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Offline bot

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[3/2007 Fic of the Month] Traveler
« Reply #160 on: March 03, 2007, 03:20:06 PM »
well, i believe len.chan :p
unless Konno appears with a bo, that is....


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Offline Estrea

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« Reply #161 on: March 04, 2007, 03:45:46 PM »
Interesting fic! Time-space bending is always fun.

(and poor Aya being left alone in the room was sort of...ehhh. not very gentlemanly, Miki! :P)

Wonder what's going to happen next chapter. Can't wait!

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Offline black velvet

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« Reply #162 on: March 05, 2007, 03:00:50 AM »
Congratulations on fic of the month! You deserve it! ^^

Indeed. How rude of Miki to just leave Aya, but I guess that's better than getting beaten up! Besides, I'm looking foward to the Yossi vs. Miki fight.

Offline len.chan

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Traveler ch. 13
« Reply #163 on: March 05, 2007, 11:01:39 PM »
Estrea; wellcome and thanks for reading!

ok guys.. don't expect too much 'cause this fight thing was more difficult to write that I expected...


13


Matsuura had dressed up and left the room after hearing noises coming from the outside. Walking slowly to not force her leg, she followed the voices, reaching the exit of the dorms and walking in a little square where all the girls were cheering. Curious about hearing Miki’s name a few times, she walked towards the group and reached the first row to have a good view of what was happening. First, she was surprised that nobody had paid attention to her… then; she saw it too…

The end of one of Fujimoto’s sais was just a few inches away from Yossi’s chest. The taller had stopped it with the edge of her katana and the two weapons had ended entwined, waiting for the next move of their owners.

 “Amazing, huh?” said someone next to Aya “Five minutes and she’s still standing”

Yuko was watching the fight with a serious expression in her face but Matsuura didn’t pay too much attention to her. She just returned her eyes to the centre of the circle.

“You’re slow!” said Miki releasing her weapon and throwing away Yossi’s.

Yoshizawa saw herself unprotected. She knew that the fight was just a practice, a way for Nakazawa to test her, and that Miki won’t attack her being disarmed. But when she saw the sais going again towards her, Yossi’s mind went blank and her body began to move on its own.

She stepped backwards and, with a fast movement, picked up the sword again, just in time to avoid Fujimoto. Her opponent relaxed a bit and let her a few seconds to stand up and recover her breath.

“Who are you in your world? A clown?” said Miki with a mocking tone while she began to walk around Yossi.
“I’m the leader of a group” answered Yoshizawa brandishing the sword again ready for the next round “We sing, dance and work hard to make people happy with our songs”

Fujimoto couldn’t help but bursting out laughing.

“Yeah.., but don’t laugh ‘cause you’re the subleader”

The new information took Miki of guard making her loose the concentration for a moment, just a second, but enough for Yoshizawa to attack. Everybody kept their breaths when they saw the sword grazing the older’s arm. Luckily, Miki reacted just in time to avoid the sharpen edge and it ended just in a scratch.

“You have to stop this” said a worried Ishikawa turning to Yuko.
“Not yet”

Miki stared at the thread of blood rolling down her arm and then, looking straight at Yossi, she smiled.

“Now it’s gonna be fun”

She attacked again and this time Yossi didn’t move back but wait her opponent firmly. Something in her eyes had changed but Miki noticed it too late. So fast that almost anyone had seen what happened, Yoshizawa got rid of the sais and disarmed Fujimoto.

Seeing that, Aya’s heart began to beat faster. Nakazawa saw it too and she became a bit worried. The leader turned to Kaoru, who was behind her watching concentrated.

“She did that before?” asked Yuko.
“I… don’t know…”
“She’s faster than before…” said the older staring again at the fight “…more firm and precise…”
“She moves like her…”

This time even Rika turned to look at Aya.

“What do you mean?” asked Nakazawa.
“I’ve grown seeing my sister fight and every single of her moves are stuck in my head” explained the younger “That’s her…”

The mood from the beginning of the fight had change completely. The cheering had stopped and now everybody remained quiet and expectant. What was a simple practice had become a real combat where none of the girls was going to give up.

Having Fujimoto disarmed, Yossi thrown her sword too and both girls agreed to continue without weapons. Now was a hand-to-hand fight where the faster was the first to hit. And that was Miki.

The older’s fist connected with Yoshizawa’s face at the level of her mouth and, immediately, the younger returned the blow hitting Miki’s stomach with her elbow. The fight intensify, the movements were faster and harder. A kick followed a punch and then a grip from behind that Yossi’s got rid of it easily knocking down Miki. The younger didn’t give up and, taking Yoshizawa’s leg, knocked down the younger as well, keeping the fight on the floor.

“Ok girls, it’s over”

Nakazawa finally had seen that the youngers were going too far with the practice and it was time to stop it. But the girls didn’t seem to agree ‘cause they stood up and keep fighting.

“I’ve said it’s over!”

This time the woman stepped inside the circle and stayed between them with a menacing glare. Both Yossi and Miki knew that it was better to not make Yuko angrier, so they relaxed and began to walk in opposite directions leaving the square.

“That’s better” sighed Nakazawa “That was enough for today…”


To be continued...

****
I know that a lot of people'll be thinking 'how the hell knows Yossi how to use a katana and fight that way?' don't worry.. i'll explain it later :P

Offline jenmoshka

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« Reply #164 on: March 06, 2007, 12:03:25 AM »
Ahhh...Miki with sais...Yossui with a katana...Yossui actually being able to disarm Miki of her sais...:heart:

I don't think I was really thinking "How the hell can this 'normal world' Yossui do all of that?!" while reading this chapter!!  I was just so caught up with the pure hotness of a good fight XD  Keep it up len.chan, you have FOTM for a reason!  :heart:
:heart: :heart: Forever a Yossui Fangirl :heart: :heart:   

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Offline Blizzard

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« Reply #165 on: March 06, 2007, 12:17:25 AM »
Jen said it all!  This chapter is full of awesomeness!!  :heart:

So, there's actually a reason why Yossui knows how to use the katana?  I can't wait to find it out!  

Keep up the great work, len.chan!!!

Offline Saikami

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« Reply #166 on: March 06, 2007, 01:06:29 AM »
Ah, awsome fight! I love how they were both too stubborn to give up until Yuko was pissed. XD Maybe Yossie knows how to kick ass with a katana because although she's from another world, she's still the same person? :O? That's just my guess. ^^;; Great chapter!
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Offline JFC

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« Reply #167 on: March 06, 2007, 01:40:22 AM »
YoMiki fight was cool. Particularly liked the part where Yossi tells her "You're the subleader." :lol: Would have loved to see Miki's face when she heard that. XD

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Offline black velvet

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« Reply #168 on: March 06, 2007, 02:08:20 AM »
^ Same here! That was a major burn.

I think you did a good job writing the fight. I was expecting Aya to be a bit torn with emotions; some for Miki and some for her "sister".

Offline Estrea

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« Reply #169 on: March 06, 2007, 05:18:07 AM »
Interesting fight! Yeah I agree, fight scenes are not the easiest to write. But I think you did just fine, so don't worry. :) Yossi being so good with a katana is really a surprise. Although the part where she told Miki about her job back on her own world, and catching Miki offguard with the "You're the subleader" line....pure genius and a great distraction technique! I rofl'ed at that part. XD Had to grin when Yuko had to step in to make them stop later. So competitive as always. :D Great chapter, keep them coming!

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

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Offline rndmnwierd

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« Reply #170 on: March 06, 2007, 06:45:03 AM »
Awesomeness = len.chan! I loved this chapter.

Offline Mikan

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« Reply #171 on: March 06, 2007, 10:49:53 AM »
I um...ah..was...well......sorta...a-..aroused...Yossui and Miki fighting with katanas and sais...then a full on brawl...dude...awesome
« Last Edit: March 06, 2007, 10:58:32 AM by Mikan »

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Offline Amarghetta

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« Reply #172 on: March 06, 2007, 05:09:56 PM »
Hey, that was good! (But kinda short... :p). I have my own ideas as to why Yossi turned out to be good with the katana, but I'll wait for you to clear things up.

Loved the 'subleader' line. It's funny and bitchy, yet I also considered another possibility: even if it was not Yossi's intention (and therefore, yours), it's an indirect way to let Miki know that she's not good enough...

Anyways, I should just wait for the next update. :D

Offline coachie

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« Reply #173 on: March 06, 2007, 06:45:29 PM »
Quote
“Who are you in your world? A clown?” said Miki with a mocking tone while she began to walk around Yossi.
“I’m the leader of a group” answered Yoshizawa brandishing the sword again ready for the next round “We sing, dance and work hard to make people happy with our songs”

Fujimoto couldn’t help but bursting out laughing.

“Yeah.., but don’t laugh ‘cause you’re the subleader”

I just had to quote this, pure gold moment! XD

And about Yossie knowing how to handle a Katana, maybe it's her secret hobby and she's been practicing sword fight for years!

I was half expecting Aya to interrupt the fight and protect her "sister"

Offline Owaranai_sLaVe

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[3/2007 Fic of the Month] Traveler
« Reply #174 on: March 09, 2007, 07:55:55 AM »
Quote from: Mikan;323224
I um...ah..was...well......sorta...a-..aroused...Yossui and Miki fighting with katanas and sais...then a full on brawl...dude...awesome
Ha, ha ha ha ha hah~ I wasn't the only one!

wait... :ONsweat: *hides*

Ok, not aroused, but more than amused and less than "omg wet". But definitly awesome. It's almost better than the mud wrestling! Wait, it is! Weapons then a fist fight... yum.

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Offline Mikan

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« Reply #175 on: March 09, 2007, 03:54:22 PM »
Quote from: Owaranai_sLaVe;325400
Ha, ha ha ha ha hah~ I wasn't the only one!

wait... :ONsweat: *hides*

Ok, not aroused, but more than amused and less than "omg wet". But definitly awesome. It's almost better than the mud wrestling! Wait, it is! Weapons then a fist fight... yum.

-Owaranai_sLaVe



*Hugs* Frieeeeeend!! I totally thought I was alone on that one XD I was worried!

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Offline len.chan

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Traveler ch. 14
« Reply #176 on: March 09, 2007, 06:19:30 PM »
well, It's seems that the fight scene was a success XDXD
next chapter isn't so 'amusing' but I hope you like it as well


14


“Ouch!”
“Whiner…”
“Whiner? Did you see what she did to me?” complaint Yossi, pointing at her swollen lip while Ishikawa was trying to clean the wound.
“Yeah, I saw it. But I saw what you did to her, too”

That’s right. Yoshizawa had almost forgotten about it, but she was the one who hurt Miki first and, just the idea of her opponent not able to avoid the sword in time, made her froze. How could have that happened?  She’d never had a weapon in her hands and, of course, never had that kind of fight before but there, in that square with Fujimoto, her body had reacted by instinct, as if she had spent her life doing that. Even now, she could feel that it was still there, that… strength.

“No one had disarmed Miki before…” said Rika still taking care of the wounds.
“Well, someone had to be the first”
“You don’t understand. She hates losing. If Nakazawa-san hadn’t stopped the fight…”
“You were worried about me?”

Rika’s hand stopped and dropped the gauze which she was cleaning the remains of blood with. Her eyes first glued to the floor as trying to find something to say. Then, she raised her head and looked straight into Yossi’s eyes.

“I can’t help it” was her answer.

Yossi closed her eyes, feeling the warm that came with Ishikawa’s hand caressing her cheek. She knew how the older must be feeling, the fight that must be inside her, because she began to feel it too. Yossi knew she wasn’t her Rika but, even so, she can’t fight that urge to hug her. She spoke like her, she walked like her, she even smelled like her… it was driving her crazy ‘cause, in the end, she wasn’t Rika. As well she wasn’t her Hitomi.

The younger opened her eyes again. She had to make things clear before Ishikawa took a step that she could regret later. Because, if something was clear was that she would leave soon. But, before she could speak, Rika’s index finger sealed her lips.

“I know” she said with sorrow in her voice “But it doesn’t matter who you are or where you came from. The only thing that matters is that Rika will always love Hitomi”


***


 There it was that strange feeling again, oppressing her chest since she’d woke up the first time in that strange room. It felt like home… safe… She didn’t feel like that since her sister died.

Hitomi… It wasn’t just that she looked like her… Now it moved like her, fought like her, even the way she stared at Ishikawa was the same. That made Aya feel sick, just like months ago.

She’s not her… I shouldn’t care about that anymore…

But, what if that girl was her second chance? What if fate sent another Hitomi to let her rectify her mistakes? Maybe that way she could forgive herself for being a coward and run away, not just from the monsters but from her own feelings.

“Not hungry?” asked someone sitting next to her.

Returning from her inner thoughts, Aya looked at her plate. It’s true; she almost hadn’t touched her dinner. The confusion in her head was affecting her stomach too. Then, she noticed who was at her side and went back to her usual self.

“It’s none of your business”

Obviously, Yuko wasn’t expecting a kind answer coming from Aya. So, she just smiled and stayed there.

“I know you’re not like that”
“You don’t know how I am” replied Matsuura with her rough tone.
“Well, maybe I don’t know the woman…” said the older, who was trying her best to keep a conversation “…but I knew the child, and you know? You were a good kid… stubborn, annoying and a cry-baby but a good kid. And something tells me that that little Aya’s still there”

Matsuura didn’t answer. She just glared at the woman and returned her attention to her food, trying to not seem interested in whatever Yuko had to say.

“Good.., keep that invulnerable façade all that you want…” Nakazawa stood up ready to leave “But if I didn’t give up with Fujimoto I’m not going to give up with you.”
“And what has to do Miki in this?”

The question surprised both Yuko and Aya herself. For some weird reason, the simple mention of that name caught her attention. Yuko smirked. It wasn’t in her plans to talk about Fujimoto, but she didn’t see anything wrong about it as long as she could keep Aya interested. Maybe it would be a good way to approach her.

“You’re pretty similar, you know?” began to say the woman “Both stubborn to death and with the same need to feel loved by someone…”
“I’m not like her”
“That’s true, there’s a difference” answered Nakazawa laughing “You didn’t punch me yet”

Yuko stared at the younger a few seconds before continue to be sure that Aya wanted to hear the story. Seeing that she didn’t move from her seat, even if she seemed a bit pissed of so, Nakazawa spoke again.

“See those kids?” she said pointing at a group of children playing around the bonfire, throwing the remains of their dinner to each other “They’re here ‘cause someone took care of them, because someone wanted to give them a safe place where they could live and feel loved. Those kids, the same as you did, will grow up being watched by someone who’ll protect them ‘til death”

While hearing Yuko’s words, Aya saw Miki walking towards the kids and trying to stop the pitched battle that had began around the fire. The girl stayed there glaring and shouting to the hyperactive demons to be quiet but she just got to become the target of the attacks.

Matsuura couldn’t help but smile.

“She didn’t have anyone” continued Yuko, staring at Fujimoto with a motherly look in her eyes “We found her half dead five years ago. We carried her here, took care of the wounds and wait until she woke up to know what had happened to her. What we weren’t expecting was that she could hit me right before opening her eyes. With that, she stated that she wasn’t going to allow anyone to help her. Luckily, she was too weak to leave”
“But she recovered”
“Yeah, and faster than anyone was expecting. But there it was Rika-chan to make her stay”
“How?”
“I don’t know. Mysteries of this live. I didn’t asked, either”
“I don’t believe a single word of that story” said Aya “How could you don’t know anything about her and even so to want her to stay?”
“There are times when you don’t need words to know someone, Aya. But if you still don’t believe me, believe the smile in the faces of those kids. I know there’s a reason for Miki to take care of them and I just hope that, someday, someone will be able to find that answer”

The younger looked at Fujimoto who was trying to get rid of a bunch of kids climbing on her back. She really seemed different from the image that Aya had about her at first. Someone who, apparently, cared so much about the people around her couldn’t be so bad, right?  

As if she hadn’t enough with her sister look alike…, now she had to deal with that annoying feeling of confusion about Miki.


To be continued...
« Last Edit: March 09, 2007, 07:27:05 PM by len.chan »

Offline Estrea

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« Reply #177 on: March 09, 2007, 06:46:35 PM »
First to comment! XD

Yay for plot development! Things seem to be getting awkward on the Yossi/Rika front. They both know that the other is not the one they love, but because of the identical thing and everything...confusing, as usual. I hope they figure out what to do before making any hugeass mistakes they'll come to regret.

And hmmm! Aya appears to be re-evaluating Miki. Excellent! GAM~~~!!! Ahem. Love how Yuko played wise mother/giver of advice here. Aya could do well to remember how to be the "little Aya" that Yuko remembers. XD Can't wait to read more! :)

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
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Offline Amarghetta

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« Reply #178 on: March 09, 2007, 06:59:42 PM »
Quote from: len.chan;325675

The younger looked at Fujimoto who was trying to get rid of a bunch of kids climbing on her back. She really seemed different from the image that Aya had about her at first. Someone who, apparently, cared so much about the people around her couldn’t be so bad, right?  

For some reason, I do believe that kids like being around Miki. Dunno why, but there's something about her which makes me think so. :P

Offline MyDearYossi

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« Reply #179 on: March 09, 2007, 07:07:30 PM »
Quote
"...Rika will always love Hitomi"

Ah, so sweet:ONluvluv1:  And true, too:ONxD:

Miki with kids:heart:

Everything is just so:panda_love:

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