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Author Topic: Keichan Ichi BANG! Random Update: How to be a Tsundere 101 (Kojiyuu 27/4/2015)  (Read 29130 times)

Offline khryz0421

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Re: Keichan Ichi BANG! UPDATED: Affair: dark-atrox's choice of pairing.
« Reply #40 on: May 06, 2011, 12:07:21 PM »
please write more.. :kneelbow: :kneelbow:

more :pleeease: more :pleeease: more..................... :pleeease:

Offline Keichan ^_^

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Hey Guys!
Long time no see! So I just got back from Nihon yesterday and i'm a bit jetlag like but after a good chat to some of you on FB I have decided to update a oneshot...
First of all....
@Hentaichan....havent proofread all your fics! give me time!
@Kahem: Thanks for reading!!!
@Byunchan:I hope you have not forgotten about me!!! Argh!!!
@Yadong: One word. Pervert. That is all.
@pretend_2besome1: Lol I hope that the girls never learn english now! I will learn japanese instead!!!!
@aoi_sora: Hahaha you always like my stories because they are funny....argh you are gonna hate this one xD
@khryz0421: I got a feeling you dont want more more more of this xD

Um... so all I can say is please prepare yourself for this one. Its not ecchi or lemon, but more of a sad story hence the name of the fic! um...anyway I do hope that you all enjoy it! Please give me some feedback! Anyway, here I present to you...a sad love story...which isnt written too well...

Shattered Glass

Pouring thy sweet poison.

My tongue, my mouth, my body, numb.

A hoarse laugh escapes my dry lips,

Faker than my spoken feelings,

My trembling hands, my tear stained cheeks,

Blurred vision, both mental and physical,

Tilting back my pulsing head,

Dirty hair cascading down my unbathed skin,

Images flooding my mind as liquid burns down my oesophagus,

I stare bemused at the lone figure ahead of me,

Clenching the filthy bullet in my hand, white knuckles,

I draw in emotions unkempt,

Screeching out my internal wounds, cardiac arrest,

One swift movement, seconds pass,

Sweet memories dissipating, curdled love,

Incising raindrops fall before me,

Shattered glass…


---

2 Days ago…

“SUNSHINE! Check! BEACH! Check! BIKINI! Check! SUNCREEN! Check! Most importantly… HANDSOME BOYFRIEND!!!”

Ray jumped happily onto the midget next to her who was currently struggling to carry her bags.

“Neh! Ray stop it! Pfft I don’t even know why you need all this stuff!” Dumping the bags onto the ground Kai collapses onto the ground. Grinning widely Ray pounces down on top of her boyfriend, straddling him she bends over and pecks him on the lips.

“I’ll make it up to you for using your big muscles to carry my luggage…” She winks at the shy boy before pushing herself up and opening one of the bags next to her. “And I do need all this! Look I bought a pillow, some chips, drinks, I have different types! And look I brought a few sets of bikinis because I didn’t know what you were going to wear and I had to make sure that we were matching!”

“What…you’re telling me I was carrying 50 sets of useless bikinis?”

“It’s not useless! I had to bring them all to make sure that I seduce you with them and so your eyes don’t wander around at all these half-naked family ruining girls!” Glaring around at the girls at the beach who were staring at her dearest Kai she quickly grabbed onto the latter and kissed him passionately to tell the girls that Kai belonged to her and only her! Surprised by the sudden kiss Kai slowly pushes her away.

“Ray! Stop it!”

Pouting at him she slowly drops her head.

“You don’t like being seen with me…you’re ashamed of dating me…”

Seeing his girlfriend emotionally distraught he quickly comforts her in a reassuring embrace.

“Ray… I’m not ashamed of you…” He gently kisses her forehead. “I’m just not a PDA type of guy… everyone just watches us when you do that. As much as I enjoy it I don’t like the attention we get from it.”

Holding tightly onto her shorter partner she gently whispers into his ear.

“I love you Kai. I don’t like how other girls watch you… it makes me feel insecure.” Chuckling lightly, Kai suddenly backs away and flicks her forehead. “Itai! Kai~”

“Hehe sorry sorry.” He gently rubs it better. “But I definitely think that you don’t need to worry. “There’s no other girl I want to be with apart from you.”

“KAI~!!!!” She latches onto him tightly, lifting him off the ground she begins to spin around in circles.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RAY STOP!! MY MUSCULITY!!!”

“Oops…” She quickly places him back onto the sand and Kai blushes furiously and hides in the comfort of Ray’s arms as they walk over to a quiet area of the beach. Settling their belongings, with Kai putting up the umbrella and Ray putting down the towel, they then lie down and watch the waves wash up against the shoreline. Pulling Ray closer to himself, Kai gently kisses her forehead.

“Hey let’s go out for a swim!”

“Um… you can… I don’t feel that well so I’ll just lie down a bit longer.”

“Are you okay? Do you want to go back to the hotel?” Kai gently caresses her cheek, making sure that his beloved girlfriend is feeling alright and gently pushes himself off the ground before pulling Ray up against him. “Let’s just go back to the hotel!”

“No no no! it’s fine! You want to swim don’t you?”

Gently chuckling Kai begins to pack up the towel.

“I’m not going to go swimming when you aren’t feeling well. That would make me a bad boyfriend!”

“Wait….” Holding Kai back she gently nibbles the sensitive areas behind his ear. “I feel fine…it’s just that I can’t swim…” Turning around Kai smirks towards her.

“So… you are scared to swim?”

She gently nods then burrows her face into the crook of his neck. Clearly embarrassed to admit that she couldn’t swim. Laughing half-heartedly and gently whispers into her ear.

“So you have over a hundred pairs of bikinis and they haven’t touched the water?”

She nods slowly before Kai drops onto the ground laughing hysterically, only to earn a kick in the ribs from his girlfriend who is frantically covering her red cheeks and jumping around in embarrassment.

“Hey hey watch where you’re kicking!  If you hit the baby maker we’re doomed!”

“Who said I wanted to have your babies?”

Pouting towards his girlfriend he roughly gets off the ground.

“Fine! Have someone else’s! I don’t care. I would never meet your parents standards anyway.”

“Hey I was joking” She tightly held onto him. “Why are you suddenly so mad?”

Pushing her away from him he sighs loudly.

“Your parents don’t like you dating me. It’s a known fact. I’m not rich, not handsome, not tall, not intelligent as any of the men they try setting you up with. Maybe you should just date them…”

Pulling Kai to face her she slaps him painfully across the cheek.

“Do you even love me? Why would you say that!” She grabs her bag and quickly runs off.

~2 hours later~

Kai frantically continues to look for Ray. He thought that she would just run back to the hotel so he took his time to pack up their belongings before returning back to their empty hotel room. He had rushed to the reception only to be told that his girlfriend had not returned to the hotel yet. Now he is currently roaming the streets in search for her. All he could do was curses under his breath at his own stupidity. How could he possibly say such things when he knew all along that Ray was suffering from her parents endless taunting? She had sacrificed so much to be with him yet he still said such hurtful words. He was mentally slapping himself.

Looking around he finally spotted her at the corner of the beach. Slowly approaching her, he gently called her name.

“Ray…”

No answer.

“Ra~”

“Don’t come any closer please.” She softly squeaked out. It was adamant that the girl had cried endlessly. Stepping back Kai slowly squatted down, giving the girl some space.

“I’ll just sit here until you’re ready.”

Time slowly passed. Kai watched painfully in silence as his girlfriend burrowed into her hands and quietly cried. His heart wrenching as he knew he had caused all this. After an hour he finally pushed up and moved towards her. Enveloping her tightly he slowly whispered into her ears.

“I’m sorry babe I didn’t mean it. I love you I really do. I lo~” Before her could finished he was pushed away again. He fell back and began to move forward again until he heard her voice pierce his heart.

“Let’s break up.”

“Ray…”

“We shouldn’t be together. You said it yourself.”

“R-Ray I didn’t mean it!” Moving forward he endlessly tried to grab hold of her only to be pushed back onto the sand.

“ENOUGH KAI!” She stood up and finally looked up into his eyes for the first time. Her swelled up red eyes depicted the pain that Kai’s words had caused her.

“You were right… we shouldn’t be together. There are better men out there for me…you were just an illusion. A way for me to anger my parents.”

“Ray what are you talking about? You aren’t thinking straight. We love each other.”

Kai immediately held onto her tightly, he couldn’t lose her. Despite the fact he rejected her multiple times when they met, he knew that he was now deeply in love with the girl. Struggling to hold her still, he grabbed too tightly making the latter wince in pain.

“Kai you’re hurting me!” Loosening his grip he apologised frantically.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Ray immediately took advantage of the situation. Pulling her arm away she pulled it back and slapped him hard across the face. Kai stumbled backwards before turning back to face her. His lip bleeding slowly as they quivered.

“R-r-ray…”

She bent down and grabbed her bag.

“I don’t want to ever see your face again. I’m going to the hotel to collect my belongings…don’t come back until I’m gone.”

As she began walking away Kai slowly caressed his stinging cheek. Looking up he felt a tear trickle down his cheek. Ironically soothing the pain of his welted skin. Moving forward he chased her.

“Ray you love me don’t you? Why are you doing this?”

Ray stopped walking causing Kai to stand motionless behind her.

“Today you made me realise that I wasn’t in love with you. You were just someone I told myself I loved in order to feel like a normal girl instead of an idol”

“You don’t mean that I know you don’t. You tried so hard just to steal my heart an~”

“And it was all part of the game.”

Kai stood in disbelief. What happened over the last few hours. Everything was perfect until he opened his stupid mouth. He watched as Ray walked away towards the hotel. His heart shattered slowly.

~The Next Day~

Ray had collected her belongings and immediately gone home after leaving Kai. She had switched off her phone and told the house maids to tell Kai that she wasn’t home if he ever called. Her parents, upon hearing of the couples break up had immediately arranged for a blind date for Ray and a business partners son.
The day went by slowly. Ray had lay in bed whilst slowly looking through the photos and purikura she had taken with Kai. Why she had broken it off with him. She truly didn’t know. She was in love with him. So so so in love that it hurts. She had run out of tears. Before Kai had found her, she thought about the possibility of being with Kai for the rest of her life. However, all her thoughts were that of her parents ruining Kai’s life before the day would actually come in which they could live happily ever after. They had always threatened her behind closed doors. Told her that if she continued to date such a pathetic excuse for a man that they would ruin him and his band mates careers. She could never allow anyone to hurt Kai. She thought maybe Kai could be happier with someone else. Kai like herself always had individuals rooting for their love and affection. A few minutes before Kai arrives, Ray had received a phone call from her mother. It was simple. She found out Ray had gone to the beach with Kai instead of her recording. Leave him immediately or watch as his career crumbles to nothing by tomorrow. Ray made her decision. To leave the one she loves in order to guarantee a safe future for him. Her own future she could sacrifice in order to see his smiling face from afar for the rest of her life.

That night she dressed in an elegant gown and attended her blind date. Sitting across from a man who constantly rambled about his love for golf and how he had had a bad day at work made her realise how much she missed Kai. Excusing herself from the table she went to the bathroom and turned on her phone. Tears escaped her eyes as her mailbox flooded with messages. Gently flicking through them she smiled sadly to herself. Mentally she told herself she would never delete these messages. After glancing at her watch she quickly returned to her table before she finished reading all her messages. She heard her phone vibrating in her bag, she smiled at the thought of more messages from her beloved Kai. Each time she heard it vibrate the smile on her face grew. After dinner she was driven home, only to be taken via the night view of the city in which the man expressed his affection for her. She gently shook her head before asking to be returned home. The rejected man did as she asked.

Upon entering her house her mother rushed to her side. Ecstatic at her daughters return, and curious of the outcome of the date. Ray quickly shook her head happily and began to rise up the stairs. However, her father’s words stopped her, leaving her breathless and confused.

“At least you will never be with that good for nothing boy ever again”

Slowly walking down the stairs she turned into the lounge room confronting her father.

“What do you mean? What have you done to him? You promised to never touch him!”

Her father scoffed.

“I didn’t do anything, he knew where he belonged”

“What are you saying?” Ray’s voiced quivered in uncertainty.

“He committed suicide an hour ago. It was on the news” Her father smiled devilishly at her.

“Y-y-you’re lying! YOU’RE LYING!” Looking up at the television, her eyes slowly blurred as her legs began to fall beneath her. The only thing she read on the screen was ‘Kai of Persona jumps from cliff edge into ocean’.

~Present~


Ray stared at the shattered glass around her. Her vision blurred, whether it was from being intoxicated or from the tears she could not comprehend nor did she care as she read through the messages on her phone. 127 messages, 123 of which were confessions of everlasting love… the last three read…

-Ray who is that guy you are with? Are you really not in love with me anymore?-

Tears escaped her as her lips slowly mouthed her reply…

“N-n-nobody that matters…I-I-I’m only in love with y-y-you”

-Ray why won’t you answer me! I’m outside the restaurant please come out and see me. I love you. Please I need to talk to you I’m dying here. Every time you smile at him my heart aches. Please Ray. Tell me you love me back-

She chokes as she tries to swallow her tears.

“I-I-I was smiling because I w-w-was thinking about y-y-you. I-I love you t-t-too. M-my heart i-is a-aching s-s-so m-much n-now. P-p-please c-c-come b-back t-to me.”

-Why haven’t you come out! Ray please. If you don’t come out I swear on my life that I’ll rid myself of this pain. I can’t stand seeing you with someone else…-

She buries her mouth into her hands as she cries hysterically.

“Kai…Kai…W-why d-did you have t-to b-be s-so s-stupid…”

Breathing deeply she finally flicked to the last message.

-I’m sorry I never made you fall in love with me. I’m sorry I have hindered your relationship with your parents. I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy. I’m sorry I was never the right guy for you. But most of all… I’m sorry that I fell so deeply in love with you. I know that I don’t mean much to you, maybe you will delete this before reading it. But I guess I had to message this before I rid myself from being a burden to you. I love you Ray. More than anything in this world. Most people may call my act stupid. But if they understood that the only reason my heart is beating was for you than they will know that when you left me it stopped. I can’t survive without a heartbeat and I can’t survive without you. I guess that knowing that you have such fear of the ocean, you would never come to find me here. This place is where it all ended for me. And I hope this place can wash away the pain that is my existence. I love you for all eternity. Kai.-

Collapsing against the wall she began to endlessly murmur.

“I-I love y-you f-f-forever” Looking up she pushed herself up and walked across the empty corridors of the recording studio. Pushing into a similar room she eyes the couch before her. This was where they met…her hand glides against the material of the seat. As she continues to stumble through the studio she slowly makes her way up the stairs. Pushing the door open she feels the cold air crush her fragile body. Reminiscing the time in which the warm sun shone brightly against her skin. Walking forward she cemented herself on a certain spot. Her outreached hand caressing a lone illusion. This was where we first kissed. Turning to the side she watched as the moon shone brightly. Smiling she slowly stepped forward. Breathing deeply she slowly pulled her phone out. She typed out a short message before dropping her phone. Smiling brightly she slowly leaned forward and let her body slowly be engulfed by gravity. The sound of a sweet melody of love sounded before silence filled the night.

~A few kilometres away~

The sound of a message tone echoed through the cold motionless morgue.

-Kai, I love you always and forever. My heart only belongs to you. I’m sorry I’m late, but I’m coming to find you. Love Ray.-

~fin~

Anyway I'm not sure how you feel about it! But I hope its alright! It's a bit depressing for my first fic back but I guess I like to experiment a bit and yeah attack a few different genres which havent been done yet!


Offline nyaha00

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ehhh T_T
it's good T_T

Offline sorakamiya

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 :shocked :shocked :shocked keichan u make me wanna cry....  :gyaaah: :gyaaah: :gyaaah: :on speedy: :on speedy: :on speedy: good romance story  :cry: :cry: :cry:

Offline eSsIe21

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.whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! :frustrated: :gyaaah: :pleeease:...



. after reading this fiction, i began to cry!!!!..... :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye:

.... why did kai have to die!!!!!! :pleeease:

Offline khryz0421

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they both died.. :cry: :cry: :cry:

nice story.. :twothumbs  :twothumbs


more more more drama fics!  :wub: :wub: :wub:


Offline kahem

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T_T you made me almost cry. This fic is really touching even if I want to hit Kai and Ray for commiting suicide.

Offline Arakawa

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OMGGGGG SO GOOD.

I loved it :)
Please write more kai x ray!

Offline bou-j525

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Nice story  :twothumbs I can't say I hate you because I'm probably not the best one to talk about writing sad stories  :nervous BUT. I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU FOR KILLING KAI  :panic: Though... they really are both stupid in this story, Kai for killing himself and Ray for saying she didn't love him  :angry:
It reminds me a movie though... but I'm not quite sure about it XD
ANYWAYS...

@Byunchanbou-j525:I hope you have not forgotten about me!!! Argh!!!

FIXED.


Offline crazywota

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OMG OMG OMG :on speedy:  :gyaaah: :tantrum: i am gonna kill the writer of this fic   :on voodoo: jk

but seriously this fic makes me want to cry.  :farofflook:

but thankyou for this awesome fic.

Offline ShibuyaDokiDoki

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Brb crying...  :fainted:

KEI-CHAN~!!!!!!!!!!!! More please   :hee:

It's not rape!!!! I'm a loli!   :wahaha:

Offline MeWantANewHat

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Waaaaaaaahhhh!!! The latest update was so sad TT^TT Poor Ray and Kai only being able to be together in death. *sniff sniff* at least they're together now =(

Thank you for the update and keep up the good work ^^

Offline TakahashiJ

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This is really depressing for me to take omg. Nice fanfic! Looking forward to more.

Offline aoi_sora

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@aoi_sora: Hahaha you always like my stories because they are funny....argh you are gonna hate this one xD
guess what??? I TOTALLY HATE THIS ONE!!!!  :angry:

this makes me cry.....  :on speedy:

i want them to be together.. not together in heaven!  :gyaaah:

ok enough with the drama!!!  :nervous

the truth is i loved it! great fic! thank you!!!  :D

Flean

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I almost cry reading this fic.. :cry: really sad...

I always love sad story... so, really love your fic!!  :twothumbs

why must they kill themselves????? why??   :angry:

but if they didn't die this wont be a sad story then~~  :wahaha:

Offline Keichan ^_^

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Re: Keichan Ichi BANG! Something Short.
« Reply #55 on: August 05, 2011, 02:16:55 PM »
 :sweat: Hello readers!
So I figured that my last one shot made people feel like....  :OMG: :badluck: :depressed: :err: :fainted: :gyaaah: :pleeease: :scared: :scolding: :temper: :imdead: :on blackhole: :on polter: :on cloudeye: :on speedy: :on voodoo: :on kimbo:
But...yeah you all said you like my one-shots anyway!!!  :mon speechless:
@Jonatheperv: As long as you say its good!
@Ecchichan: I'm sorry I made you cry! But but but you said I am your idol!!! T_T so you should still like it which you do!
@eSsIe21: I didnt mean to make you cry!!!! ARGH the guilt!!!
@khryz0421:  :thumbsup at least you enjoy the drama!!! Whoot!!
@Kahem: Yes yes hit kai and ray!!! Not me!!
@Arakawa: You enjoy Ray x Kai...Ok I will see what I can do I guess!
@Candle: and you will forgive me as long as I update something for you to read! Pssh!
@crazywota: Dude....I swear I didnt write this....>_> Bouchan did it... >_> yeah bouchan.... if she denies it... it was.... dark-atrox
@Sukebechan: I enjoy the fact you enjoy sad depressing dramas! xD Btw go cook me an egg!
@MeWantANewHat: Hahaha sorry about that but yes at least they are together!!!
TakahashiJ: I will continue to write more depressing fics then!
@aoi_sora: I'm sorry i made you cry!!! But you said you liked it! I'll make a happy one again for you sometime!
@Flean: Yes! Thats right! if they both didnt die it wouldnt have been such a sad fic! THEREFORE! It means I did the right thing killing them both!
@Everyone, that was a lot of comments! Thanks! Great to know I have so many readers!!! Makes me happy like a unicorn! Idk why a unicorn but I think it was because I saw one on TV just then...
I'm pretty sure this short fic just got written cos I was extremely bored and had a few minutes to spare! I'll think of a name for it now...

When you leave me.


When she smiles…

I feel angry, annoyed, irritated, depressed, frustrated, ticked off, possessive, murderous…

When she laughs…

I turn away.

When she playfully hits…

I want to pull her arm away.

When she hugs…

I want to drag her off.

When she kisses…

I want to rip out my eyes.

When she turns and leaves me…

I want to die.


My life has been empty for the last few weeks. Despite my hectic schedule it seems as though I am always alone. Despite my close friends surrounding me, I feel unloved. Despite my flooded inbox, I feel as though I have never gotten a message. The food tastes bland, the air seems coarse, the water is like poison, the ground is like quick sand, my body is like a corpse. As I lay in bed counting sheep, my mind is flooded with images of you, when I close my eyes tight to sleep, I know that insomnia has already taken over. My eyes are as tired as my heart. My mind is as blank as the lack of expression on my face. Are you really my everything? Were you what really brought me alive? Am I really nothing without you? Am I still anything to you? Or have you forgotten about me, forgotten about us, forgotten that you are all I need to happy…

You’ve left me for a few weeks already, however I still search the newspapers for your face, your name, your life story. I don’t want to know, but I need to know. How happy are you really without me? As I see your face on the paper I let out a relieved sigh, you’re still alive. However, why is my heart bleeding? Why are you so close to him? Why are you showing the smile you promised to only show me to him? Why are you acting shy and blushing madly? Aren’t I the only one that makes your heart race? Aren’t I the only one who says to you sweet nothings that mean everything? Closing the paper I begin to tear it up. Why have you not checked up on me? Why have I not received a message? Does leaving me really mean that you won’t come back to me? Is this how our love must end?
As I slide down the wall I feel the cold ground. However it’s not as cold as my heart right now. Wait… what heart have I got left if you had already taken it and thrown it away? My body feels numb. Not even the exploding hydrants of withheld tears are felt running down my cheeks. All I can feel is that stinging pain in my chest. As I bash it hard, it still doesn’t go away. My hollow chest. My loveless body.  My lifeless soul. My tortured mind. Why must it automatically create a montage of you? Am I really dying? My blurred vision goes black…

Waking up I hear a constant beep. Looking over I see my heartbeat reflected on the screen. So I do still have a heart… I am able to live without you… Looking around I see worried faces. They’re blurry but I know I’m safe until one suddenly approaches me. I move away. I can’t let her near me. I can’t get hurt again. She grabs my arm as I prepare to wince in pain but it never happens. Her hand so soft makes my heart skip a beat. The way she softly caresses my cheek makes me move against the light touch.

How do you do that? Make me forgive you so easily. Make me want you close to me. To never leave me.  To hold me in your tight embrace. To be comforted by you, protected by you, just loved by you. Your smile makes me smile. Her laugh makes me laugh. When she playfully hits me I want to hand her hands tightly and never let go. When she hugs me I pull her close and whisper sweet ballads into her ears. When she kisses me I never want her lips to leave mine. When she turns to leave, I know she will always be dragging me behind her.

Maeda Astuko… I finally understand how you felt when I played Kai in Mendol…but seriously did you really have to star in Hanazakari no Kimitachi e for revenge?

~Fin~

 :wahaha: Shortest Fic EVER!!!!!!! RAWR!!!! xD

Offline sorakamiya

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Re: Keichan Ichi BANG! Something Short.
« Reply #56 on: August 05, 2011, 03:59:41 PM »
^ WTH  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

the revenge much more than kai did  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

well, yeah u are my idol keichan so please keep writing  :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:

Offline kahem

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Re: Keichan Ichi BANG! Something Short.
« Reply #57 on: August 07, 2011, 07:30:09 AM »
LoL! Acchan'revenge is serious!

Offline Keichan ^_^

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Re: Keichan Ichi BANG! That Awkward Silence (Kai X Ray)
« Reply #58 on: August 21, 2011, 01:44:09 PM »
 :cool1: Ohayo~
Um... so I'm updating as my BFF dark-atrox pestered me for a week for a Kai X Ray oneshot... her reasons why I had to write it for her... will remain out secret. ~ebil laf~ I demand she updates something now... and not the one she sent me earlier to read! lol anyway, there is a theme song for this one as well as Sora kept singing it nonstop to everyone on the Jphipsterz Facebook group. Thanks for reading my fics everyone. Sorry I hardly update anymore but comments and requests are always welcome. Anywho, let me present to you...

That Awkward Silence.

Song: Hard to Say I Love You ~Iidasenakute~ - WEAVER

It’s hard to comprehend why you love me so much. For I see myself as being unworthy of such love. Each time you blatantly declare that you love me, each time you frown when I tell you that you don’t, each time you make me smile with your childish remarks, each time you surprise me with your maturity, each time you slowly creep further into my heart despite my attempt to build walls to prevent you from getting in. At first I did not know who you really were, most likely a psychopath on the prowl… I talked, you listened, you talked, I listened. It was quite simple. We were simple. Our feelings were simple. Friends. That’s what we were, but not really what we are. What are we? Is that what you wonder? Because truthfully I wonder that as well. Are you my friend or my little sister…or something more…?

You are loud and obnoxious, yet quiet and shy when we’re alone. You laugh to my pathetic jokes, inquire into my well-being, chat to me about rubbish until the early hours of the morning, message me when I’m bored at work. All seemed so simple until that awkward silence. The silence I created once you told me you loved me… it seemed as though it was from that moment that things seemed to get more confusing, that you started to get hurt from my lack of reply, that I began to think too deeply into simple gestures, that I became who I never wanted to become. Someone that makes your smile dissipate…

I miss the sound of your laugh, I miss the sound of your voice, I miss your stupid jokes, I miss your stupid remarks, I miss the way you say stupid things which made you sound like a retarded child. I miss everything about you… I might as well just say I miss you. However I’m too stubborn, I let my ego get ahead of me, so much that I neglect you and your feelings, so much that I am starting to believe that what I’m doing is all to prevent you from getting hurt, however in the end all I’ve been doing to you is what I’ve been trying to prevent. I push you away despite my urges to have you close by my side. I joke around about your feelings despite the fact that I feel the same way. I accuse you of liking other people, when in fact if it were true it would break my heart. I know that lately I’ve been too hot-headed, too paranoid, too insecure, too… something I never was, and most likely something you would never love. How do I turn back time… how do I make things right… how do I step forward so I’m close to you again… how to I make right what went wrong since that awkward silence?

Now all I can do is stand at the side and watch as you spend time with him. Keigo, that’s his name… As much as I despise him, I know in reality that I despise myself even more… I lost you because of my own insecurities… because I could not accept that I love you…

“Kai….KAI!!!!!!!!!”

I quickly turn my attention away from the scene before me and turn to face my friend beside me.

“What?” My voice was monotone, emotionless.

“Man, you’ve been spacing out all week. What’s wrong with you?”

“N-Nothing.” I turn away. Had I really been that obvious? Has she noticed my behaviour?

“Come on Kai you can’t lie to us. We’ve known you long enough to know something is wrong with you.” Riku gently held onto the shorter boys shoulder.

“Yeah midget! You aren’t that small that we don’t notice changes.” Kuu added grabbing onto the other shoulder.

“Ergh let go of me!” Shrugging their hands off his shoulder’s he quickly whipped around. “I’m fine I’m just tired from all this work lately.” He smiled faintly. “Just wanted a holiday of some type”.

The two boys looked at each other before turning back around towards the former. Grinning widely they both replied at the same time.

“PERFECT!”

“Huh?” Kai looked at them confused.

“Well we were actually making arrangements to go ice-skating together tonight!” Riku quickly added.

“So you can have a good time out with all of us.” Quickly going behind Kai, Kuu began pushing the smaller boy towards the exit. “We’re actually going there now!”

“B-b-but what about our recording?”

“We just finished you idiot! Man you are spacing out!”

As they were going towards the lift Riku quickly turned and yelled back towards the room.

“Hey Ray! Keigo! Hurry up! Are you coming in our car or going in your own?”

Kai quickly stopped and turned around to face those deep brown orbs watching him. They stood there, staring deep into each other’s eyes, searching for the answer to an unspoken question.

“Ray and I will go in my car.” Keigo quickly said, instantly bringing the two out of their trance. Kai turned and stared at Keigo and back to Ray before turning around to press the lift.

“Come on guys let’s just go.” The lift doors opened and Kai took this opportunity to quickly get out of there. The room had suddenly become intoxicating for him. He found it hard to breathe and had to get out of there. He felt like he was choking, his heart aching, beating an unfamiliar melody. Noticing his unease Riku and Kuu quickly stepped into the lift and waved goodbye before Kuu screamed through the lift doors as they closed.

“WE’LL SEE YOU THERE!”

Riku turned and stared at Kai who had his head facing towards the floor of the elevator.

“Kai, why can’t you just admit that you like her?” Riku’s voice triggering the latter to immediately look at him.

“I don’t like her. She’s like a sister to me.”

Kuu shook his head before resting against the wall of the elevator. Riku sighed deeply and leaned against the opposite side.

“Whatever you say…”

Kai turned and faced the closed doors before him. Staring blankly at them, all his mind was filled with was Ray’s face before the doors closed. Whether she was sad, annoyed, or happy he could no longer comprehend. Nor did he know his own feelings towards her. It was yet another awkward silence.

~***~

Staring at the lift doors, Ray’s heart sunk. As if the retreating figure of Kai into the lift wasn’t enough, her inability to rush forward into the lift to be next to him added to her dissipating confidence. Why did she confess to him? She missed being close to him. She missed his smile. His awkward chuckle as he scratched the back of his head when she teased him. The way he would appear out of nowhere to cheer her up when she was having a bad day in the studio. The way he would wipe away her tears when she cried. The way he would hold her hand tightly and walk her through her fans into the safety of her van. The way he would just be him and whisk her away from her boring life. She hated herself for ruining their relationship. She has caused such awkwardness. Now she hardly saw him in the last week. She hardly smelt the cologne which lingers from his body when he walks past and gently ruffles her hair. She hardly hears his voice whisper her name in her ear. She hardly feels the warmth of his body as he playfully hugs her. She thought the feelings were mutual, she thought everything would be the same, she thought that he would love her back, but in the end all that happened was an endless week of awkward silences.

~***~

Waiting outside the ice-skating rink Kai sat on the staircase whilst looking up at the sky. It was a clear starry night. Similar to the one a week ago. The wind was cold. Crisp one might say. Warming up his hands and pulling his scarf higher to cover his cheeks he continued to watch the night’s sky. Next to him Kuu and Riku looked around, waiting for the remainder of the group to arrive.

“Sorry we’re late!” Keigo happily cheered as he pulled Ray along behind him. Hearing his voice, Kai turned to face the arrivals. Nothing could prevent the stinging pain in his chest as his eyes caught a glance of the connected hands. Stopping a few metres from him, he watched as Keigo’s arm coiled around Ray’s waist. Gritting his teeth tightly he quickly turned away.

“It’s alright we’re still waiting for someone.” Riku replied before looking around streets again.

“BOO!” Riku felt as a pair of soft hands wrapped around his waist causing him to jump on the spot. Turning around he flicked the latters head. “Itai~”

“Don’t do that again!” Riku grinned widely as he hugged the girl close to him. Turning around he introduced the latter to the others. “This is my girlfriend Yuko.” Every stared in disbelief as the Yuko waved at them cheerfully.

“Since when?” Ray asked.

“Last week…” Riku blushed and turned back towards his girlfriend.

“I thought you were gay…” Kuu quickly added before jumping away from the vicious hands of the love struck boy beside him.

Yuko laughed lightly before pulling her boyfriend into the ice-skating rink. As the rest followed suit, two individuals walked through the doors at the same time only to be divided by a physical barrier, but an unintentional emotional one, Keigo. Both sighed deeply as the same thought crossed each other’s mind.

“Last week…”

~***~

At the reception desk of the skating rink the group began to get there ice-skates. The reception glanced up at the individual ahead of her.

“Hey Kai! The usually?” Looking up the receptionist Kai felt uneasy. The fact was he and Ray were regular customers of the ice-skating rink. Looking over his shoulder he noticed Keigo and Ray chatting together.

“Um no just one please…” The receptionist looked over Kai’s shoulder after noticing his uneasiness. Upon standing up he instantly sat back down and looked at Kai before giving him his locker key to his personal locker and collecting his payment. As Kai turned quickly to walk away he accidently bumped into Ray.

“S-s-sorry.” He fastened his pace towards the locker room heaved a sigh of relief once he turned in and leaned back against the lockers. It was getting to hard for him and he didn’t know why. He opened up his locked and stood still, his eyes fixed to a pair of skates. Her skates. Moving them out of the way he quickly pulled his skates out and locked the locker. He sat down on the bench of the empty locker room. Looking down at his feet he zoned out. Reminiscing the past.

~FLASHBACK~

“I’ve never been ice-skating before I’m scared~” The young girl pouted as she watched the guy tie her skates up for her as he kneeled down on the floor in front of her. He looked up upon finishing off the bow on the laces. Grinning widely he stood up and held out his hand.

“Come on let’s go! I promise I won’t ever let you get hurt.” Smiling widely she stood up and grabbed his hand. However due to her inexperience in walking around on ice-skates, she fell forward onto the latter. She felt as a set of arm securely wrapped around her and looked up only to meet a set of lips close to her forehead. “Are you okay?”

“Y-y-yeah” She quickly turned away to hide her blushing face. She felt as the warmth of the unexpected embrace disappeared. Suddenly she felt as a hand tightly held onto hers and pulled her forward. Her heart skipped a beat.

“Come on then! I want to start skating and watch you fall over and wet your butt!”

“Yah!” She playfully hit his arm as he chuckled lightly.


~***~

Kai looked at the lockers before him. Did she like me then…?

Standing up from the bench he began to walk out of the locker room only to bump into Ray again.

“Hey…”

“Hi…”

They stared at each other again. It was yet again another awkward silence.

“Could I get my skates out of the locker?” Ray asked softly. Kai quickly fumbled for his locker key.

“S-s-sure” Opening up the locker he passed the latter the other pair of skates, shivering at the touch of the latter’s soft fingers as she took the skates out of his hands.

“Thank you.” She turned away and quickly walked out of the room leaving the former to stare blankly into space in defeat.
Turning the corner and sitting on the bench next to Keigo she gently touched her heated cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Keigo asked as Ray stared blankly at the fingers which gently grazed Kai’s hand.

“Y-yeah” She quickly changed into her skates before walking forward on to the rink.

~***~

After half an hour of skating Kai stepped out of the rink. He thought he would be okay, but he wasn’t. His hands were as cold as ice and it made his realise how much he missed the warmth of Ray’s hands. He turned and watch as Keigo held tightly onto Ray’s hands. It was Keigo’s first time skating and Ray was leading him around the rink. Kai stared at the couple, unaware of his clenched fist. Flashback’s of his first time coming to the rink with Ray flashed through his head. He remembered how she wobbled uncontrollably, how she grabbed him tightly, how she screamed for help, how she complained when he lead her away from the walls, how she hugged him like her life depended on it when she fell down, how she told him never to let go of her. Turning away he quickly walked towards the food court and bought a bottle of water. Pouring the contents down his throat quickly he gulped down half the bottle before sitting down on the bench. He was exhausted, not physically but emotionally. If only it wasn’t so hard to say I love you…

Standing up he walked towards the toilets. Turning the corner he crashed into Ray. Looking at him, the latter quickly uttered an apology before stepping past him. She was however halted by a tight grip on her wrist.

“Don’t go.”

“Kai please…”
Before she could retort and pull away she felt as the latter’s arm wrapped tightly around her slim waist. She felt his warm breath hitting her neck. She felt as he pulled her closer against his body. She felt as he turned her around to face her. She felt as his soft lips crushed against her own in a deep passionate kiss. She felt as his lips left hers. She felt as his heart beat against hers. She felt as his cheek grazed against hers. She felt as his lips gently touched her ear. With four syllables she felt as the weeks lonely and heart breaking awkwardness dissipated and a longed comforting silence took over.

“Ray, I love you.”

~Fin~

 :on polter: There you go! Hope that meets all the expectations xD I feel pressure to write well after certain people on Facebook told me that they liked my stories xD Anyway Please comment! AND BFF WRITE ME A FIC!!!!

@ Kahem and Ecchichan: Acchan is definitely abusing the jealousy game!






Offline blueangel65

  • ecchi
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Re: Keichan Ichi BANG! That Awkward Silence (Kai X Ray)
« Reply #59 on: August 21, 2011, 01:54:15 PM »
wHaaa!! FinaLLy You wrote New Fics, I LOVE YOU now!!  :ptam-kiss:
by the way!! I'm New here so Nice to meet You..  :on cny1:
and I  :heart: aLL your Fics, so pLease  :mon pray2: write more Atsumina or Kai Ray Fics, Thank You!!  :byebye:

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