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Author Topic: ~Akogare MY LOVE~  (Read 1194 times)

Offline SukiPanda

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~Akogare MY LOVE~
« on: November 05, 2010, 02:53:54 AM »
This is my second story and since I'm still a joshiko sei (a high school girl) my vocabulary and grammar may......suck  :lol:

I tried my hardest to sound all educated and stuff but i may have made some mistakes and if i did feel free to correct me in your comments. I would also appreciate some constructive criticism  :oops: . So please enjoy.  :D

~Akogare MY LOVE~

Chapter One
    『Please be careful. If you get in their way those guys won't hesitate to-』The girl laid a slim, white finger on her friend's lips. The silenced girl straightened up as much as she was allowed in the tiny crawlspace they used as a hiding place from the "bad people".
    『I know. But she's my sister and I have to rescue her. I want you to stay here. 』
    『But I can't just let you-』She slapped her hand over her friends mouth, silencing her again. They listened to the boots crunching the twigs and leaves around the crawlspace and the blades of the helicopter overhead.
    『Stay. Please. I'll be back as soon as possible. I'm going to bring her back. 』She crawled up to the entrance and peered out. 『Captain?』The girl still crouched at the bottom of the hole looked up. 『You know me. You know how tough I am. I'll pull through completely untouched, just wait. 』She smiled. Captain smiled weakly back at her. 『I'll bring her back. 』Was the last thing she said before she crawled out into the open. Captain saw her feet take a couple of steps forward, then to the left, and then to right like she didn't know where to go. She crawled up after her friend to give her directions but as soon as she reached the top, her friend took off.
    『Wait! Megumi!』Captain clumsily pulled herself out of the rabbit-hole. Megumi kept running. 『I..... I love you....』She choked out before letting the hot tears roll down her cheeks as she watched Megumi run off into the darkness.
    'Mabushii, itoshii, yake ni, kuyashii....' Saki twisted in her bed, pulling the blankets over her head shielding herself from the annoyingly loud alarm clock. She cast a sleep deprived glare at the clock situated on her nightstand. She flipped onto her back and took a deep breath at the unbelievable dream she just had. ' Natsu nara jiriri kiteru....' She turned the alarm off and threw her legs over the side of her bed. She glanced over at the calendar hung up on the wall and above her desk to check the date.

    『September 15.』She sighed, 『Every year.』And she dragged herself to the bathroom.
    『Hey, Captain!』Maasa plopped into her desk next to her distressed friend. She pulled her long, black hair through an elastic band and swiped it onto her shoulder.

    『Oh no, which one?』Saki faced her friend for a few seconds and attempted to speak but choked on her first word. She quickly turned back to the window and tried to hold back her tears.
    『Saki, why did you come to school today?』Chinami sped overt Saki's desk with Kirino Satoshi, the only male in their small group of friends, tryingto keep up with his long-legged friend.
    『Do you need to go to the nurses office?』Satoshi asked in his sweet, lullaby voice. The one he uses to steal girls' hearts. Saki shook her head vigorously. 『Can you tell me which dream you had?』She slowly turned her head to face him and he brushed the hair out of her eyes. They were slightly red and her cheeks were all pink and puffy.
    『Me...Me...Megumi. I'm so sorry Megu! I shouldn't have let you go alone! It's all my fault! It's my fault that you''re....』,Saki broke down in Maasa's arms.  She and Chinami rubbed her back and pat her head to calm her down.
    『No it's not and you know this, Saki. You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened. 』Maasa hugged her tightly and rubbed her back some more.
    『It's sick that those guys would even consider shooting a nine year-old let alone actually going through with it. 』Chinami whispered to Satoshi who nodded in agreement. Saki sobbed even harder into Maasa's chest. 『Ah! I'm sorry, Captain! I didn't think you'd hear me. Kiri-chan, can you run to the bathroom and get some tissues?』He nodded and quickly bounded out of the classroom.
    『Oh my! It must be the 15th. The leaky faucet is acting up again. 』a group of flashily dressed girls walked up to Saki's desk laughing. Their leader, who everyone respectfully called Hime, made another snarky remark to Saki, upsetting her even more.
    『Hey! How many times do I have to remind you not to call her that!? I'm not gonna have to blacken your eye, will I? 』, Maasa brought her fists up and positioned herself in front of Hime.
    『You know you can't afford another strike Suudou. So why don't you just sit back down.  』The quartet's sub-leader, Shibuya, poked Maasa's shoulder with a long, bony finger. Maasa's fists clenched as she sat back in her desk and she gingerly patted Saki, who seemed to have calmed down a bit, on the back.
    『Listen Reina, just because Maasa can't touch you doesn't mean that I won't do anything to protect my friend. And if you know what's good for you, you wouldn't poke my friend. 』, Chinami jammed her long, slender finger in Reina's shoulder while putting emphasis on the last three words of her threat. Reina pushed Chinami away from her and Chinami shoved her in return.
    『My name is Shibuya!』Reina barked as she shoved Chii back.
    『Does it look like I care. 』
    『Just sit your scrawny ass down, Tokunaga!』Hime, who's real name was Miki though no one dared called her that, pushed Chinami into her desk, slamming her into the corner of the desk before she landed into the seat. Miki grabbed Saki by her hair and yanked her away from Maasa's arms. 『And you. You need to just forget about Tsugunaga or Murama, Murakami whatever her name is, 'cuz I'm sick of hearing your pathetic crying every year. Got it?』
    Saki stood up, almost surprising Hime. She took a deep breath and sealed her fate.『IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT MOMO'S DEAD IN THE FIRST PLACE !!』Miki's eyes burned holes through Saki's head. The class went silent within seconds as everyone anticipated a short brawl between the girls. Miki shoved Saki into the window beside her desk and grabbed a handful of the front of Saki's seifuku.
    『Did you enjoy your last words, Shimizu? 'Cuz after I'm through with you, I think it'll be pretty hard to talk without TEETH!!!』She growled. Saki whimpered a bit. Miki brought her fist back and swung at the smaller girl with all her power. Saki let out a little yelp as she accepted her punishment. All of a sudden, Saki felt the weight of the yankii's body lift off of her all at once. She opened her eyes to see a girl of her stature, maybe even smaller, forcing the Queen Yankii face-forward against the classroom window. Reina came at the girl full force, ready to pounce but the she kicked her foot back and knocked the scrawny girl over a desk.
     『Look, I'm a nice person most of the time but when it comes to people like you and Queen Anorexic over there, I have to open a can of whup-ass and I don't like doing that. 』Miki kicked and struggled against the petite girl, but she had a strong grip on her. She twisted her arm back further causing Miki to let out a pain-filled scream. 『If I ever hear about you picking on anyone, especially her,』,she released one hand off of her captive and pointed at Saki, 『I will have to dislocate all of your joints. Got that!?』Miki nodded and the girl released her grip on her. Miki ordered her embarrassed groupmates to follow her out. They quickly stumbled together and gathered around her like a pack of sheep and they stormed out of the room.
    『Why did you just save me?』Saki asked her savior cautiously, in case she was still in the fighting mood.
    『Did you not hear me just now? I don't like bullies.』She popped her hip out and tilted her head. Her light -brown baby curls playfully bounced to the side almost tangling themselves with the two red ribbons tied neatly on each side of her head. The sun shone brightly through the window making her pearl-colored skin sparkle. She smiled, showing Saki her unusually deep dimples that were placed perfectly in the middle of her smooth, round, slightly chubby cheeks. Her large, hazel-green puppy-dog eyes glimmered in the sunlight and smiled along with her. 『What's your name?』
    『You save me and you don't know my name?』
    『Would you rather be bleeding internally, crying on a hospital bed?』Saki quickly shook her head and the girl laughed. Saki stood up and stuck her hand out.
    『I'm Shimizu Saki. First-year college student. I see you're wearing the high-school uniform. What are you doing on the college floor? The high-school level is downstairs.』The girl took Saki's hand.
    『You would be correct about the uniform. I only wear it because of the school age requirement. I'm supposed to be in my second year of high school but I skipped a few grades when I was younger, so now I'm in my first year of college. I feel so uncomfortable sometimes seeing that most of my peers are like 3 years older than me, but I try my best to make friends.』She smiled shyly, exposing her dimples again.

    『And I doubt anyone's going to come near me after what I just did.』Her shy smile quickly turned into a pout.
    『Speaking of, where did you learn to fight like that?』Saki stepped closer to the adorable 15 year-old.
    She blushed a little,『Well, I kind of had to learn to defend myself from the people who wanted to hurt me. See, they didn't like me because I was........different from the rest of them.』Her eyes watered up slightly and she put on a sad smile.
    『I don't understand how someone can't like you. You're so-』Saki blushed as she met her the girl's hypnotizing eyes. 『n-nice. You seem very nice.』She managed to studder out.
    『There's more to me than you think, Saki. I may be calm right now, but when I get comfortable, that is if I get comfortable, I can get slightly hyperactive. I can't help it though, it's just the way I am.』
     『And there's nothing wrong with that.』Saki placed her hand on her new aquaintance's shoulder, 『Tell you what, if you don't make any new friends in these next two days, feel free to hang out with my group.  Okay?』She nodded.
    『Un~. Oh, where are my manners. I've told you my whole life story and I haven't even told you my name. I'm Mirai.』
    『Like "mirai" the word? That's cute. But what's your surname-』
     『You can just call me Mii-tan though, everyone does anyway.』Mirai had completely ignored her question but Saki dismissed it because she was new and assumed that she was nervous.
    『Okay then Mii-tan, welcome to Warai Acadamy.』
« Last Edit: November 05, 2010, 03:00:25 AM by SukiPanda »

Avi made by yours truly
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Domo arigatou gozaimasu

Offline kuro_808

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Re: ~Akogare MY LOVE~
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2010, 04:10:56 AM »
You finally did it!

I like the story so far, Captain centric fic, I like what you used in your fic, so keep up the work
Random Thought:


R.I.P. Jab!  Dad/friend

Offline oddball

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Re: ~Akogare MY LOVE~
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2010, 01:31:43 PM »
Good start to this story!!

Man megumi was shot when she was 9!!! no wonder Saki is all upset about it, especially as she loved her

Seems like a rough school thay she is in now, even though she was getting bullied, Saki and her friends didn't seem like wimps either, But all this Yankiiness and no Mya?....

Hmm Mirai seems intresting, I wonder if thatr is her real name or is a a different name like Miki and Reina were using, I definatly get the feeling that there is something in her past that she does not want to talk about

Offline SukiPanda

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Re: ~Akogare MY LOVE~
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2010, 06:21:56 PM »
@kuro Yup! I finally got the beginning right. So I was like "why not" :P

@oddball don't worry Miya is coming but she's not how you think she'll be  :) and about Mirai....... you're on the right track  :P

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Domo arigatou gozaimasu

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