Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes! This is my second birthday since I joined JPH!P and it always feels good to get wished a happy birthday by onlines peeps
I'm so sorry for the extended hiatus! SarangAi is ashamed...
But I'm back on track, I've done my work, I have more but it can wait a little!
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Chapter 76 Eri groaned in frustration as she whirled around in circles, checking every single name plate that labeled each patient’s room. She had already misread many name plates, considering the excessive number of Tanakas there were in Japan, and had accidently knocked on wrong doors a couple times. The more mistakes she made, the more embarrassed she got. How could she have possibly forgotten the room number? She had just visited the man a couple days ago with Reina. Eri supposed it was because her girlfriend always led the way to her father’s room whenever the turtle visited, so she never really paid attention to the location of the room.
Finally giving up on her short-term memory, the turtle trudged back to the front desk. She had just been flattering herself all along, thinking that she could somehow find the room soon enough. But alas, Eri decided to accept reality and just ask the kind-looking nurse at the counter.
“Can I help you?” the young nurse asked, seeming to be concerned by Eri’s deep sigh.
“Yes, um, I’m looking for Tanaka Koichi’s room?” Eri mumbled, rubbing her neck.
“One moment, please,” the nurse said as she turned her back to the turtle. She fingered through the many files shelved in a bookcase wall before arriving at the right name tab. She pulled out the manila folder and flipped through the papers inside. She looked back up and smiled sweetly at the teenage girl, who was restlessly tapping her fingers on the counter. “He’s in room 712 on the floor above us. You can take the elevator up.”
Eri smacked her forehead. Of course, she was on the wrong floor. All this time, she convinced herself that Tanaka Shachou’s room had to be somewhere around here yet he was on a different floor this whole time. She quickly thanked the nurse and dashed towards the stairwell. She knew she didn’t have the patience to take the elevator at this point, and Reina probably didn’t have the patience to wait for her any longer either.
Bursting through the heavy door, Eri was presented with an identical view from the 6th floor: a lobby filled with a moderate number of people, the front desk, and hallways branching out. She quickly made her way down the indicated hallway and searched the walls for the correct number and name plate before she spotted her lover, standing in front of a door. Taking a deep breath, Eri walked over to her lover who was frozen like a statue, staring at the entryway to her father’s room. When her shoulder were touched, Reina looked up at the visitor in shock. Relief quickly washed over her face when realized who it was as she placed her hand on top of Eri’s.
“You were waiting out here?”
“I didn’t have the guts to go in alone.” Reina smiled a little, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand. “Hard to believe I was a yankii once, right?” She laughed at her own little joke as Eri smiled. She was relieved to see that her lover wasn’t freaking out too much; she seemed calm enough to not space out like a ghost this time.
“I’m here for you,” Eri whispered. Reina nodded, grateful for her girlfriend’s support. Those simple words were all she needed to face her fears. Without a second thought, Reina reached out and opened the door.
The quiet humming of the humidifier resonated in the room, followed by low murmurs from the nurse who was taking notes on a clipboard. She stood beside the reclined bed in which the patient was slightly sitting up with his back supported by multiple pillows. Tanaka Shachou looked up to spot his daughter with her girlfriend, and gave a small nod in acknowledgement. Reina returned the same nod and proceeded to sit down at the stool next to the bed.
“Are you both family members of Tanaka-san?” the nurse asked politely. “Only relatives can visit now for a limited time.”
“Don’t worry, Nurse Satou,” the old man said. “This here is my daughter.”
“Well then, I’m sorry but you’ll have to leave, ojou-san,” the nurse said apologetically to the turtle standing behind her lover. “You can wait outside until your friend is done.”
“No,” Reina said firmly, grabbing Eri’s hand to stop her from moving. “She’s family too.”
Eri’s lip curved into a small smile as she squeezed her girlfriend’s hand. The nurse raised an eyebrow as she looked at the patient for confirmation. The old man examined her daughter’s stern expression and then her friend before smiling, as though he was amused.
“So she is.” He nodded in approval at the nurse, whose lips formed a tight line as though she was really wondering whether the turtle was family to the patient or not. Realizing she was in no position to argue, the nurse headed for the door.
“You have 15 minutes,” she said as she crossed the threshold. “Tanaka-san still needs to rest.”
The door clicked close and an awkward silence filled the room. Tanaka-shachou leaned back into his pillows as he stared at the wall, not sure as to what he should say. Reina also kept her eyes wandering from the floor to her knees to her hands, but nowhere above that level. After what felt like hours, Eri decided that nothing was going to be accomplished by this silent father-daughter pair unless she took the first action.
“It’s good to see you up again, Tanaka-san,” Eri said politely, bowing. “I apologize for disturbing you like this… and for my rude behavior from when we first met. It was very tactless of me.”
“Please don’t mind it… Kamei-san, was it?” the patient spoke softly. His voice sounded hoarse and papery from days of lying unconscious in bed. “Rather, I meant to thank you for stepping in the other day. You did something that I have not been able to do during my entire life.”
You protected her in a way I could never have done. Such a plain girl like you… “I only did what I had to do,” Eri replied, slightly confused by Tanaka Shachou’s words. Reina seemed to understand more or less, since her grasp on Eri’s hand relaxed a little. Whatever the kitten’s father said, it must’ve been with good intentions.
“And speaking of what we need to do,” the man said, turning his weary eyes to his daughter, “I believe we need to talk.”
“Talk or argue?” Reina retorted. Her voice seemed to shoot daggers, but Tanaka Koichi could tell she wasn’t trying to be angry. Her eyes were full of anxiety, as though she feared their conversation may take a violent turn to action like the last time they tried to speak to each other peacefully.
“I assure you, I intend for us to only talk, and not even argue,” the father said, smiling sadly. Reina found it unfamiliar to see her father make such an expression. He had refused to show any other emotion besides anger and indifference since that day; yet here he was, making the most honest expression Reina had ever seen of him. Behind the smooth mask that he had used to hide exhaustion, he had aged so much…
“… Don’t give me any of that…”
“What was that?”
“Don’t give me any of that bull crap!” Reina yelled, fisting her hands in rage. “You’re saying such a thing to me after all these years? You’re supposed to hate me! You’re supposed to hate me for what I’ve done to you, to Mama! You’re not supposed to make that kind of face, like you’re weak… You’re supposed to be angry…” She clenched her teeth to hold back the tears in her eyes. She succeeded in hiding the tears at the cost of her eyesight; everything was blurry now, but she could still clearly see the guilty eyes of her father, gazing at her.
“… I’ve been a terrible father, haven’t I?” Tanaka Shachou sighed deeply, keeping his breathing steady to not overwork his lungs. “I never paid so much attention to you, and I never bothered to help you when you became an outcast at your school… All I could do was throw you out because of my own pain. I don’t even deserve to be called your father.”
“No, you did the right thing!” Reina argued, blinking out the tears that finally managed to run loose. “I couldn’t be a good daughter to you or Mama… and I killed her too. You did the right thing by throwing me out… Or rather, you should’ve yelled at me or hit me or something, but… you held back for the mere reason that I was your kid… You shouldn’t have done that.”
“… But I wanted to,” Tanaka Shachou mumbled. He looked at his daughter’s tear-streaked face, the face that he had considered the very idea of hate. “I wanted so very much to… beat you at that very moment… when I found out Ryouko was dead. My wife, the only person I’ve ever whole-heartedly trusted in my entire life… was gone. There were so many ways I wanted to take revenge on you for taking Ryouko away from me, but I couldn’t do anything.”
“You should’ve done it,” Reina said through her teeth, her tears streaming down her cheeks nonstop. “You’ve beat me, you should’ve—”
“No, I couldn’t,” Tanaka Shachou said, shaking his head. He smiled sadly at his daughter, waiting for his response. “Because I loved your mother very much… and I knew just how much she loved you.”
“… I loved Mama, too,” Reina said, her voice cracking at the mentioning of her mother, “which is why you should’ve punished me more harshly than you did.”
She hung her head low as she cried out softly. All the guilt that Reina had felt for the past three years washed over her mind; her behavior was what hurt her mother and eventually killed her. The way that policeman had informed her of her mother’s accident on the way to pick her up… it was a memory that could never be erased. The deadly silence in her home before her father finally told her to go up to Tokyo… it was something that she kept in her heart as her own form of a punishment.
“I didn’t deserve to judge you,” Tanaka Shachou admitted. “After that day, I defined the feeling of hatred with you. I don’t know how I could’ve done such a thing as a father… but I still did.” Suddenly, he chuckled a little, letting out a low raspy laugh from the base of his throat. “You know what’s funny, though? I ended up linking you with the meaning of regret as well.”
To this, Reina raised her head and widened her eyes in confusion. She had never seen her father smile like that before; his lips were curve up ever so slightly, that one would not recognize that it was a smile at the first glance.
“It’s funny what deadly diseases do to you,” Tanaka Shachou said softly. “The feeling of death creeping up on you really makes you think about so many things; it makes you feel rushed to accomplish the work that you have yet to finish. When I was diagnosed with lung cancer, I thought of the tasks that I needed to complete. There was so much to attend to at the company and so many workers that I worried about… yet the first thought that came to mind was you.”
“…Me?” Reina asked in disbelief.
He nodded. “The matter that I had left unfinished, the issue I avoided the most, the past I was too scared to face… you, my very own daughter whom I hated so much, was to be my biggest regret before death. The way I treated you, the way I refused to see you, the way I broke this family apart… I regretted everything. That’s why I came to Tokyo: to somehow piece back whatever is left of our bond. To atone in some way, to make a family again… to tell you how sorry I am for not being able to protect you all these years.”
Reina’s lips trembled as she let out a shaky sigh. Unable to hold in the emotions, she broke down and sobbed out loud, letting her tears soak her face and her hands. She didn’t know what to feel in this kind of situation; the father that had always hated her was looking for a way to apologize. But she was the one at fault all along, wasn’t she? How is she supposed to react? With joy? With gratitude? With relief?
No. Just guilt. It was only guilt, and it will always be just guilt. Guilt, at not being able to return first and beg for forgiveness. Guilt, at not thinking of ever solving the conflict between them. Guilt, at having given up on the hope that one day, things could return to what it once used to be: family.
“… I’m sorry…” Reina mumbled, sniffling in between words. “I’m sorry for… not realizing… sooner.”
“I’m sorry too… Reina.” Tanaka Shachou smiled at this, having felt his heartbeat race a little faster from calling his daughter by her name, like he used to before everything went awry. He couldn’t remember the last time he had called her in such an intimate way… and the last time he heard his daughter call him in such a manner. “Come home with me, Reina. Come back to Fukuoka. Give me chance to make things right for our family again.”
Reina clenched her teeth as she gazed at her father with hope in her eyes. But she hadn’t forgotten the person that was standing behind her all this time, supporting her silently. The person who had always been there, the one who held her in this world…
“… I can’t,” Reina confessed. “My place is here now. I can’t go back to Fukuoka anymore. I can’t leave my new family.”
Reina looked up at the girl standing beside her, whose eyes were wide with shock. Eri’s expression was almost apologetic, yet she stayed silent. She wasn’t selfless enough to tell Reina to go back home; she felt guilty about it, but she needed Reina more than anyone. She knew that as a fact.
“I understand,” Tanaka Shachou said, showing a faint smile. He placed his hand on Reina’s face as she looked up in surprise. He looked stroked her cheek before sighing in satisfaction. “This is enough for me. Thank you for growing up so beautifully. I’m… proud… to have a strong daughter like you.”
Reina’s voice hitched as she placed her hand on top of her father’s. She quickly bit down on her lip and nodded comprehension; she couldn’t find the proper words to expression her gratitude back, but she was sure her father understood her meaning nevertheless. The single contact they were making now—the first contact they had made in years—was enough communication for both of them.
“Kamei-san,” Tanaka Shachou called, directing his attention to the turtle, “thank you for taking care of my little girl. I’ll be honest with you; I wasn’t quite impressed by you at first, nor by your grades or profile…” Eri’s cheeks turned slightly red with embarrassment as Reina let out a soft chuckle in disbelief that her father checked up on her girlfriend, and in amusement at Eri’s less-than-average report card. Tanaka Shachou continued on with a smile, “But I remember your friend vouched for you in a very fervent manner. And if you could get someone to defend you like that… well, I’m sure there’s something extraordinary about you that attracts those kinds of friends.”
“Don’t worry,” Eri assured, “I’ll be the best g—friend… that Reina has ever had.”
“Right, friend,” Tanaka Shachou chuckled. He very well knew there was something a bit more going on between his daughter and the turtle than just friendship, but he didn’t feel the need to inquire about it today. He wasn’t sure whether he could handle the whole “meeting with my daughter’s lover” scenario at the moment.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door followed by the entrance of the nurse. “Visiting hours are over; Tanaka-san needs to rest now!”
Reina slowly got up from her seat and headed for the door. “He’s going to be okay, right?” she asked the nurse.
“As long as he gets the necessary treatments and therapy, he’ll become better in time,” the nurse reassured. “It would’ve been easier if the cancer was caught in an earlier stage, but it’s not too late to treat him.”
“Thank you very much,” Reina sighed, bowing to the nurse. She turned to face her father again and bowed. “I’ll come visit again.”
“Even after I go back to Fukuoka?” Tanaka Shachou asked, smiling a little. “Just… pop in once in a while… during holidays or something.
“I will… Papa.”
As Tanaka Shachou’s face lit up with pleasant surprise, Reina quickly turned and left the room with Eri closing the door behind them. The nurse walked over to the bed and pressed the button to decline the mattress. She fixed the blanket for him and checked the IV needle in his arm.
“Your daughter seems like a lovely girl,” the nurse said, grinning. “She seems to love you very much.”
“… Perhaps,” the father said with a smile. “I just hope she knows how much I treasure her as well.”
** ** **
Eri shut the door to the patient’s room and turned to her girlfriend. Reina had her back turned to her, as she quickly wiped away whatever traces of tears that were left to mark her face. She was sniffling as well as breathing quickly, rubbing her eyes with her sleeves. She then let out a long sigh, placing her hand on her chest to calm herself down.
“You okay?” Eri asked.
“… Yeah.” Reina turned around and smiled at her lover, who grinned back at her in relief. “More than okay, actually. I’m feeling pretty good.”
“You should, after the way you were blubbering in there,” Eri teased, as Reina pouted in complaint. She laughed and pulled the kitten into her arms. The small girl mumbled something that sounded like thanks as she buried her face into her lover’s shoulder.
“I did it, Eri…”
“Mm… I’m so proud of you.” Eri gave her girlfriend a good squeeze before kissing her forehead. “But… are you sure you don’t want to go back home?”
“What are you talking about, aho Kame?” Reina grinned. “I
am home. Here. With
you.”
“ You don’t know how happy that makes me,” the turtle sighed, embracing her girlfriend again. “Well then, shall we leave?” She offered her hand as Reina took it without the slightest hesitation. “Where to?”
“Mm… I’m kind of hungry,” the kitten smiled. “Dinner? My house?”
“Sounds great,” Eri agreed.
Holding tightly onto her lover’s hand, Reina led the way as she left all mistake and regrets behind to plan a better future for this new family.
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I hope you guys didn't forget too much about where we left off...
Well, since I've been gone for a while, I guess I should say the next chapter will involve Gaki-san and Nakky... I think that's a good enough preview
Topic: Chigatte mo Iin da yo! ~Mainly TanaKame, TakaGaki~ [FINALE - Ch. 93 - (1/30)] (Read 409676 times)