A/N: The idea came to me…When Aki-p had finally agreed about Yuko’s possible graduation…soon… I think and also dedicated these to my two good friends whose celebrating yesterday or is it the day before… er… I don’t know anymore -.- Happy Seventh
Only for a Day
From: Oshima Yuko
Subject: We Did It!
Date: Sun, 11/03, 07:03
Good morning!
Seven months today, Nyannyan! When you look at it like that, it doesn’t seem too bad, right? We’re doing really well so far.
So how was everyone doing…? I hardly get any email from them lately. Except Bakamina, but only when it’s 5am and she’s a little loopy from writing all night. I don’t know what she’s talking about. I don’t even know if she knows what she’s doing either!
Hey, you’ve been counting the days too, right? Tell me it’s not just me.
Love,
Your Yuu-chan.
To: Oshima Yuko
Subject: Re: We Did It!
Date: Sun, 11/03, 07:16
There’s not too much news over here only Yukirin had a bit of an argument over Mayu falling asleep again one night after promising a good dinner date, and now Yukirin’s doing some kind of silent protest. Or, well, I think she is. It’s Yukirin, so it’s hard to tell.
If Takamina’s bothering you at 5am, I’ll tell her to stop. You need to get your rest! I’m sure you’re already working too hard as it is.
Well, I’d better get ready for work. I love waking up to your emails! It really encourages me to do my best every day.
It’s 11pm there, so I guess you’ll be going to bed soon, if you’re not asleep already. Good night!
Love,
Your Nyannyan
It wasn’t until after I just had pressed the send button that l realized my mistake. If Takamina was sending Yuko her messages at 5am Tokyo time, then Yuko would be getting them at 6, 7, 8… 9pm Paris time. It wouldn’t be a bother to her at all. Ugh…this is really annoying I just waste a precious text talking about something irrelevant, I thought. Letting it go I tried to shake it off out of my head and instead set myself to get dressed for work.
As the day passed in a blur, as it always did. My mood seems kind of improving, and the atmosphere during practice were as fun and stimulating as ever, but of course as always my mind is still fixed from the cell phone in my pocket, heavy and silent. I came to wish fervently that Yuko would have a sleepless night and email me to work through her insomnia. Then I would feel guilty, and chide myself for my selfish childishness, though I wouldn’t take back the wish.
From: Oshima Yuko
Subject: Whoa!
Date: Mon, 11/04, 07:22
One day I’ll take you to the Arc de Triomphe! It’s shameful, but today is the first time I saw it up close since I’ve been here. It was really cool! We shot some footage right underneath it. I don’t know if I gave it my best, since I was too busy staring!
So, hey, tell me about work. Did you know that French people like cheese so much too xD? Ha ha! But of course I’d rather eat your special homemade omurice every night! Because I know it’s only made just for me!
It’s really weird though, emailing each other when it’s so late for me and so early for you. I feel like we must be in such different worlds… Ha ha ha.
You’re busy, getting ready to go to work. And I’m just here in my room, with nothing to do.
I miss you, Nyannyan. Do you miss me?
Love,
Your Yuu-chan
To: Oshima Yuko
Subject: Re: Whoa!
Date: Mon, 11/04, 07:56
Sorry, Yuu-chan! I was in the shower. I thought I had my phone volume up really loud, but I must’ve forgotten to turn off the silent mode, I hope this isn’t going to wake you up.
I’m so jealous that you get to see all of these amazing things! One day you have to show me all of the sights, okay?
Work is going well, thank you! Takamina is a little harsh to me during practice again, but I know she only does that because she wants me to become a good senior. I’m just happy that she has faith in me.
Sleep well tonight, Yuu-chan. It’s good that we can say good morning and good night to each other.
Love,
Your Nyanyan
Running a little late this morning, I rushed off to work with that last email fresh in my mind.
I wished I could go and see Yuko, the way we casually talked about yet never actually discussed. But we both knew that there were too many barriers. I would have to get that time off work, which was difficult enough. And even if I did manage it, she wouldn’t be able to do the same. And then I would just be bothering her while she was supposed to be working.
Yuko always asked these little questions: Have you been counting the days? Do you miss me?
And I always ignored them, and replied as if they had never been said at all. Because how could I answer truthfully? Yes was too small and too weak a word to fully express the extent to which I missed her, the obsessive counting and re-counting of the days in any spare moment of my time. The truth was a much bigger, tangled, ugly thing, and something that I absolutely could not share. Yes was meaningless.
So I said nothing.
From: Oshima Yuko
Subject: Nyannyaaaaan!
Date: Mon, 11/04, 22:38
Surprised? Ha ha!
In a lunch meeting right now, though I’m starting to suspect that it was just an excuse to get drunk in the middle of the day! The French really know how to live, right? Ha ha ha!
Are you at home right now? Are you free? Would it be okay if I called you? I bet I can slip away for a few minutes. These people won’t even notice!
You know, you’ve been a little cold lately. Don’t you think? Why don’t you email back and tell me that you love me? Say, “Hello, my name is Kojima Haruna and Oshima Yuko is the most awesome girlfriend in the world.” Ha ha! Then I can show it to these people and make them all super jealous!
Wow, I am really tipsy.
It’s kinda
To: Oshima Yuko
Subject: Re: Nyannyaaaaan!
Date: Mon, 11/04, 22:47
Ha ha, Yuu-chan! I think you hit the send button too early.
Looks like meetings in France are way more fun than in Japan, huh? Be careful not to drink too much, though it might be too late to say that!
We’re working for another concert right now, so I can’t really talk on the phone. Not without an audience. Maybe some other time?
Everyone says hi, by the way!
Love,
Your Nyanyan
I sighed and put the phone down, turning my attention back in mixing my drink. That had really thrown me off, getting an unscheduled email from Yuko in the middle of the night when I was most desperately trying not to think of her.
Cold, she had called me. Maybe that was true. But then what was the alternative? An outpouring of pathetic emotion that would only make her felt guilty or annoyed or otherwise distracted from her job.
No, better to keep going forward as I had been. Keep everything inside, where it couldn’t hurt anyone.
Be positive, be there for her, and be strong. That was the mantra.
From: Oshima Yuko
Subject: Re: Re: Nyannyaaaaan!
Date: Mon, 11/04, 23:01
Seriously, so cold! -3- Right now I need you to be like Okinawa, and you’re being like Hokkaido! Oh well, I’ll forgive you, since you’re my cute wife Nyannyan.
I’d better get back to the “meeting” anyway.
You know, you don’t have to let Bakamina drag you into something you’re not! You’re already working so hard so that’s fine. I can’t help feeling a little worried about you. But I trust your judgments, Nyannyan. As long as you’re happy!
Loooooooove,
Your Yuu-chan
I didn’t even realize I had another email until I had left the bar for the night after practice and was walking towards the train station.
It was a fairly innocuous message, but, by the end of it, I felt something inside me - something strained and brittle…
.
.
.
*SNAP*
To: Oshima Yuko
Subject: [no subject]
Date: Mon, 11/04, 23:48
You asked if I was counting the days…? The answer is NO! No, I don’t count the days. I count the minutes, I count the seconds, every FREAKING one of them, because I can’t help it, I can’t escape them.
Do I miss you? I can’t STAND thinking about you. Yet it’s all I can do. As long as I’m happy, you said? I’m NOT happy, Yuu-chan. I’m miserable, and angry, and alone. I hate talking to people, to anyone, because I only want to be talking to you.
But you think this is easy? Those seven months just flew by? Whatever world you’re living in, I want to live there! I want to be able to go about my life, just only for a day, and not think about you at all. I want to forget you. Only for a day. Just a day when I can breathe again. A day. That’s what I want. That’s all I want.
She hasn’t replied.The next morning, I woke up with a feeling in my gut far more nauseating than any hangover. I hadn’t been drunk - I ’d only had a couple of drinks at the end of the night; I hadn’t said anything wrong - I had just reached my limit and lashed out at her for no reason.
To: Oshima Yuko
Subject: Hey..
Date: Tue, 11/05, 06:00
Good evening, Yuu-chan
Ugh. I’m up so early, even though it’s a Tuesday and it’s my Day Off! It’s nice to be able to relax sometimes, huh? Are you free today, too? Or I guess I mean tomorrow. You’re Tuesday. Maybe we could try that phone call?
I love you.
Your Nyannyan
To: Oshima Yuko
Subject: By The Way
Date: Tue, 11/05, 07:03
I’m sorry about last night. I must’ve had waaaay too much drink at the bar. I think I said some weird stuff, but you can’t trust what a drunken person says, right? Anyway, you should just ignore all of it.
Love
Your Nyannyan
To: Oshima Yuko
Subject: An Idea!
Date: Tue, 11/05, 10:36
Sorry, I know it’s really late over there. I just feel weird about last night still….
I had an idea how I can make it up to you, though. How about a Punishment Game? You can tell me what to do… anything - Anything - and I have to do it! Go ahead, Yuu-chan! Do your worst! Hee hee!
Love
Your Nyannyan
Seven unanswered emails later and I’m beginning to feel like a stalker.
When I tried calling Yuko on the pretense of being able to say good morning at her local time of 9am, I was met with nothing but a beeping tone and the message that her phone was currently unavailable; the fluttering nervousness in my stomach turned to a cold, quiet terror.
Dialing another number, I got through to her manager, who was out in Paris helping Yuko with some show negotiations right now.
"Good morning! It’s Haruna. Um, sorry to bother you, but… is Yuko working today, by any chance?"
.
.
.
There was a long pause. “Yes, She is.”
"Can I speak to her?"
"…Hang on a minute, please."
It wasn’t just my imagination. Yuko’s manager sounded uncomfortable and maybe even a little worried.
After a while, he returned. “Are you still there?”
"Yes." I breathe caught in fear and anticipation.
"I’m sorry, but Oshima-chan is… unavailable at the moment."
Did he say
she didn’t want to speak to me? …I wanted to ask.
"Oh, I see. Well, thank you anyway. Sorry again!" I said instead, and hurriedly hung up the phone.
I sat on the sofa, unmoving, for a long time. I felt numb. I felt… so angry at myself, for messing up everything I’d been working so hard to keep safe. I’d wanted to be Yuko’s support. I’d wanted to make sure she never had to worry about me, that she’d never have a chance to regret graduating and going to Paris. I didn’t want to do anything to push her off-course or make her come to resent me. I didn’t want to ruin her dream. And I didn’t want to ruin our relationship.
And I had the terrible feeling that last night I’d managed to do both.
Eventually, as the light shining in through the apartment windows faded, sensation began to bleed back into my world. I was hungry.
In an act that could only be labeled as pure self-indulgent pity, I made an omurice for dinner and placed it down on the table. I had only managed to take one joyless bite, when the doorbell rang.
I padded over to the door on bare feet and opened it.
.
.
.
Yuko.It was Yuko.I tried to open my mouth as if to say something. Maybe something cute and wittily casual like…
“Hey. Can I come in?” Yuko said cutting my reverie.
Still confused of what’s happening I simply said nothing then pulled her closed inside as I slid my hands into her hair, pulling her close for a messy, graceless kiss. It was desperate, and unreal, and I was aware that she was making noises, little embarrassing noises of confusion and relief and want.
We fell to the floor together, my underneath. But Yuko soon pulled me up so I was atop her, straddling her thighs while she leaned back against the wall. We pulled at each other’s clothes, although we couldn’t manage to get fully naked before the need was too much, and we were abandoning everything right there in the hallway. Decency, logic, words - all rendered pointless in the face of this all-consuming passion.
Afterwards, we remained like that, me sitting on top of her, my arms tight around her neck, her face buried in my shoulder. Our breaths were ragged, our limbs trembled.
"Nyannyan," Yuko said, and it broke the spell. "That was… really HOT!"
We laughed, both shocked and increasingly embarrassed by our own actions. Pulling away and straightening our clothes until we looked semi-decent, we migrated naturally to the living room where we both stood, staring at each other, unsure what to say first.
Yuko’s eyes flicked over to the long-forgotten dinner on the table.
"Did my manager give it away?" She said, there was an edge of annoyance in her voice.
It took me for a moment to work it out, but suddenly the events of the day - the distressing silence from Yuko and the nervous avoidance of her manager - began to take on a much less awful meaning than before.
"Oh! No, actually, that omurice was… for me." Well, that was an embarrassing admission. “I had no idea…”
A slightly pained look came over Yuko’s face, and she took a step closer. “I’m sorry. You must’ve thought I was ignoring you or something.”
Or something. I choked on the words before they could make it out of my throat.
"I booked a flight half an hour after your email, you know." Yuko said, scratching the back of her neck. "But it got cancelled, so I had to fight a hundred other passengers to get on another one. And then that one was delayed. And then there was all this trouble at the Narita Airport train station. And my phone battery died, so I couldn’t even… ugh. My plan was to arrive waaaay earlier, before you drove yourself too crazy with worry. Sorry.”
"I- I wouldn’t say I drove myself crazy,” I replied, hedging. “…How long?”
Yuko paused for a moment, wincing. “I got my manager to agree for three days. But now I’ve wasted so much time… I have to catch a flight back tomorrow night.”
Only for a Day."I’m so sorry." Yuko then came in close, wrapping her arms around my waist. "I know it’s not much."
Only for a Day.Yuko peered into my eyes, guilt plain on her face. “I’m really sorry.”
I smiled.
"I get a whole day?" My eyes were bright, and not just with tears.
"Uh, yeah." Yuko began to smile, too. "A whole day, just for us."
Suddenly I pitched away, my mind buzzing and unable to focus. “We- we should tell the others.”
When I reached for the phone, Yuko suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me into a tight hug. “Don’t you Dare!”
"B-but, they’ll want to see you…" I said.
"It won’t hurt them if they didn’t know I’m here, right?" Yuko grinned, leaning in for a firm hard kiss. "I mean, I came to see you. I was kind of hoping… if I could monopolize you for the next twenty-four hours. But I guess… I guess that makes me a really selfish, huh?”
"…Maybe." I smiled, pressing a kiss onto her jaw. "But I must be just as selfish, because that’s what I want too."
"Well, then." Yuko returned the kiss, just beneath my ear. "Let’s get started."
Then the kisses were numerous, uncountable, like drops of water passing over cracked and long-dry lips.
-000-
Just over twenty-four hours later, there was a very familiar scene in the departure area of Narita Airport. I and Yuko clung to each other as we said our goodbyes.
"Listen, don’t keep it all inside, okay? I know it’s hard for you, because it’s so hard for me too. So tell me if you feel lonely. Tell me if you’re angry, or upset, or hurting.”
I nodded, though
I wasn’t sure I could promise to do that. But I did feel strong - truly strong, this time. Like seeing Yuko had given her back something that I had lost in these past seven months.
When I thought about the remaining time that we would have to be separated, it no longer felt like a lie to say that I knew we could make it.
Because she had come all this way for me. She had felt my pain from thousands of miles away and came to soothe it. If she could do that, then I could wait just a little longer.
And as Yuko started walking away, I watched her with tears in my eyes and a real smile on my face.
Then suddenly she stopped, and I saw her fumble her cell phone out of her pocket then start typing.
My own phone pinged.
From: Oshima Yuko
Subject: [no subject]
Date: Wed, 11/06, 19:14
I love you.
To: Oshima Yuko
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Date: Wed, 11/06, 19:15
I know.
-END-
You Want More???