Chap 16
Atsuko POV
“I love you”
Once again he said three words which have never said that to me. I don’t know what to say so I’m just staring at the open-mouthed. I must have looked foolish at this time but I don’t care. Takahashi Kai, my childhood friend, the man who impregnate me and destroy my future. Men who also my husband.
He recently stated in love with me. After a year of marriage and twenty years be my friend, he has say it now. Wait a minute, I never even knew that he love me. I mean, what he really love me? How can?
Ah wait a minute..
Suddenly I lost for words. I can’t even make a sound in the slightest.. Something wrong. Kai loves me? He really say that, right? No, today is not the first of April, this is not an April Fool’s joke, right? If any of this really just a joke, that is not funny. I...
FLASHBACK
“what do you mean send me the photo to me?”
The man sitting in front of me was so handsome. Dark brown hair contrasting with his white skin is not well organized as usual. Under his eyes, dark circles sign of lack of sleep. Today he doesn’t look like as usually. Dimly, I can’t smell the alcohol from him. Oshima Yuu, a man who always discipline on himself, today he doesn’t look like as usual. I don’t want to speculate about the reasons behind his appearance today. My goal is to see him today is want to end it all. Of course, in fact it’s all over between us since last year when I decided to marry Kai and gave birth to my son. This time, I just want to make clear to him that I have chosen and I choose not him.
I tried to smile, Yuu sharp eyes makes me hard to breath, how ever he is a man who ever fill my life before, man I ever loved.
“I think it’s clear what I mean” I said slowly, “I’m happy with my family this time, I can’t see you again. I could be friends with you, but I know that’s not what you want, Yuu, so I was forced to say that I can’t see you anymore.”
It’s first time I saw Yuu’s expression like that. Suddenly I felt free. I’m no longer sure whether this is a decision that I took the right decision or not. . I feel uncertain when I suddenly thought of Ryo, my baby who is currently at my mom home, while I went to see Yuu. No, this is not the time to feel free.
“you don’t love Takahashi,” Yuu said with both hands clenched on the table,”you can’t force yourself to live together with people who are not you love! Acchan, I love you, I will receive you, I will accept your son.. I promise I will treat him like a son to me.. Please, give me a chance...”
I shook my head.
Yuu is a young man who educated and intelligent, but it seems he doesn’t understand. Marriage is not as easy as it could be terminated only because one of the parties was not satisfied. He didn’t understand.. At first I didn’t understand, but after almost a year to get married and have a children, I finally realized that marriage is not just about me. I can’t be selfish just because I don’t feel satisfied.
“Yuu, I’m the one who decided to leave you and marry Kai,” I tried to explain, Yuu is a smart man, he should understand, “if now I’m leaving Kai to come back to you, are you not sure that someday I won’t leave again for with others?”
Yuu paused. His eyes were still staring at me, I know there are many who want him to tell me but he chose to remain silent and let me continue my words.
“you’re right, Kai is not a perfect man. He often pisses me off. He also not the man of my dreams,” I smiled, trying to convey what I mean at Yuu, “we also often quarrel. . Anyway, lately it seems that he often met with his student quietly. .” Yuu seemed want to say something but I hurried on my words, “but, I’m also not a perfect woman. I’m also aware, I was often upset him. Maybe I’m too much of this type of dreams,” I chuckled before continuing, “and I also meet secretly behind him.”
“Acchan. .”
I raised a hand to cut his word off, I’m not finished with what I wanted to say, “listen to me, I’m not satisfied. I knew that I could get more if I choose to be with you, but I’m just a human, I’m will never be satisfied. If I’m constantly looking for better satisfy me, then I will not ever be grateful for what I have today.”
Yuu paused. He closed his mouth that was open as if to say something. Slowly he turned his gaze away from me. Frowned and I could see his jaw. He was holding himself, I know it.
“Kai is not perfect, but I’m also not perfect. Maybe that together we will be able to cover each other disadvantages of each. I want to learn to maintain what I have today,” I looked at Yuu with a look apologize even though he doesn’t see the current middle, “I’m sorry for you, because I feel sorry. I have made a mistake and I don’t want to do it again.”
Yuu finally back looked at me, “you’ll be sorry..”
I smiled, “maybe. .” I stared back at him, “but for now I’m happy like this.”
END FLASHBACK
“Atsuko?”
Kai call me again.
Wait a minute! I can’t say anything, wait a minute. .
I looked at him but my mouth and my tongue like locked suddenly dumb. He was waiting for an answer from me but I can’t say anything. Anyway, what I really need to answer that? What he really serious about what he had just said? The words and the same question kept circling in my head like a broken record. Damn you Kai. This is too sudden. He would have been happy to have succeeded in making me look like a fool today.
“Atsuko. .” this time Kai sounded impatient, “do you hear me, right?”
I took a breath and count to three in my mind.
“yes?”
Kai raised his eyebrow, “what’s the ‘yes’? You haven’t answered my question just now.”
I paused for a moment to think of the word he was saying.
“question?”
Suddenly, as I realized everything was enlightened, I smiled enjoyed Kai expression that change was not sure. My husband seems to have fallen in love with me, this is not bad thing at all.
I decided to tease him a little bit, “which one? You don’t ask any question had been right?”
Kai’s face grew pale, “ah. . What?”
I used my index finger to accuse his chest. His face was staring to panic when I put myself to him. Slowly I leaned toward him, still sticking my finger in his chest. Naughty smile still lingering on my face. Seeing the confused expression that immediately turned to panic gave me satisfaction. When I finally got back to say something I accidentally lowered my voice and wrinkled my forehead.
“you don’t ask any question to me, how can I answer?”
“I-I. .” Kai instantly realized his mistake, he looked at me with a look awry.
Ah, why did I just realized it now?
I love him.
Yes, I’ve been afraid to admit it. I have fallen in love with him, either since when. Initially I thought sucks but slowly began its existence meant to me. I never thought of it before, but this time I always depend on him. From the first, when were children, until now, I still rely on him. I need him. Perhaps our marriage is preceded by mistake but this time, if someone gives me a chance to turn back time, I would keep repeating mistake that time.
It took so long for me to realize it, I had fallen in love.
--
There something different from the girl. Her skin was pale and her eyes looked like shrouded in fog, it looks like it has the ability to read what is in my mind just by looking at me. I shudder to imagine what she would say if she finds out what is on my mind today.
The girl look dismal, like the girl who almost never touched by sun. Her face was expressions and her eyes blank.
I find it hard to find right words for her.
She gorgeous. Bleak, but beautiful. Her finger were long and slender, graceful as she holds a cup of tea. Somehow in my eyes it looks like the kind of girl that would make Kai fall in love. Think of like that somehow makes my chest hurts. This girl. . She was young and beautiful. Besides, she also looks elegant and smart, much different from me. Could Kai like her?
“I’m sorry. .”
I was surprised when I heard her voice for the first time.
Her voice was soft and beautiful. I can just hear her swallow. In contrast to my voice loud and high, her voice softer.
“I. . My name is Kojima Haruna, I Takahashi-sensei student,” she said.
She was a smart girl. I think she knows the reasons why I suddenly said that I wanted to meet her. In my heart I feel salute to her because she didn’t refuse to see me. Perhaps it is nothing between her and Kai. Maybe I just worry excessively.
“greeting, Haruna-chan,” I smiled, “I’m Takahashi Atsuko.”
I don’t nee add the words that I was the wife of a teacher, she was a smart girl, I’m sure she could conclude that without me get this straight.
She nodded, “I know. . . I. . .” she looked hard to find the right word to say, “I’m sorry.”
“sorry?”
“because I had casually asked Sensei to see me.”
I took a deep breath. Just by looking at it I know. This girl falls in love with Kai, my husband. For reasons I can’t explain, somehow I don’t feel anxious or scared. Of reaction and expressions, I could see that there was nothing between them. The girl loves Kai but has not expressed her feeling.
“you like Kai?” I said immediately ascertain.
Her face flushed. She was panicked, “I-I. . . No, I. . . I mean, ah, Sensei. .”
I chuckled. Suddenly I felt calm.
“it’s okay. Fair for girl in your age to fall in love,” I said, raising my cup and shipped my tea. When I put the cup back on the table I smiled at him, “I am proud to have a husband who is loved by many people.”
--
“I, I love you, Atsuko,” Kai said again, he looked at me as if trying to make me understand, “I have long loved you.”
I smiled, “oh yeah? Since when?”
“ever since we were little,” he finally admitted, “I always loved you. I’m always annoyed because I could never be a prince that you want. I. . When you say that there is nothing between us to your friends, I was disappointed. I always thought special but you don’t think of me like that. .”
I tried to cover my shock. It was the first time I heard about it from him. I never knew that he had loved for so long. I even had forgotten that such a thing never happened before. . I bite my tongue to keep from saying anything, try to give him a chance to explain whatever he wants to explain.
“I decided to stay away from you but I still think about you, I’m always thinking about you. .” the blond man’s face was turning red as he continued, “I love you. That’s why I never could have done with another woman. . That night when see you were drunk. . When I take you to my apartment. .” his face grew red, but he still went on to explain, “i very upset. I’m jealous of your boyfriend that time. I. . That night, we. .uh. . You never said that what happened that night was not based on love, but I . . Uh. . That’s not true, I mean, I love you, so. .”
I could out my hand and wrapped it around his neck and threw me toward him. I held tightly. This man. . He loves me and I don’t notice it at all. I’m the most stupid woman in this world.
“Atsuko?”
Kai looked confused but slowly he put his arm around my waist and pulled me toward him. He hugged me tightly.
“Baka,” I muttered, burying my face in his shoulder, breathing in the fresh scent of his body, “you just say now?”
He sighed and tightened his arms, “I’m sorry. .”
“I love you.”
I could feel Kai’s body stiffened but he didn’t hear him say anything just tightened his arm.
TBC
sorry for late update minna, and sorry for my bad english
Topic: Bittersweet Marriage (Kai x Acchan) chap 19 (LAST CHAPTER) 3-12-2017 - COMPLETED (Read 28964 times)