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Author Topic: Traveler [ch. 31 up -07/10]  (Read 91279 times)

Offline coachie

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[3/2007 Fic of the Month] Traveler
« Reply #180 on: March 09, 2007, 07:10:22 PM »
Quote from: MyDearYossi;325701
Ah, so sweet:ONluvluv1:  And true, too:ONxD:


Hey, that's just what I wanted to say XD

I loved this chapter esp. the Aya/Yuko conversation

Offline Saikami

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« Reply #181 on: March 10, 2007, 04:09:41 AM »
Aww! Cute chapter! -says in singsong voice- Aya's in love~! -stops singsong voice- XD The Yuko/Aya convo was great, Yuko really got to Aya and that was good. <3 And I really love when Yuko said "You didn't punch me yet." XD
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Offline rndmnwierd

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« Reply #182 on: March 10, 2007, 04:32:22 AM »
Yay, update! Lol at Miki being attacked by little kids.

Offline Owaranai_sLaVe

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« Reply #183 on: March 10, 2007, 04:40:38 AM »
Quote from: Mikan;325597
*Hugs* Frieeeeeend!! I totally thought I was alone on that one XD I was worried!
Hey, we're all family/friends in PTA ;) We stick together, even in pervy thoughts, haha.

I just can't help but picture the kids ontop of Miki... that's so cute. :ONdunno: I wanna ride Miki...

Busted-lip-Yossui... uuu~

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Offline Yuuyami

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« Reply #184 on: March 10, 2007, 04:47:54 AM »
Agreeing with my cousin xD

Aya is definitely reconsidering her feelings for Miki as the writing has deeply implied. I definitely look forward to her character development, seeing that she's the one who seems to be worked on the most :]

This is just the conflict I see happening. The whole "She's just like her... But not her..." kind of thing. I'd imagine that after a few worlds, she'll lose that conflict in her head whenever she meets Rika. Wonder how she'll cope with it as of now :<...

I still want to see Hitomi meeting Hitomi in some future world out there... It's like.. Prince and the Pauper? xD!!!? Or my twisted ways that you'll never do (Yossie x Yossie? Roffle xD)

Write more dearie <3

Offline JFC

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« Reply #185 on: March 10, 2007, 05:32:47 AM »
Aya/Yuko convo was definitely the focal point in this chapter. :yep:  In it we see some aspects of the personalities of Aya & Miki (and in a way, Yuko too) previously unseen in this universe's versions of them.  Very nice to see the human side of things amongst all the (good) craziness of the rest of the story.

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline black velvet

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« Reply #186 on: March 10, 2007, 03:57:20 PM »
Ah, Ishiyoshi is love. :heart: Rika's comment was absolutely sweet! Also, the Aya/Yuko conversation was good, and I think it opened up Aya's eyes (say that 3 x fast!) some more. Of course, I giggled at the mental image of Miki berating, yet playing with kids.

Kyoooot!~

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« Reply #187 on: March 10, 2007, 10:21:52 PM »
The thing that keeps me wondering is who Rika had Kaoru with, was she married? I guess we have to wait a little longer to find out or something.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2010, 06:36:31 AM by mode107 »

Offline len.chan

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« Reply #188 on: March 10, 2007, 11:27:26 PM »
wow! let's comment comments...

Quote from: Estrea

Yay for plot development! Things seem to be getting awkward on the Yossi/Rika front. They both know that the other is not the one they love, but because of the identical thing and everything...confusing, as usual. I hope they figure out what to do before making any hugeass mistakes they'll come to regret.

And hmmm! Aya appears to be re-evaluating Miki. Excellent! GAM~~~!!! Ahem. Love how Yuko played wise mother/giver of advice here. Aya could do well to remember how to be the "little Aya" that Yuko remembers. Can't wait to read more!

that's what Yossi's trying to do. She knows that Rika's going to forget at any moment that she's not the one she loved and that's why Yossi has to be the strong one right now, even if it's difficult for her too.
And about Aya... yeah, maybe she's re-evaluating Miki.. but it won't be so easy for her to accept that she was wrong about something XDXD

Quote from: Amarghetta
For some reason, I do believe that kids like being around Miki. Dunno why, but there's something about her which makes me think so.
Quote from: rndmnwierd
Yay, update! Lol at Miki being attacked by little kids.
Quote from: Owaranai_sLaVe
I just can't help but picture the kids ontop of Miki... that's so cute. I wanna ride Miki...

remember the Hello! Morning where the girls went to a school and played teachers? There Miki seemed very kind with the kids and enjoying being with them, although I can bet that she felt more like one of more than like their teacher XD Someway, I wanted to show that side of Miki in the fic.

Quote from: Saikami
Aww! Cute chapter! -says in singsong voice- Aya's in love~! -stops singsong voice- The Yuko/Aya convo was great, Yuko really got to Aya and that was good. <3 And I really love when Yuko said "You didn't punch me yet."

Yuko's great, no matter if it's making a party or giving advice, she's great XD remember, she's THE leader XD

Quote from: Yuuyami
Agreeing with my cousin xD

Aya is definitely reconsidering her feelings for Miki as the writing has deeply implied. I definitely look forward to her character development, seeing that she's the one who seems to be worked on the most :]

This is just the conflict I see happening. The whole "She's just like her... But not her..." kind of thing. I'd imagine that after a few worlds, she'll lose that conflict in her head whenever she meets Rika. Wonder how she'll cope with it as of now :<...

I still want to see Hitomi meeting Hitomi in some future world out there... It's like.. Prince and the Pauper? xD!!!? Or my twisted ways that you'll never do (Yossie x Yossie? Roffle xD)


I really don't know how I ended writing Aya like this.. I didn't have the intention to develop her character more or less than the others. Maybe it's because I have to work in two different stories for her.. the one with Yossi and the one with Miki... i don't know XD
Yocchan's question... you know, now it's difficult for Yossi 'cause it's the first time that she have to deal with another Rika, but do you really think that she'll get use to it when she'll have to meet one after another Rika? Don't you think It can be even more difficult to have to face the same once and again? well... we'll see :P
and no! I refuse to write Yossi x Yossi! XD

Quote from: JFC
Aya/Yuko convo was definitely the focal point in this chapter. In it we see some aspects of the personalities of Aya & Miki (and in a way, Yuko too) previously unseen in this universe's versions of them. Very nice to see the human side of things amongst all the (good) craziness of the rest of the story.

well, Aya needs someone to guide her and who better than Yuko?
You know, What i'm writing here isn't about time-traveling or monsters or whatever.. it's about feelings. So, of course you'd have to see some aspects of their personalities to understand how they act the way they act with each other. Kaoru's school project was just a lame excuse to write about it XDXDXD

Quote from: black velvet
    Ah, Ishiyoshi is love. Rika's comment was absolutely sweet! Also, the Aya/Yuko conversation was good, and I think it opened up Aya's eyes (say that 3 x fast!) some more. Of course, I giggled at the mental image of Miki berating, yet playing with kids.

Kyoooot!~

yeah, the conversation opened Aya's eyes (it's difficult to say it fast! XD) a little.. but she won't admit it XD

Quote from: modesta107
they thing that keeps me wondering, who did Rika have kaoru with, was she married? I guess we have to wait a little longer to find out or something

a little longer... yeah... probably 'til almost the end of the fic :P


aaaah~ that was long XDXD
I've just began to write next.. so give me a few days :P

Offline adn

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« Reply #189 on: March 12, 2007, 12:59:14 AM »
aah, this is just *raburii (raburii) raburii (raburii) ->egao yes nuuuudo* XDDD
the ishiyoshi, GAM (honestly, i don't like matssura and i bet i will someday, hahaha, but it's miki and she's miki's best friend so... rsrs), neesan (THE leader!!! XD) and miki x little demons! XD
but............... i want more gottsuan!!! XOOO
yeah, i know, but i can't help it
it was "when love hurts" that made me love gottsuan so much
and
will you write yossie/aya? this relationship is very interesting
'cause in the "real world" they're like... you know... like that... like they are... hahahha.... XD

Offline orangesocks

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« Reply #190 on: March 12, 2007, 01:48:00 AM »
Quote
“I know” she said with sorrow in her voice “But it doesn’t matter who you are or where you came from. The only thing that matters is that Rika will always love Hitomi”

Waaaahhh....Rika's so romantic! I also don't mind which worlds they're from as long as there's Ishiyoshi chemistry! XD

Quote
I refuse to write Yossi x Yossi!
haha, if it happened, I imagine they'd spend all their time trying to seduce each other with no avail.

Offline Mikan

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« Reply #191 on: March 12, 2007, 02:59:08 PM »
I read this and I smile and giggle and feel warm. I cant explain it. There is just something not only about this story and its setting but also about you len.chan. I feel content.

This chapter was nice. It was great. I loved it (These words get old from too much use XD ) Im excited and curious at the same time to find out where it all leads...

Till next time!

Read the complete Doki Doki!!

Offline len.chan

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« Reply #192 on: March 13, 2007, 05:19:13 PM »
adn; hey.. you know? I don't like Aya either XD but the GAM combo is something superior to me.. I can't help it XD
about Maki, of course I'm going to write about her more, but not yet :P
and Yossi/Aya... I don't know.. it's difficult to imagine that.. but you can expect everything coming from me.. XD

orangesocks; uoh, new reader? ^^ wellcome!

Mikan; you know.. that touched my heart. I'm curious to know where all of this leads too 'cause I don't have idea.. XDXD (seriously.. I always end writing something totally different from what I had in mind...)

weeeell... chapter dedicated to the GAM fans

15
[/B]


After a few endless minutes, the kids seemed to calm down, letting Fujimoto seat in front of the fire and breath again. One of the children was next to her, looking at the scratch that had left the edge of Yossi’s sword.

“It hurts?”

Miki denied with her head and smiled at the kid.

“Not at all”

While she was trying to convince her little demons that it was already time to go to bed, Fujimoto saw someone standing behind her. After what happened, the last thing she wasn’t expecting is that Matsuura wanted to talk with her.

“How’s your leg?” asked the older, standing from her seat and walking towards Aya.
“Better”

End of conversation. None of the girls knew what to say and that lead to an awkward silence. They just stayed there, staring, waiting for the other to say the first word. Luckily for them, someone interrupted their ‘moment’ pulling from Miki’s trousers.

“She’s Mikitan’s girlfriend?”

The question came from below, from a tiny voice which belonged to a little girl, no more than five or six years, big eyes, messy hair, puffy cheeks and an innocent smile, that was waiting for an answer.

Aya’d frozen for a moment, but Miki just smiled and kneeled to be at the same level as the child.

“Nah…, she hates me. Besides…” she said pinching the kid’s right cheek “I only have eyes for you”

The little girl was pleased enough with the answer and left with a wide smile in her face. Fujimoto looked at her walking happily and then stood up again, just to find Matsuura staring at her with a weird mocking face, trying to hold her laugh.

“What’s so funny?”
“Miki… tan?”
“You have a problem with that?” asked Fujimoto a bit angry.
“No… no, it’s just that… you know… isn't too cute for you?”
“Because I’m a scarred face monster who likes to seduce helpless girls?”
“Sort of”
“You know… I’m a nice girl…” said Miki taking a step towards Aya.
“Let me doubt that”
“…and you’ve begun to like me…”
“Keep dreaming” Matsuura crossed her arms as trying to avoid any contact.
“…as much as I’ve begun to like you”
“You’re sure you didn’t hit your head in that fight?”
“Yeah, pretty sure” smiled Fujimoto, who was enjoying her little game “If you don’t like me then tell me, why are you talking to me right now?”
“I was… bored” answered the younger.

Of course, it was a lame excuse that Miki didn’t believe. The older smirked at Aya’s reaction and walked a bit closer to her, leaving just a breath between their bodies.

“Then…” began to say Miki with a playful voice “…we could repeat what we did hours ago to keep you entertained…”
“No, thanks”
“Why not? You had fun…”

Aya blushed just remembering what happened, but she tried to not show it to the other girl.

“No, I didn’t”
“Yes, you did” insisted Miki

Fujimoto surrounded Aya’s waist with her arms and leant dangerously to reach the younger’s lips. Miki had prepared herself for any kick or punch or whatever kind of attack that Matsuura could burst in, but it never happened. Aya just stayed there, as trying to show that she was strong enough to hold any attempt that the older could make to seduce her.

“Don’t even try it…”
“Stop me” said Miki with a sexy voice, not scared of Matsuura’s threatening look.

And someone stopped her. Not Aya, though.

Still with the younger in her arms, Miki bowed her head and saw the kid from minutes ago pulling again from her trousers.

“The elders are bothering me~” said the kid with her eyes red from crying.

Miki looked at the kid and then at Aya again. Such a bad moment to interrupt.

“Come on, Tan” said the younger with a mocking tone in her voice “A helpless lady needs you”

And that’s how Fujimoto Miki had to give up this time at her attempt to win another heart. She took the kid in her arms and looked at Aya one last time before leaving, just to make the younger know that the game hadn’t finished yet.

When Miki was far enough, Matsuura sighed and her heart began to beat again at its normal pace.

Something’s really wrong with me today…


***


“So, when’s going to come back her friend?”
“Maki?” asked Yuko looking at her friend “I told her to wait a few days”
“Why?”
“I want to have Aya here alone. She needs to get out of that little world where she lives and begin to communicate with people”

Kaori stared at Matsuura, who was standing a few meters ago, near to the bonfire, still at the same place where Miki had left her.

“Why do you care so much about that girl? I know you always liked challenges but yet…”
“I was there the day Yoshizawa found her” answered Yuko.
“Really?”

Nakazawa nodded.

“My father was Yoshizawa’s superior and I was with him all the time. One day, being on patrol, we found the remains of a community which had been just attacked. There were only two survivors; Aya and her mother, but the woman’s wounds where too serious and she didn’t survive. Before she died, we promised her to take care of the kid and that’s what I’m doing”
“Who’d gonna say it…”
“What?”
“That a rebel like you could be such a responsible mom”

Yuko glared at her friend as if she was offended, punched Kaori on the shoulder and then both laughed.


To be continued...

Offline rndmnwierd

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« Reply #193 on: March 13, 2007, 05:44:28 PM »
Semi-love from GAM. Now if only Aya would start something...

Offline Amarghetta

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« Reply #194 on: March 13, 2007, 05:50:06 PM »
Quote from: len.chan;326343
remember the Hello! Morning where the girls went to a school and played teachers? There Miki seemed very kind with the kids and enjoying being with them, although I can bet that she felt more like one of more than like their teacher XD Someway, I wanted to show that side of Miki in the fic.


Actually, I haven't seen that... :p

Anyways, this last chapter was just a big tease. Don't try to deny it! It's intense, funny and GAM-licious, but too short...! XD

Offline Estrea

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« Reply #195 on: March 13, 2007, 07:40:38 PM »
The first thing I thought at the GAM part was "Kids say the darndest things" XD Gotta love the "girlfriend" comments and the untimely interruptions. Haha.

Kaori/Yuko moment was good too. Hehe. Yuko has excellent maternal instincts! xD

Can't wait for you to write more...wanna see what happens to GAM-love. ;)

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
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Offline coachie

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« Reply #196 on: March 13, 2007, 08:50:37 PM »
GAM love! :heart: * sighs contently and wanders off*

Offline Yuuyami

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« Reply #197 on: March 13, 2007, 09:34:02 PM »
Oh Aya, stop being stubborn and admit it. Miki already has xD

Another question that dwells in me is when Kaoru and Yossie are going to get out of that dimension xD... It's probably not too far, but I've grown accustomed to this one ;_; -going to miss battlescar Miki-

Offline Saikami

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« Reply #198 on: March 13, 2007, 10:00:55 PM »
Ah, agreeing with my cousin as usual. Aya needs to stop with her stubborness and just admit it. >:3 She knows she wants too <33 GAM love <333 yay. XD Great chapter once again.
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Offline katatsumuri

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« Reply #199 on: March 13, 2007, 11:46:59 PM »
:heart: G A M !! :heart:

Frankly speaking, I didn't like Aya too... but since Miki's in the group too.
:ONsweat:

At the rate it's going, It wouldn't take long for Aya to fall under Mii's charms.XD

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