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Author Topic: A Work in Progress  (Read 2277 times)

Offline 00HB

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A Work in Progress
« on: November 21, 2006, 01:44:06 AM »
:ONsmoke: I red lots of awesome fics here and well... I just wanted to write one of my own... who knows...
I'm a novice (also known as n00b) on H!P things, but I thought on trying...:ONsweat:
Please be nice to me... and excuse me if I make too many english mistakes...
I have not mastered this language yet....:ONkneelbow:

But I thought on doing something diferent...
This time the readers will choose what happens to the characters...
In the end of each chapter I'll create some options and you only have to vote on the one you like the most. After some time I'll count the votes and the fic will follow what got the most votes...
It's good to me, couse I have some dificulties to update that fast and everyone can create the story as well.
I'll always let an option to anyone create. the first one that creates this option makes his "creation" one of the possible options to be voted too.

Well.. enouth talking (writing)... here is the first part.
I REALLY hope you like it...  (I'm damn afraid ):ONsad:
I needed to put al least four letters... ¬¬'

Offline 00HB

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A Work in Progress
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2006, 01:46:55 AM »
Session 01

- 11:37 PM - room 303 -

The rehearsal was too much for her. The argue between the girls was still echoing in her head. She would really  have to do something or the group would certainly crumble little by little.
But the only thing she could think right now was to take a shower and drop dead on her bed.
After letting flow much more water than her body really needed, she grabed her towel and, with a sigh of satisfaction, droped herself on the huge messy bed ocupping most part of the room, don't even paying attention to the thrown pieces of cloth spreaded all over it.
the still wet skin brought her a welcome sensation of refreshment to fight the heat that last the whole week.
It not took long to her mind to vanish in white dreams, caressed by the gentle wind comming by the open window. The insistant red reading on the clock of her bed head was on 11:56.
Only four more minutes of peace.

- 11:26 PM - main cafeteria -

A lonelly figure waited for her food to get ready, seated by one of the many tables of the big room.
The cook usually would alredy have closed her expedient, but made an exception when saw the sadness on the face of the young girl.
Now she only waited, quiet and meditative, for something that could make her mind distance, even if for a little time, from the problems she was facing.
- Here it is, my darling. I put an extra strawberry expecially for you.
- Ah. thank you.
- ...
The cook lady only observed while the brunette girl in front of her eated silently. It was strange, Usually she always smiled when facing sweets but this time...
- ... Hum.. darling? Have anything happened to you?
- Ah? Oh... sorry... I don't... It was nothing...
With an even more suspicious look, the old lady left the room for a time more.
"How could I not do anything?" Thinked the girl
"I love her and even so..."
"What could I do? She's too impulsive!"
"Doesn't matter. I should have protected her!"
"Oh my... if Yossie didn't intervene.. who knows what would happen"
"And the poor... at least SHE did something"
"I would only hurt myself, too.."
"But I LOVE her..."
In the giant and silent room, the brief digital sound of the digital clock on the wall was heard, marking the turning of the night.
The next sound that folowed was much longer. And louder.

- 11:48 PM - room 405 -

- It hearts?
- AHHH!
- I do think that this answers your question...
- Ow... carefull...
- Could anyone remind me again? Why are we not in the infirmary, instead of being squeezed in a tiny and ridiculously decorated room?
- Ah, of course... and I supose that YOU would explain to Tsunku-san what happened to her?
- Well... No, but... I thought that...
- Can you all be quiet for a moment? I'm trying to concentrate her!
- AHHHHHHHH!
- Hum... I look' s like it's bleeding....
- Ow really? How did you noticed that?
- YAAHHHHH!!!
- This way....
- Owch!
- Who was now?
- My back hurts...
- Maybe you broke something...
- Oh my god!
- Calm down! Nobody freaks out yet!
- Hey!
- What now?
- What do you mean by "ridiculously decorated"?

*SILENCE*

- Ahn.. look, Shige-chan...
But her words were cut by a very huge rumble

- 11:57 PM - a corridor -

Only one more person was awake on the building.
She was just heading back from the room of one of her work colleagues whom, for the first time, she tried to cherish until she was sleeping.
While walking, she tried to understand the situation that occured some time ago in the rehearsal room.
"How things got at this point?"
"If only she didn't left early... none of this would have happened"
That was her last thought before she felt the ground vanish under her feet.

- 00:02 AM - room 303 -

She was awake on only one second
"An earthquake?"
"No... it seemed more like.."
"Oh f*!"
"An explosion?"
"but... where?"
"my clothes.."
"maybe i*"
"A SCREAM?"
"who?"
"Wait... this smell.."
"FIRE!"
"Think! THINK!"

************************************

Now what the girl from the room 303 do?

A) Go upstairs, maybe away from the fire
B) Go Downstairs, closer to solid ground
C) Stay where you are, don't know what happened, afterall
D) Go towards the sound of the scream and try to help *however was screaming just now* (A kazitakato's company contribution)
« Last Edit: November 21, 2006, 01:39:30 PM by 00HB »
I needed to put al least four letters... ¬¬'

Offline erink

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A Work in Progress
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2006, 02:06:08 AM »
Hey, good work. I was thinking about trying the "interactive story", but you beat me too it. It is a little to early to say anything, but I will be keeping an eye on this. Depending on how long and seriously you have been studing english, it really wasn't that bad. The best way is practice right? People are pretty forgiving here so don't be afraid to post more.

Offline rndmnwierd

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A Work in Progress
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2006, 07:40:51 AM »
Ooo, interesting set up, I'm anxious to see how it goes, and if who's who will clear up.

Offline kazitakato

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« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2006, 07:49:52 AM »
i vote

D)go towards the sound of the scream and try to help *however was screaming just now*

p/s: nice job.....keep it up...i've always loved an interactive story

spreading the usa-chan love....i mean darkness(thanks to JFC)

Offline lil_hamz

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A Work in Progress
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2006, 08:54:02 AM »
I choose A. If the girls go upstairs there's no way out so more opportunities for drama XD

Everything's really great so far and the interative idea was a great one! I can't wait to see who the girls in the 1st session are :yay:

Offline katatsumuri

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A Work in Progress
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2006, 10:44:21 AM »
I'll choose

C) Stay where you are, don't know what happened, afterall


P/S: GJ HB, great to see you started writing too.:ONfarofflook:

Offline Aioros

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« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2006, 11:17:40 AM »
I choose D.

Nice idea for a fic. Keep it up! :thumbsup

WAR AKARI!!! Infernal Ninjutsu, Hidden Lore...Freedom of Opposites Technique!!! Rest in peace Kyle,Jab,Mom,Tita, ChrNo...

Offline 00HB

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A Work in Progress
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2006, 10:29:10 PM »
Yeeee! i'm really happy that there is someone reading it!:ONfarofflook:
Thank you very much on everyone that helpedme to do this next chapter, afterall, it's is interactive. A single "A" or "B" helps me a lot! :panda_love:
erink: I'm happy to see that you'll read it. really.:baa60776:
rndmnwierd: I guess you will figure it out on this chapter. It's not supposed to be THIS the mistery of this fic. I just like to let you expect a little! :ONxD:
kazitakato: Hey, thanks for the first "D" contribution! It actually won!:ONshock:
And I had to figure it out on what would happen.:ONerr:
But you know... I leked more this way!:ONxD:
lil_hamz: With a plot so "open" like this, drama options will never end!:panda_love:
katatsumuri: YOU RED IT! your fic was one of the reasons i started writing! I'm really glad!:tfr9a7wg:
wordsworth: thanks. I'll try to update as fast as I can, but it really takes a long time to me to write each chapter. As I said, I'm not  very used to english...:ONsad:

now the next one!
I needed to put al least four letters... ¬¬'

Offline 00HB

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A Work in Progress
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2006, 10:30:59 PM »
Session 02

- 00:00 AM - lots of rooms -

The explosion quickly established panic at the room of the many girls sleeping that night. The sudden absence of eletric power didn't help much more and from many place in the building hysterical screams filled the air.
One of the feminine voices, stronger than the others, and possibliy much more drunk to be afected by what happened, could be heard from the ones next to it.
- I'm trying to sleep here! Be quiet or I'm gonna fire you all!
Many of the girls carried it out straight away.
Oddly, one of the most crowded rooms had the less agitation.

- 00:05 AM - room 405 -

- Ok. Can we freak out now?
- Be my guest...
- Hum... everyone all right?
- I think so...
- My arm hurts!
- I'm wonderfull. Felt over some cushions.
- Shige-san. First: they are not cushions. Next: get your hands out of them.
- If your arm hurts, try not to move too much.
- You know, with you over me, that's not even so difficult!
- Anyone knows what happened?
- An earthquake?
- An accident?
- And why is everything so dark?
- And why don't you all get out of me?
- I like dark places....
- Is it safe? To move?
- If it was really an earthquake, we better look out for a safer place. Others might be comming.
- Yaaa! I'm scared!
- Shige-san. The hand.
- Doesn't look like an earthquake. Was too abrupt.
- And since when they are not?
- That's it! Earthquake or not, I'm getting out of here!

- 00:09 AM - room 303 -

She left, desperate, searching for the scream she heard a little ago. One of the girls was in trouble and it was her duty to take care of it.
Running fast through the now narrow corridor, she couldn't help but notice the destruction building up ahead her.
Some of the younger eggs, visibly shaken, were leaving her rooms, in search for a sempai to confort them. Many of them were crying.
However, she had no time to play babysitter now. Not when she could still hear the screams comming from not far ahead. She could recognize the voice, but with all the noise, couldn't figure out from whom it was.
Suddenly she understood the origin of the whole problem.
Definitively this was no earthquake. There, on her left, where just moments before was another of the many rooms, now existed a pile of darken ruins. The moon light coming from a broken window enlightened the scene with a white and ethereal glow.
The once white and solid door now was partially destructed,  with only some small parts still hanging on thier hinges. Inside, absolutelly nothing was as originally it should be. Many of the objects were absolutelly irecognizable.
A little relieved for not founding anything indicating that someone was inside on the moment of the tragedy, she walked around a little more calm. It was when she noticed what was disturbing her.
"I can see the ruins and many broken objects, but no fire..."
"So where do this strong smell come from?
"This is much worse that the usual pranks from Yaguchi. This is serious."
"And who is this room from?"
While walking inside the now destructed room, her thoughts were cut by a moan of true pain comming from the door the other side of the corridor. She got distracted and someone was suffering for it.
Her heart frozed for a second on the sight of the pink numbers at the door. 306. And for a brief moment of pure terror she could remember the time she first met her, competing at the audition for a place at this group. At that time no one could predict how close the two of them would become.
"Oh God! Not her... Don't let anything happen to her, please!"

- 00:23 AM - a secondary staircase -

The group moved slowly, everyone close to each other.
None of them wanted to get lost on that darkness.
- Are you sure this is the correct way?
- I'm not sure of anything! It's as dark as the future of Coconuts Musume here!
- I really think we shold have stayed at the room.
- And risk to be cought frequenting that place? Over my dead bo*
- SCHH! Someone is there....
They all stoped, watching the suspect movement.
The weak light comming from the room was suficient enough just to discern two distinct figures. One tall and one short.
None of the girls dared to make any movement until the two misterious people leaved the place silently, covered by the darkness.

- 00:27 AM - between two floors -

Her fingers were already skined by the force she was making.
The cut on her palm hurt and the blood was making her hand slippery.
She had no idea on who much more time she could handle to hold herself safe.
"Oh my prince, why don't you turn up to save me?" She would think, occasionally.
As she looked down one more time, calculating, her vision started to blur.
"And why the hell they did the height of the first floor the double the usual?"
Feeling the last bit of her strenth to vanish, she knew she had to do something.
"Jump? Try to pull me up one more time? Maybe someone will finally come..."
She was considerably calm.
Considering it was her life at risk here...

************************************

OMG! This girls is in reeeeaaaal trouble... She should:

A) Try to get up. She may still have some strength left. Who knows...
B) Stay as she is. Never give up on your loved one.
C) Let go! Better to jump in a controled way than just fall
D) Scream bloody murder (this time D was made by rndmnwierd. Thanks!)
« Last Edit: November 23, 2006, 07:42:32 PM by 00HB »
I needed to put al least four letters... ¬¬'

Offline rndmnwierd

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A Work in Progress
« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2006, 07:08:18 PM »
D) Scream bloody murder

Offline katatsumuri

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« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2006, 02:19:16 AM »
I'll go for 'D) Scream bloody murder ' then. That looks like an interesting choice.

Offline lil_hamz

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« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2006, 04:31:42 AM »
Yup D sounds good. And I'm dying to know who's in Room 306. Tell me PLLEEEEASE!!

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