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Author Topic: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL [chapter 3 <24/5/2013>]  (Read 9885 times)

Offline m00nchild

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WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL [chapter 3 <24/5/2013>]
« on: May 08, 2013, 10:12:16 AM »
Takamina a highschool girl that go all out on doing anything.
Acchan is a witch that like to play,
Sado a Ace of the devil clan who royal to her lord,
KojiHaru a normal highschool girl.
Yuko a flame devil who likes to go to the human world,
Tomochin an Angel who always against the rule and like to be cool,
Tomomi a witch that always help Acchan,
Gekikara a Devil who just like to kill,
Rena a high school girl who shy but kind.
Jurina a energetic highschool girl known as Rena's younger sister,
Centre the Ace of angel clan whos the most powerful angel,
Yuki a high school girl that always kind and friendly,
Mayu 3rd ace angel who love to taking care of a lot of things,
Black a devil who partner with Gekikara,
(will have more character)

this is my first try,
dozo yoroshiku onegaishimasu!
I try to do my best for it.
« Last Edit: May 23, 2013, 08:33:44 PM by m00nchild »

Offline cisda83

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2013, 10:26:22 AM »
WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL

Interesting...

Lots of characters...

So Rena and Geki are two separate people... the same for Center and Jurina... and also Black and Yuki

Can't wait to see how you are going to start the story

Thank you for the intro

 :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs

Offline kuro808

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2013, 10:29:47 AM »
Great cast of characters
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Offline leEwẬy

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2013, 10:57:05 AM »
Interesting characters :ding:
Gekikara is seperated from Rena and also Center - Jurina, Black - Yuki :on gay:
How about Nezumi - Mayu :wahaha:
Angels, Devils and Witches :nya:
I think your fic will have a lot of twist since the couples were in diferrent side :kekeke:
Atsumina: Acchan is a witch while Takamina is a human
WTomo: Tomomi's a witch and Tomochin's an angel
Mayuki: Mayu's an angel and Yuki's a human
I can't decide WMatsui yet :frustrated:
But after all, I think it'll be an interesting fic :on lol:
Update soon, please :kneelbow:
Working on translating an awesome Kojiyuu fanfic, right now ☆〜(ゝ。∂) :mon beam:

Offline ashiya

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2013, 12:53:27 PM »
Best cast ever~
Devil and Angel... Human too  :D

Great prologue and characters  :w00t:



So what do we have, Geki&Rena; Yuki&Black; Jurina&Centre...

Minami as a student and she'll meet witch Acchan (somehow I dont think it'll be Atsumina  :?)
Sado sama  :twothumbs
WTomo???

So it gonna be GekiBlack, and WMatsui are related

No WMatsui :cry:   but Sado and Centre, two aces of different clans lol
Ha Mayuki? Mayu loves Yuki? See many AngelxHuman out there  XD

You said it would be more characters, hope to see JurinaxSomeone pairing  :roll:
PU•RE•PUREPA  PU•RE•PUREPA  PU•RE•PUREPA  WARETE BARI BARI
PU•RE•PUREPA  PU•RE•PUREPA  PU•RE•PUREPA

Offline mo-chan

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2013, 01:17:16 PM »
looks interesting :D

Mayuki&WMatsui
Jurina is my oshi forever!! (>w<)/
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Offline Elo

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2013, 01:39:27 PM »
lookes interesting hehe update

who do you pair up I hope Atsumina and Kojiyuu

but it is your decision so do as you like hehe
Love AKB
             ~TakaYuu~
                           ~AtsuMina~
                                          ~KojiYuu~
                                                      ~TomoTomo~
                                           ~MariMii~
                           ~Wmatsui~
             ~MaYuki~

Love this Pairing
                                And more ^^

Offline ptrd3009

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2013, 01:48:49 PM »
i hope kojiyuu atsumina and tomotomo :cathappy:

Offline noel nguyen

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2013, 06:20:54 PM »
Rena - Geki, Black - Yuki, Center - Jurina they are two seperate people or they are one???
I hope they are two people different. Because I like Geki - Yuki is a one couple and Mayu - Center too.

Offline m00nchild

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2013, 06:57:24 PM »
@ALL : thanks for the support, I will be update the 1st chapter on friday (GMT +8),
And I will try to update new chapter at every friday (GMT +8),
hope I can do it! But I will try my best with it,
if any confusing or not understanding please let me know,
due that I write there will be more character,
if everyone who wanted which character to be add in please inform me,
I will try my best to add in!
But I would like to let everyone know that I'm not good on love story, and I will try my best to write a good one.

@noel nguyen : Rena,Yuki & Jurina is human, Black,Geki is devil, Center is Angel...

Offline mayuki_daisuki

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2013, 08:41:57 PM »
this sounds so good :deco: please update soon :cow: :bow:
My kami-oshi is Mayuyu, and my oshimen is Oku Manami.

Offline noel nguyen

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2013, 06:10:04 PM »
OMG, Whattttttt? But this ok, I love it :D

Offline m00nchild

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL (Chapter 1)
« Reply #12 on: May 09, 2013, 08:14:55 PM »
Chapter 1
The  War

Devil Side ;
Devil Lord (D.L) : the time has come the war that I waited for 300 years.
Sado : My lord the angel seem haven't prepare for the war yet, should we strike them first.
D.L : Sado my dear dont be too rush, we need to do some planing before we strike.
Gekikara : hehehee~ my lord why we need to plan? we should just strike in and KILL all the Angel.
Black : I agree with Geki my lord, we should just rush in and Kill all of them.
Sado : BLACK! when did you come in?
Black : Before Geki here I already here.
D.L : All my dear, u didnt known well of the Angel Lord (A.L), he is not a stupid angel.
Sado : My lord, What should we do?

Angel Side;
Angel Lord (A.L) : My dear Angel have you prepare for the war?
Centre : My lord our angel have well prepare for the war comes.
Tomochin : My lord seem that devil have more troops then we have, should we do a sneak attack?
Mayu : Dont worry Mayuyu will take care of all the injury troops~
A.L : Mayu you was very kind but war is not suitable for you.
Centre : Lord is right, Mayu you should stay in the palace.
Mayu : But I want to fight too~
A.L : When the time comes you will fight.

(A reporter come in)
Reporter : Report My lord the devil have ready to strike in, they already grouped infront of the place level 1 defence, at least have 7000 troops, report finish.
A.L : Annous to the level 1 citizen call them retreat to level 2, and level 1 defence team keep defence kill them as much as possible.
*20 minutes later*
Reporter : report My lord, Level 1 defence have lost, we lost 500 troops, report finish
A.L : how many unit they lost?
Reporter : around 1500 unit my lord!
A.L : prepare for battle, Centre you bring 1500 troops with strike them from the east, Tomo you take 1500 troops strike them from the west, we cannot be fail.
Tomo & Centre : Yes My lord.


*meanwhile in the battle field*
Geki : heehee~ okotteru? *slice*(angel screem)
Black : Geki dont over do it, remember what D.L told us.
Sado : Black, watch your back! *shoot a arrow to the one who attack Black*
Black : Thanks, Sado!
Sado : Black dont be too careless, we are striking their palace.


*flashback*
Sado : My lord, What should we do?
D.L : My dear, as the A.L I know we will lure us to strike them all out, after that close the way we retreat after that and clear us off. Secure your back for retreat if they overcome us.
Sado,Black & Geki : yes, my lord.
D.L : prepare for the attack, Sado you bring 3000 with you strike from the front, Black & Geki bring 2000 guard for the left and right in case there is a sneak attack.
*back to the Battlefield*
(meanwhile when attacking in the level 2 defence)
*BOOM*
Sado : Is a TRAP!! TEAM FALL BACK!!
Centre : seem that A.L plan is working.
Geki : hee~hee~ not so fast~
Centre : GEKI!! (dash, give a hit on Geki right face make her fly 10 meter far)
Geki : hee~hee~ Nee Okotteru? (draw out her deathscythe out)
Centre : Over this 50 years we have found each others, keep fighting reach others for so many years, you still haven’t change at all, Today I will take revenge for the angel that killed by you. *ARGGG!!* (draw out her sword)


*in other  side of battle field*
Tomochin : *cough**cough* this kind of appear is so uncool
Troops : General there is the enemy!
Tomochin : I KNOW THAT! prepare to die devil! (Wear her glove)
Black : Watch your mouth angel. (at the back of Tomochin)
when Tomochin turn her view suddenly feel a hit on stomach. Black give her a sidekick make Tomochin fly 5m far.
Troops : General!!
Black : What u wanted to do ANGEL? (draw her dual dagger)
Tomochin (while standing up) : wow... you was fast, but I wont lose in speed too. (whisper)*seal release 40%*

Suddenly Tomochin dissapear, was infront of Black and give a punch on Black but Black reached fast enough to block the attack, due that Tomochin glove was not a normal glove it have boom effect, and *BOOM* (the glove wont hurt it own owner)
Black get boomed and step back around 2m.
Black : Not bad, What's your name angel?
Tomochin : Tomochin, What's about you devil?
Black : you don't need my name, CAUSE YOU GOING TO DIE SOON!!! (Dash to Tomochin)
Tomochin : YOU JERK (Dash to Black too)
*both of them went to a highspeed dual*
Devil & Angel troop cant even see who was in the upperhand.


*back to Centre & Gekikara*
Centre : ARG!!! ATTACK!!!
Geki : hee~hee~ go kill as much as you guys want my little devil~
Troops : YAH!! CHARGE!!
Centre : I wont let you go Geki!!
Geki : nee~nee~ okotteru? (lick the blood on her scythe)
Centre : YOU MONSTER!! (whisper) *Seal Release 40%*
In a blink of eye Centre already reach infront of Geki and used Inferno Slash,make Geki wound very badly.
Geki : hahaha~ nee okotteru? (swing her scythe around have killed few angel & devil troops, and her wound have regen)
Centre : *stun* how come you kill your own troops!
Geki : hahaha~ see that I have to go all out~ hee~hee~
Centre : I will get revenge for those angel who die in your hand! (dash to Geki)
Geki : hee~hee~ blood is what I seek for~ (dash to Centre too)
*both of them have a powerful blow battle*
Those troops who around them sudden burst because of the pressure.


*back to the front gate*
Sado : Seem that lord plan was going well so we can do it, CHARGE!!
Suddenly a lot of laser beam to Sado area,Sado evade those laser beam but kill some devil troops.
Sado : whose there?
Mayu : Watanabe Mayu, the leader of Magical Team!
Sado : Just a tiny magician, eat this ARROW RAIN.
Mayu : team A use electronic shield protect the city, team B heal those wounded troops, I have a battle to do.
Mayu cast some thunder to strike Sado, but Sado fast enough to evade.
Sado : you tiny! (shot multi bomb arrow)
Mayu use magic shield block all the arrow and return fire with ice bolt.
*both having a range battle ARROW  VS MAGIC*

-TBC-
not understand or too short. writing sytle not good enough please let me know,
I will try to make it better,
please criticize my fiction... I like bad comment!

Offline kuro808

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL
« Reply #13 on: May 09, 2013, 10:21:22 PM »
The first attack was pretty much a combination of melee and magical aspects.

The concept whoever does win will suffer more casualties than expected. :nervous
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Offline Shinoki

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL [chapter 1]
« Reply #14 on: May 10, 2013, 02:36:34 AM »
it's written like how I usually write drabbles....
so it's a bit strange, but I got really interested...
but yeah... angels and devils are old people oba-chan.......
so humans don't show up til later.....?
gekikara rock!
tomochin is speed? I always got the hot blooded girl in my head in those action fanfic cuz of shibuya...
Black is interesting~
It's like the opening of an RPG though....

Offline noel nguyen

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL [chapter 1]
« Reply #15 on: May 10, 2013, 04:47:29 AM »
All character in this fic, they are all female or male and female??

Offline cisda83

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL [chapter 1]
« Reply #16 on: May 10, 2013, 11:40:07 AM »
Very interesting fic there

Good dialogs... but no detail whatsoever about the actions or the plots...

just a simple sentence here and there.... I want more detail...

It's like drabbles...

Or it's like a trailer of movie...

But very exciting when reading the story

Different from most of the fic that I've read...

Anyhow, can't wait to find out what happen next

Thank you for fic...

 :twothumbs  :twothumbs
« Last Edit: May 10, 2013, 03:51:35 PM by cisda83 »

Offline leEwẬy

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL [chapter 1]
« Reply #17 on: May 10, 2013, 03:39:20 PM »
Oh! War between Angel and Devil in the first chapter :on spit:
Very interesting :on gay:
Tomochin was speed like Black :shock: I thought she'll use fire :wahaha:
Mayu uses Magic and fight with Sado who uses Arrow :ding:
Gekikara's and Center's fight too awesome :on GJ:
So they've fighted each other for 50 years, so long :grr:
And who's the angel that Gekikara'd killed? :dunno:
Can't wait to continue reading about the Angel's and Devil's War :tantrum:
Update soon, please :kneelbow:
Working on translating an awesome Kojiyuu fanfic, right now ☆〜(ゝ。∂) :mon beam:

Offline mayuki_daisuki

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL [chapter 1]
« Reply #18 on: May 10, 2013, 08:07:16 PM »
this so exciting :cathappy:
mayuyu is magical girl woohoo! :cow:
oh my geki is scary :shocked that poor poor angel :sweatdrop:
thanx for the update :deco: :bow:
My kami-oshi is Mayuyu, and my oshimen is Oku Manami.

Offline Rena-chan Daisuki

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Re: WORLD of ANGEL & DEVIL [chapter 1]
« Reply #19 on: May 11, 2013, 04:06:39 AM »
it's pretty interesting
but it need a little bit more detail
'cause when i read it i kinda confuse a little

but in the end it still nice
good job for it :thumbsup

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