WEEEEE Long chapter :]
Chapter 28:
Soliloquy – Ki ga Tsukeba Anata
In a way… No, in all ways, what she said that time really was true…
Aya sighed as she rested her head on her hand, watching the rain fall outside the window. She watched in boredom at the drops sliding down the glass, watching the drops split or combine, and eventually, leaving more drops in its trail downards. She was waiting impatiently in a room that did not belong to her; she was waiting in an apartment she didn’t even live in. But the apartment was not a stranger to her. In fact, the room she currently waits in was not foreign to her either.
The conversation she had with Ai a few days earlier was still running through her head, echoing the same sentences over and over again like a record that did not function the way it should.
“Why don’t you stop forcing yourself on Miki and calling it love then? It disgusts me.”
Aya sat up straight and sighed.
Tan’s attitude… Her beautiful looks… Her haunting voice when she speaks seriously. Her cute voice when she’s having fun… Even though she’s cursed… I love all of Tan…
In her anxiety, she looked at the time, and concluded that she still had thirty minutes to spare before everyone came back from the trip.
So she went out of the room.
So she went to get some iced tea.
So she went back into the room.
So now she’s impatient all over again, but with the company of a glass with tea and ice.
“Tea-san, do you think she’ll hear out what I say?” Aya spoke to the inanimate, yet edible, object being held by her hand. She watched the tea sternly, as if enticed by what the thing has to say, or rather, what delicious flavor it was.
“I’m really insane for talking to tea-san like this…” Aya lowered her head in embarrassment of adapting a temporary child disguise in order to lower her sense of insecurity.
So she went out of the room.
So she went to put the glass in the sink.
So she looked into the refrigerator again.
So she found a very inviting takeout box with yakiniku in it.
So she heated it up.
So she ate in the dining area.
So now she was making her uneasiness go away with food, regardless of whether its her own or not.
Tan, will you listen to what I have to say? Will you listen to what I think may hurt you? Will you listen to what I think the reason for my being in love with you is?
The soloist sighed as she finished the last of the meat. “I ate too quickly…” She got up with the box, and walked into the kitchen area yet again. After some searching through the small cabinet doors, she finally found the burnable trash bin, and threw the box away, the white container vanishing in a sea of disgust and gruesome foods. Aya turned about her heel and walked back into the dining area, into the lobby, onto the stairs, onto the first room to the right, shut the door, and sat on the bed again.
Nope, no signs of returning folk yet. Aya fiddled with her short hair, wondering if she should regret cutting it short as it is, now that she can’t really style too much with it, other than to wear the annoying extensions in order to make herself look pretty. But she liked looking pretty, despite her discomfort.
Therefore, being pretty and/or beautiful and even/or sexy all sounds good to her, even at the price of her comfort, gave her the image of an idol heavily associated with narcissism—unlike her counter part, Miki Fujimoto.
That girl, she and Yoshizawa-san have even been used in a survey to determine the one with the worst fashion sense! That must have been the most amusing thing I’ve ever really seen Tan get involved in! My sympathies for Yoshizawa-san too, but oh my poor dear Tan…
Aya giggled a bit at the thought of the events yet again. The fans must haven been at least slightly surprised when they found out that she and her partner in crime were the best of friends rather than the best of rivals. How they even became friends was quite the event itself.
I know this may seem exaggerated to the extent of expecting some laughter from you, but the moment I met you, I could not pry you off my head.
“What a fun concert!” Aya stretched her arms out in the air, the curtains rolling to the floor for the final time. “Wow, this is so… weird…” She rubbed the back of head sheepishly, after all, this was a singer who went to another singer’s concert.
Aya felt a foreign hand on her forbidden butt. “Pervert!” she closed her eyes and whined a scream, smacking her purse against whoever was unfortunate to touch what was her property and no one else’s. The hand removed itself, but Aya’s purse and hand did not. After the touch left, Aya opened both of her eyes, meeting someone familiar, yet not.
It was Miki, the soloist that joined H!P not too long ago. Aya has had the opportunity of meeting her formally through introductions back at the UFA building from where Miki had her first UFA photoshoot, but the second meeting… Here? Aya widened her eyes, after all, this was a singer who met an associating singer who went to another singer’s concert. She also widened her eyes because she, just a few moments ago, screamed out ‘pervert!’ and smacked her really hard with a heavily loaded purse.
“Aw, do you react like that whenever you’re touched?” the other singer mused.
What the?
“What a rather paranoid girl the great Ayaya is, almost like a princess who’s ignorant of everything else around her,” Miki grabbed Aya’s hand, as if to remove it from her face.
This girl… She’s making fun of me! I hate her!
“Well excuse me for being such an ignorant princess!” Aya yanked her hand and purse from the other girl, trying to give her meanest glare.
Miki only laughed, not in a mocking way, but in a fun way… “Haha, you’re an interesting girl.”
“Girl? I’m 16!”
“Haha, a year older than you m’dear,” Miki chuckled and then she patted Aya’s shoulder, “Sorry if I upset you, I’m always very frank, so I do that a lot. Don’t let that affect your opinion on me though; I’d very much like it if we became friends. Now, I don’t have time, so I hope we can talk more later, right?” Miki didn’t wait for a response, knowing that if she had, Aya would have not been able to anyway, for she was speechless, “I’ll definitely see you later.”
“What do you mean definitely?”
“Who wouldn’t? You’re such a pretty woman,” Miki smirked as she gave Aya a small kiss on the cheek before leaving.
Haha, that’s my Tan, big entrance, big departure. I suppose everything else we did was ‘big’ too; we’d always have memorable experiences. Even when I found out about the curse, I shrugged it aside, and we still had fun. Though… the reason I’ve come to love you…
Aya felt arms embracing her waist, smiling at the all-too familiar touch, “Welcome back, Tan.”
“How long have you waited for me?” Miki rested her head on the other’s shoulder and leaned against her head.
“I slept here.”
“That long?” Miki mused, “What a stalker,” she laughed as she raised her hands to grope Aya’s breasts, receiving a surprised squeal in return of her communication.
“It’s better than a molester,” Aya also laughed, releasing herself from Miki’s embrace to look at her, “What happened to you?” Aya’s voice was undermined with concern, eyeing the patch on Miki’s cheek.
“Ojou-sama, she wanted to see Reina before she left at like, 1 AM, so yeah…”
Rika… She’s a… Rika is a very scary person when intimidated. It’s just, she’s definitely someone you want to mind your manners around. But I remember… I remember when she used to be kind… But I know Yoshizawa has something to do with Rika’s change of character. She was such a nice person back then too… Now she’s… I don’t know, it’s just, now she seems like she’s scheming something, and I’m pretty sure Rika isn’t aware…
I just hope Yoshizawa’s going to be okay if Rika finds out… I was really shocked at what Rika did to Kaorin… And to Ai a few weeks ago… Kaori with a broken wing… Ai with a permanent scar… I wonder if she’s faring well trying to find—
“What are you thinking about?” Miki asked, sitting with one leg close to her chest and the other off the bed and on the floor.
Aya was snapped out of her trance, and immediately remembered what she was going to say.
“You protected Reina?”
“Not really, she got her arms bruised protecting me,” Miki looked off to the side, “So much for trying to protect the protectee but instead, I was protected by the protectee.”
Aya, instead of frowning, smiled at a certain thought. Miki noticed the unexpected facial expression, and raised a brow in bemusement, “What are you smiling about?”
“You’ve gotten nicer,” Aya smiled serenely, and giggled when Miki was struggling for words to say.
“…What of it?” Miki finally said, looking at Aya lazily.
Ah ha, so she really did get nicer. She would have laughed saying, “Me nicer? Screw that, your imagination’s giving you delusions.”
Aya only tilted her head and smiled innocently, “nothing really, it’s cute watching you fumble around for words to say.”
Miki laughed, “You’ve gotten more frank.”
“Is that so?” Aya smirked, “but I still have ways to go before I start adjusting my panties in front of hundreds of people.”
“Shut up~” Miki sneered as she playfully punched Aya in the shoulder.
“Tan.”
“Yeah?”
“Can we talk seriously?”
“Go for it.”
“…Never mind…”
“Hold it! Don’t leave me hanging!” Miki slapped both hands on Aya’s cheeks, getting only a giggle out of the other.
“Okay okay, I’ll tell you if you’ll go out somewhere with me.”
“Oh…” Miki looked off to the side, “Hmm… Finally watching those movies… Or being with you…”
“You can hear me speak understandable Japanese rather than reading subtitles of a foreign film like you always do,” Aya grinned.
“You win,” Miki raised her hands in the air as she stood up. “Where to?”
“You’ll see!” Aya also got up, grabbing Miki’s hand as she did so. They both wore their shoes and set out to the afternoon world.
“What? It’s 2 AM!” Aya said groggily into her cellphone.
“Oh come now, you don’t want to come enjoy the grand outdoors?”
“Tan, I think fate switched our roles around, aren’t you the lazy one who doesn’t want to go anywhere?”
“Bah, I come and go you know. Besides…” Miki paused on her end of the phone, intriguing Aya into saying something.
“Besides?”
“I want to be with you.”
Aya smiled amidst her groggyness, and replied, “I’ll always be at your side.”
I’m such a terrible person.
“Tan… Do you realize where we’re going?” Aya finally said, turning to look at Miki, who kept solemn and slightly affected by her surroundings.
“Yeah…” Miki sighed as she continued walking.
Not before long, they reached their destination. It was an isolated hill, one of the few rare hills that actually have trees lining the back. Though from the hill view, it seems that a child might make themselves believe that they could see all of Tokyo from that place. There were also no carelessly littered items, so the hill was still at top shape and at top beauty.
But for Miki and Aya, it has a painful memory attached to its beauty.
“I realize being here might be painful, but bear with me please…” Aya said, looking out to the cityscape from the view. Miki still kept her temporary vow of silence, staring at the back of the other’s head, wanting answers.
“But this…”
“Yeah, this is where I saw your true winged form.”
The frightened girl ran away, letting out a scream as she ran, afraid of what she has seen.
“After that, you started to avoid me. You’d always try to keep your distance from me… No, that’s not the correct thing to say…
It was me. I was the one who started to avoid her…
Aya sat on the nearby bench, continuing her monologue,“I… I was sad when I was born, I seemed to do nothing to please my family, even when I joined the project. I hated myself so much that I couldn’t stand it… I thought I was the most light-less person in existence… But when I met you, and found out about the curse… I was relieved… Because compared to you, I had it easy…”
Compared to this frank woman… Who could never kiss anyone on the lips… Or handle sudden weather…I wasn’t so bad after all.
“That’s why I was with you… I had pitied you…”
Miki stood in silence.
Aya supported herself on her lap with her elbows, and moved her face forward, as if to hold her face. As if to cry.
I’m a really terrible person... That time I saw it… I was afraid with all my heart. That part of me was the ‘terrible’ part. It was so bad that I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to go back in time and change what I did. I wanted you to forget that ever happened…
I dreamed of being someone who could accept something like that. I didn’t realize how terrible the dream was as well…
“I thought that if I made myself stay with you, to bridge the gap between us… Then the me that was terrible will be gone. That’s what my train of thought was.
It was a forced love… Just as Ai said…
Miki watched as tears fell from the soloist, still standing by, watching her.
I was oblivious to your suffering… I never thought about what you needed… In the end, it’s just like the Aya Matsuura of narcissism… It was all about myself. The whole time…
I was only chasing her for my own benefit…
“Tan… I’m so sorry… I’m so so sorry…” Aya said, a few more tears dropping.
“Are you done?”
Aya nodded.
“You don’t have to say things that causes you pain.”
Aya looked up, surprised yet again that Miki did not say something that was expected, or walked out on her as she expected.
“Looking down on me, it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing for you to apologize for.”
Aya got up, walking slightly ahead and stretched, “I wanted to say it, that confession. After all, we promised to never keep secrets from each other.
You didn’t have to be generous, you could have yelled at me.
“Regardless, I’m very happy that we are what we are now,” Miki said, her back facing Aya’s back, ready to return home. “Thank you for being at my side.”
It started out as a forced love… But whenever you said my name… Whenever you fumble around for words when I do something that makes you speechless… That side of you that only I know about… Before I knew it… I really…
Aya turned around, face stained and streaming with a steady flow of tears now, “Miki!”
The other woman turned her head to look at the source of the call, surprised that Aya had called her by her name.
“Miki! I really love you! Even though there was that one painful memory, regardless of that, I grew to love you! I love you!” Aya collapsed on her knees, still crying, but now she said almost inaudibly, “Miki…I love you…”
Please believe me… I now understand you… I don’t need pity or sympathy. I don’t expect anyone else to understand us either…
“Hey.”
Surprisingly, Miki had kneeled in front of Aya, leaning towards her, supporting herself with her hands on the grass, close to Aya’s waist.
“I’m glad you opened up to me. And thank you.”
“But…” Aya wiped the now slowed tears from her face, “You already thanked me for being with you.”
“No, that’s not it.”
“What is it for?” Aya stared into Miki’s eyes, noticing something very different from the Miki of before.
“Thank you for making me love you as well.”
Today, at this moment, it was now Aya’s turn to be speechless. Miki leaned forward further, and placed her hand on the other’s back.
“Say my name. I want to hear you say it again…”
Aya looked down, hesitating due to the embarrassment, but finally called in a small voice, “Miki…”
Miki pulled Aya closer to her, to which Aya looked up at Miki, and then they both kissed.
Even for that brief second.
Even for that brief touch.
Even for that brief bliss.
Their feelings were met.
“Me too…” the silver snake said after the small silence, resting its head on Aya’s lap, “I love you too, Aya…”
To me, who made a huge mistake…You covered it up with a nonchalant voice. But now I realize… I know you will never go, I realize that you’re always at my side…
Thank you.
<3
Topic: Our Cursed Gift [Chapter 47: Our Final Promise][COMPLETE] (Read 161494 times)