Rndm: i heard it was Mama Ishikawa chasing Rika with a chicken that caused it. But a cursory research into her hometown left *me* with ornithophobia- they've got jungle crows- JUNGLE. CROWS. those things are huge mean mothers, especially the urban ones.
Kuro: You know, I wanted to. But it would've been too crackish to have explained that Miki was in her pigeon suit. Besides, the timelime of Tengu!Yossie and Hato!"popo"Mikitty didn't match up.
Ropy: here we go, champ. now i can rest in peace.
Eight pages! I don't think that is going badly at all! No story you say, but it will connect at some point, somehow and the words will become story, you'll see. But well, I'm ok with story limbs too. I don't mind the gore, because if all the limbs are this good I'll be very happy
And gore you shall have. It may not be what you expect, though. I trashed a lot of drama, I figure what with the recent graduations , we need some fluff and crack to balance the universe.
Odd: i think the experience left an indelible mark so indelible that Rika's phobia became Yossie's phobia, long after Rika moved past it. -----
Character Study #7: Ishikawa Rika, various graduationsExhausted, overwhelmed and overstimulated from the concert, crying was a good release. Being hugged by Nakazawa-san felt really good, and if she had to admit it; she cried only because everyone else was. She wondered if every graduation was going to be like this.
Nakazawa-san had called it a very perverse sort of fan-service.
So when they shoved the camera into her face during Maki’s graduation, only the need to keep her idol façade intact reined in the worst of the tears.
The entire trip back to the hotel, she had a death grip on Yossie’s hand and didn’t let go until they got back to their shared room. Without a word, she made a beeline for the shower and stayed there for a long time.
Two hours later, Yossie went to look for Kei-chan, who was at the hotel bar with Nakazawa-san. They found Rika sobbing into a towel, curled up by the sink.
“Ishikawa?” Yasuda reached out for the crying girl, concern coloring her features. Yossie hugged the frame of the bathroom door awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
Yasuda held her, making shushing noises, “Yoshi yosh, Rika-chan. Why’re you crying?”
“I… I don’t” Rika gasped, in between sobs, “I don’t know why I can’t stop crying!” She began to hyperventilate as she spoke and immediately felt Yossie press her inhaler into her hands. As Rika regained her equilibrium, breathing slowly, Yasuda patted her gently on her back while Yossie fidgeted around with a bottle of water. The three of them crouched in a loose huddle, silent, save for little gasping sobs which were gradually slowing down.
“I know why,” Nakazawa said suddenly from her perch at the door. “Come on. Wash your face, Rika-chan. Yossie, go get Gocchin and then let’s go to my room.”
Contemplating Mortality. That’s what Nakazawa-san called it that night, amongst a whole bunch of things. It made sense then, but the next day, between battling a headache caused by her crying jag, further compounded by the hangover and trying not to throw up, she decided that bit of philosophical discourse was best left for consideration another day.
And the day came, in the form of her mentor’s graduation.
“When we cry at funerals, we always cry for ourselves. We’re sad because we miss them, our empathy and pain comes from us projecting ourselves into the lives of the deceased and their family. That, is contemplating mortality.”
~ Nakazawa Yuuko, Drunk Philosopher
She didn’t just cry for herself at Kei-chan’s graduation. She cried with her mentor, for the painful brevity of the shooting star that was Yasuda Kei, the Morning Musume. She cried for Kei-chan’s feeling of loss and her friend’s fear of the nothingness beyond. Most of all, she cried because she would miss the warm support and gentle kindness that Kei-chan embodied.
The roles were reversed, and it was Rika who found Yasuda alone in an unused washroom on the far end of the service corridors backstage.
This time, Rika was a lot more mindful of her alcohol tolerance level.
“Life is like beer. It’s served exciting and bubbly and goes down smooth cold, but the longer you let it sit out it just gets flat. That’s when they graduate you. Then the beer just turns bitter.”
~ Nakazawa Yuuko, Drunk Philosopher
Sober and slightly more mature, Rika could see it better- sometimes, the ever-wise Nakazawa-nee-san was just a drunkard. Rika had kept to herself during that after-party- she was the youngest one there amongst her sempai from the first and second generation.
When Abe-san announced suddenly that she was next to graduate, Nakazawa-san had burst out laughing, ordered another two rounds and demanded for chicken breasts. Sometime after the fifth round of drinks, Nakazawa-san unravelled into a crying wreck and clutched Abe-san to her, swearing sisterly love and fealty.
She didn’t know if it was that fifth beer, but Rika got very jealous of the bonds her seniors had. She thought of the dynamics amongst her own Yonkie. It really was a dysfunctional family unit of sorts- the emotionally unavailable Tou-san, an insecure Kaa-san, and the secretive self-absorbed adolescents. She told Kei-chan all of this in a torrent of near incoherent wailing. Yasuda had regarded her with a strange look of pride and assured her that they’d all grow out of it in time.
“In the meantime, you just have to look out for each other as best as you can.” Kei-chan had said gently.
So when it was time to see Nono and Aibon go, Rika manned up. She held them all together when they got depressed and pulled them up on their shit when they got unruly. The terror twins were a real study in bipolar behaviour the last few weeks leading up to the concert.
Heartbreaking as it was to part, their graduation actually got them closer together. Yossie was more open to her than ever before and they actually had their first mature conversation about their feelings and aspirations, their hopes and fears.
Of course, it could’ve just been the drinks talking.
“Pretty maidens all lined up in a row- then management takes a gun and shoots them one-by-one.”
~ Nakazawa Yuuko, Drunk
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Rika genuinely thought she’d toughened up by then, grown up and matured. So the emotions she’d felt when Kaorin announced her graduation took her by surprise. It was like some sort of regression to newbiehood- she had all but attached herself to Kaori like a barnacle whenever she could. It had been awhile since Kaori had called her Negative, but when she did after rehearsal one day, the tears came for the both of them like a blessed release.
By the time graduation rolled around, Rika kept it all together enough for the three of them- herself, Kaorin and Yossie, who had regressed somewhat by being more withdrawn than usual. Rika had to drag her along to dinner with Kaori the week after their (ex) leader’s graduation.
They had a good time at dinner, which inevitably led to drinks, which naturally, led to Nakazawa-san. So in keeping with tradition, Rika decided there was no time like the present to announce her own impending graduation. And by announce, it meant to tell Yossie, since everyone else at the table knew already.
Yossie took it pretty well considering the circumstances, being that she was drunk. This time, Yossie was the one caught in a headlock by Nakazawa and indiscriminately petted.
Rika stayed over at Yossie’s that night- her hostess spent half an hour sitting on the floor in a pile of her entire wardrobe, sifting through clothes to find Rika something to wear, mumbling “I swear its here somewhere” the entire time. Only when Rika had forcibly dragged her into bed and held her down, did Yossie settle down in deep slumber. Rika had a good time that night going through Yossie’s wardrobe, folding each article of clothing neatly and recalling the times she’d seen Yossie in them.
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In a way, she was glad Yaguttsuan- left. Maybe not the way she did, but just in that nick of time to be under the leadership of Yossie, and it meant so much more for her doukie mate to pass her the bouquet. They had made a pact not to cry- it wasn’t the end, after all- so Yossie had given her an odd anecdote as a graduation message and Rika decided that she wouldn't have had it any other way.
Strange, Rika couldn’t quite put her finger on it. It wasn’t quite- sorrow, but she actually experienced overwhelming affection for each of her juniors, and wondered if this was what Kaorin felt. She finally became that mirror to reflect someone else’s mortality- as one by one of her groupmates lined up to wish her well.
A sudden flash of memory came to Rika- her very first concert tour and Iichi Sayaka’s graduation ceremony. The symmetry of the entire event made her smile to see the Rokkies line up and stumble through their messages in tears.
After the concert, Yossie told her the best part of the entire night was being able to see her framed in a backdrop of darkness lit only by pink glowsticks. Sugoi niau, was what Yossie had said with a big grin and a cheesy thumbs up, which made her laugh through the tears.
Which was why, during Yossie’s own graduation, Rika had snuck to back of the stage in a dark hoodie to get a better view of her friend. She peered through the hidden areas behind the set and saw Yossie moving into the chanting crowd surrounded by white glowsticks. It was the most beautiful thing Rika had ever seen.
As she told Yossie this later, Rika couldn’t stop her tears from falling. She wiped at them and laughed, bewildered. Yossie pulled her into a hug, right there in front everyone backstage.
“I’m glad you came,” was what Yossie had whispered into her ear.
Rika clutched at Yossie, prolonging the rare embrace and smiled- graduations weren’t so bad after all.
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