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Author Topic: Already Missing Yesterday  (Read 1629 times)

Offline freya86

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Already Missing Yesterday
« on: September 29, 2006, 07:25:13 PM »
Minna-sa~n!!! I'm back at my parents' place for a few days, and damn, I have so much catching up to do!!! But for now, I bring you a new fic I wrote last week. It was inspired by Kei's comment that back in school they went to Kyoto on a trip, and since Yuko's from Kyoto (more or less), well, you'll see ^_^

Already Missing Yesterday ~ [PG] ~ 2177 words
Nakazawa Yuko, Yasuda Kei



*


She hasn’t expected her to come.

The surprise in clearly written across Kei’s face as she stares at her, wide-eyed, agape, hands stopping mid-way in their movement, and Yuko thinks that this sight alone is worth the worry she’s been putting herself through for the last two weeks.

Because she wasn’t sure if she should come, still isn’t completely, feeling dozens of eyes resting on her, all those nameless faces surrounding Kei, probing, examining, hiding their silent giggles behind small hands.

One of their sharp elbows nudges Kei in the side, a hand shoots out to shove her, and the girl stumbles forward, just a few steps, and stops embarrassed, nervous fingers combing through her long black hair, looking back at her friends, at Yuko, before coming to rest somewhere on the floor between them.

“Yuko-san”, Kei whispers, and it almost drowns in the noises that surround them, the people rushing by, the trains coming and leaving, the endless stream of laughter and whispers from Kei’s classmates.

But Yuko catches it still, smiling at the younger girl’s use of the formal ‘san’ even though Yuko’s told her a dozen times already to call her ‘Yuuchan’.

Somehow she finds it endearing.
The bashfulness, the color creeping into Kei’s cheeks, the lowered gaze, even the hands idly fiddling with the hem of her skirt.

The signs are clear, to Yuko as well as to everyone paying attention, so without further ado Yuko takes hold of Kei’s hand and pulls her with her, away from the crowd, around a corner, giving them the privacy they need for this conversation.

When Kei’s eyes remain fixed to the floor, Yuko hooks one finger beneath her chin and lifts her face so that they are eye to eye.
It makes it easier that they are the same height and no one has to look up, or rather, has to be looked down on.

“Yuko-san”, Kei whispers again, voice high and faint, the nervousness obviously tinting her words as she speaks.
“You came … you remembered!”

Yuko smiles in response, squeezing the hand she’s still holding while the other pushes a strand of hair back from Kei’s face, behind her ear, before coming to hang limply by her side.

“Of course I remembered, Kei-chan”, Yuko answers, eyes briefly flickering down to their joined hands which are lightly swinging between their bodies, a comfortable movement which would lead people to believe them more at ease than they actually are.

No one is at ease when it comes to good-byes, and this is theirs.
Their good-bye, too soon, after not even two weeks of knowing each other, after a chance meeting and twelve days of phone calls, mails and hasty meetings.

And now Kei’s leaving again and Yuko can’t be sure they’ll ever see each other again, so she tries to choose her words wisely, not to let too many emotions show, and most importantly, not to break down and cry.

“There was no way I could forget”, she continues, feeling the meaning behind her words press heavily on her shoulders, and she squeezes Kei’s hand again, a breath escaping her she wasn’t aware of holding when Kei grabs her other hand as well and links their fingers.

“You knew I’d come, right?” Yuko asks, uncertain of what the younger girl will answer, and she knows her voice has climbed a notch higher, her own nervousness breaking through now that Kei’s slowly beginning to lose hers.

Kei shakes her head and the disappointment hits Yuko hard, harder than she’s expected and she takes a deep breath in hope of calming her emotions.

Yet it is in vain, because Kei steps closer and rests her head on Yuko’s shoulder, her nose brushing the older woman’s throat, and Yuko can feel their linked hands brushing against the sides of her thighs, then against Kei’s, and it’s such an odd feeling of closeness, their current position, that Yuko has to close her eyes, breath coming shaky.

“But I’d hoped you would”, Kei answers her earlier question, nuzzling closer against Yuko’s throat and Yuko sighs, relieved.
“I’d hoped so much that you would be here today that I hadn’t even expected it anymore. It was like one of those wishes you know are not going to come true no matter how much you want them to.”

For a few moments silence hangs over them as Kei’s words sink in and Yuko swears to herself never to tell the girl that for quite some time, she considered not coming to meet her this one last time, that her mind kept telling her that it would be better that way while her heart kept on protesting.

In the end, her heart won, and as Yuko watches Kei pull back, a dreamy smile on her lips, she can feel said heart swelling in her chest, fluttering like a bird.

“I’m glad I was wrong, though”, Kei says and now Yuko’s heart is breaking up, overflowing with feelings, and despite her plan not to cry she can’t help the sob that escapes her lips as she wrenches her hands from Kei’s and crushes the girl in a hug, holding her as close as she can.

She shudders when she feels hands gliding over her back and the tears that escape her eyes disappear in the blending of their hair as Kei hugs her back, their embrace saying more than either of them feels capable of saying right now.

“I’ll miss you”, Kei whispers right next to Yuko’s ear and the older woman can hear that Kei’s crying as well, no matter how hard she’s trying to mask it.
“So much”, and for a few seconds the embrace becomes more fierce, so tight that Yuko finds it hard to breathe, but then Kei releases her and takes a step back, breaking all contact and Yuko has to force herself to stay where she is and not reach out again.

The girl’s head is lowered, unruly bangs hiding Kei’s eyes, but her shoulders are still shaking slightly and her hands have returned to the hem of her skirt, taking up the earlier fidgeting movements again.

“It’s not fair”, Yuko finds herself saying and Kei nods in agreement, still not looking up, and Yuko’s heart breaks all over again at the sight and her hand reaches out for Kei’s again, clinging desperately to the smaller hand.

A signal tears through the air, a voice announcing that the train will soon be arriving, and Kei lifts her head at the message, furiously wiping the tears from her eyes before proceeding to do the same with Yuko’s.

Silently they stare at each other while around them people’s movement are speeding up once more, until Kei lifts Yuko’s hand to her mouth, her thumb painting caresses along it, and presses her lips to her open palm, lingering just for a moment before letting go of the hand completely with one last squeeze.

“I’ll wait for you”, Kei declares and she sounds so honest that Yuko feels fresh tears burning behind her eyes, but instead of giving in to them she chuckles, low in her throat.

“Don’t say that, Kei-chan”, she says, momentarily avoiding the girl’s eyes while trying to formulate her next words in a way that won’t let her true thoughts show and yet that won’t betray the thing that’s developed between them, a thing she’s not yet ready to give a name to.

“You’re just sixteen, you have all the time in the universe. You’ll forget me and find someone else, someone you’ll marry and have lots of pretty babies with, and they’ll all have your eyes and your smile.”

At least it makes them giggle and Yuko watches as rosy color creeps back into Kei’s cheeks.

“So, you think my eyes and my smile are pretty?” Kei questions and flashes a grin, eyes sparkling, and Yuko smiles in return, damning her heart for making this all so very complicated.

“Very pretty”, Yuko finally murmurs, turning serious again, suddenly at a loss of words as the tension between them shifts as Kei steps into her personal space unexpectedly, hands reaching up to gently cup Yuko’s cheeks, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from the older woman, and their eyes meet again.

“Then believe these eyes when I say that we’ll meet again, somehow, and that I’ll wait for that day to come”, Kei says, and when Yuko doesn’t reply she leans forward and kisses each corner of her mouth, brushing just softly against the woman’s lips, and elicits a whimper from Yuko that vibrates against Kei’s lips.

When she leans back, tears are once again falling from both women’s eyes and, heaving a deep sigh, Yuko reaches up to cup Kei’s hands with her own, pressing her lips against both of Kei’s palms before letting go and taking two steps back, putting some distance between them.

“You should get ready”, she whispers with a tear-stained voice, and as if on cue two of Kei’s classmates stick their heads around the corner, carefully clearing their throats and looking awkwardly at Kei.

“I’m coming”, Kei assures them and the two just nod before disappearing again, giving Yuko one last moment with Kei.

“I’ll walk you”, Yuko says, wiping the tears from her face, and she manages a small smile before grabbing Kei’s hand and pulling her towards the other students.

No one seems to be paying any special attention to them, but then Yuko catches a few of them sneaking peeks at them again and Yuko pulls Kei closer, wrapping one arm around her waist and leaning over to whisper in her ear.

“Just a few more days and I wouldn’t have let you go”, she admits, closing her eyes for a moment and breathing in deeply, trying to memorize the feeling of Kei in her arms, the scent of her hair, the softness of her skin.

“Just a few more days and I would’ve stayed”, Kei answers and they silently smile at each other, small, wistful smiles, knowing exactly what the other is thinking without having to hear it said out aloud.

It is a bittersweet goodbye, but Kei has to leave and again Yuko tries to remind herself that Kei’s just sixteen, more than seven years younger than herself and that a crush at sixteen doesn’t have the slightest chance of lasting over time and distance.

Yet her heart clenches as she finds herself wishing it were different and she presses a quick kiss to Kei’s cheek, catching the teenager by surprise, but she just smiles and shakes her head, and Kei blushes again as she notices her friends staring at them, and, somewhere over their heads, her teacher, turning his head towards them and eyeing Yuko suspiciously.

A second signal sounds and a few seconds later they can hear the noises of the train as it arrives at the platform, and all around students are beginning to pick up their luggage, waiting for the train to come to a stop and then filtering through the doors in little groups to search for a seat.

“This is it”, Kei says, bag in hands, eyes nervously shifting towards the train and then back to Yuko, before pressing one last kiss to Yuko’s lips, a quick, almost platonic kiss, yet it is so much more together with the light shining in Kei’s eyes and the promise that reaches Yuko’s ears for the third time today.

“I’ll wait, Yuuchan.”

Then Kei turns and steps into the train without another word or touch, leaving Yuko to follow Kei with her eyes through the windows, as good as she can, her feet leading her parallel to Kei’s way, stopping when Kei’s found a seat.

She sits by the window, in a compartment with some girls from her class, but her attention’s still fixed on Yuko, eyes scanning the crowd for the older woman and, when she spots her, never leaving her form until the train start moving.

They never said good-bye, not the actual word, but there was no need for it in the end.

The things they did say were far more important and so Yuko smiles as she watches the train leave, keeping eye contact with Kei for as long as possible, her hands covering her heart, hoping that the simple gesture would translate over the space between them what her voice no longer could.

Then the train turns a corner, vanishing from Yuko’s range of vision, and all of a sudden it feels colder than just moments before, the icy wind slicing through her coat, stinging in her eyes, and a shiver runs over her spine.

With one last look towards the horizon Yuko sighs and turns, leaving the station behind and strolling towards the nearest subway.

Maybe, she thinks, Kei was right; maybe they will meet again, somehow, somewhere, in the future.

But for now, Kei has school to finish and there’s an audition waiting for herself, and who can say what fate still has in store for them.


FIN
« Last Edit: October 03, 2006, 02:25:53 PM by freya86 »

// renai revolution ~ a j-pop/h!p slash community~ // yuko . kei . aika . koha . kanna . nacchi //

Offline JFC

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Already Missing Yesterday
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2006, 08:14:48 PM »
Well done. :thumbsup

JPH!P :heart:'s Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline whirlywindz

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Already Missing Yesterday
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2006, 10:35:28 PM »
Beautiful and emotional. Nearly got me to tears T^T
All of this from just a single comment from Kei? You did a great job in plotting a fanfic from all these bits of information.
Thanks for such a lovely fic.

Offline rndmnwierd

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Already Missing Yesterday
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2006, 03:07:05 AM »
I love you! I'm too drunk to read it all but I'll edit this comment later.

EDIT: I'm back! And sober. Great stuff Freya, hope you get settled in soon so we can get more of this kinda fluff from you!
« Last Edit: October 05, 2006, 04:33:42 AM by rndmnwierd »

Offline Mikan

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Already Missing Yesterday
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2006, 02:07:37 PM »
Is this the longest thing you have ever written :P

I saw this and thought my usual thought when I see something posted by you "Omfg! This is gonna be good"

So I quickly printed the story and dashed off to school. Under my English text book I slipped the paper and read it. I few classmates wondered why on earth I was smiling. I just found the story so incredibly down right SWEET!

Not many people write up the Yuko Kei and even less write them up at such a young age. Im a fan of high school set fics. Im worried its because I think uniforms are erotic which means Im hentai. I dont want it to be true so I will say the reason I like high school aged fics is because its such a controversial time and as you mentioned - love at 16 doesnt last long...or does it?

Im sounding like a reviewer, its almost disgusting. I'll just finish up and say - another well done. This story is high up in my favourites of Freya's stories right next to Bubblegum world.

Read the complete Doki Doki!!

Offline goosefish

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Already Missing Yesterday
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2006, 03:48:11 PM »
This an absolutely beautiful fic here!
 
Quote
Maybe, she thinks, Kei was right; maybe they will meet again, somehow, somewhere, in the future.
 
But for now, Kei has school to finish and there’s an audition waiting for herself, and who can say what fate still has in store for them.

It's really interesting to see how H!P members might have known each other before ever being in H!P. I mean, the idea never even crossed my mind until I read this! So thanks for giving me a new perspective!:P

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