RecapLast time we left our friendly viewers, Fen was taking her Japanese test, but she fell into a dream about Miki-sama and failed to complete any of the questions (except for #10) on her examination paper.
What happened after that?!
The answer lies in
Part 2 - A Fenelicious CarolFen walked home glumly in the snow, head down and eyebrows pinched together in a sad expression that would weaken even the bulkiest, toughest, most built up bouncer of a club. Her mom (who lived thousands of kilometres away) was going to kill her when she realized that... wait a minute! Her mom lived nowhere near her and didn't have to know a single thing about the test!
At least Fen had one good thing going in her life.
She sighed in relief and allowed herself a smile, muttering a thankful prayer to the almighty Comrade.
As she walked back from the exam venue, she had plenty of time to think. When she was about halfway to her neighbourhood of her village (for Fen lived in a small village full of pleasant but boring rice farmers), she saw something in the distance.
It looked like.....
Like....
FIRE!!!
"AHHHHH!!!!!" she screamed like a girly man.
Somewhere in the distance, Ayaya thought she could hear the voice of her ex-boyfriend. She shrugged it off and continued to sew (she was repairing some torn clothing).
So there was Fen. She was screaming about fire. When she shut up to take a breath (in order to scream some more), she heard a faint voice. It was calling for help.
AND IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR!
Her ears stood at attention.
"...help!" cried the voice.
"It's coming from the barn!" Fen cried out. "And it sounds like Rika-chan!"
Too worried about Rika's life to ask herself any questions (for example, "what was Rika doing in a barn in the middle of nowhere in the north of Japan?"), and took off towards the barn.
"I'll save you, Rika-chan!!" she cried out, her arms flailing above her head like a crazy lady.
She got to the door. In a show of superhuman strength, she kicked the door.
...But it didn't exactly work like it did in the movies. The wood was weak, but not that weak. As a result, the wood splintered, but the door did go tumbling down like she'd expected.
And her foot got stuck in the door.
"Aw CRAP!" she groaned. She stood there for two minutes trying to get her foot out of the door. When she finally did, she fell onto her butt with an "OOMPH!"
"Um, the door's already open!" Rika's voice came from inside.
"DOH!"
Fen picked herself up, brushed the dust off her butt (self-gropage!), and opened the door just like any
normal person would have done first.
Inside looked like hell on earth. Everything was ablaze. The poor cows' food was slowly being consumed by the fire!
"Rika-chan, where are you!" Fen called out.
"Forget Ishikawa. Save me!" roared a voice. In surprise, Fen turned around and saw Miki trapped under a giant piece of burning wood.
"Miki-sama!" she gasped. "What- what happened?!"
Miki spared her a glare.
"I got caught under this wooden beam this a burning barn," she replied as a matter of factly. "Would you mind helping me?"
"But don't forget me! Help me!" came Rika's voice.
Fen turned her head sideways and saw Rika lying on the ground. She was surrounded by fire.
"Rika-chan, what are you doing? Get up!!" Fen cried.
"I can't!" Rika sobbed. "I think my leg is broken!"
"My leg is broken, too!" Miki hollered over the roar of the flames.
Fen turned back to look at her. She then frowned.
"What were you two doing in a barn anyway?" she asked innocently.
An awkward silence was observed.
"We were practising Christmas carols," Rika finally said weakly.
"Oh, which ones? Can I help?"
Miki coughed.
"No, that's okay. We're all done now," Rika laughed nervously.
Miki coughed again.
"All right. Well, I'd better help you two," Fen sighed. Her two favourite girls didn't want her to sing Christmas carols with them, and that made her sad.
Just then, there was a pain-inducing creaking sound. The entire barn shuddered.
"Oh my god!" Miki cried out in English.
"It's going to collapse!" Rika screamed in her shrill voice.
"AHHH!!!!" Fen screamed her girly man scream.
Off in the distance, Ayaya looked up from her sewing, once again perplexed. She knew she should never have dated that idiot.
Fen looked frantically between Rika-chan and Miki-sama. How could she go about saving them?
Then she had a vision. She was struck down to the dirt floor as a voice filled her mind.
"Fen!" the voice boomed. it was a girl's voice. "You can only save one of them."
"What?! Why only one?!"
"Laws of physics, you idiot!" the voice retorted. "You must choose between Rika-chan and Miki-sama."
And as soon as the vision came, it was gone, and Fen stood up.
Save only one?!
Ridiculous!
She could not betray either girl. She could not leave one to die. She could not choose. She
would not choose.
She absolutely refused to choose!
"I'll save both of you!!!" she screamed.
"Um, I thought that was the plan," Miki muttered.
Fen sweatdropped.
"Rika-chan! I'm coming for you first!"
Fen ran and jumped across the ring of flames that had started to engulf the poor, weak singer. She hooked her hands under Rika and lifted her up. This time, it worked just like it did in the movies, and she was able to pick up Rika with no problem. She brought Rika over the ring of fire and dumped her on the ground in front of Miki.
"I can't believe you got her first," Miki spat at Fen. Fen swooned. Angry Miki equalled hot Miki.
"It's okay, Miki-sama. I was just saving the best for last."
As Fen said this, Rika started to curse like a drunken sailor.
Second best my ass. she thought.
In another Superman-ish way, Fen lifted the burning wood off of Miki and grabbed the front of Miki's jacket, pulling her forward and into relative safety.
"HANDS! HANDS!!" Miki warned her.
"Oh! Sorry," Fen blushed, letting go of Miki.
She couldn't have helped it. It was the easiest place to grab Miki. And it's not like she'd
touched anything. It was just her jacket.
"It's okay," Miki said sweetly.
I guess this Fen girl isn't that bad. I mean, she worships me and all... she thought smugly.
Hrmm....But Miki still had her doubts. How could Fen get them all out? Fen was too hot to be Superman (eat dirt, Dean Cain!), Rika's leg was broken, and her own leg was unusable.
"Fen... How are you going to get us out of here?" Rika asked, clutching her leg in pain.
The world became silent around Fen. She struck a heroic pose and looked up at the ceiling of the barn, ashes, flames, and soot flying every which way above her.
"I will save you BOTH!" she called out to the heavens. "AHAHAHAHAHAA!"
Rika looked a bit terrified.
Miki swooned.
Fen was
so hot!
Fen picked both girls up, one under each arm, and ran out of the barn just in time. As they jumped out the door and into a snowdrift, the barn exploded (later, they all read in the newspaper that there had been three tanks of gas stored there) and a cloud of dust and a fireball shot up into the sky.
Once the fireworks were over, the barn continued to burn in a calm, almost homely way.
"You saved us..." Miki said shyly, lying in the snow and looking up at Fen. Fen had never seen Miki shy before, and she was touched (not literally).
"Thanks for that," Rika said casually, getting up and brushing the snow off her butt (more self gropage!) and walking off.
"B-but wait!" Fen called out after her. "W-where are you going? What about your leg?”
"I have a hair appointment in Sendai. No mountain high enough and no river wide enough could keep me away from this appointment," Rika said with a wink, and she limped down the path, looking amazingly fine for a girl who just escaped from a burning barn with a broken leg.
Fen looked sad and sat in the snow. Denied again! She felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry about her. She's always like that. Never sticks around for the mushy stuff at the end."
"Um, okay," Fen said with a frown, not really getting it.
Miki coughed.
"Anyway, we never finished practicing, um... 'Last Christmas.' Want to help me with the harmony?" Miki asked shiftily, looking around over her shoulders in a suspicious manner.
"Okay!" Fen said cheerfully. "But we'll have to find another place! Your barn burned down."
Miki looked around one more time.
"Another place? We don't need another place. Here in the snow is just fine."
"Well, ok, but we might get cold," Fen said with a smile and a shrug.
"Um, no problem," Miki mumbled.
A minute passed.
"So, uh, are you going to start singing?" Fen asked.
Miki coughed.
"Right. Um... You start."
So Fen started singing.
"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it awa... Um, Miki-sama?" she interrupted herself.
"Yes?" Miki asked innocently.
"Um, eh... well, your, um, hands..."
"What?"
"Um...... Nothing. I'll continue. The very next day, you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone spe... Um, Miki-sama... HANDS!!!!"
All that would be heard was a giggly cackle.
~I have spoken (i.e. The End)~
Merry Christmas, JPH!P (<--click click)