Day 25
I thought being with family today would kill the urge, and it did while I was there, but it came right back when I got home. I went into IRC and joked around for a bit. There was some talk about Haado Gei and Masa and then some other stuff. Some people tried to keep me in the game, and it seemed to help. I got a sudden urge to play some Guilty Gear so I grabbed my stick and played some matches. After about 20 minutes I got bored but felt great. I had absolutely no urge. I felt like I could go the distance until the boredom set in again. I didn't know what to do and I started reading some PMs. (I don't even remember why I even went to it) Then I said, "Fuck this and fuck The Struggle". I took off all my clothes, grabbed the lotion, and got some tissues and started beating like mad. I was going and it felt so good that I couldn't stop. Then two people IM'ed me. I didn't want to stop but I knew that if I didn't say something, they would just keep bothering me, so I got rid of them, but I still felt like I had to finish what I started...

It was a while ago, but I'm still feelin' it.
I would've liked to have made it to the end, but it was getting so bad, I just couldn't take it anymore. I easily could've gone the distance, but I fucked up with all the porn and cockiness. I'd watch or read some stuff, and after not feeling like wanking, I thought I was invincible. I laughed at it at first, but after a while it started to take it's toll. After a while, the thought of losing just couldn't outweigh how good I would feel. I know there were only 6 days left, but it would've felt a lot longer. I hope I don't regret this once I come down off the high.
