yourstruly : No immediate death for me? Well... I'm supposed to be death since a really long time ago you know? But I don't know why... nobody killed me yet
So it's in June? Alright... Note to myself: I have to finish this story BEFORE June
panickofpain:Yes, finally, after a really long time, she confessed! Well, you guys are lucky since I was supposed to make them wait AGAIN, but... yeah... I changed my mind
Japanime1 : Just because you're not a fan... I'll write it. 
Well, what will happen to him... who knows? Maybe he'll steal Acchan's heart and break Atsumina? Hum... I'm not as cruel, don't worry
But I got an idea about what will happen... I just don't think it's good
LOL you're still with that title? I changed it exactly because I didn't like it
And you... when will part 3 be posted? Coz to me, soon is like... SOON.
mangobanana15 : But they are only kids! Okay, cruel kids, but still! No? No? You're not convinced at all, aren't you?
Ohh... you're really angry
But this the reaction I wanted to create so me=happy! I'm glad I made you feel this way
LOL I know, I was wondering how to write a confession scene since I haven't done it before and I didn't know AT ALL especially with Takamina and Acchan
So I just write it this way, waiting a lot before the "real" confession. But don't tell me it is the beginning of a hard journey for them, I still haven't decided anything and you might put wrong ideas in my mind
Keichan ^_^ : Hey I updated, happy now? I told you, yesterday or wednesday, didn't I? But it wasn't yesterday because I was busy writing the beginning of the next chapter... but at least I keep my promise! Um... thank for telling me I almost died. But... no comments about what you said after
Ahem, so yeah... YOUR FIC! NINJAAAAAAAA WHERE ARE YOU
HA, thank for the love but... I'M GOING TO BREAK THEM APART JUST TO PISS YOU OFF.
sorakamiya : I'M NOT POUTING. *pout*
And yeah, luckily it's not your birthday everyday, but I avoided death thank to you
kahem : I made them turning around A LOT. Because I didn't know how to write anything
Yes, they are kids. And this situation really happens Japan, unfortunately. But... I'm not an S. It's just that I think I'm better writing tragedy, so I'm trying to avoid writing "happy scenes"
hott3stson3 : LOL we'll see about this later
Don't worry about becoming hentai... I think everyone here is. Except me...
Everyone reading: Thank you guys
Maaaan it's been a long time since I got so many comments! Well, this and last time
They really motivate me guys, thank you a lot
But I guess it's all thank to Atsumina...
Sorry, there is a bit less Atsumina in this chapter, but it will come back in the next one
Seriously, when I don't have time to write, I'm like "I have to write".... and when I have time to write I'm like "I don't want to T___T" But then I re-read your comments and it motivates me a lot!
So thank!
It's been exactly 13 days since I updated, so less than two weeks!
Go me!
Seriously, I had a lot of free time yesterday and Monday, so I had time to finish this chapter ^^ But you know... I think there's something missing
Anyway, there's something going on with the nickname, so pay attention to it please
Like I said before, there's bit less Atsumina, but still, it was kinda fun for me to write this chapter because... I don't know... I like how I managed to write the end. So I hope you will still enjoy it! If not... welll at least don't kill me
The end note will be long, but please... read them
Sorry for the mistakes! I still haven't improve my skills in English
Chapter 19She didn’t die when she came back on earth. She didn’t hurt herself either. She just realized that… she was only prisoner of love… since a very long time already.The small girl took a deep breathe, not moving, looking at the other person lying by her side. As her eyes met the intense glance of this other person, she felt her heart racing again, even though she had just managed to calm herself. She looked at their hands, holding each other, and squeezed it, smiling shyly. They had been lying side by side for about an hour, without saying anything and she felt like nothing could ever feel better than just be there with her… She couldn’t believe what had just happened. Were they really… together now? She had feared this time for so long time… and now it felt like a heavy burden was finally be released from her shoulders. She felt like she was still dreaming… but that this time, she would never wake up.
Was love so… powerful? Just lying on her bed with Acchan… was enough to make her forgetting about each problem she had. Well, almost, but still, it was enough to take her to another world, where everything was possible, where limits were constantly surpassing, where boundaries were broken… and where the path of love seemed endless.
So that was what they called “taking a chance?” Was it always… so painful to take a chance, to make the best decision? Was it always so painful that… one could barely breathe at the beginning? Was it something everyone was looking for? Takamina sighed. Even though right now was fine… she knew tomorrow would be another day, another situation… but still more time she could spend with Acchan. Was it so painful to… fall in love with someone? She hoped that it would be easier to live with love than… living without saying anything.
Years ago… she would have never thought she’d be in love with a girl. And when she had met Acchan… she had only seen her as her best friend, she had never thought about being in love with one of the members. To her, each member was just… members and friends. There was nothing more, and she never ever imagined her dating one of them. Talking and enjoying spending time with someone… it didn’t mean love. It didn’t mean she would kiss them and everything. It was not… something she had had in mind, not even for a short second. But suddenly, it was like if all her principles and each of her thoughts about it… were gone. Gone somewhere far, somewhere they couldn’t come back from.
She enjoyed each second she spent with Acchan. Just having the actress there… was happiness. She would have never thought Acchan’s answer would be so… intense. And she would have never her own answer would be so powerful too. When their lips had met, it was like she couldn’t control her body anymore. She was blind by love, blind by her desires… she had wanted more and couldn’t stop. Breaking this moment… had never crossed her mind. She had almost fainted when she had realized her best friend was on top of her. She had become redder than ever when she had met her eyes… but even her shyness couldn’t fight against the sweetness she had seen in the actress’s eyes. In those eyes… she had seen that whatever would happen… Acchan would never do something bad to her, not without her permission. Acchan would never threat her badly nor hurt her. She would wait by her side… until their relation would get deeper. So they had just lied together… dreaming.
She looked at her “friend” and blinked. Acchan was looking awkwardly at her, a small smirk on her face, like she was thinking about something…
“What?” Takamina asked nicely, enjoying that, for the first time, she wasn’t the one feeling awkward.
The actress kept smirking as she began to play with her girlfriend’s hair.
“I’m just imagining what could have happened if we haven’t stopped…”
Takamina blushed furiously as she stammered:
“A-A-Acchan! D-Don’t talk about this…”
They were fine this way… why did Acchan need to bring that subject?! Takamina swallowed with difficulty as the actress said:
“But we’re dating now, aren’t we? This is something couples think about sooner or later…” The actress grinned, liking to play with Takamina.
Oh yeah, forget about everything she had thought about Acchan’s eyes. It was obvious that her friend would wait… the thing she was afraid was more “how long” Acchan would wait for her… Takamina couldn’t believe that the “so unsure and scared and shy and whatever else” girl was now talking about having sex. It was like… the old personality of her friend was suddenly coming back now that almost everything had been said.
Almost everything.
“Later.” Takamina just answered, not feeling comfortable at all, especially with the fact that they were actually alone in the house, in her bedroom, the door closed, on her bed… lying side by side… and closer than they used to be before. And all that… without mentioning the fact that they had just shared a deep and passionate kiss…
They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes, not talking about the avoiding subject. That was how Takamina liked to be. She really hoped their respective works would not be too much trouble to have this kind of relationship… but she’d rather not think about it now.
“Hello?” Acchan answered to her phone three minutes later, breaking the sweet and calm atmosphere there had just been.
“Ah, really? That’s great! Well, see you tomorrow!”
“Who was it?” Takamina asked as they both sat on her bed, knowing very well that Acchan would soon have to leave her. Well… paradise couldn’t last forever.
Though she really wanted Acchan to stay today… even if it was to talk about such embarrassing subjects as… sex. Maybe Takamina had a hidden pervert mind somewhere in her body… maybe. Well, she would do anything just to stay with the person she loved… almost anything.
“My manager. She said I have a shooting tomorrow at the same studio as yours! So maybe we’ll be able to meet…”
“Nice!” Takamina said before remembering what she would have to do tomorrow
Shooting her B-Side PV. Meant… with HIM. But before she could even mention it, she noticed Acchan still had this awkward look on her face. Knowing what it meant, she decided to finish with it right away.
“What are you still thinking about…” She mumbled as she realized Acchan was becoming even worst than Yuko now that the “confession” step was done.
“Well… remember when you were in Mendol?” Acchan said as Takamina nodded. “There was this scene… in the TV studio… where you and Haruna had to surprise two other persons…”
Takamina could remember very well which part she was talking about. It was at the beginning, when Haruna and she were still girls. They had to hide from some crazy men and had hid in a random room where they had assist to their first “L” scene between Marilyn and Saeko…
“So what?”
“Well… since tomorrow we’re going to the same studio and might have a secret meeting… I thought we could hide somewhere and you know… do something similar.” Acchan said innocently.
Takamina was about to slap her forehead. Why couldn’t Acchan stay… the sweet girl she just had been when they were talking together? Seriously, it was the last time EVER she would think as Acchan as someone “shy”.
“Shut up or I take back everything I’ve said until now.” Takamina muttered.
“You wouldn’t dare do that…” Acchan smirked as she gently kissed her girlfriend, enjoying the fact that Takamina was not moving away from her anymore.
“Maybe…” Takamina joked, rolling her eyes.
“Aw, you’re cute!” Acchan laughed. “We’re going to work hard tomorrow! I’m sure Kenji will do great for your PV.”
Takamina stopped smiling. Kenji… she needed to tell Acchan about him. But why did it have to be after everything… It might make Acchan change her mind! The singer was damn worry about this situation already, she didn’t want to have her first fight with Acchan too. She was scared Acchan would stop loving her if she told her. She didn’t want… anything bad to happen between them.
But remembering what had happened to her when was young… was hard and painful. She had hoped she would never have to remember those events… but then again, fate was against her. She had hoped her life would get better after having join AKB48… It had been… until Hiroko arrived… and until now. It seemed that now she had finally confessed to Acchan… well a lot of bad things would happen later. Like she didn’t have the right to be happy.
She was seriously beginning to think… that she didn’t have the right to live if she didn’t feel pain. She was beginning to think that… happiness would never reach her. She was beginning to think that… if it wasn’t for Acchan, she would have died a long time ago.
“Is everything fine?”
Acchan had suddenly noticed a change in Takamina’s aura. Was her friend… fine with Kenji? She remembered the conversation they had had about him being in her PV, and about how Takamina seemed unhappy about it. She wondered what the reasons behind everything were. It seemed that it was the end of the world that Kenji had a role in her PV. But he was an actor, and a popular one too. He couldn’t be helpless to her. After all, all Acchan wanted was to help her friend having the best release ever! So what was the problem about him? Takamina didn’t even know him, did she? It was really unusual for her to judge people when she didn’t know them! It wasn’t… Takamina-self to reject him without even having talk to him ONCE!
The ex AKB48’s ace actually knew Kenji really well. She had lost herself one day in Seoul and, thank god, she had been helped by him to find her way back to the hotel. She had been really surprised to see him the next day at the studio when she was recording. Surprised, sure, but truly happy. They had immediately become friends. He was the nice guy, always ready to help anyone, always smiling and joking around. Acchan also had to admit that… he looked nice too. Of course, she was in love with Takamina, but she couldn’t help thinking that if she wasn’t so much into Takamina, she would have loved to have him as her perfect boyfriend. She knew he would never betray her nor anyone else. He was someone people could trust…
“Sure.” Takamina replied, pretending everything was alright. “I’m just… overwhelmed by everything that just happened, I can’t think about work now…”
“I must be really important to make you forget about work.” Acchan laughed.
Takamina smiled at her. Acchan was the most important thing in her life now. Nothing, not even her common past with Kenji would make her mad at her.
“Yeah…”
“You’re not talking seriously!” Acchan pouted cutely. “You’re joking right now!”
Takamina smirked, thinking jealous Acchan was the cutest thing EVER.
“Sorry,” she apologized, “I was thinking about something else.”
She was actually thinking about a way to tell Acchan about the real face of this jerk.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Um? Nothing… I guess. It’s nothing important.”
Seriously, it was lame from her, but she definitely couldn’t tell Acchan about him. She didn’t want to bother Acchan about her past. It was something she could only handle by herself. She didn’t want Acchan… to pity her. She didn’t want her to become extremely nice with her just because of her past. She just… didn’t want her to know.
“Really?” Acchan asked, obviously not believing her at all.
Takamina tried to lie to Acchan… but it didn’t work.
“Well, I was thinking about this guy…” Takamina said, knowing there was no need to finish her sentence.
“Tell me… Why do you hate him?”
The small girl didn’t answer. She knew she couldn’t hide anything from her… but still, she couldn’t tell her everything. All she wanted was to forget… even if she knew it was impossible right now. The only person who knew who the guy was… was Hiroko. And it would stay like this. Even if Acchan and she had step forward about their relationship, she couldn’t explain her anything more. It would make her heart bleed even more for nothing. If would hurt her even more… for something that she was supposed to have forgotten long time ago.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me right now.” Acchan just answered to Takamina’s silence.
Though she couldn’t help but feeling a bit sad about the fact that the girl she loved was still hiding things from her. Acchan wanted to be Takamina’s everything. The one the small girl would come when she was sad, the only she would confess to, the one she would rely on… the one she would tell everything. She wanted to be there to her friend. She wanted to be… someone Takamina would be with forever. She knew she would have to wait. Just for the confession, if she, herself, had been anxious to death, she couldn’t even imagine the stress Takamina had had.
“But someday… I want to know everything about you.” She added, insisting on “everything”.
Takamina blushed, thinking the world “everything” had many meanings. In fact… “everything” meant… everything. But right now… “everything” stopped to this short sentence.
“I love you.”
***
She arrived at the studio soon in the morning. She wanted to practice a little more before the beginning of the shooting. Thinking about it made her sick, but she knew she had no choice but to do it, even if for that she had to endure someone she disliked like hell. She had spent the night before thinking about what would happen. Well, that and how things would go with Acchan too… Acchan… how was she ever going to tell her? Maybe she should just do it now, in one shot, so it would be the end of this case already! No… she should just tell her after the shooting, so that maybe it wouldn’t be a really big problem. After all, as soon as the PV would be done, he would leave, right? There was nothing more to worry about.
She spent two hours alone, trying to concentrate on her work, but couldn’t, being busy thinking about someone else, aka Acchan.
But now that she thought about it… it wasn’t “Acchan” anymore. “Acchan” was only the nickname the fans gave her. Takamina had kind of learned to use it too, but now… wasn’t it a bit stupid to still call her this way after so much time? Why did she call her “Acchan” all the time? It wasn’t her name… it wasn’t her last name either… it was just a nickname, something she had chosen to represent herself as an idol and as an actress. It was how fans called her… but Takamina wasn’t Acchan’s fan, right? She was… closer than just being a fan, and even closer than just being friend with her. So maybe…. Instead of calling her “Acchan”, she should call her by her real name. After all, it wasn’t “Acchan” she fell in love with, but Atsuko. “Acchan” and “Atsuko” were the same person, but different ones at the same time. The part of “Acchan” Takamina knew… was truly called Atsuko, not anything else.
She was still thinking about this when the studio’s door opened, welcoming Kenji, their producer, a few cameramen and some others staff members. She bowed to all of them, even thought she suddenly felt really bad just by looking at her childhood daemon. Somehow… she whished Acchan could appear in front of her miraculously… just so she would feel a bit better. Of course, it didn’t happen. Acchan would come later today… and by the time, she would have probably gone somewhere else, even though they had talked about meeting each other yesterday.
“Takahashi-san, good morning!” Kenji said happily, not noticing the murderous glance hid behind Takamina’s nice look. “I can’t wait to work with you!”
“Yes, me too.” She forced herself to answer, knowing everyone was looking at her.
The concept was really simple. She and Kenji would play best friend supporting each other, going through different problems that could happen in a lifetime. At the end, ironically, Kenji would have to leave her to travel overseas and would never come back to Japan. Since the song’s lyrics were mostly talking about how much people had strength to surpass problems if they wanted to, the PV would be fine. The end would only show Takamina standing in front of a gravestone, making everyone understanding the guy was actually dead. Nothing really knew, but everyone in Japan liked these kind of scenes, so why not? At this part, Takamina knew she would be more than happy to imagine his death. Plus, the whole thing would go through a bunch of special effects, which would make it even cooler. Takamina seriously didn’t see how Kenji was “perfect” to play such an ordinary role, but she kept her mouth shut. She didn’t want to have problems with anybody, especially knowing it was Acchan who have brought him in.
“Well, everyone prepares themselves!” The producer screamed as he gave them a few minutes to go to make up and everything else.
Takamina nodded and left the piece, completely ignoring the guy who kept glancing at her back until she disappeared. Kenji opened his mouth, like he was about to scream her name, but didn’t.
***
The PV wasn’t finished at all, but at least, the day was. She didn’t have work tomorrow, so she felt relieved she would not see Kenji until two days. Today, she had worked professionally, doing her best to look normal while performing. She had avoided her enemy all time, no exception. Each time she had a break, she would hide somewhere nobody could find her. She had looked for Acchan, but strangely, each time she did so, she would bump into Kenji. So she had just stopped looking for her. Anyway, they could still talk later, no? Right now, she just wanted to hide from him. There was no way she would talk to him. She already had enough just by looking at him, she didn’t want to hear his voice more than needed too.
While she was hiding everywhere, Acchan was having a meeting with none but Kenji himself. She had spotted him and, since she couldn’t find Takamina and have finished her work, she just decided to have a little conversation with her friend. She really did respect him, but what the most important person of her life had told her was always on her mind. She needed to know more about it, not only because of Takamina, but because she also wanted to learn more about Kenji. Was he really the ideal guy he pretended to be? Was he beautiful on the inside too… or was it just a fake personality he gave himself?
She approached him, smiling. Even though she wanted to know about what he had to do with Takamina, she still thought of him as a friend. He had never done anything bad to her, so why would she be upset against him?
“Kenji-san! How are you?”
The actor seemed surprised to see her there, but smiled back. He really liked the great Atsuko Maeda. He knew he would learn a lot about his job by being around her, but he also wanted to know her better just so they could hang out together as friends. He had no bad intentions behind what he was doing. He just wanted to know her better. Okay, he also knew she had been in Minami Takahashi’s group, but it was not the ONLY reason why he had spoke to her. He just couldn’t stand and do nothing when a girl needed help in front of him. Of course… that was now.
He perfectly knew he would have never done anything like this when he was young. He could remember very well everything about his childhood, especially a part of his life he’d rather forget. He could still see, when he thought about it, everything that had happened. He remembered everything he had done to a certain girl named Minami Takahashi. Today, he would never do the same, but when he was young… he made mistakes. He knew what he had done was really cruel, but still wanted to ask forgiveness. The question was… would he get any answer to this?
“Ah, Atsuko-san!” He said happily. “I’m fine, thank. I’ve been working with Takahashi-san all day, so I’m just a bit tired. How about you?”
“Everything is fine.”
She wanted to add something, but didn’t know exactly how she could say it. Would it be better if she didn’t know about it? Takamina would talk to her about it sooner or later, right?
“Want something to drink?” He offered her a bottle of juice.
“Thank you.” Acchan answered.
He was really nice. What problem could Takamina possible have about him?
“So, what did you do? I heard you have a new CM, right? How it’s going?”
Acchan didn’t answer anything. She just drank her drink, waiting for something to happen. She really enjoyed being with him, but today… she could not stop thinking about Takamina.
“I know what you want to ask me.” Kenji said politely. “Did Takahashi-san tell you anything about me?”
“Takamina? No, she didn’t. I just wanted to apologize.” Acchan lied. “It’s quite unusual she rejects someone without taking time to know him… I hope you’re not offended.”
“Ah this?” He laughed. “Don’t worry about it. We’re doing fine with her PV. We’re only working together, I’m not really offended. I wanted to get to know her better and talk about some things, but if she doesn’t want… I guess there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“When you two first met… you said something like “nice to see you again”, remember?” Acchan asked. “Have you met her before?”
Kenji sighed, knowing he couldn’t tell her everything. He felt guilty and did not want Takamina to be in trouble, even after all he did to her.
“I did meet her before.” He said. “I… you know, I’ve made some mistakes, so I guess it is why she doesn’t want to talk to me.”
Acchan frowned. Mistakes? About work or… something else? It couldn’t be… love? Takamina could not have had a relationship with him, could she? After all, she had been in AKB48 and couldn’t date boys! She forced herself to stay calm and breathe. There was no way such things could happen. She could trust Takamina… especially now that she knew they were “officially” together. Love was making her paranoid.
“Takamina is not someone who would stop talking to someone unless it’s really important.” Acchan said as she remembered the Takamina/Hiroko incident. “I’m her best friend… I don’t think your mistakes would make her this way. Have you ever done something to her?”
She insisted about it because she cared about it a lot. She didn’t want her two friends to now like each other. It was… the situation she feared the most. Though she would support Takamina way more than him, but still!
“I…” Kenji hesitated.
He bet Takamina had not told Acchan anything about it, so he didn’t know what to do. He had heard how close these two were, and if he ever wanted a chance to ask forgiveness, he should not mess about their friendship. He wanted to be careful too. He didn’t want Acchan to judge the person he was now because of his past. He didn’t want to be rejected by Acchan because of something he regretted, even though it was really harsh.
“I really respect you.” Acchan smiled nicely. “I would not be angry because of something you’ve done unless it’s really huge, you know? I can help you being friend with her! You two could become really good friends! You’re always laughing and joking! Takamina is exactly the same, except she’s a bit dork.”
“I didn’t do anything to her.” He said. “At least, I didn’t do anything that cannot be forgiven. I’m just waiting to get the chance to talk to her about what happened between us. I know Takahashi-san is a nice girl, there will probably not have a problem if we-”
“Really?” A voice asked, interrupting him, surprising both him and Acchan.
The actress frowned as she saw her manager coming in. She was just having a typical conversation with Kenji… why was Hiroko here too?
“Hiroko-san… nice to meet you again.” Kenji said, bowing, recognizing Acchan’s manager. “What are you doing here?”
“You really think what you did can be easily forgiven?” Hiroko asked, looking at him straight in the eyes, threatening him visually.
Acchan didn’t really understand what was happening. Did Hiroko know about what had happened between them? How come? Why would she know about it? Takamina and Hiroko were not even friends anymore! As for her, she was Takamina’s girlfriend! Why wasn’t she the one aware of what was going on! She couldn’t help feeling really jealous about it, which was kind of justified. After all, Hiroko had been Takamina’s best friend before her, and it seemed that she was still the one knowing more what was going on in Takamina’s life. How come… she wasn’t the one Takamina had told about it? She wanted to be there for her… she wanted to be the one helping her… Why hadn’t Takamina told her a damn thing about it? Did it have a link with their past?
“What are you talking about?” Kenji asked, confused.
Acchan was exactly asking herself the same thing. If it was about their past… what could be so important to make Takamina in war with him? Acchan sighed sadly. She had heard about Takamina’s past already, about what had happened between her and Hiroko, about her sad childhood… but when she had asked her about it, Takamina had just answered it wasn’t important anymore, that she had changed. But was it really true? Had Takamina really forgotten about everything concerning her past? Had Takamina really… banned everything from her current life? Acchan had asked for more information to Takamina… but then again, the singer had just told her it was not important anymore, that past was past… and that Acchan knew a different person from the Takamina she had been before. But the actress wanted to know more about her past. She wanted to know about what was called the “old” Takamina, the one she had never known… the one Hiroko had known better than her.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” She answered. “I don’t think you know it, but I’ve been Takahashi-san’s best friend before.”
So it really had a link with her past… But which? Acchan wanted to know more about it… though it made her sad to think that Hiroko was still more informed than she was. Didn’t Takamina trust her enough to know she would always be there for her? Why hadn’t she told her about Kenji?! Acchan could have helped her!
Kenji frowned as he seemed to realize where the conversation was heading to.
“Before?” He asked.
Hiroko nodded, waiting for him to add something. She also noticed Acchan’s confused look. She didn’t want the actress to witness this serious conversation, but knowing what kind of special relationship she shared with Takamina, she knew Acchan must know about it.
“It’s not what you think…” He started slowly before being interrupting by Hiroko’s angry voice.
“And what exactly do you think I’m thinking about right now?”
Acchan froze at her manager’s expression. She had this icy look the actress knew very well. It was similar to the look she herself had been in front of… when Hiroko had been threatening her before. It was the look saying “you better listen to me if you don’t want to die.”
“I… I don’t know.” He stammered, trying to stay calm. “I can explain everything… if you just give me some time.”
But Hiroko had no intention to let him explain anything. She was more than upset at him. She still had in mind what had happened between her and Takamina, but right now, all she could remember was her old best friend’s painful expression. All she could remember was… that Takamina had wanted to kill herself once because of them.
Takamina always pretended to be stronger than she was. She had always told Hiroko she would become strong and so she could take revenge. But Hiroko knew her better than that. She knew Takamina would never take revenge, not in the way she talked about at least. And once, she had read, by mistake, something she would remember all her life.
Flash BackHiroko was waiting for Takamina to come back home. She had visited her, but her mother had told her to wait because she was gone buying food. So she was just waiting. Takamina’s mother knew Hiroko very well. She knew it was Takamina’s only friend and was really nice with her. She knew her daughter would not be the same without Hiroko by her side, and was thankful for the older girl to take care of her.
Hiroko was wandering around, not wanting to touch anything without her friend’s permission. She accidently bumped into the desk, making a short diary fell on the floor. She took it carefully, looking to see if someone was looking at her, but Takamina was not home already. She sighed and was about to close it when she noticed a word.
...kill...She flinched. Takamina was a nine year old little girl. Why would she write such a thing? And even so… the diary was pink… the word “kill” just didn’t fit AT ALL. Feeling a bit guilty of reading something private, she looked around her and promised she would stop after two sentences.
“Yesterday was worst than ever. Maybe they are right, maybe I should kill myself and stop being a burden for the society.”Hiroko did stop after these two sentences and took a deep breathe. What could she do? Was Takamina’s mother aware of this? Was Takamina really serious while writing this? She apologized to an invisible Takamina and stated to read again.
“I am not needed here. I promise Hiroko-chan I would be strong, but there is no way I can fight them. I told her I would never give up, but there is no way I am able to continue this way… There is no way I have a place here anymore. There is no way I deserve to live anymore…”She was NOT reading this… she was NOT reading this… she was NOT. For God’s sake, Takamina was just an innocent little girl… who obviously had lost her innocence. Why… why was she thinking about killing herself when she had so many things to live? She had a bright future in front of her… how come she had become this way? She heard some noise in the hallway and quickly closed the diary, putting it back to its place. Takamina came into the bedroom a second later, smiling.
“Hiroko!” She said happily, hugging her friend. “I’m glad to see you today!”
Hiroko smiled back, without answering anything.
“Guess what I did this morning! I did a cake with my mom! And we keep a part for you! And…”
And while Takamina was talking about how much fun she had had the same morning, Hiroko just kept looking at her little friend. The date of this entry was… today, this morning. Takamina had written about death… this morning.
The teenage pretended to laugh at one of Takamina’s joke. But inside of her, she couldn’t stop thinking about what she had just read. If Takamina was serious… then all those smiles, all those jokes, all this happiness… were lies. If Takamina had written this seriously… then Hiroko knew her best friend was not as strong as she pretended to be. No… truly, she was just an innocent child. Truly… she was just an innocent little girl who wanted to have a normal life, but who couldn’t because of others. She was just… another victim… another victim Hiroko was definitely going to save.
She sighed. Takamina was incapable to do anything to others… she was too nice. She always kept her feelings inside of her. Sooner or later… she would be destroyed by them. Hiroko stared at her. She didn’t know how to help her friend… if her friend herself was just keeping all inside her heart.
End of Flash BackAnd right now, in front of her, was standing the guy she had hated so much. She had the responsible for Takamina’s depression right in front of her, but couldn’t do anything about it. She hated herself for being so useless. She hated herself… for saving Takamina many years later, when it was probably too late. No matter what the singer said about her past, Hiroko knew her enough to tell that Takamina had still not forgotten about it.
“Do you really think everything will go like you want?” She asked harshly. “I thought Atsuko was right to help you having this job… so I helped her. I’m such a fool sometimes. It took me while to realize that in fact, I have just helped Atsuko bringing the devil here.”
Acchan was stupefied to hear this. Was Hiroko so mad at him? Why?
“What happened?” The actress frowned, staring at them.
It concerned Takamina, she had the right to know it.
“Atsuko… Remember when I told you about Takahashi’s past?” Hiroko asked as the actress nodded. “This guy is responsible for a lot. This guy is the one who threatened Takahashi. He’s the one participating in the “ijime” treatment. He’s the one who betrayed Takahashi for his own sake!”
Seeing that Acchan couldn’t say a thing, her manager added:
“It surprised me Takahashi never told you about it either. She never told me who it was. I only found out a while ago when she told me about his identity. I thought you would have known it before me since you two have a… special relationship, but maybe finally it’s better this way. I told you, even though it’s painful to hear, you do not know Takahashi Minami like I do. At least… you don’t know the person who’s suffering right now.”
Acchan didn’t know if it was because of Kenji, but her manager had suddenly started to talk to her in a heartless way. And what was worst was that… there was a part of truth.
“Can you leave please?” Hiroko added, looking at her. “I want to talk with him about something that doesn’t concern you.”
“Takamina is my friend, I have the right to stay here.” Acchan protested.
“Maybe it’s your friend, but still, you better ask her about it. Until the time when you’ll know the whole story, don’t even think that you know her.”
“I know her!” Acchan said as she remembered really well each previous times she had shared with the small girl.
“You know Takamina, the girl she became.” Hiroko just answered. “You don’t know Takahashi Minami.”
This sentence left Acchan speechless. What… exactly did it mean? But she left the piece… or at least, that was what she made Hiroko believed. She just stayed outside, spying their conversation.
“So, Kenji-san, right?” Hiroko asked as Acchan was gone. “I bet you know everything I’m talking about.”
Kenji didn’t try to avoid the subject, knowing he had no choice.
“I will have a talk with her. Until now, can you just wait before beginning to hate me? I’m not the same.”
“Oh, you’re not the same?” Hiroko laughed ironically. “But it’s not against the actual you that I am angry. It’s against the old you. The child that bullied Takahashi so hard that she even wanted to kill herself!”
Kenji looked away. He really felt regretful about it, about what he had done. No once in is life had he forgotten about it. He had really wanted to be friend with that Takahashi Minami… but he was scared of the leaders of the class. So he had chosen to leave her, like everyone else.
“I am here to ask her-”
“To forgive you? You’re dumb if you think it will be so easy! I don’t know for her, but there’s no way I’m going to let you out of this.”
Kenji seemed to realize that in fact, the woman in front of him was not really scaring. This problem was about Takahashi Minami and himself, not Acchan’s manager!
“Listen…” He said. “I don’t know who you think you are, but I think Takahashi is old enough to decide if she want to hear my explanation or not. It’s not your forgiveness I’m asking, it’s hers! I don’t even see why I would try to talk to you since I don’t even know you! You don’t know me! You don’t know the situation I have been into! You don’t know how hard I tried to convince myself to support Takahashi, but failed! They threatened me too! I may not look like it, but I was a victim too!”
“I don’t know you.” Hiroko said after a minute of silence. “But I know Takahashi. I know how she felt about the whole thing.”
She stopped, like she was day dreaming about her past before starting to speak again.
“I don’t give a damn about if you were threatened or not. But I do care a lot about Takahashi because right now is the only chance I have to do everything I wanted to when we were young. Right now, I want to be there for her about this, because even though we’re not friends anymore, it is something I should have done years ago. It is something I should have done as her friend, but right now, I’m just helping her because I can’t help it.”
“What happened between Takahashi and me is our business. Yes, I admit it, I bullied her. It’s a fact I can’t deny. But I want to talk to her about it. I don’t want her to think I had fun doing this. I don’t want her to hate me. I just want her to give me the chance to explain myself and to apologize.”
“There is no way it is going to happen.” Hiroko growled. “Do you know exactly how much she suffered because of this? I was her best friend, I told you about it. I was the one she told everything. I was the one supporting her when she was crying all the time, when she felt she was useless and wanted to kill herself. I don’t care if you changed or not. I don’t care about your stupid apologizes… the only thing I can think about when I talk to you is my old friend’s sadness. There is no way you are going to be forgiven so easily. “
Kenji seemed to be about to give up, but didn’t.
“Stop talking to me like you were there. If you wanted to protect her so bad, why didn’t you do it before? Why didn’t you come at our school to protect her?”
“You don’t listen, do you? I told you… I am doing something now because I didn’t do anything in the past. Don’t get me wrong, I hate you. But I hate myself too for not being able to do something before. I know… that even if she pretends the opposite, Takahashi is still moved when she thinks about the past. I bet Takahashi still had all her feelings in her heart, can you even imagine how much pain it means?! Can you even think about how hard she tries to ignore her sorrow… while in fact it’s taking the entire place in her mind? She’s killing herself by not letting these feelings go…”
There was a silent confrontation as they just stared at the other. Hiroko wanted to punch his face, but hold herself. What she had to fight was not only him… it was the pain itself.
“I made mistakes.” He finally said. “I don’t know what else I can do than apologizing.”
Hiroko seemed to think about his sentence for a minute when she finally opened her mouth.
“Maybe you should just disappear from her life. I don’t know what you expected when you decided to pop out in her life… but just know the only thing you bring back with you was pain.”
There was a deadly silence. Kenji wanted to add something, but he couldn’t deny this fact. His first goal had been to apologize, but he didn’t expect Takahashi’s bodyguard to be on his way. He was a nice guy… with, unfortunately for him, a dark past.
“Are you still Takahashi’s best friend?” He asked, knowing he would hit a weak point.
Hiroko flinched at the question. He sure got a point here.
“No, I already told you.” She admitted. “But I was before.”
“You should stop being involved in this situation if you are not her friend anymore. I bet there’s a good reason why a “best friend” is not one anymore, so stop it. I’m sure Takahashi would not be really happy to know you’re trying to resolve her own problem.”
“And I bet she wouldn’t be happy to know you’re back, but I guess it’s already done. But you’re right, I should not be involved in this situation.”
Hiroko knew Kenji was good to read other’s mind. She could feel it because she herself was this way. She knew what Kenji’s next question was going to be even before he asked it. And she had already prepared her answer. She hated being so weak about herself. She hated being so… honest with this guy she hated, but she had no choice. She would tell him the truth… then she would make sure to take revenge. She thought about everything she had done in her life until now. She had been a good child until this event with her mother. She had had a positive mind until everything… She had threatened Maeda Atsuko before realizing she was wrong. And today, what was she doing? She was still talking about hatred, about pain, about taking revenge. How come she was this way, always negative? After being separate from Takamina, she had never been herself again. She had avoided everything about love. She had lived in her own world… a world full of pain and hatred.
“You missed being her friend, right?” Kenji asked. “Like me, there are some events that you would like to erase from your memories, that you wish they had never happened.”
“So what?” She said. “Yes, I missed being her friend. What I’m doing right now, I’m doing it because I want to help her surpassing everything… and because I know this is the only thing I can do for her now. We will never be friends again. Nothing will ever come back like before, so at least, I’m doing what I should have done as her friend when we were young. Be careful, I will not leave you alone so easily.”
Kenji fixed her leaving the room. He had a bad feeling. This Hiroko… seemed to be really serious about it, and it kind of scared him.
***
Acchan hid as Hiroko left the room. She had heard everything. She couldn’t believe the nice Kenji… had been such a jerk. She understood now why Takamina hated him so much. But what she couldn’t understand was… why hadn’t Takamina told her about it? They were dating, right? She should be the one supporting Takamina all the time, not Hiroko! She was jealous… jealous because even though Hiroko and Takamina were not friends anymore, there were still things the small girl would rather tell her manager than her. Jealousy…
“Takamina…” She whispered, thinking about how much she wanted to help her.
It was such a dilemma. Should she reject Kenji? But he seemed so honest, talking about apologizing and so on… Should she talk about it to Takamina even though she wasn’t linked to this situation? She was sad about it. She wondered… if it was normal that, after so much time, Takamina still didn’t want her to know more about her past. She wondered… if it was a proper way to start a relationship, jealousy and sadness…
And most of all, she couldn’t get out of her head Hiroko’s sentence.
“You know Takamina, the girl she became. You don’t know Takahashi Minami.”What was she supposed to answer to this…
Did she really love… Takamina? Takamina was only a nickname the girl had had during AKB48. It was the name given to an idol, a girl who had fans and who was in AKB48. It was… what Takahashi had become when she had entered into AKB48. But truly, what did Acchan know about the real girl, Minami? What did Acchan know about her past, about her life?
The person she loved… was it Takamina… or Minami? Weren’t they… the same person?
***
The doorbell rang. Takamina, half sleeping, went to answer to the door. It was soon, eight o’clock pm, but she had been sleeping already. Maybe it was because of this boost of feelings she had had recently, but in any case, she was dead tired. Soon would be her birthday… 4月8日. 48. The number that meant everything to her. She had decided to sleep soon tonight so she would be healthy tomorrow, but it seemed that it wouldn’t go this way.
She sighed. She really wanted to sleep… because there was a lot going on right now. The sudden return of Kenji had, of course, a huge role in her mood right now.
“Yes?” She yawned.
She blinked at the person who stood in front of her. Her… again. Takamina had the strange feeling she was seeing her more recently than during the past five years.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you tonight.”
Wait… how did Hiroko know where she lived?
“I asked Atsuko for your address.” Hiroko answered to the silent question.
“And she accepted to give it to you?” Takamina answered, sceptic.
“I insisted.” Hiroko just answered. “Can I come in?”
Takamina nodded and let her in, even though she just wanted to slap the door in the woman’s face. She wanted to sleep, not to have a serious conversation… especially when she knew what the subject would be.
“So… it’s unexpected to see you here.” Takamina started hesitantly.
Not only was it unexpected, but Hiroko had also a big bag beside her.
“What is this?” Takamina asked, frowning.
She could feel some tension around them, but at least, they could endure each other. They were neither friends nor enemies, which was already kind of a miracle, especially when you think that, not even one year ago, Hiroko was ready to kill Takamina. And especially that, not even one month ago, they had had a fight about Takamina’s relationship with Acchan. But it seemed that it would not be the subject of the conversation tonight.
“A gift.” Hiroko just said, taking out… a pillow.
Takamina frowned. What. The. Fuck.
“Listen…” Takamina hesitated. “I know you hate me… but if you want to kill me with this pillow… I don’t think it will work.”
Hiroko had a mini smile on her face.
“I’m not here to kill you, don’t worry. I wanted… to talk.”
Takamina looked away. She couldn’t believe she was going to talk with her old friend.
“What do you want?” Takamina sighed.
“I want to talk about… our past.”
About their past? About… what exactly from their past?
“This is not what it looks like.” Hiroko sighed, thinking about the tragic end of their friendship. “I’m here to talk about him.”
Takamina froze, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to remember… she didn’t want to think about it… she didn’t want to talk about it… She could feel it like it had been yesterday… loneliness.
“I’m fine.” Takamina said. “I will only work with him and everything will be fine.”
Hiroko smiled nicely and sat by her side, giving her the pillow.
“I know you better than that, you know.” She said. “I’m not here because I want to be your friend. I’m not here to take a revenge for what happened between us. In fact, I’m not here because I want it. I’m here… because of the past.”
Takamina was a bit confused. Here because of the past? Seriously, if she didn’t want to be here… why was she in front of her right now?
“I’m here because I wanted to do something I should have done before, as your friend. I know we won’t ever be friend again… and I think I understand the reason why. Anyway, nothing would ever be the same again. It’s been too much time. But seriously, I was your best friend before and I’ve never truly helped you about all the pain you had in your heart. I can tell, just by looking at you now, that you still have this pain.”
Takamina shook her head.
“I’m not the same. I’m stronger.”
“I know, you changed. But you still are sad when you think about the whole thing. You never really… forget your past. You’re still troubled about it… and I think I know why. There are… some things that can never be forgotten, no matter how strong is a person.”
Takamina stared at the pillow, not really understanding its role.
“Listen, Hiroko… the only thing you can do for me now is to leave me alone. I don’t need you in my life.”
Even though it hurt Acchan’s manager to hear it, she just nodded.
“I know. But I’m here anyway. Look at you today, you’re not the same. You’re pretending nothing ever happened in your past… but you still suffer from it. And by suffering secretly, it makes your entourage suffering too. Acchan doesn’t understand anything about what happened between and Kenji and she feels useless about it. Your own pain… had consequences on everyone. I know now… you never, not even one day, stopped thinking about your past. Somehow… it stops you to move on in life.”
Takamina was tired of Hiroko. The woman was getting more in her life and it pissed her off. Nevertheless, she had to admit, this time, that she was right. She was still trapped in the past, whatever she might tell the others. She had never forgiven the others or herself about her past. Each time she thought about it, it opened a new bound.
“Hit it.”
Takamina frowned.
“What?”
“The pillow, hit it.” Hiroko said. “You have your childhood engraves inside your heart. You never set you free from it. You never answered to anything those children did to you because you couldn’t. Today, you’re still talking about taking revenge, but you know pretty well that there is no way you will ever hit someone. The reason why you’re still trapped in the past… is because you never set you free from it. You never set your feelings free.”
“I don’t see what hitting a pillow has to do with it.”
“Kick it, punch it, destroy it.” Hiroko repeated. “Release all your feelings tonight. I don’t know how you feel. Nobody does. You are the one who endured it during all that time, never taking time to release those feelings. Today, you’re still thinking about it and torturing yourself because of this. You feel guilty and you wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Atsuko, about what happened. I may not know the real Takahashi, but I know you well enough to tell you’re still as scared and frustrated as before. Your angriness has never left you.”
“Taking revenge is not the solution.”
“See? This is the reason why you can’t go on.” Hiroko sighed. “You know you would never hit anybody, so you keep your feelings inside you. But believe me… don’t hold yourself anymore. Kenji-san… will not suddenly disappear tomorrow. You have to surpass your past… if you want to be happy later. This is what I’ve learned not a long time ago. I, too, was living with my past as my shadow. It was blinding me… and it is only recently that I’ve started to understand it was time to… let it go.”
The singer didn’t answer, wondering since when Hiroko cared so much about her.
“You have to release the pain.” Hiroko insisted. “I know you’re suffering. I can see it in your eyes right now. You’re holding yourself. Right now, you want to kill this guy, don’t you? If I’m not mistaken… you want me to leave too, right? But you can’t say it. You can’t do it. You are stronger, it’s a fact… but you’re not able to surpass your childhood.”
“Why do you do that to me?” Takamina managed to say with difficulty.
Hiroko hesitated before answering. She had wanted to keep a strong reputation in front of Takamina, but she guessed she didn’t have the choice. She, too, wanted to forget about the past, but in order to do it, she had to stop feeling guilty about the fact that she had been useless before. She was not doing it only for Takamina… she was also doing it for herself.
“I want to forget.” Hiroko said. “I want to forget everything. I wish nothing had happened. But you know… I know you’re hiding your pain everyday. I know you’re unable to forget about it. I know… how not being able to forget something can ruin one’s life. No matter what you might say, I know it. I want to be able to forgive myself to not have been able to help you more than I did when we were young. Today… I want to help you to finally release your pain. I know it seemed stupid from me… but think about it… think about everything you’ve been through… think about each time you wanted to take revenge but couldn’t… Think about it… and hit this pillow.”
Takamina was speechless in front of her old friend. She was right. She had never forgotten about anything. All her pain… was still inside her. And if it wasn’t for Hiroko, she would have continued killing herself slowly because of this dark past.
“I should have said that when we were still friends…” Hiroko said. “But back then, I didn’t know how it was to feel pain everyday because of someone. I didn’t know how it felt to be rejected by the others… I didn’t know anything of this, because I was already famous because of my mother. I want you… to stop thinking about your past. Because even you pretend to be strong… if you can’t face it, you won’t be able to live.”
Hatred… pain… sadness… sorrow… ijime.
Confusion… anxiety… fear… confession… love.
“Don’t you hate me?” Takamina whispered.
“I do…” Hiroko hesitated. “But when you told me it was Kenji-san the responsible… I thought about how sad you were each time I saw you… and somehow, I can’t help helping you right now. It’s a way for me… to catch up with the past.”
Remember how much you hated them…
Remember how much you wanted them to die…
Remember each night you spent awake, crying alone…
Remember… remember as much as you can… each time you thought about killing yourself…
“Thank…” Takamina said as she realized how much she had inside of her.
She stared at the pillow. She felt too stupid to hit it though.
“Don’t thank me… Also… I wanted to ask you something.” Hiroko said.
“What?”
“Forgive me… for everything I did.”
There was no answer. Takamina didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. Takamina had already forgiven Hiroko for what she had done to her and Acchan. And it was the same for Hiroko, who had forgiven Takamina for the rejection. They would never be friends again. They would never laugh as they used to do when they were together. They would never encourage each other. They would never be able to have a normal conversation again… but at least… it was their ultimate chance to forget about the past… and to look forward… and they were seizing it.
“I feel like I finally set me free from my childhood.” Hiroko sighed loudly, ready to leave Takamina’s house.
“Why… are you talking like if childhood was a prison?” Takamina asked.
She had noticed it a few times during their short conversation. Hiroko was talking about her being free from childhood. Sometimes… Takamina still felt like Hiroko was the most mature of them. She was still like an older sister, helping her to find answer to her questions.
“My mother once told me something about it. Childhood is what you rely on all your life. It is a step of our life that we have on our mind all the time. Sometimes, it’s positive and it helps us. And others, it’s not and stops us from going on. Sometimes… childhood unable you to move on because we regret something and we are stuck with it forever. No matter how you look at it, it’s your childhood who made you becoming the person you are today. And some people can’t move on because of this. These person… they have to forget about their past to look at the future. If they can’t forget… then they can’t move on.”
She stopped, looked into Takamina’s eyes and said very clearly:
“Childhood is a knife stuck in the throat, a burden you keep with you during all your life if it’s negative. You don’t take it out easily. If words and will can take it out from your throat, well it’s perfect for you. ONLY if it’s taken out, you can go on in life and become an adult. But sometimes, it is not easy to express and release our feelings. Think about it. It took me a long time to take it out from my throat.” Hiroko said wisely. “And now, my childhood is only the shadow of the past.”
She left the house, without adding anything else. To her, what she wanted to do was done. She wanted to help Takamina to move on, to be able to really make peace with her past… but it was all she could do now. Takamina stood immobile, the pillow by her side. Everything Hiroko had said… was true. Even though she had been strong enough to confess to Acchan, she had not been strong enough to tell her about Kenji’s real identity. She felt useless. If she didn’t want others to suffer because of her… she had to start moving on first. Then… the others would follow her to the great way.
She stared at the pillow. HIT IT. She couldn’t. She couldn’t even hit a poor pillow. Her past… haunted her day and night before… why couldn’t she release her feelings now? She thought about everything she had endured until now… the humiliations… the wound… everything… Without saying a word, she punched it slightly. Without breathing, she punched it a second time… and a third… and fourth… and without realizing it, she couldn’t stop anymore. All her pain… was leaving her body. She pictured everyone from her class before… and hit the pillow hard. Again… again…. Again… she never stopped.
She hated them… she wanted them to disappear… she wanted to kill herself… she wanted to kill them… she wanted to leave everything behind… she wanted to be alone… she hated them.
Without controlling anything, Takamina felt salt water falling down her cheeks. She couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stop… she couldn’t… forget it. Those punch she had wanted to give the others… the hatred she had toward them…
She sobbed.
She cried.
She continued punching the pillow with all her strength.
She thought about her past, her childhood… her dad.
She breathed.
She screamed.
She released everything, setting herself free from her own body.
“Childhood is a knife stuck in the throat. You don’t take it out easily.”TBCEnd Note:So… I don’t know how you guys enjoyed reading this chapter, but I was thinking of putting an end to the whole Takamina/Hiroko problem soon, because seriously I think it’s the best time now that Kenji is back in Takamina’s life.
The last sentence, “Childhood is a knife stuck in the throat” is a translation from French’s sentence: “L’enfance est un couteau planté dans la gorge”.
I thought it illustrated really well the situation, since Takamina is kind of stuck in the past, mostly because of events that happened during her childhood. It stops her to truly become the adult she wants to be. What I meant is that it is really hard to forget/forgive about sad things that happened to us, especially during childhood since this is the part of our life that makes us the way we are now. If you had a sad childhood, well you won’t act the same as someone who had the perfect life. Difficulties related to childhood can follow and handicap us until we decide to surpass them. I don’t know if it is clear enough, but I hope you understand me… Or maybe you just think I’m weird… In any case, I tried to translate it, because I think this is the perfect sentence to resume everything. OH GOD I HOPE THE TRANSLATION IS GOOD ENOUGH
End Note 2: As you can see, I decided to create a short thing about their nicknames. I don’t know if I write it well in the text. What I wanted to say was that it is not because we know someone’s nickname that we know the person. “Takamina” is the nickname of “Takahashi Minami”, and the way her fans mostly call her. But in daily life, she is just Minami, a girl we probably don’t know everything about. Same for Acchan. She is “Atsuko” before being “Acchan”. And I wanted to do something about it.
Acchan doesn’t know anything about her friend when Takamina was only “Takahashi Minami”, means during her childhood. When Takamina was young, she was known as Minami, not Takamina, and at that time, she was friend with Hiroko only. Acchan knows Takamina because they were together in AKB48, but still the person she knows in AKB48 may not be the same as the person Takamina was BEFORE entering the group. So this is why I said “Takamina” and “Takahashi Minami” may not be the same person.
As for Takamina, she thinks she knows Acchan enough to call her “Atsuko”, her real name, means that Takamina actually thinks she knows the REAL person behind this nickname. She wants to stop calling her “Acchan”, because she knows that “Acchan” is not exactly the same person as “Atsuko”. “Atsuko” is the name she uses in private, with her closest friend, while “Acchan” is used by everyone. Don’t you think there’s a difference between them?
It’s like calling me “Bou-J525” or by my real name. Or it's like I call you by your nickname or your real name. There’s a difference to me.
….. I hope you guys know what I mean because if not… I would feel stupid.
WOOOOOOH I'M DONE! Guys... I'm beginning to be tired of writing
So um.... well don't be surprised if the "The End" suddenly pop out from out of nowhere someday
I know... this needs to happen right after Atsumina appears...
*Hide forever*
Topic: Pink Vitriol (AtsuMina - COMPLETED) + Sequel - CHAPTER 4 (3/10/2012) (Read 123463 times)