This is a special request by skylarkdragonstar from tumblr, who is a HUGE Shinyuu Trio fan. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten Danso Cafe. That's my baby. I'll update it again, probably in two weeks time (gomen!). I'll be overseas, you see. Actually, I got a flight to catch later today lol
Warning: Shout outs. Shout outs everywhere. And profanity (you know how I write haha). This fic should not be taken seriously
Episode 1: The Bantam MenaceA long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away--well, it's just in modern-day Japan really, though I suppose there is a considerable distance if one is from some remote prefecture or a whole other country even. You could be from Coruscant for all I know, which makes me wonder how on Earth did you gain access to something as obsolete--compared to
your technology of course--as the Internet. But I digress.
Where were we again? Oh right, Japan.
Dusk had settled in the urban jungles of Tokyo, the setting sun casting a soft, orange glow upon the metropolitan skyline. But such tranquil scenery was ignored by the city's busy denizens and especially by the multitude of miserable girls making their exodus from the NHK Broadcasting Center in Shibuya. There was an audition for Japan's next top idol earlier that day, and not a single lady had been accepted. Talk about high standards. If the producers wanted a perfect idol, they might as well have another computer generated--but we all know how the last one turned out, so nevermind that.
Amongst the horde of rejects was a tall girl, a little different from the rest with her broad shoulders and foreign features, who went the opposite direction from the others, deciding that the underground parking lot entrance was a safer way to vacate, lest she dared braving the stampede she knew was probably happening at the main doors.
Though quite saddened at being turned down, she was by no means suicidal.
"Another failed audition." The girl murmured with an exasperated sigh, fingers furiously combing through her long raven hair in frustration. "This one will be my..." Quickly she did a mental count of the number of times she had applied in an idol audition, "...forty-ninth?" Her eyes widened in shock. Was the path to idolhood one that was not meant for her? Perhaps it was time she called it quits then. Go back home to Chiba, to the shabby little house with Ma and Pa and Otouto, try and get a job that paid well enough--Kami-sama knows she desperately needed one.
Then again, just one more audition after this wouldn't hurt now, would it?
"Uwa! That's a lot of auditions!" A raspy voice commented, breaking her chain of depressing thoughts. Looking behind her, she saw two familiar-looking girls, one as tall as her with a boyish haircut and an amiable smile, the other a good head shorter than them with a cheeky grin and dimples on her cheeks. It was safe for her to assume that they, like her, deemed the parking lot entryway a less hazardous route.
"You're Akimoto, right? Always ichiban?" The smaller one asked in a cheerful tone.
"Akimoto Sayaka," she nodded slowly, "And you are...?"
"Oshima Yuko, at your service!" The grin on the girl's face widened, her tiny fangs baring themselves. She reminded Sayaka of a chipmunk or a squirrel. Oshima pointed to the taller one next to her. "And this here's Miyazawa Sae-chan!"
Miyazawa raised a friendly hand. "Yo!"
No wonder she found them familiar, Sayaka realized. She had seen them before in several of her previous auditions--Oshima Yuko was the one who kept messing up her numbers, and Miyazawa Sae was "...Paraado."
Miyazawa facepalmed, while Oshima doubled over in laughter, earning her a light smack from the former.
Sayaka let out an awkward chuckle, "Gomen, gomen! I didn't mean to say it out loud."
"Meh, don't sweat it." The squirrel wiped the stray tears from her eyes, still wheezing violently. "I was teasing her about it earlier."
"You two are friends?"
Yuko scratched the back of her head. "I guess so. Comrades in failure. Heh." The sprightly little girl looked pensive for a moment, then her face brightened up again. "Hey! You can be one of us!" She peered up at Sayaka in earnest. "You said this was your forty-ninth, right?"
Sayaka backpedaled a bit, unused to such straightforward cordiality. The other girls would have steered clear, intimidated by her. "Y-yeah."
"Well, we haven't had THAT many times yet, but we're getting close, aren't we Sae-chan?"
"Yep!" Sae nodded eagerly, clapping Sayaka on the shoulder. "Thirty-eight times!"
It wasn't as horrible a track record as hers, Sayaka thought bitterly. Despite that, a small smile creeped its way onto her face. She still appreciated the friendly gesture, even if it was unintentionally painful.
"Hinata has auditioned over a hundred times!" Another voice from behind declared without warning. The trio turned around and saw a figure extremely familiar to them all--a girl decked in painfully pink lolita clothing.
"Kami-sama," Sayaka spoke in a low murmur, "I think I've seen her in every audition I've been in."
Maybe failing forty-nine times wasn't so bad after all.
"Ah, it's you! The Tenshi girl! A most fortunate meeting." crowed Yuko, visibly delighted. "Perhaps you would like to join us?"
The ama-loli tilted her head in slight confusion. "Join you in what?"
"In the epic quest to become idols, of course! We, ordinary girls who have failed time and again, shall forever be comrades on a journey not to the west, but to the stars!" The squirrel raised a fist in the air, a mad sparkling grin on her face. "For we are women sustained by willpower! FOR OUR WILL IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!"
This woman, Sayaka concluded, was batshit insane. And totally messing up Kamina's famous sayings.
"Ano," Sayaka began, scooting next to Sae as they both watched Yuko and Hinata the Lolita rejoice and do the latter's Ten-Ten-Tenshi dance. "Is Oshima-san always like that?"
"Oshima-san?" Sae chuckled. "How quaint. There's no need for such formality, you know." She scratched her cheek in thought. "You see, we, in an act of vengeance against those producers, snuck into their room and took all the drinks in their cooler. Guess who drank all the Wonda. Oh! Speaking of drinks," Sae began rummaging through her noticeably bulky messenger bag, its contents making soft clinking noises. Out of curiousity, Sayaka took a peek inside and, to her amazement, the tomboy was indeed telling the truth. Sae brought out a can of Milo. "You like this right?"
"T-thanks." Sayaka gingerly took the beverage from Sae's grasp, surprised not at the offer, but at what was offered. "How'd you know this is my favorite?"
It was that moment that a faint shade of pink decided to taint Sae's cheeks, making Sayaka's brows furrow in suspicion. But before she could question her further, the ama-loli's phone rang.
"Moshi moshi, Hinata desu...For real?! O-okay!" An expression of remorse came over the lolita as she faced the squirrel. "Sorry. Looks like Hinata won't be a comrade anymore!"
The energy that Yuko had earlier dissipated in an instant.
"Eh?"
"The producer called and asked me to meet him tonight!" gushed Hinata, her face practically sparkling. Yuko, on the other hand, was understandably flabbergasted.
"WHAT."
There was a smug smirk playing on Sae's lips as she and Sayaka watched the lolita gloat, much to Yuko's despair.
"I'm gonna tell her."
Sayaka was mortified.
"Miyaza--Sae-san!"
"Whaaat? We both know where this is goin--aaaand she's gone." The ama-loli had pranced away as abruptly as she had appeared.
"Unsavvy electric lolita Gachapin!" Yuko snarled. "I bet she gets what's comin' to her!" Seriously. A hundred auditions and the kid still had no idea? Either she was naive, a fool, or both. After all, there was no honor to be found in the path of the casting couch. Shaking her head, she went to Sae and their new friend Sayaka, the both of them crouched over something on the ground, bickering.
"Sae-san, it's ugly as hell. Looks cheap too."
"No, it. Is. NOT. It's limited edition and it's cute, see?" Sae retorted, bringing the object to face level. It was a small, spiky-haired humanoid stuffed toy with yellow clothing and a heart on its chest, with a small chain for attaching to phones. It looked like a superhero.
"A very ugly superhero."
"Not you too, Yuko!"
At that instant, a sedan pulled over right in front of the three, blinding them with its headlights.
"Son of a bitch!" Yuko hissed angrily, shielding her eyes. "Who the fuck uses high beam in a place like this?!"
Three men in dark suits got out of the car and stood forebodingly in front of them. The one in the middle, a cold, relatively older man wearing shades put the girls on edge. There were two kinds of people who wore sunglasses indoors: blind people and assholes, and this man was definitely not the first kind.
Sayaka gulped audibly.
"I have a bad feeling about this."
"You," He focused his stern glare at Sae and pointed a finger at the stuffed toy, "Hand over the thing."
Sayaka and Yuko gaped at the man in incredulity. He wanted the
what?
"Oi Oji-san," Sae began, "I know this
thing is rare, but takin' it from a girl just ain't ri--" The man pulled out a pistol and aimed it at her. "Ohhh shit."
The next several seconds felt like forever as Sae froze in place, stunned at being held at gunpoint, until Yuko spoke up.
"H-hey," She began with a stammer, "T-that's not a real gun, right? I mean, Japan has some reaaaally strict gun laws and--"
BANG!
She stared up wide-eyed at the newly-made hole on the ventilation duct.
"OHHH SHIT."
Well that escalated quickly, Sayaka thought dryly, a little amazed that part of her still managed to retain some snark while their lives were pretty much on the line here. But what to do now? Disarm the guy then disable the other two? She knew she was definitely able to-- she wasn't a black belter for nothing--but her new acquaintances posed a liability. If she tried going for the gunman, there was a good chance Sae or Yuko could get shot. And she would never forgive herself if that happened.
"Stupid trigger finger." She muttered to herself. Flight was the best option then. But if they were to escape, they needed a distraction, and fast. Mind racing a mile a minute, Sayaka glanced briefly at the half-empty can of Milo still in her hand and let out a sad, quiet sigh.
Well, here goes nothing."Look!" She shouted and pointed a finger behind the men. "It's Maria Ozawa!"
The goons immediately whipped their heads around, and the gunman slightly lowered his weapon.
"What? Whe--OW!" The force of a wet metal fastball hit him hard on the head, making him stagger and see spots everywhere.
By the time he recovered, the girls were gone, he had a massive bruise growing on his forehead, and he and his suit smelled like Milo.
His Armani suit
reeked of fucking Milo.
He sent the innocent aluminum can on the ground his darkest glare.
Those girls were so dead.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" He snapped at his subordinates. "Go find them!"
~~~
"Sayaka-chan, I am disappoint."
"Heh. You sound like some strict old father."
"But I really thought you saw her!"
"Yuko you perv." Sae snickered and turned to their savior. "Hey, Sayaka-chan, you can put us down now."
"You two are too careless with your honorifics." Sayaka grunted. They had only known her for less than an hour, for crying out loud! Still, she gladly obliged, bending down just enough for Sae and Yuko to get off her shoulders. Sprinting up ten flights of stairs while having two people in a fireman's carry proved quite the workout.
Yuko looked around the hallway with caution. There were no suited thugs in sight, only television crew members and tarento milling about. "D'you think we lost 'em?"
"I doubt it." Sayaka wiped the sweat off her forehead and exhaled tiredly. Judging from how much the old man wanted the damn toy and how hard she threw her Milo at him, it was safe to say that he and his lackeys were probably scouring the whole building for them. Speaking of which, there they were now at the end of the corridor, though it did not look like they had spotted them yet. Still, better to be safe than sorry. She tugged on Sae and Yuko's sleeves.
"We better find a room."
"Already, Sayaka-chan? But we barely know each other." Sayaka rolled her eyes at Yuko's obnoxiously teasing expression. Sae, however, was not amused, as the tomboy had now also caught sight of the ruffians coming their way. Together, she and Sayaka pulled Yuko along and started running.
"C'mon Yuko, let's go!"
"But we haven't even reached first base yet!"
"Idiot!"
Fortunately for our intrepid heroes, they noticed an unlit storage room not long after and went inside. They left the door open with the tiniest sliver so they could watch the clueless men walk briskly past them.
"I don't get it though," whispered Sae. She took her new toy out of her bag and started stroking its wild mane. "Why do they want you so bad, Tomodachi?"
Yuko gawked at Sayaka in disbelief.
"She gave it a name?!"
"I'm more disturbed by the fact that she's talking to it." Sayaka murmured, a frown beginning to form on her chiseled face. It did make her wonder though: just what did those mobsters want with, er, Tomodachi? There wasn't anything particularly remarkable about its appearance, even if Sae insisted it was a rare item. Was it so rare that one would resort to threatening someone at the point of a gun? Otakus were so weird sometimes.
She sighed.
All this trouble was damn toy's fault.
Seeing that Sayaka was lost in her thoughts and Sae was still talking to, er, Tomodachi, Yuko decided to check out the dark room they found themselves just to pass the time while they waited for the heat to die down. To her disappointment, there was nothing of interest here, only a mountain of tables and chairs haphazardly stacked on top of each other, and soft illicit sounds that were coming from behind said mountain...
...Wait.
Sounds?
"Hey, hey listen!" She whispered excitedly to her two tall companions. "You hear that?"
"Hm? Hear what?"
Yuko's lips twisted into a mischievous grin.
"Moaning."
~~~
"Uhn, not so rough, Mari-chan."
"Gomen, Nyaro."
"U-Uh..."
"It's okay. It'll be over soon."
"...Ah!"
"Haruna."
"Un...yes?"
"Can you please stop making those sounds? It's seriously weirding me out."
"S-sorry. I can't help it when you touch them like that."
"Well, it can't be helped. You're the one who wore a strapless that broke a hook, and I'm the one who has to fix it. Now hold still."
"Alri--ah!"
"WHOA! NICE BODY!"
"...!"
"...Idiot."
"Who's there?!"
"Shit! RUN!"
"Hey! Come back here!"
"Nyaro."
"W-What?"
"You're seriously not going out there shirtless, are you?"
~~~
Sayaka slammed the door, locked it, placed a nearby stack of chairs in front, then promptly slumped to the floor in exhaustion. Sae and Yuko followed suit.
"That," Sae breathed out hard and clutched, er, Tomodachi close to her chest. "THAT was a close shave. Good thing we still managed to get away again from those goons."
"A close shave that wouldn't have happened, I might add," Sayaka barked (or at least tried to--she was so dog-tired that her words were coming out in ragged pants) and gave Yuko the stink eye, "If it we didn't have to leave that storage room, you peeping tom."
Yuko made an insincere bow and grinned guiltlessly. "Man, I really thought But that girl with long, brown hair...she was
beautiful, wasn't she?...And her boobies..."
"Hey, the short-haired one was really pretty too," Sae chimed in.
"Well yeah, but she's too skinny for my taste. A bit sado too, the way she adjusted the pretty girl's...bra...ohhhh." Yuko's eyes began to glaze over.
Sayaka glanced at Sae questioningly.
"Does she really swing that way?"
"Yuko swings in any direction she feels like." The tomboy let out a weary giggle.
"And you?"
Sae's laughter became awkward. "Y-Yeah. I swing that way."
"Oh. Okay."
Their new friend's nonchalant acceptance surprised Sae.
"Y-you're not grossed out or anything?"
Sayaka's lips turned downwards. "Should I be?"
A bitter smile found its way to Sae's youthful face. "Most girls would have turned tail by now."
Sayaka broke into a bitter laugh. "I guess I'm not like most girls then." Her expression turned solemn. "I can't stand prejudice, you know. I mean, why would people hate someone based on what they can't help? It's...ugh."
Sae, unable to reply, simply looked at her in awe.
They remained in a comfortable silence afterwards, resting their burned out bodies and catching their breaths, until Yuko, who had been quietly listening to their conversation, decided it was time to speak up.
"This is very touching and all, but we still got some gangsters looking to bust our asses. How the hell are we going to deal with them?"
Sae ruffled her scruffy hair in contemplation. "Should we call the police?"
"Are you fucking kidding me? What are we going do tell them? 'Ooh Officer-san, the yakuza are trying to kill me over a rare plushie?'" Yuko tried to laugh but ended up choking on her spit instead. "D-Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? Those donut-dippers are gonna laugh their asses off."
The tomboy scowled. "Do you have a better plan?"
Sayaka began stroking her chin, "We should at least try and get out of here." She glanced at the shortest girl, looking for an answer. "Oshi--Yuko-san?"
"Hm."
Scanning the room, It only now that Yuko realized they had landed in a changing room this time, filled with racks upon racks of outfits that ranged from traditional Japanese clothing to costumes as outlandish as man's imagination would allow. Seeing all these attires gave the squirrel a spark of inspiration.
"I've got a good idea."
~~~
Apparently, her idea consisted of masquerading as men ("No Sayaka-chan, please don't dress up as Michael Jackson.") and waltzing out the front door, hoping for the best.
"I think we'll be fine as long as they don't hear us talk." Yuko had assured them in a buoyant tone as they packed their own clothes. It was a bit of a blessing that their bags weren't feminine; a flowery purse would have blown their cover right away.
Sayaka had given their ensemble on the mirror a cursory glance. Decked in dark leather jeans and jackets, aviator sunglasses on their faces and black knit caps covering their hair, she had to admit--they looked like badass biker dudes, but something bothered her.
"Isn't this stealing?"
Sae clapped her on the back.
"Better a thief than a corpse."
Well that was a nicer way of going about it, she supposed. So far, they hadn't run into the mooks yet, to their good fortune. Things were going quite smoothly, or so they thought; it was when they stood in front of a floor plan posted on the wall--with absolutely no clue how to read it-- that our hapless heroes realized that with all the running around they had done that evening, they were now hopelessly lost.
"I'm askin' them for directions." Yuko trotted over to a small group of ladies in an array of costumes, talking amongst themselves and sending the three furtive glances and giggles.
Sayaka raised a brow in amusement while watching the women fawn and coo over the squirrel. "Yuko-san's enjoying herself, it seems."
"I bet they think she's a young boy." Sae snickered when she caught one of the girls staring at her and gave her a dazzling grin, making the lass blush scarlet. "I like this disguise. It's working brilliantly."
Yuko returned to the two with a toothy smile. "Alrighty, let's get moving. The oneechans showed me the way."
Sae stifled her laughter as they began walking down the corridors again. "Oneechans?"
"I had fun bein' a cute little brother, okay?!" Yuko whined then suddenly froze in her tracks. "Shit."
Sayaka frowned. "Why are we stopping--Oh. Oh dear."
Just several meters away was Mr. Gunman and his two henchmen, scaring a skinny, bedraggled assistant director shitless as they questioned him.
"Have you seen three girls pass by?" Gunman-san growled ominously, grasping the lad's left shoulder in a deadly grip. "Two of them tall, the third one short?"
"N-No sir!" the trembling AD replied with a pitiful whimper. "Please! Don't hurt me!"
Gunman-san clucked his tongue in disappointment and let the AD run away like a snivelling child. "Tch. Pathetic." He glowered at his associates. "Let's keep searching. I
know they're still here somewhere."
"And you are very much right." said Sae in a hushed, frightened whisper, turning her head at Yuko and Sayaka, both of them close to panicking as well. "Shit, he's gonna come for us next." She had no intention of dying or giving, er, Tomodachi away. Nooo.
"Un, s'cuse me." A young man muttered, easing his way through the trio and into to the gargantuan double doors that happened to be standing just beside them.
What a conveniently placed door, they thought simultaneously, and without further delay they burst to the studio, ignoring the bond paper taped next to the doorframe that said "Men's Audition".
"Oh good, more auditionees," a...rather flamboyantly dressed man spoke through his megaphone, his obnoxiously loud voice amplified to excruciating extremes. Everyone in the room had to cover their ears. "All of you stand over in front of the green screen please!"
"Wha--" Sae, Sayaka, and Yuko found themselves pushed along for the ride by a dozen or so men behind them heading for the screen. They ended smack-dab in the middle of the group, right in front of the camera and the eyes of the television crew.
"As soon as the music starts, follow the choreographer's moves..."
"W-wait, this is a mistake!"
The trio's protests went unheard, soundly defeated by the producer's deafening speech. Worse still, while the idiot was still talking on and on, Gunman-san's friends decided to show up, skulking at the sides of the studio, searching for them like snakes hunting rodents. Good thing the producer was loud, eh? Otherwise our story would've ended quickly.
"Shit, music's starting!" Yuko cursed as a generic pop song began playing and a dance instructor started, well, dancing. They had no choice but to follow the moves, lest the mobsters became suspicious.
Sayaka watched with mild envy as Sae and Yuko mirrored the choreographer. Hell, they were even better than the guy. She, on the other hand, was falling behind, and it was making her panic.
"What are you doing?" Sae hissed at her agitatedly. "Dance, Sayaka-chan, dance!"
"I AM dancing!" Sayaka huffed back in irritation. She wasn't used to this, dammit!
Yuko glanced at her urgently. "Give it your all!"
"Alright, alright!" She'd dance her ass off then, just so they won't get caught and killed. "It's all that stupid toy's fault anyway."
"Tomodachi is not stupid!"
~~~
Two tall women, one with a slender frame and short brown hair, the other voluptuous with long, flowing brown locks, casually walked into the studio, momentarily stunning nearby staff with their combined model-like aura.
"Well, if it isn't Shinoda Mariko-sama herself!" The ambiguously (not really) gay producer announced gaily. "Come to see the new recruits?"
The spindly woman called Mariko shook her head. "Just stopping by."
"Good," He cackled cheerfully, rubbing his hands together, "Because I have my eyes set already."
"Oh?" Mariko had an inkling who he was referring to as she watched the dancing men on one of the monitors provided. The three in the middle moved with more energy than the rest. They seemed almost...desperate.
Her companion tapped her back. "Mari-chan."
"What is it, Haruna?"
Haruna pointed to a pair of sinister men in suits prowling around behind them, scaring several of the staff with their presence.
Mariko made a small noise of amusement. "Hm. Hey Prod!"
"What is it, Mariko-sama?"
She pointed at the suited men. "You got some unwanted company here."
The producer became red with anger. "YOU THERE!" Veins popped up the his forehead as he shrieked into the megaphone, making everyone stop and cringe, even the music. "HOW DARE YOU DISTURB THE AUDITIONS! GUARDS!"
Oh, the irony.
Mariko took note of the producer's favored trio slinking away to the door, seemingly taking advantage of the ruckus that followed on set as security finally came in and tried to apprehend the suited strangers.
"I call dibs!" Mariko called out to the still shouting producer and followed after the runaways. "Come on, Nyaro."
Haruna's pink plump lips turned downwards to an adorable pout. "Are you sure about this, Mari-chan?"
Mariko gave her a reassuring grin.
"I'm sure."
~~~
She and Haruna found their quarry just outside one of the empty studios, standing stock still in front of a man similarly dressed like the ones before, the latter asking them a question in a gruff tone. Their body language simply screamed fear.
"...three females, two tall ones, possibly college-level, and a small one, a middle school student most likely."
Mariko watched in amusement as the shortest twitched in annoyance before motioning Nyaro to hasten their steps.
"I think I've seen the girls you're talking about, sir." She called out to the man in a nonchalant manner, "They're down at the lobby."
He merely raised an eyebrow before nodding curtly and taking off. Mariko chuckled then, after making sure the man was gone, turned her gaze to the wary trio before her.
"You can take off the caps and glasses, you know."
They promptly took off the accessories on their heads and faces, heaving a collective sigh of relief.
The squirrel girl was all smiles. "We owe you big time, Sado."
Mariko and Haruna looked at each other and blinked. "...Sado?"
"Don't mind her," the one with a boyish cut hastily replied as she harshly elbowed the small one, "But thank you very much, ma'am."
The tallest of them gave a slight bow in gratitude.
"How can we repay you?"
A beatific smile appeared on Mariko's face.
"You don't owe me anything, but I do have a proposition for you."
They perked up at her words, their interest piqued. Beside her, Haruna groaned, muttering, "Here we go."
Mariko's smile only grew wider.
"How would you like to be idols?"
On a different day, she would have taken a picture of their dropping jaws.
~~~
The Shinoda residence was a penthouse set on a rooftop terrace in one of Shibuya's swankier apartment buildings. It boasted an outdoor jacuzzi and a pristine view of the Tokyo skyline, with floor-to-ceiling tinted glass windows and sliding doors that enclosed a large, open-plan living area with industrial but surprisingly warm finishings.
In Yuko's words, it was "pretty fucking classy".
Shinoda Mariko, or Mariko-sama as Kojima-san said she was oft called, had Sae, Sayaka, and Yuko seated on the large, comfy white couch and placed three contracts and pens on the coffee table ("She has the floppy disk one!" Sae squealed in delight) in front of them. The two towers were about to sign theirs but noticed Yuko with arms crossed, engaged in a heating staring match with their amused savior.
"Oi, Yuko." Sae nudged her arm. "Something the matter?"
Yuko ignored her question and continued looking on, eyes squinting. Then after several minutes, she spoke.
"Alright, lady, what's the catch?"
Mariko-sama smiled innocently. "What catch?"
"I can smell the troll in you, woman." Yuko's lips began to curl. "There's a catch, I just know it. So what is it? "
"You caught me." Mariko-sama playfully raised her arm in defeat. "So, you really wanna know?"
"Indulge us." The trio answered in unison.
There was a spark in Mariko's eyes.
"You're debuting as men."
The whole place became silent save for the soft clink of china at the kitchen, where Haruna, at Mariko's request, was making tea for everyone.
Then the three burst into a violent fit of laughter, tears running down their faces.
"That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life!" Yuko gasped for breath. "My fucking sides! Us! Men!" She and Sae entered another round of full blown laughter. Sayaka, however, saw Mariko's still smiling countenance and instantly sobered up.
"Y-you're serious."
The woman nodded, and Yuko and Sae immediately stopped laughing.
"FUCKING SHIT!" Yuko exploded in a fit of rage, a trembling finger pointed in accusation at Mariko-sama. "WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS?! YOU REALLY ARE SADO AREN'T YOU, YOU CRAZY PSYCHO--"
"Those men chasing you, they were yakuza, weren't they?"
Yuko stopped mid-rant, while Sae and Sayaka stared at Mariko, stunned.
"Wait, they actually were?!"
"Mmhmm. Showbiz is well-acquainted with their kind, if you get my drift. It makes me wonder. What did you three do that made them go after you?"
Sayaka and Yuko wordlessly pointed at Sae.
"Whaaat?" The tomboy whined. "Why me?"
"It's your stupid toy's fault!"
"Tomodachi is not stupid!"
Mariko became curious. "Tomodachi?"
"Some plushie Sae found at the parking lot," The squirrel grumbled,"Once she picked it up, those gangsters came and starting pointin' a gun at us. Hell, bastard even fired a warning shot! Luckily Sayaka got us away before we could actually get hurt."
"I see." Mariko tapped a finger to her chin in thought. "Can I have a look at, er, Tomodachi?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure." Sae took, er, Tomodachi out of her pocket, and handed it over. Mariko whistled, visibly impressed as she took the toy in her hands.
"This is rare."
Sae grinned, happy that someone finally understood her.
"I know right?"
Sayaka facepalmed.
"Look," Mariko began to explain," I don't know why the yakuza would want, er, Tomodachi, but I know that it's going to be dangerous for you to be out there right now. So I'm asking you again, do you want to be idols?"
"YES!" The trio roared in agreement.
"Then you have to do it as men."
They instantly deflated.
"Dawww."
It made an awful lot of sense though, our heroes slowly realized. If they refused Mariko-sama's offer, they risked being seen in public by the yakuza actively hunting for them, and they wouldn't become idols. If they accepted, Mariko-sama could provide them safety AND the chance to become idols too!
Male idols, that is.
Sayaka sighed. "Better than nothing, I suppose." She glanced at her two companions. "You two up for it?"
Sae and Yuko slumped in defeat. "Yeah sure, why not."
"Great!" Mariko clapped her hands once they started signing the contracts, signifying the conclusion of their little negotiation--if you could call it that. "I'll have your family notified of your situation."
"Wha--you'll tell them the whole thing?!"
Mariko shrugged indifferently. "Why not? It's much more believable than saying I sent you to Las Vegas to study art or something, right?"
"Huh."
"Anyway," Their new boss walked behind them and ruffled their hair affectionately, "You'll be living here with us since it's safer, so feel free to use the amenities." She paused for moment, thinking of what to say next, "I hereby name you 'Jodanjuku', and welcome you aboard Panda-Pro. Oh, and I think Nyaro's tea is ready."
The newly christened group stared dubiously at Mariko-sama's back as she went over to the kitchen.
Yuko snorted.
"Has she been preparing that name in advance?"
~EPISODE 1 no OWARI~I'll see you in 2 weeks then?
Topic: Shindol: Shinyuu Idol! Episode 1: The Bantam Menace (Read 2462 times)