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Author Topic: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++  (Read 6226 times)

Offline Altrox

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Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« on: August 04, 2011, 01:30:45 PM »
One shot!


Contains pairings… many of them! But you know... usual suspects :P

Enjoy it please :D


Finishing up her solo dance practice, Minegishi Minami spotted a familiar face lurking around the practice room. For some strange reason however, her usual Kojiharu accessory was nowhere in sight.

“Ma, might as well ask her if she wants to have lunch with me,” Miichan said to herself as she walked over to the girl.

“Hello there Miichan, whatever can I do for you on this fine day?,” Yuko asked when she noticed the younger girl.

Miichan’s eyes narrowed automatically.

“Hey Yuko,” she began suspiciously. “Do you want to maybe go get something to eat?”

The girl tilted her head in a very uncharacteristic manner and smiled gently at her friend.

“Thank you for your kind offer dear Miichan but I’m afraid I have to decline at this point in time.”

Looking around in a panic, Miichan tried to find reinforcements for her current battle with weirdness.

“People! Something’s wrong with Yuko, I think she’s broken!”

Seemingly unaware of the effect her mannerisms were having on Miichan, Yuko instead took note of a new comer in the room.

“Ah hello there Atsuko-san. Miichan, perhaps Atsuko-san would like to join you for a bite to eat? Would you like me to ask her for you? Where is my butler? Steven? Where art you Steven?”

“Atsuko thank God you’re here. Something’s wrong with Yuko, I think Haruna finally damaged her. You know… in the brain.”

“Ah Kojima-san. My dear dear Kojima-san. I believe I have sent my relationship with her into destruction. And on top of that I have lost Steven. My butler.

Miichan’s eyes widened at the gravity of the situation. Yuko seemed very very much broken.

“Because you’re a pervert? Why are you speaking Japanese with a British accent? Why do you think you had a butler? Yuko… did you hit your head? We should probably get you to a hospital.

“It’s my heart that is in pain! Oh Steven, you would brew the most comforting tea for moments like these. Oh the sense of these times.”

“In the sense that you’re an idiot?”

“In the sense that… I have lost her.”

Miichan paused for a moment, a frown immediately coming to her face.

“Yuko that’s impossible. You and Haruna are… well… connected. Through perversion and other things like love and such.”

“Atsuko-san, please if you would, tell her that the impossible has become possible. Kojima-san’s heart no longer belongs to me.”
Miichan turned to the previously silent Atsuko and shot her a worried look.

“Acchan? Wifey? You’re not British now too are you? Tell Miichan what’s wrong ok?”

“Minami broke up with me,” the Ace replied simply with unshed tears in her eyes.


“Haruna broke up with Yuko too. They told us to give up on them because they’re dating each other.”

“They sealed their love for each other with a kiss in front of our very eyes. Oh how it hurt me so…”

“WHAT?!! OK ok ok. This is probably the wrong thing to be saying at this point but… you two are taking this slightly horrible and shocking event a little too well. Or are you?”

Miichan moved in close and wrapped an arm around each of her friend’s shoulders.

“You guys haven’t killed anyone just to calm yourselves down have you? Acchan… I’m looking at you… have you killed someone
Acchan? You can tell me.”

“No,” Acchan replied with a serious look. “Not yet. But if I have to…”

Miichan surveyed her friend uneasily.

“Where exactly are you taking this Acchan?”

“Wherever it needs to go. I’ll do whatever I need to do,” Acchan replied again, this time with such conviction that she felt the need to tighten a fist and pump it into the air.

“Right well, I’m starting to freak out now,” Miichan said to herself.

“I’d kill people if I have to,” Atsuko clarified unnecessarily making Miichan gulp.

“Actually in the middle of freaking out quite seriously,” Miichan said.

Yuko on the other hand, having awakened due to Atsuko’s heartfelt vow and climbed back from the pits of her despair decided to push Miichan deeper in hers.

“It doesn’t matter how many people we have to kill! I need to get Nyan nyan back!,” the squirrel almost shouted, her fist joining Atsuko’s in the air.

“Oh Yuko’s back,” Miichan said as she wondered whether she should be reassured… or not.

“Or how many pretty girls we have to go through!,” Yuko added.

“Nevermind. I should have known regular Yuko wouldn’t be of any help at all.”

“We’re gonna get them back Miichan. Join our fists with your fist!,” the squirrel said.

“No. No I don’t think fists are necessary. And why do people need to die?”

“Because they belong with us,” Atsuko replied with a darkened tone. “Minami is mine. She always was and she always will be. My Captain, my friend, my lover, my lover… my lover again and again…”

“Aaand it’s time to leave. Oh… ohhhhkay. Well good luck with the whole… whatever you two are doing.”

Just before she could make her escape however, Miichan felt two rather tight grips on each of her shoulders.

“You’re gonna help us, aren’t you Miichan?,” Atsuko said as Yuko merely smirked dangerously.

The young gachapin girl looked between her counterparts and tried part two of her escape plan.

“Actually I believe I’d be better suited to…”

“Aren’t you Miichan?!”

Which of course failed miserably.

“… helping,” she finished with a scared laugh. Atsuko could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. “Yes, yes I am and that is
what I will do… how will I do that?”

Pulling out pairs of extra darkened sunglasses from her pocket, Yuko handed them out to the girls before her.

“Put these on. You’ll need them for where we’re going.”

Going with what her friends told her, Miichan dutifully put the glasses on and followed the pair out on their mission.


Upon arrival to their destination however, Miichan quickly discovered that she should have gone with her gut and plain ran away.

“Irashaimase!,” a group of young girls chirped as the trio walked into their store.

“And we are at a maid café… would anyone like to explain the meaning of this or shall I just sigh defeatedly?,” Miichan asked as she tossed the glasses back to Yuko.

“Just sigh Miichan we’re busy,” Atsuko replied.

“And don’t throw these! I carry these things for effect so we have uniformity when we walk into places,” Yuko added whilst cleaning the sunglasses of any fingerprints.

Miichan sighed and frowned at Atsuko.

“Then why would you bring me along?”

“Uniformity is important Miichan!”

“Because if we get caught with you it’s ok, we’re hanging out as friends. If it’s just the two of us we’re creepy exes being stalkers.”

“You’re still creepy exes being stalking except I’m here to suffer along. I mean help. Being helpful ok.”

“Am I still in this conversation?,” Yuko asked as she scratched her head.

Before the other two could answer in the negative, a pretty looking girl walked to their table and flashed a center worthy smile.

“Would you ladies like anything to drink?,” she asked as Atsuko nodded at her presence, Yuko drooled and Miichan looked for exits. “Hot coffee? Cold coffee? Tea? Or… me?”

Miichan frowned as she heard the last part of the girl’s spiel.

“Does that usually come with the service?”

“If you’d like it to cutey but only if you play along nicely,” the maid replied as she grabbed Miichan by the arm and began to tug.

“Be a good girl and come with me.”

All Miichan could do was flail her other arm as she was dragged off while her otherwise uncaring friends looked on with a blank face and a goofy smile.

“She’s touching me Acchan. Isn’t that against the rules? Is she supposed to be touching me?,” Miichan continued to whine out even as she was pulled behind curtains.

“Did you pay that maid to do that Yuko?”

“Yes Acchan. Yes I did.”

“You get distracted way too easily.”

“Yes Acchan. Yes I do.”

Moments later, decked out in full maid paraphernalia Miichan was the subject of wolf whistles and hollering in general.

“Cute outfit,” the Ace said as she sipped on her recently arrived iced coffee with cream.

“Shut up Acchan,” Miichan replied as she stole a sip of the cool drink.

“I like it. Nice disguise,” Yuko said as she played with her straw nonchalantly.

“What are you talking about, weren’t you chanting ‘Miichan’ and yelling things like ‘take it off!’ like five seconds ago?,” the annoyed
gachapin accused.

“Five minutes ago maybe. Don’t exaggerate,” the squirrel replied.

“You don’t think things like this contributed to Haruna breaking up with you?”

“I don’t want to talk about things that hurt me Miichan. Here put these feline ears on your head.”

“What is the purpose of this situation?”

“Photo taking opportunities. Now if I swivel the camera a little bit over here I can see my Nyan nyan… Oh crap… they’re not here

“They were here in the first place?,” Miichan asked incredulously. “Then why didn’t we just put focus on them?”

“Because we didn’t want to look like suspicious people!,” Yuko said with an indignant huff.

“Miichan! You let our dating girlfriends get away!,” Atsuko added with a pout.

“I’m just… I’m just not feeling very well right now,” Miichan said as she almost melted into one of the nearby chairs. “So you guys
go ahead and leave me so I can just stay here and die ok? How’s that for everyone?”

Seconds later however Atsuko and Yuko with a Miichan arm gripped tightly, pulled the girl straight out of the store and directly to their next destination.

“Quickly Miichan, we have to follow them sneakily!,” Yuko said while Atsuko fiddled with her phone.

“Please tell me she didn’t tag Takamina with one of those GPS chips you attach to pets,” Miichan joked.

At her friend’s silence she once again had to frown.

“Why aren’t you two saying anything? Acchan… did you have Takamina chipped?!”

“Look there they are!,” Yuko said as she hid behind the only potted plant in the movie theatre. “Buy tickets quick! That takamidget is going to try and feel up Haruna in that scary movie! I know because that’s exactly what I would do!”

The trio quickly bought tickets for the same session and followed the Takaharu couple as quietly as they could.

Which of course was a little louder than Miichan hoped for as Yuko and Atsuko kept yelling possessive sounding sentences at the

“What is this ridiculous situation?!,” Atsuko asked as they sat down.

“It looks pretty normal actually. There they are… a couple sharing popcorn and a drink… watching a movie together. The abnormal thing here is that hey their two exes are watching them from five rows back and oh, I’m still in a maid costume.”

“Nyan nyan… how could you leave me for that midget?,” Yuko cried as she clutched hands with Atsuko.

“Kojima… that midget is mine!,” Atsuko added with (semi)fake tears of her own.

“Let’s break them up so we can go back to having bedroom games with them!,” Yuko said as she pulled a willing Acchan into a hug.

Miichan, still unaware of why she had to be anywhere near the vicinity at all, sat back in her seat and proceeded to watch the
dramatic exchange.

“Umm guys, is your perfect delusion really necessary? Takamina and Harunyan look really happy together.”

Yuko and Atsuko turned their heads briskly towards their immediately nervous looking friend.

“Of course it’s necessary! They’ll be happier with us!”

“Well… they already were with you guys. And they were just mostly tired all the time from all the s-…. things you put them through.”

“What is that supposed to mean?,” Atsuko asked, her pretty features turning quickly into a frown.

“Haruna kept passing out the next day whenever Yuko would stay the night and Takamina kept missing work because of ‘mosquito bites’… among other things. Does that sound familiar?”

"They’re gone again! Good job Miichan!"

"Yes blame me because I am the one who planned their date."

“You what?,” Atsuko asked semi calmly as dark flames flared up behind her.

“Is this some sort of No3b trick?!,” Yuko asked as perverted visions of Haruna naked with strategically placed flowers maintaining her decency flashed behind her.

“Relax fiends! It’s not true it was just badly misplaced sarcasm,” Miichan assured as she backed away.

“Where do you think they’re going next?,” Atsuko asked once she’d calmed down and the flames behind her dissipated, though the
scene behind Yuko’s head remained the same.

“Coffee, then movie, I don’t know the next stop would be lunch probably,” Miichan offered with a shrug. “Acchan, what’s
Takamina’s favourite restaurant?”

Acchan hummed in thought before giving her answer.

“Probably that homey katsudon place on that corner. That’s the place she resists my advances the least so she’s probably most
comfortable there. Hold on let me check the GPS.”

“Actually I’d rather you didn’t,” a positively disturbed Miichan said as she lead the way out the door followed by a suddenly grinning Yuko.

“Good. I’m hungry and Nyan nyan is there so let’s not leave until I’m satisfied ok?”

“Yeah I’m pretty much gonna leave as soon as I can. But you guys have fun though,” Miichan replied.


With Atsuko stealing looks at her GPS and Yuko setting the marching pace while chanting ‘Nyan nyan’ every two steps, the trio reached their destination faster than Miichan could have hoped.

“Look at them sitting so close together over there in the spot that belongs to me and Takamina. Doesn’t Haruna know what that spot means to me? We’ve been kicked out of this place multiple times because of what I’ve done to Takamina in that very spot,”

Atsuko said while Miichan threw a deadpan look at her.

“I want to play with Nyan nyan’s spot,” Yuko added.

“Do you two have some sort of a plan or is stalking basically it?,” Miichan asked as a nearby clock showed how much of her free time had been whittled away by ridiculousness.

The resident Ace pouted at the question.

“Well if we went straight up there and told them to break up Takamina would just go all midget sensitive and say things like ‘You never listen to me Atsuko’ and ‘is sex all you think about?’ and ‘Atsuko where did you hide my clothes? and ‘I need a rest!’”

Yuko nodded along as Acchan relayed even more of her Takamina-isms before adding a reason of her own.

“If we walked up there, Harunyan would probably just hit me.”

Miichan gaped at the two sitting in front of her, annoyance quickly rising.

“We came all the way here so you two could watch them from afar? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? Even after all that talk of killing people, glad we didn’t by the way, this is really all you two have got? That’s it! I’m out!”

“Miichan where are you going?,” Atsuko asked in frustration, making a grab for Miichan’s arm.

“Yeah Miichan sit down! I just want to BE a stalking ex, I never said I wanted to look like one!,” Yuko said as she grabbed hold of the other arm.

“I’ve had enough of this!,” Miichan replied as she threw both hands off of her. “It’s time I started fighting on the right side of love!”

Without another look spared for the very much respected Team A and Team K aces, Miichan made her way to the happily chatting Takaharu couple.

“No3b meeting! Outside! Now!,” she barked at them.

 She then grabbed both by the collar and pulled them out of the restaurant.

Once outside and once her shorter and taller counterparts had finally escaped her grip, Miichan turned to them with a serious look on her face.

“Hi, hello it’s me Miichan. But let’s focus on that later I think we should take now to run away.”

Haruna frowned immediately while Takamina contented herself with a questioning look. The Captain would frown later when the
specifics of the day’s ridiculousness revealed themselves.

“Run away where?  What are you doing in a maid costume?,” Haruna asked her frown still perfectly in place.

“To get you two married,” Miichan replied, the seriousness on hers also unmoving. “That will make everything return to normal!”

 “Is this some sort of AKBingo joke?” Takamina asked. “In which case Haruna I think you should stop frowning.

Haruna however was in no mood to take her Captain’s advice.

“Are you out of your mind Minegishi?,” she asked.

“Probably!,” Miichan replied with a shrug. “And who’s fault do you think that is?! Just get in the car let’s go.”

“Where are we going? What car? Where did you get a car?,” Takamina asked in rapid succession as a car did indeed pull up in front of them.

“Hey guys,” the driver said as she rolled down the window.

“Hey Mari-chan,” Haruna replied easily before taking a double take. “Mari-chan what are you doing?

“Don’t really know,” Mariko replied as two members of No3b got thrown into the car by the third member. “Something about a wedding. I didn’t even know you guys were together. What an amazing love triangle!”

“Yes Mariko,” Miichan agreed with a sarcastic tone. “It’s so amazing that it’s almost more like a square with additional people attached to the sides for no reason whatsoever!”

“What’s with the attitude gachapin? Aren’t you the one who sent me a panicked text for help because you wanted to get these two married?”

“It’s the only way.”

“Hold the phone! What do you mean married?,” the usually well informed Captain scoffed just to be smacked on the arm.

“What Takamina means to say is ‘no’ and ‘Miichan what in the hell is the matter with you?’,” Haruna quipped.

“We’re not even dating! I can’t get married without dating!,” Takamina continued to rant as she rubbed her arm.

“Yes you can Takamina! You can get married without dating! It’s easy! Look I’ll do it with Mariko-sama ok? OK? Mariko we’re getting married ok?! IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THE CRAZY STALKING! BECAUSE I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

“Well she’s lost it. What should we do? Should I turn the car around?,” Mariko asked with a pensive look just before Miichan sticking her head and shoulders out the window sent her into a mild panic. “What are you doing idiot? Are you  a dog?!”

“Oh my God there they are!,” Miichan said as she ignored Mariko. “How are they gaining on us so fast on foot? It must be Acchan and her GPS. Where does all that stamina come from… oh. Nevermind. Punch it!”

She got herself completely back into the car and threw herself on top of Mariko, her foot hitting the accelerator.

“Oww gachapin! Get off of me! Why are you sitting on my lap?”

“Mariko you steer! I’ll punch it!”

“I’m going to punch everyone in the face if this car doesn’t stop right now!”


“Including you Takamina! We did this so we could get a damn break but all that happened is a week’s worth of stalking, Acchan
shooting lasers at me with her eyes whenever we’re a kilometer apart or closer and now Miichan’s gone crazy and we seem to be
in extreme amounts of danger!”

“You knew about the stalking?,” a distracted Miichan asked as she continued to speed them all through traffic like a crazy person
with only Mariko’s steering skills keeping their lives in place.

“Of course we did with you freaking out all over the place!,” Haruna screamed back. “I should just go back to that perverted
squirrel like God or the Devil intended. I’m not quite sure who because I think it changes depending on mood.”

“Are you serious?,” Takamina asked pensively.

“My parents are happy with her anyway. Whenever she sleeps over my room always ends up really clean afterwards because we
have to practically remodel the place after one of her ‘fun nights’.”

“Haruna aren’t you being a little cruel? Your current girlfriend is sitting right next to you,” Miichan said distractedly.

“Aren’t you being a little stupid?! She’s not my girlfriend… it’s Takamina for crying out loud.”

“Aaaand now she’s being a little cruel…”

“I’m sorry Takamina I didn’t mean that. I’m a little stressed out because of all the WATCH OUT THERE’S A CAR WITH A BABY IN
IT!!! … danger but I’ll calm down soon when Miichan is dead.”

“We’re speeding through moving traffic, some of it oncoming and you people are still calmly arguing?! Why did I let you into my

“Mari-chan what do you mean calmly? Did you not just hear me scream in fear?”

Just before Mariko gave up and gave in to the calls of the heavens, Miichan braked the car into a very abrupt halt.

“I don’t really like the sound of me dying. But we’re here now, everybody out of the car!”

“Car stopped!,” Haruna said as she threw Takamina out of it in search of her prey. “Miichan time’s up get over here!”

“Sorry Haruna I don’t have time to die right now, we have stuff to do. I mean it! We have a deadline here people!

Takamina picked herself up off the floor and dusted remnants of Haruna’s rage off her.

“Miichan why aren’t you listening don’t you know your life is in danger?,” she asked. “Oh hey Shiichan,” she added when she saw
the girl standing off to the side.

“Oya Shizuka at your service Captain,” the girl replied.

“Yeah I know… I just said hey.”

“It’s Shichan! And her boat!,” Miichan said happily as she pushed everyone towards it.

“Actually it’s not mine,” Shiichan clarified. “It’s borrowed but I was told it was for a very important purpose so since you need it
driven somewhere…”

“Odaiba! Wedding hall!,” Miichan yelled.

Just before Haruna could get her hands on the girl her killing thoughts were interrupted by a rather high pitched call.


The Captain froze in place, her shoulders slumping immediately as she almost shrunk into herself.

“Mocchi,” she whispered.

“Mocchi why are you all in black?,” Haruna sighed as she watched the girl latch on to the captain automatically.

“I’m in mourning as its Takamina-san’s wedding day!”

“Hey!,” Miichan yelled impatiently. “I need you people to stop your talking and your crying… etc… and get on the damn boat!”

“Miichan,” Haruna started in a warning tone before she was pushed onto the vehicle along with everyone else.

“Get on it! You too Mariko. I may still have to marry you to set an example.”

When everyone was safely boarded and Shiichan was at the wheel, Miichan threw the rope off before jumping onto the boat

“Shiichan, engine! Punch it!”

Her wrong choice of words however quickly earned her a bruise for the next day.

“Dammit Haruna! What the hell?,” Miichan asked as she rubbed the sore spot. “Right in the face? Come on!”

“I told you I was gonna do it Miichan I told you!”

Meanwhile, Takamina was still dealing with the sniffling wreck in the form of a Mocchi attached to her side.

“Uh… tissue?,” she offered.

“You’re so thoughtful Takamina-san!,” Mocchi said as she snuggled closer.

“Umm I just offered you a tissue, why are you rubbing yourself on me?,” Takamina mumbled as her outstretched tissue was
ignored and Mocchi continued on with her delusional talk.

“You’re thoughtful and considerate and cute and… those ears… I love you Takamina-san! Why are you getting married to
Kojima-san? Why are there so many people in the way of our love? First all those not-so-important-members who admired you
from afar that I had to get rid of and then Atsuko-san… who scares me… and now… now… you’re getting married!”

“Yes ok… there there… if anyone is free to help, now is a good time,” Takamina said as she tried to pat Mocchi’s head in a way that
she hoped didn’t say ‘you have a chance, please attack me.’


Nearby, a determined pair continued on their mission…

“Onii-chan I need to borrow your scooter. That’s okay right?,” Atsuko asked, though she honestly didn’t care about the answer.

“Umm… sure!,” the man replied eagerly.

“Acchan what are you doing?,” Yuko asked nervously as she watched the girl get on expertly.

“Using the power of good looks to get my way. Get on we have a boat to catch!,” Acchan replied.

“But Acchan do you even know how to drive? No you don’t, no you don’t! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHH!!”

Moments later, the scooter stopped though Yuko’s screaming did not.   

“AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHH WE’RE GONNA DIE WE’RE GONNA DIE! I see my life and Nyan Nyan’s body flashing before my eyes
which are still currently tightly closed in fear of my death!”

“Yuko open your eyes for crying out loud your making our team look stupid.”

The squirrel replied by opening one eye experimentally, the other following quickly when she found her suspicions where correct.

“I’d know that annoyed scolding-esque voice anywhere… Sayaka it’s you! How did you get here? Did you fly? Am I dead? Are you
my Angel? Why isn’t it Nyan nyan?”

“Takamina may be the captain and ‘papa’ of AKB … but I’m her rightful wife!,” Atsuko said determinedly. “Children jetski’s stat!”

“Well you heard her Yukirin,” Sayaka said to the tall girl standing slightly behind her. “Let’s do this quickly… I don’t want to leave
Sae alone too long with your Mayuyu.”

“I feel the same way,” Yukirin agreed.

“Captains!,” barked Atsuko. “Follow that boat! Where are the jet skis? I already said stat!”

The two Captains shared a look and coupled sighs before mounting their jet skis and throwing life jackets at their passengers.

“Yuko! With me!,” Sayaka yelled over the roar of the engine.

“Yes Captain!,” the squirrel yelled back as she hopped on the back, trusting Sayaka completely.

“Atsuko-san, if you please,” Yukirin said as she held out a hand to Atsuko.

“Thank you Yukirin, you and Sayaka always serve me well in my times of need,” the Ace said as she gratefully took the
outstretched hand and seated herself comfortably behind Kashiwagi.

“Well we did help you get together with Takamina in the first place… it wouldn’t be right to let it end like this. Speaking of which
Atsuko-san, do you think the Captain would approve of my dating a … slightly younger member?”

“I’ll see what I can do. I’m sure Takamina can be talked into it. She can be talked into many things…”

“Umm hello can the A-B bonding please stop we have Nyan nyan and that midget to catch!,” Yuko said impatiently as she bounced
on the jet ski.

“Yeah, let’s go guys,” Sayaka agreed. “I get a bad feeling in my stomach when Yuko speaks sense.”


Back on the boat…

“Captain!,” Miichan yelled out as she saw the jet skis finally take off after them.

“What is it now Miichan?,” Takamina asked as Mocchi still weighed down on her.

“You are not the Captain of this boat!,” Miichan quipped back in annoyance. “Now sit down and be properly molested by Mocchi.
It’s the closest to a bachelor party as you’re gonna get. And you need one. Because you wear the pants. Because you are the man
of the relationship. Because you shave in the morning. And you don’t like to take baths with us.”

“I get what you’re trying to say! Geez!”

“Captain Shiichan!,” Miichan continued once she’d gotten the attention of the girl she wanted. “We have company! So steer the
boat like those people in the movies do except don’t crash it or kill any of us alright? Even Mocchi even though she’s just an extra.
Ok Shiichan? Don’t kill people.”

“Seriously? Jet skis?,” Mariko asked as she surveyed the situation.

“That Acchan is a powerful opponent,” Miichan said, pretending that Mariko had said something related and she was just agreeing
with it. “Takamina may be the ‘papa’, Acchan may be the Ace who can also call on the Captains… but I’m Gachapin dammit!”

“Miichan,” Haruna said in her warning tone.

“Don’t talk to her… she’s in her moment of glory,” Mariko said as she laid a hand on Haruna’s arm.

“Buy why Mari-chan?,” Haruna asked though she calmed down instantly. “Shiichan is the one driving the boat, Miichan is just
yelling things at her.”

“Go Shiichan! Drive it! Yeah! Boat driving!”

“I know Haruna. I know,” Mariko said as she nodded solemnly.

“Fine. I’ll wait a bit before I crush her.”

“Thanks Haruna. That’s thoughtful. I knew I could count on you.”

“But only because you asked me to Mari-chan.”

Takamina looked on the scene, though she was a lot more worried about herself than anything that could possibly be going on
with Mariko and Haruna. A hand on an arm was one thing but she had an entire Mocchi on her.

“Uhhh… guys… a little help please?,” the Captain tried asking again. “Anyone will do.”

“Just for tonight Takamina-san. No one has to know. Let’s become one!”

Umm it’s the middle of the day and everyone is sitting like two meters away from us Mocchi. I don’t think this is a good, or sane

Takamina what do you think you’re doing? Here we are… on a boat… heading for our wedding and you’re sitting there using your
mouth to try and run away from Mocchi who’s undressing and attached to your ears.

Takamina’s voice warms me up inside!

There you go Takamina. Are you happy now? Look what you’ve done with the use of your voice.

Ok… anyone but Haruna want to help me?

This is so awesome! When we get back from the wedding I’m totally gonna learn how to drive a boat!! Yeahh!!

Ok, anyone but Haruna or Miichan want to help me? Mariko? No? Shiichan? Still driving the boat. Ok. Sigh.

Takamina-san! Ah!

Mocchi… stop writhing. It looks strange and I’m not even touching you. My hands are on my head.

Get off my woman! Mocchi do you hear me?! Takamina is mine, she will marry me and no one else but me will have her babies. Do
you understand? No one else but ME!

I’m not a man! Wait. Oh my God. It’s Acchan. This isn’t good, she may have weapons. Miichan! Acchan is here and she possibly
has weapons with her what are we going to do?!

Boats are awesome! Screw your problems Takamina they’re always getting me stuck in weird situations. Just enjoy the boat, get
off the boat and get married! Avoid the weapons on your own!


Atsuko calm down, we’re on a jetski which is considerably less stable than a boat! Please stop rocking it in your moments of rage.

She’s mine you overly tall ear loving goof! Takamina is mine! We’re going to have kids! Four… five kids! At least! Get off my

Sayaka do something!  You’re the athletic ones, it’s our jobs to look cute and a lot of good that’ll do out here on the high seas!

We’re just in Tokyo Bay! And I would love to help you, really I would but I’m a little bit busy here myself. Yuko isn’t jetski trained.
Yuko! Yuko sit!

Nyan nyan can you hear my voice? I shall call to you louder. NYAN NYAN! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? Just wait a little longer! Yuko
is coming to save you from the wedding that I seemingly forced you into with my overly aggressive loving ways!

Not good not good Atsuko is calling someone! Sayaka!

I’m busy Yukirin!

Heh. Better watch out Harunyan she sounds serious.

Takamina the top button on your shirt is unbuttoned.

And you’re no longer wearing pants.

Oh crap… Mocchi!


You called for us?

What the hell so fast!

Hold still Sayaka. There’s flips to be made off this jetski!

Yuko if I’ve told you once then I’ve told you a thousand times. Don’t flip off moving jet skis!

Sorry Captain. A squirrel has got to do what a squirrel has got to do.

Oh my God she actually made it! Acchan no. No! Don’t even try it. Balance of nature ok? People who look pretty all the time
shouldn’t be able to make flips like that off jet skis ok? Don’t push your luck!

My Takamina is on that boat. I will flip if I have to. I will flip right off and then I’m going to flip Takamina off that boat. Do you
hear me?! Everyone get ready! I’m going to flip Takamina off!


You called for us Maeda-san?

Sashihara! I want you and the rest of the team to form a line towards that boat!

Shiichan’s boat?

It’s borrowed I don’t own a boat! … Why does everybody think that? Where would I get the money for a boat?

I really would love to help you Maeda-san but technically we only take orders from Takamina-san as she’s the official Captain of
our team…

“Is Sashihara being insubordinate Maeda-san?,” Jurina asked as she and Rena zoomed up to the group on their own jet skis.
“Should I take care of her for you? There are rules out at sea Sashihara!”

“Sorry about her,” Rena said to Sasshi. “She gets excited easily.”

Sashihara merely nodded, paying more attention to the two other Captains present. Despite Jurina’s  strange allegations,
Sashihara was one who took ranking very seriously.

“Sasshi there’s no ranking when it comes to love,” Sayaka began gently. “There is only threats, yelling and flipping people off.”

Atsuko nodded solemnly at Sayaka’s wise words. Signaling for Yukirin to bring their jet ski closer to Sashihara’s, she placed a hand
on the girl’s shoulder.

“I understand where you’re coming from Sashihara and I respect your loyalty towards my Minami but if you don’t organize the
team into a line towards that boat I will smack you in the face. Alright?”

“Yes Maeda-san.”

“Told you so Sasshi,” Jurina said smugly, forcing Rena to half bow in apology once again. “There are rules!”

“I got it I got it,” Sashihara replied. “There’s a gap here, move your SKE ass into it.”

When the jet skis were organized the way she wanted them to be, Atsuko gave a ‘the Ace is now ready, everyone watch why I’m
centre’ gesture and went for it with everything she had.

“Did she just run across the water over multiple jet skis?,” one of the younger girls asked in awe.

“You really think a powerful stalker like Mocchi could be bested by just anyone? There’s  a reason it’s ATSUmina.”


Finally making it to the object of her affections, Yuko threw herself onto the girl as soon as she could.


“That took you a considerable amount of time Yuko. Didn’t you flip off that jet ski like 10 minutes ago?,” Mariko asked with a sneer.

“Shut up Mariko! Nyan nyan I tried to get here sooner but somebody locked the boat so I tried to rock the boat but it was already
rocking because it’s a boat and we’re on water.”

“How did you get in?,” Haruna asked, her hand petting the squirrels head automatically.

“I picked the lock with this pick I usually use on your bedroom window.”

Haruna’s petting soon turned into smacking. Also automatically.

Moments later, another new comer joined the festivities.

“Kuramochi Asuka! Get your hands off my woman!,” Atsuko screamed, immediately forcing the black dressed girl off the Captain’s
lap, though her hands still held the shorter girl possessively.

“No! No! She’s getting married today! I must have her just once before this terrible fate befalls our love!”

“What the hell are you talking about? Who’s getting married? I never authorized a wedding!”

“You didn’t even know about it?,” Mocchi questioned in shock. “Today Takamina-san and her long secret love Kojiharu-san are
destined to be wed!”

“What?!,” Atsuko yelled out and followed it with some growling noises and finally a loud scream.

“That’s exactly what I said when I found out!,” Mocchi said.

“How did this happen?! Who did this?!”

“I also said that right afterwards! And then I wondered how you managed to let go of Takamina-san or how she managed to run
away and then I dressed all in black, followed Shiichan and then stowed away on her boat.”

“It’s not my boat!”


Miichan, still excited about their mode of transportation pointed towards the dock they were heading towards.

“Captain Shiichan! Land-Ho!”

Their captain however, much less excited than everybody else merely sighed in relief.

“Alright whatever everybody off. I have to return this thing before everyone finds out the idiot driving a million other idiots on a
boat followed by idiots on jet skis was me. My license will be revoked and nobody wants that. Two entire episodes were dedicated
to my getting it in the first place.”


When everyone was safely on dry land and Takamina was finally freed of Mocchi’s grabby hands, after Atsuko made some ‘I will
cut them off’ promises, the Captain once again attempted to dust herself off before addressing the… crowd that had gathered.

“Team A! Assemble!,” she yelled.

“Yes Captain!,” the girls answered in unison.

“That means you too Haruna,” Takamina said with a sigh. She so did not need attitude at that point. Not from her ex, not from her
stalker and certainly not from her ‘bride-to-be.’

“Yeah yeah. Stop telling me what to do Takamina, just because we’re going to be forced to get married to each other any minute
now. Let’s not forget that I’m still the leader of Persona and the usual centre of No3b.”

“That’s only so the trio photos balance out don’t let your ego get in the way of the truth!,” Miichan said angrily, though she was
mostly just angry that she was no longer on the boat.

“Don’t yell at me! I’m the bride! Yell at Takamina who didn’t even bother to propose!”

“Hold on,” Takamina said as several disappointed glances from the girls headed her way. “I don’t see how that can possibly be
held against me Harunyan I really don’t.”

“That’s right Takamina! I don’t believe you! You fake a relationship just because your real one was getting way too out of hand and
you don’t even bother to propose! What a chump,” Miichan said, once again letting her boat related anger get the best of her.

“She’s right Takamina, you are a real chump,” Haruna agreed easily.

“Team K! Assemble!,” Sayaka yelled out when she felt her Captain needed a tiny bit of a bail out.

“Yes Captain!,” Yuko… and more importantly Miichan replied before standing silently in front of her.

“Thanks Sayaka,” said gratefully.

“No problem,” the girl replied with a salute.

“Just so you know if any members of my team were actually hear I’d tell them to assemble for you too Takamina,” Yukirin said,
also throwing a salute Takamina’s way.

“Thanks Yukirin. I know I can count on you guys. Even though you did get on jetski’s and chase Shiichan’s boat across Tokyo Bay
to stop my wedding to Kojiharu.”

“About that wedding Takamina-san… perhaps you should just have it with me,” Mocchi began.

She may have been ripped off her love, but she had not yet been silenced. Atsuko said nothing about ripping her lips off.

“Mocchi ranking dictates that you should shut up,” Sasshi said as she elbowed the girl, being closest to her in the Team A line, she
felt that she was at least half way responsible for trying to keep Kuramochi alive. After all, their Ace as well as their tired Captain
were present.

“Thank you Sashihara,” Atsuko said from her place at Takamina’s side.

“Thank you for thanking me Maeda-san,” Sasshi replied.

“Suck up,” Mocchi mumbled under her breath.

“Shut up!”

“Everyone shut up,” Haruna barked. “I am the bride!”

“And I’m the one that will get to marry her because Takamina is a male chump!,” Yuko said with a grin.

“Hey!,” Takamina said with a frown as she once again had to mentally soothe her ego for the millionth time that day.

“I still love you baby,” Atsuko cooed.

While Team A, except Mocchi and Haruna ‘awwed’ naturally at the scene, Yuko took the opportunity to literally steal her girl away.

“Let’s go Nyan nyan!”

“Yuko! What are you doing? Where did you get that scooter?”

“I’m kidnapping you with this vehicle. I learned how to procure it from Acchan’s bag of good looking people tricks,” she replied
before turning towards the rest of the group. “Anyway BYE!”

“Takamina!,” Haruna yelled out. “As weird as it was it didn’t feel exactly right to leave the person she was supposed to be forced
into getting married to on the way to the altar…”

Just at that moment, a familiar car pulled up beside the Captain.

“Minami. Get in!”

“Mariko-sama? How did you get your car here?”

“I parked it on top of the boat.”


“Does it really matter? Get in the car Minami.”

“I’m going with you!”

“Acchan… my bride who has been forced upon me is getting away because her true love has stolen her from me. I think getting
her back is something that I should do on my own. And with Mariko-sama because she’s the only one here who can drive a car.
Everyone else can only drive boats, scooters and jet skis. Ok Acchan? Can you understand that for me?”

“Hell no Minami, you’re mine. If you’re getting in that car then so am I.”

“Me too!”

“No Mocchi stand down,” Sayaka said.

“Takamina-san is my Captain now! I’ll follow her anywhere!”

“Mocchi you stay here,” Takamina said.

“No! You’re my Captain now Takamina-san and I will LITERALLY follow you anywhere!”

“Geez. Sayaka, I’ll leave the rest of them to you?”

“We’ll make the trek up to the prepared wedding venue captain,” Sayaka said with a nod. “See you there!”

“Right Mariko, let’s go get my bride back.”

“How many do you need?,” Mariko asked nonchalantly as she put the car into gear.

“Don’t ask questions like that. Ray might show up.”

“Actually I already called her,” Miichan said as she sat in the front seat and clicked her seatbelt on. “She’s a bridesmaid.”

“Why are you even in the car?,” Takamina asked as she felt a strong headache coming on.

“Because Shiichan drove the boat away already. Besides, as if I’m walking there! It’s far!”


“Nyan nyan are you alright? Comfortable?”

“I can’t hear what you’re saying Yuko we’re on a scooter.”


“Your body language is becoming strangely, yet expectedly perverted. Hands on the steering and off your chest!”


Back in the car, Takamina was also having much expected problems.

“I told you to get off my woman!,” Atsuko once again yelled as she tried to swat Mocchi off the Captain.

“Things are fair game now that she’s engaged to be married to somebody else Atsuko-san! That makes you and I equal suitors for
Takamina-san’s love!”

“No we’re not! She’s MY woman. Everyone knows that! No one has touched her like I have!”

“Acchan please… you’re so embarrassing.”

“It can’t be true!,” Mocchi said as tears came to her eyes. “Tell me it isn’t true Takamina-san!”

“When all this is over you’re paying for my gas gachapin,” Mariko said as she and Miichan ignored what was happening in the

“Deal,” Miichan agreed. “If you pay for the wedding.”

“You actually planned a wedding?,” Mariko asked with a frown.

“What am I, cheap? No! I’m insane! Partly due to the two stars in the back seat and the two we’re chasing.”

“Which way do I go?,” Mariko asked as her GPS gave her more options than she could be bothered with.

“Follow the fireworks, they lighting up the sky any minute now,” Miichan replied, once again sticking her head and shoulders out
the window.

“It’s daylight. Just how much did you budget for this wedding?,” Mariko said as she drove with one hand and pulled the girl back
into the car with the other.

“What budget? This is a royal engagement!,” Miichan huffed.

“I’m not of royal blood. I’m pretty sure Haruna isn’t either,” Takamina said while the AtsuMocchi battle continued in the back seat.

“Oh,” Miichan said thoughtfully.

“Oh what?”

“Oh well then I should have probably budgeted.”

“Stop hitting me! And let me borrow your phone… I may have to sell it to help pay for the wedding if my call doesn’t go through.”

Mariko’s hand smacking Miichan’s forehead was interrupted by the ringing of another cell phone.

“Hello?,” Takamina tried to yell over the hysterical yelling and promises of death coming from either side of her.

“Captain,” the girl said as her voice rang through the receiver. “The fireworks are up to lead us and we are heading your way. The
scouts I’ve sent ahead have spotted the Kojiharu couple within sight of the wedding hell. I mean hall. Please make your way with
caution, we don’t know if the squirrel has laid traps.”

“Thank you Sashihara.”
“Captain K would also like to speak with you.”

“Sayaka? Status?”

“It’s as Sashihara reports Captain. But the troops here are actually waiting for your command.”


“Meaning… what do you want us to do? Stop the wedding? Start the wedding? Who’s wedding is it by the way? Are you actually
planning on getting married today?”


As the car pulled up to the wedding hall, the group stepped out to see ‘Yuko’s’ abandoned scooter outside the entrance.

When they entered however what they saw wasn’t the expected Kojiharu wedding but the Kojiharu couple… along with Sayaka,
Sashihara and the rest of the girls gaping as they stared up at the couples standing before the celebrant.

“Yes double wedding bonanza!!,” Miichan said as she high fived everyone. “Everyone say your congratulations to Itano Tomomi’s as in plural as well as Matsui Rena and Matsui Jurina… they got married too just in case anyone is wondering. It’s just that you
know… they started off with the same last name already and uh… yeah. Anyway!”

Silence filled the room before the MOST RESPECTED member decided to break it.

“Hold the phone!”
“Get a new catch phrase Takamina that one is just not gonna stick,” Haruna said with an eyeroll.

“Plus it’s stupid,” Miichan added.
“What’s going on? Aren’t we the main couples here?,” Yuko asked in panic. “Why are we not the ones getting married? I want to
get married to Nyan nyan! There are wedding nights after weddings!”

“Well after I realized that none of you guys are royal and uh I don’t actually have any money I called up Tomochin and Rena, who
apparently was already here, spun a tale about love and romance on the high seas, prompted them to propose and here we all are… at their weddings! Super bonus is that their dad’s will pay for everything. And the buffet. The buffet is also a bonus.”


At the wedding buffet.

“Can anyone still remember the days when we were normal?,” Takamina asked no one in particular.

“Yeah,” Haruna replied. “Those were the days.”

Takamina nodded.

“You know for the record,” added Takamina. “I don’t think I would have minded that much if I’d been forced to marry you Nyan
nyan. I mean, Atsuko would have stolen me away before the wedding night actually took place anyway.”

“I know Takamina. I feel the same way,” Haruna replied as she smiled at the girl. “Besides, Atsuko wouldn’t have been alone
anyway. Yuko would have been there to help.”
Closeby an annoyed Gachapin surveyed her No3b counterparts.

“Yeah and everyone forgets Miichan. Freaking jerks.”

Just before she could storm off, a hand on her shoulder forced her to sit back down and  a set of keys were thrown into her lap.

“What’s this?,” Miichan asked asked as she received a glass of wine from Mariko who sat beside her.

“Keys,” the older girl replied.

“To your car?,” Miichan continued to question just to receive a headshake in response. “No way! No way no way!”

“Yes way,” Mariko said with a smirk.

“You know there’s only one thing left to do now right Mariko?”

“Of course,” Mariko agreed.

“To the boat mobile!," Miichan said before stopping for a moment. "But first finish that drink Mariko. This is going to take courage."

There endeth the story.

If you read this all the way to the very end... I'd like you to know that I'm surprised and thankful :D

So thank you.


If you read it and liked it... come with me to Japan on a Takamina hunt! For you and I would no doubt get along. Muahahahahahahah!!!

... And also I was there last weekend but I failed to spot her and therefore was sad :(

Offline anoni2

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2011, 02:00:19 PM »
wow that as long funny and hilarious  :shocked  :rofl:


getting married

stalkers and all.

bride taken away the chase  hahaha that was a jjang XD

Still shipping them early pairs. 1st generation ftw!

Editing in progress ~ T's and J's
SRO(Their Journey)

Offline immortal_K

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  • Welcome to Immortal's world.
Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2011, 02:05:55 PM »
This is so funny, I laugh all the way till the end,

Stalkers, speeding car, jetski + boat chase, scooter and car race


in the end they didn't even get married.

Offline blughise

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2011, 02:17:35 PM »
THat's freaking awesome!!! XD
I was laughing the whole time!!! :rofl:
I so totally would want to go Takamina hunting with you!!!
I really love this story!!!! AWESOME
I kinda want more...if you can

Offline Ninjatigerdemon

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2011, 03:46:00 PM »
This is the best oneshot that I have ever read
I was laughing so much that I started crying

It had everything that I wanted to read about
No ordinary ninja.

Offline kahem

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2011, 06:18:40 AM »
A crazy awesome fic!!!! You made me laugh during the entire reading!!! Rofl
Wedding, pursuit race, boat, captain, crazy members, stalkers... Ect just so LOL

Offline TakahashiJ

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2011, 09:20:33 PM »
It's so epic! Very long fic LOL. Funny as well

Offline aoi_sora

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2011, 03:59:56 PM »
i think i read this on tumblr and i'm laughing so hard!  :rofl:

specially with Shiichan and her... "the boat is not mine!" thing!  :rofl:

Mocchi too!

and Sayaka + Yukirin!  :rofl:

 write more! ^_^

Offline dee1711

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2011, 01:28:15 AM »
You. I still can't believe it, ya know????? I can't believe is WAS you! I read the fic and I was like "OMG OMG OMG, this is so familiar. This writing style is SO familiar." ok, I should stop. Just so let you know that I love it. as I always do.

Thank you so much for this. I enjoyed it.

Offline Japanime1

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  • AtsuMina biased. ;)
Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2011, 03:55:10 PM »
You know, it's been a while since I actually sat myself down and devoted time to actually read a fic.

A little birdie above me told me to come read this after finding out it's from one of my favorite authors...boy am I glad I listened.

Well done. I've been cracking up from start to finish at every line ide. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Let's have our own wedding and then spend our honeymoon stalking Takamina y/y? XD

Offline marisado

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2012, 01:49:41 PM »
 :lol: We need more crazy fics like this!  :peace:

Offline AshuraX

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #11 on: August 27, 2013, 10:22:03 AM »
Simply. Epic!!!!

I just love Yuko and Atsuko's possessiveness over their pair and dude that's HELLA random!!! It's so random I'm laughing my ass off at every joke and non-joke XD

I don't know if the writer is here anymore or not, but he's awesome. Ya've got meh respect! OAO

Offline Shinoki

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2013, 10:33:02 PM »
Altrox-san, I'm pretty sure I've read some of your other fics...
but this is awesome!!
As Atsumina isn't in my top 3 pairings, for me to be so doki doki... excited is amazing~
hope ya write more

Offline diamond kirara

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  • I like Atsumina,Takayuu and takamina
Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2013, 06:12:43 PM »
Lol this is random but funny I like acchan and yuko possesiveness

Offline lossc

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Re: Love. Life. Laughs. A/M Y/H +++
« Reply #14 on: October 15, 2014, 12:26:43 AM »
it's crazy and i like it!!
the scenes are so lively that they actually appeared in my brain XD
thank for this crazy one!!

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