Author Topic: Tom Cruise is the 'Christ' of Scientology (Read 2942 times)

Tuffty · « **on:** January 23, 2007, 02:34:02 PM »

Tom Cruise has been named the new "Christ" of Scientology, according to the leaders of the religion.

The Mission: Impossible star has reportedly been told that he has been chosen to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.

Cuckoo..cuckoo..cuckoo...

Does that constitute permission to crucify him?

JFC · « **Reply #1 on:** January 23, 2007, 04:05:58 PM »

Let's see him feed a few hundred starving people with just three loaves of bread and two fish. Then we'll talk.

Asmodai · « **Reply #2 on:** January 23, 2007, 04:24:06 PM »

Yeah, Tom Cruise is like Jesus, expect without the charisma, vision, philosophy or miracles.

Fracture · « **Reply #3 on:** January 23, 2007, 05:48:07 PM »

Hear that cackling sound in the distance? That's Hubbard laughing from beyond the grave.

Quote

"Tom has been told he is Scientology's Christ-like figure. Like Christ, he's been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right."

Wait...will that be before or after the alien ghosts emerge from a volcano to teach us calculus?

You know, I live not far from a Scientology center. These people are my neighbors. They seem so perfectly normal in everyday life...Then something like this comes along to remind me just how apeshit these people really are. This must be how Dahmer's neighbors felt when they said "He seemed like a nice, quiet boy. I just can't imagine him eating people's faces."

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go lock the doors and bar the windows.

楊枝君 · « **Reply #4 on:** January 23, 2007, 06:17:19 PM »

Obviously these people haven't met Koharu yet

I'm not entirely sure I'm going to be able to stop laughing at this just yet :ROFL

reyfer · « **Reply #5 on:** January 23, 2007, 06:30:42 PM »

And these people want to be taken seriously? Geez (or should I say "Cruise"?)

kaminokami2086 · « **Reply #6 on:** January 23, 2007, 06:34:31 PM »

Doesn't calling Cruise Jesus-like kill there almost non-credible religion's credibility even more? Seriously scientology was founded by a sci-fi author, can't these people get a clue?

RatBastich · « **Reply #7 on:** January 23, 2007, 06:39:59 PM »

This is some funny shit. :lmao:
Cruise the scientology christ.......thats just pure BS.

Put them on Comedy Central, I bet they'd be a hit.....everybody will just laugh their ass off.

Saburo · « **Reply #8 on:** January 23, 2007, 11:38:54 PM »

But can he still score the 8-ball on the break?

Tuffty · « **Reply #9 on:** January 23, 2007, 11:42:01 PM »

I can't believe that anyone could actually believe in a religion which was founded by a convicted fraudster and requires you to make a large donation in order to join...

robytronix · « **Reply #10 on:** January 24, 2007, 02:51:15 AM »

Has anyone heard the Hubbard soundbite about "crushing spirits together"? All this shit about taking babies and bashing them together to combine their spirits... Sweet.

RionZ · « **Reply #11 on:** January 24, 2007, 06:14:09 AM »

ROFL

"The Passion of the Cruise"

*patents that movie for year 4005*

Now time to sit back and watch it all happen before us lol

amuse · « **Reply #12 on:** January 24, 2007, 07:21:22 AM »

Scientology is a complete joke. The South Park episode that made fun of Scientology was one of the funniest episodes ever made

Here's a clip from the episode explaining what Scientology is about

[yt]A2IO2ocziJw[/yt]

ferrar1 · « **Reply #13 on:** January 24, 2007, 08:43:04 AM »

^ REALLY!!

I mean other than the fact that some parts look exageratted, is this really the basis of belief of scientology?

Saburo · « **Reply #14 on:** January 24, 2007, 08:48:42 AM »

Quote from: amuse;291593

Here's a clip from the episode explaining what Scientology is about

Hey, it ended in the middle!

How does it end?

Linus · « **Reply #15 on:** January 24, 2007, 12:46:54 PM »

Cruise has very good movies. He looks like a nice person. Why did he have to join this weird thing?

RionZ · « **Reply #16 on:** January 24, 2007, 04:16:19 PM »

lol man, i remember reading about and saw a pic of the Scientology 'official' document or artifact or whatever...its from their leader in space?? or something and it looks like its written on a napkin in very illegible drunkard cursive lol. I don't feel like diggin it up now, but i'm sure a google search can pull it up for those who are curious.

Fracture · « **Reply #17 on:** January 24, 2007, 04:27:51 PM »

Quote from: ferrar1;291637

^ REALLY!!

I mean other than the fact that some parts look exageratted, is this really the basis of belief of scientology?

Sadly that's not exaggerated at all

Anyway, all that goofiness was conjured up by the founder to disguise the real bottom line of Scientology: that a person's material worth is a measure of their human worth. So basically people have to pay the church to prove that they deserve to belong to it. Sound like a scam? It is, and Hubbard basically admitted it.

fudog · « **Reply #18 on:** January 26, 2007, 07:00:51 PM »

Quote from: Asmodai;290851

Yeah, Tom Cruise is like Jesus, expect without the charisma, vision, philosophy or miracles.

preach it brudda... this guy iz a nut, i mean we're all pretty crazy round here

but this amigo, either he brainwashed katie holmes or she's a golddigga or desperate... when i see him act i can't get it out of my head how much of a nut he is... ruins the movie altogether

Tyball · « **Reply #19 on:** January 29, 2007, 08:39:31 PM »

Quote from: Fracture;290916

Hear that cackling sound in the distance? That's Hubbard laughing from beyond the grave.

Or it might be him wailing in the Eighth Circle of Hell... :lmao: