Hey, minna....hisashiburi
Who I am?
Just a lurker here in Jphip!
Not dead but too lazy too update....
Anyway
just here to dump a one-shot to you guys
Douzo
FILE#16: TOUCH--
Love. The most positive feeling a person can feel. Feelings that can build a person up but also a feeling that can bring a person down. A simple yet complicated feeling that I want to feel. That’s why I started to ask myself what love is or if love even exist. If it does, I want to experience it, embrace it and bask in its wondrousness. Though for me… it might be impossible.
Walking in the streets with my best friend, my eyes stray at the couple in the corner, openly kissing without shame. Right before my eyes a question popped into my head. They’re kissing, so they love each other, right?
“Oh…would you look at that?” My best friend said beside me, her voice lace with mirth as her eyes landed at the couple I was looking at. I blushed inwardly, not really comfortable being caught by her staring at the intimate act. And by the looks my best friend was giving me, I know she would tease me endlessly about it.
“W-Why do they do stuff like that?” I blurted out. I was supposed to change the topic or divert her attention, not asking her the obvious facts. But I guess it was too late since my mouth was faster than my brain.
“Why…? Well, because they’re going out, right?” My best friend answered back, freeing her hair from its braided state using her free hand as the two of us continue to trek the familiar street towards our home. Going out? Not because they love each other? Does my best friend implying that you can kiss a person without meaning it? But, shouldn’t it be nice if you love the person you kiss?
“But isn’t there other fun stuff you can do when you’re going out?” I asked deliberately, glancing one last time at the couple, who by now was chatting idly.
“Of course there is, the ‘fun stuff’ a couple can do.” My best friend laughed lightly, making me blush again at what she’s implying. Really, ‘that’s’ not what I’m thinking she thought I was thinking when I asked her that.
“T-that’s not it…what I mean-.” I tried to explain but she cut me off.
“But you are right…” She trailed off; looking at me while giving one of her charming smile I momentarily stop walking. She’s really pretty, especially now that her hair was down and was freely swaying behind her back. I suddenly have the urge to run my fingers through her hair.
“It’s just the easiest way for two people to show that they’re going out, right? You know, so everyone else knows that they have a special relationship?” She gestured with her head to point at the couple, now a block away from us. I followed her line of sight and feel my cheeks warming up again. Those couple should learn to restrain themselves when in public.
I heard my best friend’s gentle laugh and I look at her, but immediately look away seeing the knowing smile adorned on her face directed at me.
“Oh…so it seems.” I replied, not daring to meet her eyes as I resumed walking, with her following suit.
“Why do you look so disappointed?” She asked me after awhile. Do my emotions can easily read through my facial expressions? I just frowned really, frowned at the thought that they’re doing it just so people would know they’re going out. If it was me, I’d rather do it in close doors. For me, kissing is like a sacred thing that a couple should treasure. Or I am that innocent and don’t really know about relationships?
“Uhmm…no, I just don’t really get it.” I mused, looking down at my shoes. I felt my best friend’s questioning gaze at me, so I continued to voice out my thoughts.
“Isn’t there…a lot more to dating than that?”
“Ohh? Like what?” Her teasing voice made me look at her. She’s implying something again. But really? What was I thinking when I said that? I don’t have any relationship experience so what should I say to her? Looking down at my shoes again, I pondered and said what’s on my mind.
“Uhmm…just walking around aimlessly, holding hands…not being able to sleep in the night before a date.” A small smile appeared on my lips as those words left my mouth. Darn it. I’m such a romantic sap. Or I just watch too much TV? And it hit me; I just laid out myself for more teasing. Crap.
Daring to look up at my best friend, what I saw caught me off-guard. Her eyes were brimming with mix emotions I can’t comprehend. And as fast as my blinking reflex, I was already engulf in a soft and comfortable hug.
“Minami, you’re so cute.” She squealed like a child as she continued to hold me, not caring when people look at us weirdly.
“Ack! A-Acchan, let go. People are watching.” I scolded her, though it felt really good when her body was press against mine. But I can’t be selfish, besides we’re in a public place, in a street no less. Reluctantly, she let go of me though a smile still painted on her face.
“Ne, Minami. Want to try going out with me, then?” She asked offhandedly and I was caught off guard the second time in that day. The only thing that came out from my mouth was…
“Eh?”
--
Though my initial reaction was to laugh at her mere suggestion about us trying to go out, I ended up agreeing with her. I know she’s my best friend, but since I don’t know about relationships and love I come to terms to make this as a trial and error, an experiment. But really, who can say no to Maeda Atsuko, one of the famous girls in our school.
So here I am, at the park, standing alone as I wait for my best friend to arrive. My hair already in ponytail swaying behind me as the wind blew on it. Glancing at my wristwatch I asked myself. Am I really going out in a date with Acchan?
“Sorry I made you wait.” My head automatically look at the direction of the voice. And I dare say I just saw a goddess came down from heaven.
“Whoa. You look so pretty, Acchan.” I mumbled out unconsciously and my eyes widened at the realization of what just came out from my mouth. My mouth really works faster than my brain, I cursed inwardly.
“What? I just look normal! It’s nothing special.” She smiled at me when she said that, passing my compliment like it was nothing. Ah! I completely understand. She heard them all the time it was a usual occurrence when someone praise her with her looks. Though I was thankful she didn’t notice it was just a slip of the tongue in my part. Turning away from her, I muttered a small ‘shall we?’
But I guess it was just too soon for me to let my guard down.
“So, did you manage to fall asleep last night?” She suddenly whispered to my ear, her warm breathe tickling my skin. It startled me of course as I was caught off guard, especially when she was breathing behind my ear. It was one of my many sensitive parts, so I jumped away from her.
“O-of course I did.” I manage to say though my stuttering didn’t help as her knowing smile was directed at me again.
“Oh I see…” She simply replied, her smile not wavering. Though, I did wake up 3 hours early, but I would not dare admit that to her.
“Anyway, let’s go.” As those words left her mouth she suddenly grabbed my hand, interlacing our fingers. And I willed myself not to blush as our eyes met. She smiled at me before readily pulling me towards the direction of the central shopping district. With her back facing me now, I openly stared at our intertwined hands, feeling the so-called butterflies in the stomach when I felt her squeezed my hand gently.
As we trail the familiar streets of Harajuku, passing boutique stores, so far nothing’s been any different than usual, well except with the occasion we’re our eyes met and her squeezing my hand, nothing’s really different. Though, those simple gestures send warm tingles all over my body.
“So, where are we going?” I asked her, realizing we didn’t really make a plan on where to go. She looked back at me, her disarming smile almost take my breath away as cliché as it sounds. But it was really what I felt right now.
“I thought we we’re going to walk around aimlessly?” My eyes widened at her reply but I managed to look away and composed myself before she could tease me. Really, Acchan? She was doing what I told her the other day. I should’ve seen it coming…but is she doing this just to tease me? Shaking my head, I let her pull me again but I can’t help but think how cute she was for making my so-called dream date come true.
After walking around aimlessly for an hour while eating taiyaki, we come to an agreement to visit her favorite boutique store. I agreed and I received yet another heart-fluttering smile from her. It feels like I was under Acchan’s spell that everything she asks me I will no longer think twice and I’ll said yes off the bat. I don’t care; as long as I’m with her everything is fine.
“Wow, you look so cute.” I blurted out when she came out from one of the changing rooms. When we entered the store she immediately spotted this dress and tried it out. And here she was, standing in front of me, looking so cute and pretty.
“Thanks. Hmm…I only tried this dress so I can receive a compliment from Minami.” She said and shamelessly winks at me. Ah! Such unwitting flirt, but it really got me cornered and I can’t stop my cheeks from blushing.
“W-what…well, you really do look c-cute in that dress.” I replied, scratching my cheek as I looked at her dress instead of her face. I heard her chuckle and I dare myself to look up. And I was right; her teasing smile was already in place.
“Minami, you’re so cute.” She squealed and pulled me in a hug. Hmm, Acchan is so soft. I really like it when she’s hugging me. What if I told her I like it when she’s hugging me, would she held it against me?
“Ne, how about you try something too? I’ll pick it out for you.” She said, breaking our hug and my inner self protested that our moment was short lived.
“Huh…?” I asked, still dazed from Acchan’s induced bodily-contact. She pouted at me.
“Oh! No, that’s okay. This stuff wouldn’t look good on me.” I replied after composing myself, waving my hand at her. She pouted again. Resist! Resist! I chanted inside my head. Really, she’s my best friend so she should know dresses that she wears don’t suit me…because I am not cute like her.
“Alright then…” She said, still pouting at me as she trotted towards the changing rooms.
When I saw her finally closing the door I turned towards the huge mirror just a meter away from me. I looked at my reflection and I can’t help but sigh. I looked really plain and not cute at all. I’m wondering what people thinks when they saw me with my best friend…but one thing I was sure of. People that we passed by in the streets look at her with admiration, staring at her with awe. She was after all, the type of girl who can turn heads, the type of girl every boys dream to be their girlfriend. The thought made me envious and lucky at the same time. Envious, for they would never look at me the same way they look at Acchan and lucky, ‘cause I was dating the girl they drooling with. Yes, my only consolation.
--
“Whoa, what happened, Takamina?”
“Uhm…haha, no-nothing?”
“But you’re wearing a make-up and a ribbon.”
Yes, you heard my friend Minami, er… Miichan. For starters, it was only a light make-up, a very light one that is. The ribbon? It was a gift from Acchan a long time ago but I don’t have the courage to wear it…until now. What’s the change all of a sudden? Well, I was thinking if I was dating Acchan from now on, I have to look good as much as possible. I was not born cute so I have to take this matter in my own hands and more importantly, I want to be at my best look when I’m with Acchan.
“What, you decided to change your image?” My other friend asked. It was Haruna. She’s very tall and pretty, a real bishoujo. I’ve heard that a girl from the other class confessed to her.
“Oh…yeah, kind of.” I replied shyly.
“It looks good on you. The ribbon was a bit big but it suits you, really suits you, Takamina.” Miichan said, smiling brightly as she playfully poked the ribbon sitting on my head.
“I agree, it lessens the badass aura and it gives way to your cuter side.” Haruna said, eyeing me up and down. It made me uncomfortable but she nodded afterwards and smiled at me. Really, this girl really knows how to make me go uneasy.
“Alright! I’ll take that as a compliment.” I said, raising my right eyebrow towards her.
“It is, so take it.” She replied and nudged me playfully. I laughed at that. She’s an airhead and doesn’t think what she was saying, but she’s a great friend and I like her for that.
“Oh, morning Acchan.” Miichan yelled, waving at my best friend. Somehow, just hearing her name made my heartbeat fast. I wonder what she would think about my look.
“What’s with the ribbon?”
Eh? Okay, that was a let-down. She didn’t even recognize her own gift to me. But I didn’t show it to her, instead I smiled.
“Ano…um, I wanted a bit of a change. I thought it might make me look a little…cuter.” The last part was said in a whisper. I don’t know if Acchan heard it ‘cause she was walking towards the window when I said it. But you know what? I don’t care because right now, all I could think is how pretty Acchan is. The wind blowing through the windows, making the curtains dance behind my best friend was like a scene in a fairytale.
“Oh! Hey, Minami come here.” Smiling, she waved at me to stand beside her. I did and she threw the curtains over us, shielding the both of us from the rest of our classmates’ eyes. She pulled me closer to her as we lean at the windowsill, looking outside the school field.
“So, you finally wear the ribbon I gave you. And I was right; it looks good on you, Minami. But, what’s with the sudden image change?” Ah! She did remember about the ribbon. I should’ve realized she was only teasing me. But, I’m glad, really, really glad she didn’t forgot about it.
“Um…well, I know this sounds stupid but you’re too cute and stylish, Acchan. If I’m going to be with you I think I might need to change a bit…” I admitted to her and I felt my cheeks warming at my admission. I’m so embarrass right now I can’t bring myself to look at her. What’s the worse, she became silent and from my periphery I saw her staring at me.
When I thought the worst is yet to come, I felt Acchan’s right hand caressing my left cheek, making me turn to face her. I blushed furiously realizing how close our faces are. And as our eyes met, I felt the world around us vanish and it’s only the two of us that exist. She smiled at me and slowly leans in, my heart fluttered thinking of what she’s about to do. And as our lips were about to meet, she slightly turns my face to the side and kissed me on my right cheek instead...
“Minami, you are cute.” She enticingly whispered on my ear and I unconsciously shivered as I felt her warm breathe hitting my skin. Those made me forget my disappointment for not being kissed on the lips. But for now, I couldn’t ask for more. Being in Acchan’s presence and close proximity is enough, besides I told myself that kissing was a sacred thing and will do it behind closed doors.
--
That very night, I couldn’t sleep. My thoughts were filled by Acchan. Her cute face, her charming smile, her warm eyes, her gentle voice and more importantly her soft lips. I want to kiss her badly after what she did. I want to feel her...I want her, all of her. I know I may sound a creep but, these feelings are overwhelming. I can’t contain it inside of me anymore, so, is this what they called love then?
“Whoa, Takamina, what happened? You’re bouncing.” Its Miichan again. She’s always the first one to notice the changes in me, be it my image or my behavior. She’s very...perceptive. Considering she always goof around and was acting like an ahou, that’s why she surprises me every time when her genius side comes out.
“I’m always like this.” I denied, scoffing at her to hide my true feelings.
“But your overly-genki compared to the usual. Did something happen that I should know?” She wriggled her brows at me. And oh, I forgot to mention I hate this side of her. She’s hard to handle when she’s like this. I need to get away from her, now!
“So…?” I sweat-dropped. Really, Miichan’s kinda scary even when she’s not trying to be one.
“Minami, do you have a minute?” The familiar voice made me smile unconsciously, and without giving any regards to Miichan, I turn my back towards her as I face the angel who called me.
“Of course…” I smiled at her but Acchan only looked at me, then she walk away. I frowned. What’s wrong with her?
As we walk towards the direction of the Library, I felt something odd. I felt something bad is going to happen. Call it a sixth sense. As we approach our destination, this strange feeling welling up inside me tripled. It hit me hard I lost connection to my surroundings that I almost bumped into Acchan when she stops walking. When I looked around, I noticed were already inside the Library, in a secluded place where no one can see us.
“Minami…” Acchan whispered my name, her gentle voice reached my ears but something’s different. All of a sudden, I was reminded of the dread feelings inside me. When I looked at her warm eyes that held so much care every time I looked at it, it was nowhere to be found.
“Listen, I just want to tell you that I think we should stop going out from now on.” She averted her gaze as she said those words. Acchan’s breaking up with me. She’s going to leave me. But why? I thought she likes being with me.
“Its fun going out on a date with you, but that’s all the stuff we can do anyway, right? So, I don’t think we need to call it ‘going out’.” Every word that came out from her mouth was like a knife cutting shallow wounds on my skin. It hurts, it’s hurting me.
“…and I think I’m going to be pretty busy on weekends from now on.” She should’ve just directly driven the knife to my heart instead. This was so pathetic; she can’t even look me in the eyes as she slowly breaks my heart. I want to scream at her, scream why she was doing this to me.
“Oh…I see.” Was the only thing I can manage to say. I really don’t trust myself to speak right now, ‘cause if I said too many words, I might breakdown in front of her. Which is the last thing I won’t do, I don’t want her to see me as a weak person. I want to show her it was nothing, that this ‘nothing’ that was happening right now wasn’t affecting me. Though truth to be told it was clearly breaking me inside.
“I’m sorry, Minami. I should have more free time when there aren’t so many events going on.” She took my right hand on hers and I willed myself not to flinch or slapped her hand that was touching me. She’s making it hard for me to hate her. Even though she’s breaking my heart so effortless right now, I still want her, still want her bad.
“Don’t mention it.” I forced myself to say, willing my tears not to fall...yet. She let go of my hand.
“So, um…I guess we should go back now.” That’s it? It’s over now? I can’t accept it just like that, can I? I should do something. I should give something to her, something she would never forget and regret for doing this to me.
“Wa-wait…” I stopped her, grabbing her hand. She look at me, her face was…I can’t read what she’s feeling, though I almost step back when I saw her cold eyes. It was frightening, it was emotionless. It was as if the girl that was standing in front of me wasn’t my best friend at all. Standing straight and with resolved courage, I said to her...
“Since we did go out, even if it was just for a short while, how about we end it with a kiss?” For a moment I thought I saw a flicker of shock or surprise in Acchan’s expression but it was gone the moment I blinked. Then she smiled, it was her disarming smile that I fell for...but her eyes say otherwise. It was still cold; it wasn’t the warm eyes that look at me with care. It was...
“Sure. It’s not like it’s my first or anything.” And before I could say anything, she pulled me closer to her, crushing her lips to mine. I was caught off guard. This sensation after all was a foreign to me but I welcomed it. Relishing and enjoying the short and last moment with my first love.
So, this is love, right?
If not, then what is it?
But I’m sure I love Acchan. Because, that’s the only name I can give this feeling right now.
End.--
Author's Note: Harhar....my number two sad fic and it was the famous TakAcchan, sugoi ne?
LOL, kidding....since i wrote a TomoTomo sad fic then it's fair to write one for TakAcchan
So, don't kill me yet, ne?
PS: Forgot to thank those who read my fics, so guys out there arigatou!
especially those who left some comments
Love u guys....
Topic: [AKB48 FILE COLLECTIONS] File18: Unstoppable Force Chap3 update! (Read 38560 times)