Actually you do make sense, although you're not exactly replying to what I was saying.
It must be nice to feel love though. For me, I see and I observe, but I don't really feel it. It's like I'm watching it through a glass wall, and despite being intellectually aware of its qualities, I have never experienced it personally in an intimate way, at least not that I can clearly remember.
I might have been loved before. I might have loved before. If I ever did, I don't remember. There's a blank in my mind about this particular emotion, reduced to a bunch of facts and nothing more.
That's what I meant when I say I don't believe in love. Because for me it's not real, even though I don't deny that it might be real for other people. I might change my mind one day, but right now there's nothing that would. Because I don't feel anything at all.
Also, this is why I like the song Nanchatte Renai.
There's one part of the chorus that I can understand very well.
なちゃって恋愛をしたとこで寂しくなるだけ
それなのにぬくもりを感じたくなる
Even though there's only loneliness after finishing with this fake love
I can still feel the warmth from itEven if I can only see love through a glass wall, I can still pretend to understand.