This is a teaser for a story that has been haunting me for a while.
No, I won't abandon any of my series, but let me just vent on this one.
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Breakeven
Louise-sama
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I love you.
But I love her.
I will still love you.
But she will still love me.
She is your best friend.
But I betrayed you.
She never loved me.
We are the same.
You can just love me.
Or you can just wait for me.
We can love each other.
But I still love her.
I don't deserve them.
They don't deserve you.
I messed up everything.
You can still come to me.
I can still fight for you.
But you love her now.
We still love each other.
Do we?
In this war for love, deceits and lies are inevitable. Who can withstand the pain will take the blame. Either way, I won't cry, 'hearts don't break even.'
Characters:
Oshima Yuko
Kojima Haruna
Takahashi Minami
Maeda Atsuko
Shinoda Mariko
I'm sorry, you guys. I'm really sorry.
This is the complete teaser for a story that doesn't define fluff; just angst / hurt / comfort / drama.
==============================================
Breakeven
Louise-sama
==============================================
I love you.
But I love her.
I will still love you.
But she will still love me.
She is your best friend.
But I betrayed you.
She never loved me.
We are the same.
You can just love me.
Or you can just wait for me.
We can love each other.
But I still love her.
I don't deserve them.
They don't deserve you.
I messed up everything.
You can still come to me.
I can still fight for you.
But you love her now.
We still love each other.
Do we?
In this war for love, deceits and lies are inevitable. Who can withstand the pain will take the blame. Either way, I won't cry, 'hearts don't break even.'
Five hearts...
Tangled love...
Oshima Yuko
"Everything is fair in love and war. We are in love. We were in love. And now there is only war—for love; for pride; for truth; against lies."
Kojima Haruna
"We were so in love—perhaps too much that we had enough. Seasons change; people change; feelings change. Everything has changed."
Takahashi Minami
"It wasn't intentional—it was forbidden; it was hidden. And now it sparked even; you cannot stop a love exploded."
Maeda Atsuko
"You always sweep your head, expecting. There is someone waiting. But there was always a corner that you kept avoiding—it was mine."
Shinoda Mariko
"I loved you; I still love you; I will always love you. I was always just holding back. It was hidden, even now, and from now on."
...in
Lies...
Betrayal...
Revenge...
In a war for the love of five, four hearts revive but a heart will not survive.
They will be full and she will remain a fool.
But no one can deny, that hearts never...
Breakeven
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Prologue will be out...SOON. I promise.
Now, if someone could do a poster for their picks...
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Thank you for voting!
Pairings to expect (poll winners):
AtsuYuu
KojiYuu
AtsuMina
MariHaru
TakaHaru
Final pairing: I guess you already know.
imteedee: Eh? Something to thank me? What could that be? (http://www.cute-factor.com/images/smilies/onion/014.gif)
AshuraX: You're still into AtsuHaru, aren't you? Lol.
[Warning] Foul words ahead. I don't really cuss, but...
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Breakeven
by Louise-sama
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PROLOGUE
It's midnight.
It's already midnight.
But she's not yet home, again.
She collapsed her back on their soft couch, not bothering to open any single lamp. She released a loud sigh hoping to vent out her stress. Who was she kidding? That's not even possible. Saying that she's stressed is an understatement; exhausted even. Her tumultuous mind is beyond salvation. She shut her eyes tight, struggling for peace in her restless mind.
She already accepted the fact that she didn't love her and she will never love her back.
She will always love this woman; I should have known better from the start.
She chuckled darkly. She felt like she was being drowned in an endless pit; acid seeping through her eyes, burning it 'til it bleeds; large boulders crushing her chest; dull swords slowly thrusted to her very core; nails crunching her tight throat. It hurts that much. But she has to bear it—she would bear it without complain, just to be with her. Because she loved her that much.
"What a stupid martyr you are, Yuko." she told herself.
.....
.....
"You should be home right now," said a gentle voice of a woman lying beside her. She was gently twirling and stroking her long, soft locks as she lay parallel to her on the bed. "I'm sure she's waiting for you."
She never moved and kept her eyes leveled on the white ceiling. "I know that."
The woman stopped stroking and turned her head to inhale a lungful of her soft hair. "You said you know that, yet you're still here."
"I don't want to go home." she replied motionless, as she allowed the other to cuddle closer.
"But why?"
A few seconds passed, she closed her eyes and buried her face onto the woman's neck. "I don't know how to face her anymore."
"But she is your fiancée." the woman said, fingers running up and down her creamy arms.
"...I know."
"Does she know about us?"
She lifter her head and met the woman's soft eyes. "I love you."
Their eyes lingered as if having a conversation of their own. It took a few seconds before she responded. "I love you too, Haruna."
Haruna smiled softly and leaned in for a kiss.
I'm sorry, Yuko. But I love your best friend. I love Minami.
.....
.....
Light, cautious footsteps; metal keys clicking against each other; then, the door was slowly creaking open, allowing turbulent wind gusts to enter the living room briefly, swaying the still chimes. Those were the sounds of a sinful marching. No matter how stealthy they were done, Yuko woke up unfailingly—it seems that her nightmare had finally decided to haunt her again. The door was now fully open and slowly revealed a silhouette of a woman whom she knew so well.
"Welcome home, Haruna."
She flicked the lights open and Haruna immediately stopped her cautious walking and remained frozen like a human statue. There was no sign of surprise between the two parties anymore. Just an awkward long silence and eyes constantly repelling to meet.
"You got home earlier."
Haruna ducked her head. "It's near dawn, actually."
"At least earlier than sunrise—earlier than your usual arrival."
It was supposed to be a sarcastic statement, but it didn't sound like one. It sounded like it had been rehearsed in a constant rerun—it had; they undergo this same scenario every night—but tonight, it didn't seem forced. The longer the silence had passed, the harder it was for their eyes to communicate.
Tired of their mental distance, Yuko stood up from the couch and walked towards her and wore a soft smile. "How was your work?"
Yuko knows where she came from and what she possibly did. She can see it. And Haruna can't hide it—the small hickey on the right part of her neck, nor the sinful smell of her best friend's perfume.
"...I'm sorry," was all Haruna said.
"Sorry for what?"
"...For everything."
Yuko's smile slowly bended downwards. "Come here..." she pulled Haruna and embraced her tightly, just like she always does; and as always, it makes Haruna feel guilty. “There's no need to be sorry, Haruna. I understand. I know that you're busy."
"Yuko..."
I don't deserve you...
"Are you crying?" Yuko asked as she felt her shoulder shake and heard her sob. She rubbed her palms across her back, trying to still her guilty whimpers. As much as she wanted to let Haruna have it, she never wanted to hear her broken sobs—the fact that she rarely cries.
"Why, Yuko? Why? Why are you so good to me...?”
"...Because I love you," she whispered with all sincerity.
"Yuko, I—"
"You know what—you're just tired. Let's just sleep, shall we?"
She can tell her lies but she can always see beyond those lies.
This is the damned fact; that the only woman she loves is still in love with her best friend.
.....
.....
Yuko and Haruna's parents were close friends. They see each other every time the Kojima family visits the Oshima household. While they were kids, they were forced to get along with each other, despite their differences and bad terms with each other. As active as Yuko can be, she was always the one who initiated their conversations and Haruna would keep on saying that she hates loud people, yet she never pushed Yuko away. Yuko would just laugh and say that she finds Haruna cute, and Haruna would call her 'baka' and walk away. But it was only in high school that they became really close.
They went to movies; watched theater performances of idol groups; went shopping together—Oh, Haruna loved shopping. She would always drag Yuko into shopping districts and make her carry her things. Yuko would whine like a baby but Haruna wouldn't careless, trying on every single dress and shoes that she finds nice. You can just imagine how Yuko would make-face behind Haruna's back. After Haruna was finished with her shopping, she would personally pick and buy clothes for Yuko, and the squirrel would shower her with kisses, meeting without any resistance from the tall girl. It was until then, when Yuko fell in love with her.
On their sophomore year, Minami, Yuko's best friend from junior high school, transferred to their school. Yuko introduced her to Haruna and she started to have great interest in her. Slowly, Minami joined their circle of friends, earning Yuko lesser attention from Haruna. She no longer invited her to movie dates or shopping, but invited Minami instead. She rarely went to Yuko's house too unlike before.
Yuko was kept in the background, leaving her with the sight of Minami, cracking jokes, and Haruna, teary-eyed from laughing. She knew back then, that the two had seen each other more than friends. But when Yuko confronted Minami about it, she denied it with a promise. She believed her, and until their high school graduation, she kept a small hope in her heart.
But then, Minami went overseas for college, leaving Haruna broken. Yuko sought this chance to step out from the distant zone and comforted Haruna, assuring her that she'll never leave her and will always be there for her. Their friendship grew stronger until it came to the point that Yuko could not hold back her feelings any longer. On the last night of summer that year, she made a gamble and confessed to Haruna. To her relief, Haruna accepted her love.
Their families were so happy, expressing full support on their relationship. But even if they finally became a couple, Yuko was still unconvinced with Haruna's feelings for her. Two years after, she made a life-long decision, and proposed to Haruna. She was already preparing for the worst, knowing that Haruna was still expecting Minami, but when she opened her eyes, she was met with Haruna's radiant smile. Haruna extended her thumb and softly brushed Yuko's parted lips. "Please take care of me from now on," she said. Yuko slipped the ring on her fingers, almost crying in happiness. Their time had just begun. She made sure to shower her with kindness and care, making sure to satisfy her partner with all the love she needs. Their relationship's walls had been built with love; unstained; unyielding; unbreaking. Until the day...
Two years after, Minami had returned.
.....
.....
"What's your problem?"
"...Nothing."
"Liar~" Mariko sang as she flipped a page of her book. "Just look at your hurtful face, will ya?"
Yuko half-turned her face from the tall window of her office. "How did you know? You're not even looking at me."
"I can tell just by your silence that something's wrong."
Yuko was caught in surprise and returned her gaze at the window. "...You're scary."
"We've been friends for fifteen long years. Of course, you should be scared," said Mariko as she stole a glance at her friend in front of the window who was looking sadly outside, fingers barely touching the glass. She sighed and closed her book. "Okay, spill it. What's wrong this time?"
"...I think Haruna is having an affair."
Mariko stared at her, pulling out a lollipop in the process and flicked her tongue over it. "Mm...Let me guess—with your rabbit?"
"Curse you, Mariko! I'm trying to be serious here."
"I am serious. What are you getting so worked up? You're getting jealous over your own rabbi—"
"She's having an affair with Minami!" Yuko yelled loud enough to silence Mariko and drop her lollipop on the carpeted floor. "Satisfied? Not with my rabbit." she continued calmly. "...Not with my rabbit."
"Oh," Mariko dumbly replied. She was surprised how Yuko easily snapped at her foolish response. But she didn't miss how unusually dull Yuko's features were. No one would want to see that. Not even a prankster like her. She pulled out another lollipop and stuck it on one side of her mouth.
"That's what I warned you about being sexually inactive."
"One more, Mariko. Just one more or you won't see the sunrise again!"
"Ok, ok. Geez," Mariko chuckled and surrendered her hands in the air. "Why do you have to be so hot tempered?"
Yuko sighed and slumped herself on the nearby chair. She ran her fingers through her hair, almost pulling out roots in frustration. "I don't even know what to do anymore..." she groaned.
Mariko opened her book once more and mindlessly scanned through the pages. "You know what to do, Yuko. You're just afraid. Just follow them to make sure."
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"If I saw them, I'm afraid I might kill them."
"Yuko!" yelled Mariko as she hurled a throw pillow towards Yuko which she perfectly avoided.
"I'm just kidding. Of course I won't do it!"
"You better not, 'cause I'll be the one to kill you if that happens."
Both of them paused, trying to process what had been resonating against the large office's walls. As soon as she finally realized, Yuko swept her eyes to one corner, glaring at Mariko.
"I mean...I don't want you imprisoned for murder," defended Mariko as she nervously laughed.
Yuko shrugged and stared blankly on the floor for a few seconds.
"You know how much I love her."
Mariko paused silent and nodded. "...I know, Yuko. Everybody knows."
"Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if she knows that."
"...Sometimes, knowing is not enough."
Yuko glanced at her. "Funny. You seem to know everything but you don't even have a girlfriend," she laughed weakly on her own. Noticing that Mariko was not looking all pleased with her words, her laughter died. "Sorry. I didn't mean that in a bad way."
Mariko rolled her eyes. "Let's not talk about it, shall we?"
Yuko nodded and stared at her feet. Then suddenly, her thought bubble popped and her eyes grew wide. "By the way, our fourth anniversary is coming up. What should I do? You've got to help me!"
Mariko remained silent for a few seconds as she flipped pages from the book. "Why does it have to be me? It's not like I'm going to benefit from it."
"Oh, c'mon! I need your brilliant ideas. And besides, you're my butler!"
"Then it's clear that helping you isn't my job anymore," she groaned.
"You just told me that we're friends! What kind of friend are you, really?" yelled Yuko as she constantly threw pens at Mariko.
"Hey! That's dangerous." Mariko raised her book in defense. "FINE! You spoiled brat," she snapped and threw her book to the other end of the couch.
"Awesome! How should we start?"
"We'd come to that. But first..." Mariko stood up and circled around the table between them, approaching Yuko, and clutched both sides of her chair. She leaned down so their ears are parallel to each other. "...We have to do something about your sexual inactivity," she whispered.
Yuko nervously chuckled. "You're not being serious, are you? H-hey! What are you doing?! Mariko!!!!"
.....
.....
Today is the day. I'm going to claim everything that should be mine.
"Hey Yuko—!" waved Sae while carrying a bag of chips. "Want some?"
"Sorry Sae, I'm in a hurry!" shouted Yuko as she ran past Sae and Sayaka.
"What's up with her? She never passed me by when I'm carrying chips."
Sayaka shrugged. "Who knows?"
.....
.....
Yuko reached the ground floor and ran outside the company's building, bumping with her employees and some jars. Still trying to catch her breath, she spotted a flashy Jaguar F-Type on the street. "Sweet. Wait for me Haruna," she smiled and ran for the car. Mariko opened the passenger's door for her and welcomed her with a bottle of water.
"Thanks," Yuko puffed.
"I had prepared the yacht for you. You can go there for dinner."
"Great. Will her favorite dish be served?"
"Affirmative."
"I hope nothing could go wrong."
"Flowers?" Mariko asked.
"Got it."
"Movie pass?"
"Ready."
"Perfume?"
"Check."
"...and your breath?"
Yuko raised a brow in confusion. "What?"
"Please check it. I'm not so confident about it."
"Mariko!"
Mariko chuckled and hit the acceleration pedal. "Let's rock!"
.....
.....
They reached the building of Haruna's workplace and Mariko drifted, stopping right where the entrance was in one quick motion. "Wish me luck!" Yuko picked up the flowers and Mariko kicked her out of the car.
"Go get your girl, squirrel!"
Go get my girl...
.....
.....
"South wing, third floor, second room."
"Ah, here it is."
Smiling while carrying a bouquet of roses, Yuko slowly approached the room Mariko had told her.
"I didn't know you were coming today."
She heard Haruna from the other side. Yuko was surprised, thinking that Haruna had been expecting her to come. Satisfied enough, she slowly reached for the door knob until...
"I had a feeling that you needed to see me today."
Another voice from inside the room echoed, immediately sucking all of Yuko's spirits. That familiar voice. There was no doubt about it. Slowly, she lost her grip on the bouquet, causing it to drop heavily against the tiled floor, petals scattered violently.
"Minami..." she mouthed, breathless.
She pulled her hand back and pushed herself against the door. Her own breath was hitching as she sank her ears deeper and deeper, as if trying to fit her ears with the door if that was possible. Later, she heard soft moans emanating from the room, making her suck a quick breath in shock. There was no mistake—that on the other side of the door, was the only woman whom she gave her love, tangled with the woman she gave her full trust.
"Minami...I love you..."
"...Only me, Haruna?"
"Yes, only you..."
She pushed her forehead deeper until her knees failed to support her. Turning her body around, she slid her back against the hard door, surrendering all her weight, until she collapsed helplessly on the floor. Her breathing was shallow and uneven, and heart, erratic in frustration.
"Dammit..." she gritted her teeth, hot tears streamed down her cheeks. Shit! She wanted to scream but no voice came out of her.
"Curse you both..."
After a seemingly eternal agony for Yuko, the sinful sound finally subsided. "I'll make you pay for this..." Gathering all strength from her boiled up anger, she stood up and violently kicked the bouquet of roses on the floor. "Happy fourth anniversary to me..." she sang bitterly to herself and strode away.
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Louise-sama | Breakeven | Prologue | つづく
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(http://www.cute-factor.com/images/smilies/onion/875328cc.gif)
Thank you for reading!
We haven't seen y'er Princess Atsuko yet. I wonder what her role is. Lol.
Inspired by fanfics I read. Definitely flexible, but I hope it won't wander.
Comments, questions, constructive criticisms—everything's welcome and highly appreciated.
Now, I can relax a bit. (http://www.cute-factor.com/images/smilies/onion/f529a952.gif)