Another day at H!P

[00HB]

@erink: And I sure hope to read it soon!
[I have a feeling it'll involve at least a dozen of flying cocnuts...]

[erink]

Mari, Tsuji, Yuuko, Ayaka and Miki were seated at the back table in the cafeteria. It was late in the morning, and only the stragglers and the unpopular were left.
"Tsuji," Mari called out.
Tsuji barely looked up from one of her two breakfast plates, and gave a half hearted "huh?"
"I need to ask you something."
"o 'ed" She mumbled taking a bite out of a pancake.
"About this Kei thing... I need to know your level of commitment. So, in or out, yes or no?"
"You know what I think" Tsuji began.
"You think?!" Miki interjected.
Mari smiled, "No, what?"
Tsuji ceased moving. She paused with her fork halfway to her mouth and then looked up at the ceiling dreamily. When she spoke, the words came out in fluent english.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness.For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
She had finished. She inhaled deeply then returned her gaze back to the girls seated across from her.
Yuuko sat there, mouth agape. Mari was in much the same state, except more exagerated as she posesed a flair for theatrics.
Ayaka looked as though she just had the rug pulled out from underneath her, while Miki continued looking at her coffee, laughing through her nose.
Tsuji gave them a few more seconds. She looked back and forth, waiting for some sort of response.
"English, motherfuckers, do you speak it?" She asked rather loudly.
Miki burst out laughing.
Yuuko clicked her tounge. She didn't have anything other than an elementary grasp on the language, but a woman like her knew what a few of those words,  and one in particular, ment.
"Miikiiii" She began, turning her attention to her coffee, " stop letting her borrow that trash."*
"What?" Miki, still shaking with laughter, asked as though she had no idea what Yuuko was refering to.
Ayaka still remained shock.
"Girl can barely say 'This is a pen' in english, but here she is reciting that better than Samuel L. himself."
"Funny how things work around here, huh?" Yuuko comented.
"Soo..." Mari begain, "was that a yes or a no?"
"That was a lets absolutely destroy her."
"Ah." Mari shook her head up and down, smiling.

*the quotes used in Tsuji's dialouge are from Pulp fiction. Seeing as Miki is a movie fanatic(a girl after my own heart) I figured it was plausible.

[Blizzard]

That would have made the best Ayaka's Surprise English Lesson EVER!  :ROTFLMAO:

[erink]

Kei had spent the better part of the morning with a handy man. She decided to stay until the hole had been covered up, which ment she was very close to missing breakfast, the most important meal of the day. She hurriedly made her way down the the cafeteria, hoping that the other girls didn't devour everything in sight, but knowing better.

She quick grabbed a plate and some coffee. She scanned the room, seeing that some of the girls were at the normal table, she headed over.
She started speaking about halfway there.
"So if you were wondering where I was-"
"We weren't." Miki snapped.
The girls started to chuckle. Yuuko patted Miki on the shoulder.
"That was good! Boy, you're fast..."
Kei didn't let that little exchange slow her down, she proceded to speak, increasing her volume a bit.
"I was with the carpenter getting that GIGANTIC HOLE" Kei was only a meter or so away from the table " covered. You know the one that" she set her coffee  down on the table "is in MY WALL" and pulled out the chair "You know, the really BIG HOLE" and sat down "AHHHHH!!"
As Kei sat down, the legs of the chair shot out to the sides, sending her plate up into the air and her straight down to the ground.
The girls looked down at her.
There was a pause of three seconds in which they assessed the situation.
Seemingly no major injuries. CHECK.
No imminent danger. CHECK
Kei covered in eggs. DOUBLE SCRAMBLED WITH KETCHUP CHECK.
By the fourth second, they were all howling with laughter as Kei remained motionless.
"The only BIG thing here is your ass! Dear lord, I've never seen someone do that to a chair!" Miki yelled.
This sent Yuuko into hysterics as she gave Miki a thumbs up on her insult.
The expression on Kei's face was seemingly stoic, but the girls knew better and could tell she was boiling on the inside.
Yuuko wiped away the tears that had formed, and Miki was sent into a second fit of laughter as some of the egg slide off the side of Kei's face and down on her shoulder.
Mari produced a wrench and waved it in the air a few times.
"I can't say I really did think you would say no." She said to Tsuji.
She stood up and put the wrench in her back pocket.
"MariTsuji one, Kei... zero."
Mari cleared her throat.
"Tsuji!" She yelled quickly.
Tsuji immediately got up form the table and went to Mari.
The pair exited the cafeteria.

[erink]

Risa stood in the hallway out side her door.
"So that's all?"
"Yeah, just how you did it that one time." Mari said.
"O.kay..."
Risa cleared her throat.
"Wrench. Chair. Eggs. Kei." She paused, switching to  a loud shout-like  tone.
"The battle had begun!"
Mari and Tsuji clapped.
"When she says it like that, it just really gets me into it, you know?" Mari stated.
"Yeah, yeah." Tsuji agreed.
"It sounds epic, you know? That's what we need it to sound like 'cause it is. Epic. That is what we are aiming for. So let's work together and do our best."
Risa coughed.
"Erm.. So should I know what's going on or-"
"When it kinda came about you were kinda busy."
"Rrrright. Was I busy with whatever gave me this massive black and blue mark?" Risa pointed to her stomach, lifting up her shirt slightly.
"Yeah." Mari confirmed.
"And this 'whatever' would be?"
"Ogawa."
Risa paused.
"Well that's an interesting plot twist."
"Yeah. See Miki thought it would be funny if she told Ogawa that you said she looked like a dancing closet. And she was right. Because it was. Until she punched you. And-"
"then is was hilarious." Risa finished.
"Right." Mari confirmed.
"Other than that..." Risa trailed off, waiting for Mari to fill her in.
"You had a pretty quiet night. You did get a little upset when Miki wouldn't let you sing backup on her Miki Fujimoto original compostion  entitled "I fucking rock."
Tsuji looked confused.
"Wait, " she called, "was that before or after she sang Boogie Blender?"
"It was before Boogie Blender, " Mari made a side comment to Risa, "It made snese at the time,  but after-"
It was here that the girl they were talking about made appearance.  Miki was halfway through opening her door before she tuned into the conversation. After realizing it was about her, she looked at Mari quizically.
"Wait, are you talking about last night?"
"Yeah."
"What the hell, Yossie didn't say anything before."
"It wasn't really that bad."
Miki looked at Mari seriously.
"Did I keep my top on?"
"You know you came really close to losing it during your dramatic finale of coconut GIRL" Mari put heavy emphasis on the girl portion of the title, as the capitalization implied. " but when you were head banging you kinda sort" Mari clicked her touge and tapped her head with her fist " yourself on the cabinet and it was cut short.
"So, the girls stayed covered?"
"That they did."
"Which is really all you can ask for."
Mari nodded.
"Alright, carry on."
Miki entered her apartment.
"Well, that's all for us too. Later Risa!"
Mari turned with Tsuji following.
"Wait, guys!"
Risa lowered her voice, realizing they were not waiting.
"...I still don't know what's going on."
She shrugged and opened her door.

[JFC]

^
^
 THIS MEANS WAR! :ROTFLMAO:

[00HB]

"So if you were wondering where I was-"
"We weren't." Miki snapped.
The girls started to chuckle. Yuuko patted Miki on the shoulder.
"That was good! Boy, you're fast..."

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yuko is THE BEST!:ONxD:
So you are, erink! Keep it coming!:ONfarofflook:

[Mikan]

Hahah! Oh I would sell my 3rd unborn child to go to one of these H!P parties you write about.

(I say third because I sold my 1st to my friend for Park lane in Monopoly and my second for a chocolate sundae...or a burger..or maybe it was both I dont really remember. That entire evening was a little hazy)

I would totally by Miki's Single of "I fucking rock" because I totally agree. I also believe Miki is hilarious with her quick shots and I can totally picture her being responsible for Tsuji's bad english ^^ (Never finished watching Pulp Fiction. Something always came up. One time I left the room bleeding from my mouth for who knows what reason...It must be gods way of saying 'dont watch it'. I never asked, was it any good?)

Let there be war!
Let their be Tsuji-Guchi destruction
And let their be Aya!! (where has my girl gone?)

[Owaranai_sLaVe]

I wish I could remember where I LOL-ed. But I forgot. And I'm in a hurry for a party prep. Soooooo.... Ill make it short and say you had me laughing at Tsuji and Miki till my heart bled

English, Motherfuckers, do you speak it?! I watched Pulp Fiction like twice, but sheesh, you got the lines down packt. I would have loved to see Ayaka's face when she heard that. *Surprising how they would let her sit with them too...*

-Owaranai_sLaVe

[rndmnwierd]

WTF about Erika!?

[JFC]

WTF about Erika!?

She's hot.

[Blizzard]

WTF about Erika!?

As Miki would most likely say:  "Who?"  

[rndmnwierd]

Wow, my almost first post here in days and it immediately gets teased. The only Erika fixations I get now are Evil!Erika in len.chan's story and the Other Girl!Erika who Rika hangs all over (apparently) in Oh, the games we play.

[Blizzard]

Wow, my almost first post here in days and it immediately gets teased.

Sorry, I had just read about Miki being a smart ass and somehow it corrupted me.  Sides, you know we luvs you rndm!  :ONluvluv2:

And welcome back!  Hope you plan to update some of your fics soon!  :ONpleeease:

[rndmnwierd]

Yeah yeah, thanks
Trying to, I got the ideas, I just can't get anything down.

ERIKA ERIKA ERIKA ERIKA ERIKA

[erink]

Miki was heading out to practice. She grabbed her Adidas and slid them into her bag, checking again that she had her shirt and shorts. She took another look around the room, searching for her sweatpants.
"ah!" She exclaimed, locating them balled up on her chair over in the corner.
As she was stuffing them in the bag, there was a knock on the door.
"One min-"
"It's Ayaaaa!"
"eep!"
Miki brought the sweatpants up to her face trying to muffle the sound.
She stood wide eyed, looking at the door.
Within a second she started to move to her left, thought better of it, went forward, spun, and then ended up right back where she started.
Miki snapped her head from side to side.
She took off like a shot, charging towards the hole in the wall.
The hole in the wall was currently covered with lovely black and white sheets that the girls (i.e. Miki) had chosen. One end of the make shift pole that hung them came crashing down as Miki jumped through.
That wasn't the only thing doing crashing.
The second Miki had gone past the sheets, her brain began to process the painful situation awaiting her.
Her  legs slammed onto an unexpected surface that was much highed than what she had expected. After being thrown off balance, her body started to fall as she unintentionally pushed off with her legs. Her hands crashed into the edge of the table, taking the table cloth with her.
The momentum from the jump shoved her forward as her head and upper body slammed into the top of a chair, pushing it to the ground before her, directly under her.
Next her legs hit the edge of the table, while the edge of the seat hit her stomach.
She quickly put pressure on her arms, pulling her lower half away from the chair.
Risa  nearly dropped her rice.

[erink]

Ay knocked on Miki's door.
"It's Ayaaaa!" She called cheerfully.
She heard some sort of noise come from the otherside. Aya just figured Miki stubbed her toe or somethign like that.
She waited a few seconds.
Thud.Thud."Uhh!"
Aya opened up the door and ran inside. She looked around quickly trying to see what had happened. On her left she saw the the curtains, hanging on by only one side. She moved over to them and ripped the other half down only to see...

Risa was standing on the right, rice was stuck to the better part of her face and the rest of it covered the floor around her. A chair was knocked over and a red table cloth was balled up on the floor.

Aya was momentarily speechless. After a few seconds she managed
"Are you okay?"
Risa started laughing nervously and plastered a fake grin on her face. Some rice fell to the ground as she spoke.
"You know meee. i can just be soooo clumsy sometimes."
She chuckled awkwardly a few more times before stopping dead, losing her smile completely.
"Are, are you sure you are okay? Strange. You're acting strange."
"Who, me? Oh, I'm completely fine."
Aya continued looking at her.
She noticed Risa glance down at the table cloth, which Aya could swear she just saw move.
"Ris-"
"I just want you to know." Risa interrupted. "That if something horrible, if something completely awful were to happen to me in the immediate future, that I always looked up to you."
"O...K."
They both paused, looking at one another.
"Have you seen Miki?"
"No. Not at all."
"Ok." Aya was speaking very slowly. "I'm going to leave now, Risa. And if you see Miki please tell her that I was looking for her, OK?"
Risa nodded enthusiastically.
Aya started to walk towards the door, but kept looking at Risa.
"Strange" She repeated to herself.

[00HB]

OMFGIROTFLMAO!
It took a while and it was short, but it was awesome!
"Risa dropped her rice." almost killed me!
I love it when you put Risa on random scenes on your fic!
Actualy... I love random scenes of risa anywhere! :panda_love:
[Oh My Fucking God! I'm Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off
[INDENT]^-- Never before these stupid-not-matching-and-extremely-long letters fit so well in a post ][/INDENT]

[Blizzard]

Poor Risa!  Always caught in the middle!  She better get used to it though, at least until the hole is fixed!  :ONwahaha:

I now have an image of Risa with rice stuck to her face stuck in my mind.  I seriously have tears coming out of my eyes from laughing so damn hard now.  Thanks!  

[erink]

Risa moved over to Miki who was writhing in pain.
"Rrrisa?"
"Yes?" Risa was genuinely concerned. This was the Miki Fujimoto. Didn't they call her "Mad Dog" Miki when she started playing futsal? Now, curled up in a ball, tossing and turning, she looked like she was about to cry. Risa crouched down, moving closer to Miki.
The writhing stoped. The shaking stopped. The tears vanished and a hand forcefully slammed her own into her face.
"Uhh!" Risa yelled as the sides of the bowl hit her face. Miki removed her hand, leaving a shocked Risa to drop the bowl onto the floor where the remaining rice spilled.
Miki quickly reached down to her feet with her right hand and brought the table cloth up and over her body.

Risa stood up. She blinked a few times, shaking off the rice from her eyelids. Suddenly the other half of the curtain was torn away as Aya came into view.
At first she didn't speak. She was about as shocked as Risa was. But considerably less seeing as she just didn't have her afternoon snack slammed in her face.
"Are you okay?"
Risa did what Miki had previously instructed her to do in this situation.
Act natural.
This however ended up coming out as a nervous laugh and a cheese-y grin. Risa tried to ignore the rice that fell as she spoke.
"You know meee. i can just be soooo clumsy sometimes."
She chuckled awkwardly a few more times before stopping dead, losing her smile completely.
"Are, are you sure you are okay? Strange. You're acting strange."
"Who, me? Oh, I'm completely fine."
Aya continued looking at her.
Risa snuck a glance at Miki who had just twitched and let out a tiny grunt.
"Ris-"
"I just want you to know." Risa interrupted. Think. Talk. Don't let her hear Miki. "That if something horrible, if something completely awful were to happen to me in the immediate future, that I always looked up to you."
"O...K."
They both paused, looking at one another.
"Have you seen Miki?"
"No. Not at all." Risa lied.
"Ok." Aya was speaking very slowly. "I'm going to leave now, Risa. And if you see Miki please tell her that I was looking for her, OK?"
Risa nodded enthusiastically. Natural. She was trying to act natural.
Aya started to walk towards the door, but kept looking at Risa.

When Risa heard the door close, the table cloth started shouting.
"What the HELL!!"
Miki's right arm shot up in the air, violently throwing the table cloth off of her.
"Are you on crack!?" Miki rolled over on her back, looking up at the ceiling.
"AHHH!" Miki yelled, slaming her left fist forcefully into Risa's floor.
"Why would you put the frick-en table there!?"
When Risa spoke, it was barely audible.
"The book, said it, it was Feng Shui..."
"I'm going to kill you. Rip you apart with my bare hands. Book? Book? The only books you are allowed to read from now on are books that tell you to pile nice soft comfy cushions infront of that wall and to stop making Miki Fujimoto's life hell."
Miki brought her left hand up to her face, inspecting her watch.
"I don't have enough time to kill you before futsal. I want it to be long and painful, so we'll need to reschedule."
"You, you're going to futsal?" Risa asked, shocked.
Miki got up from the ground. She put both hands on her back and turned, cracking it.
"Yes. Yes, I am going to futsal."
She lifted her left leg up onto the table, she brought the rest of her body up. She reached for the curtains, throwing them at Risa. Miki stoppped half way through the wall to throw her signature glare, before entering her room.