hello there, its been a long time since I updated so.....yeah.
AP classes are something that I don't recommend. they have you doing homework everyday......but finally
I got time...so yeah.....
enjoy...
Just you…
Walking without a path; just going to the streets heading somewhere unknown. Where my feet would take me, where every noise of the busy street would be forgotten, and where everyone disappears.
I’ll let myself be free, even if in reality I’m trap in a cage. I’ll let my memories run wild. I’ll let my heart go with you, for which I have given up on getting it back.
I keep walking north; just the star up above when night hits. The breeze of the cold air makes my shiver but I make no noticeable reaction. I see people laughing and talking in the street and some that for some reason are unhappy. I keep looking ahead not looking back. I’m sure this is the beginning of the end, but….i want you to stay….darling…
The sunshine hits my face as I’m about to step away from the city….
Memories of those times when we were together flowing in like water. Your eyes, your smiles, your lips, all plastered in my mind. I can’t take them away and throw them down. My arms swing as I walk and I can feel the breeze come in between my fingers and I feel more than alive. My first time in a long while.
I look up and the sky is clear, no clouds at all. Yet I feel like there is a thunderstorm. I pick up dust as I go through the grassless terrain. The city is long-lost forgotten and with it she goes. My head up high, and my hopes for a new start, low in the ground.
I feel a new sensation building up, but I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s a ray of happiness that I have waited for so long.
I keep walking without looking back. The breeze plays with my short light brown hair like if it were a little curious kid. I can’t take this anymore. I have to let go….but I can’t say good-bye.
It’s been two years now, do you still remember me? Do you still call my name below the moonlight? Everything has change since you left, yet I have stay in the same time period of when you broke the crystal clock. I still whisper your name when I feel lonely, when I’m cold, when I’m walking in the streets at night. I let the rhythm flow but I just get back to the nosy of the past.
I told you once that I’ll give you my heart if I could have yours, but that didn’t work. You took my heart and I kept nothing but dust.
Once I told myself that you were just another one…I was wrong, you were the one.
“I never thought that I would meet a person like you” a whisper scape from the lips of the older girl.
“I never thought I would fall in love” the younger girl caressed the older girl’s check with such affection that anyone would have mistaken them for a newlywed couple.
Walking as the minutes pass without me worrying what time is. Nor do I care if I come back late or leave without a note.
I still remember the day we meet, it was like any other day, but something made it special. I don’t know what it was but….I keep glimpsing at you and every time you moved I moved. We were in a library searching for the same book…well at that time we didn’t know until our hands reach for that book, Infinity. I smiles and let you have it, yet I told you that I also needed that book for my class. I still remember what we negotiated after that, you told me that when you were finish you will give it to me, so we exchange numbers and the day after that, at night, I texted you. That’s how all the magic started, just because of the book.
You know, I never actually wanted to read that book, it wasn’t my thing.
Days passed and we kept on talking to one another, and then weeks; were we just ended up together. We were both together and I was happy and at least you…seemed happy as well. We started like any other couple. I still had the idea that you were just another girl but after that time…I knew we were meant for each other.
Unfortunately, my parents sent me to China to study for four years… I should have opposed, but I couldn’t. They didn’t know about us, so they would have question me further if I did opposed. I knew you were sad but you demonstrate otherwise. I wanted to tell you that it was for a short time but I knew that it was impossible.
My fist months in China we talked every day no matter what, and if I had homework or had a project due the next day we still talked. Then I began to notice about two years later that you began to drift away. I didn’t know why but I know it hurt me. I had no right to tell you about why you began to drift away if I was in another place. Very far from you.
About my third year there I graduated early because of my high grades and my skills.
I still remember that day like if it was yesterday; which brings tears to my eyes.
I’m still waking in no apparent direction, the sun still beating in my skin but I find comfort in it. I guess tear have form in my eyes and they also have fallen down because I feel something wet in my cheeks. I look up I head and I see nothing but desert.
The day I return I went to our favorite park; I was planning how to surprise you. The sun was almost down and it made beautiful scenery like the ones from dramas and what not. I was smiling while I was there sitting maybe some people thought I was crazy for smiling so much.
I saw someone coming my way with another person, they seem happy. Like a newlywed couple. As they got closer I could see that they were holding hands like I did with you, that thought gave me a grin, but soon it would have disappeared. As that couple got closer I thought it was you, that person looked like you but probably from my urge to see you I began to see things.
I could not believe my eyes when I saw you with him. It was YOU. I wanted to hide somewhere or run away. I didn’t want to believe my eyes. My heart stop beating for a second or too; I felt so much pain. I wanted my body to move from that bench but I couldn’t. I was paralyzed.
I saw you walked pass by me. ME. I saw you too being happy and all. I wanted to punch him for holding your hand; that hand that I used to hold with such affection.
You pass by me like if I wasn’t there. I know you saw me for a second. I felt your eyes on mine.
I knew who that man was; he was that doctor that you always went to. Dr. Watanabe, I hate that man from the bottom of my heart.
Sometime passed and well, I went to look for you and your parents told me you weren’t leaving with them anymore that you were leaving with him. I cried that night, I didn’t knew if I did something wrong or something; I just felt impotent. I search for you and when that day came, you told me that you didn’t love me anymore, but I could see in your eyes the contrary. You also told me that you guys were going to get married. I didn’t care…I kissed you anyways. i knew from that kiss that you still loved me.
Later days, my friend Sayaka told me that your parents engage you with that Doctor.
The day before you got married, I talked to you. I wanted to change your mind, to run away with me, but I guess that didn’t work because you slapped me. That hurt me, not physically but emotionally. I had never had some hit me or slapped me. It hurt even more because it was from you. That day, I regretted everything, my love for you, my thoughts, my actions, and my life.
Now, I’m here walking without direction. Just walking and letting the wind pass thru my finger. Letting the rhythm flow.
“I guess nothing last forever…I might as well keep on walking until my legs can do no more” the girl looks up ahead. The sun hits hard on her skin now. Her hair all
ruffled up and her tears are the only ones that cool off her skin.
“Maybe she is just another girl but….she was the one I truly love and she will forever be.”
Her phone rings and it’s an unknown number, she picks up…and…
“Hello, Sae?” that voice, the one that hurt that girls heart. She froze in spot, she didn’t knew what to do; should she answer or hang up.
“I know it’s you….Yuko gave me your number. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I regret everything that I did. My decision was a mistake….i’m sorry.” The girl in the other line was sobbing.
“I know it’s too late but I still love you. I just love you…..Sae”
Sae was crying now, she couldn’t believe it. After 2 years she calls her and asks for her forgiveness.
“Sae….I love you”
The girl name Sae wiped her tears and slowly looked at her phone and dropped it.
I walked without destination and never looking back.
If only she could have done it earlier….I would have accepted…just for you….just you….but its too late already.
I love you...just you…
yeah don't hate me....i'm tiered now...
.....until the day comes.....