Well what can I say? More cheesecake for everyone!
How about another helping of this story as well? This chapter felt a little unique to me as I wrote it, as if I was telling a pungent story second-hand through some sort of fog... Or maybe it was just because I wrote most of it as I was lying dead tired on my couch last night.
Either way, I love you all for reading, and I hope you all love what I've written for you. I can't say any more without too obviously revealing anything, so I'll leave you to your own thoughts now.
I keep saying I write more dialogue than I used to, and now I swear this is the longest two-person dialogue I've done again... And I still don't know if I'm any good at it.
so shite...Chapter 17Miyabi woke to the mid-morning light shining dimly through the curtains covering her window. She lay beneath the covers for a time in her grogginess of having slept too long until finally feeling up to getting out of bed. When she turned to slide out of the sheets though, she froze at the sight of another girl still sleeping soundly beside her.
Memories of the night before quickly came rushing back into her brain, and the blush rising in her face fell through various shades of scarlet at each thought. When they had all returned though, she found she had a smile on her face. She was also reaching up to her hair behind her ear and stroking it needlessly. It was a habit of hers, one she usually never even realized she was doing.
Even though she was smiling at the small and still form beside her, she was still very nervous. The previous night’s events seemed hazy and surreal in the fresh mindset of a new day, and rational thought, which had fled her through most of the night, now was making an insistent return.
The older girl lying before her was now her girlfriend; that much at least seemed quite clear after the night before. Her Captain was her girlfriend… That thought, although quite pleasant from the sensations she’d experienced with the girl, now had a practical side that brought her up short. It was very significant in her life, but of course there was no way she could bring this up to anyone at school. Although many of them admire Saki Shimizu, the idea of Miyabi Natsuyaki dating her might be a bit too much. Although, she thought with a grin, she supposed the image it’d promote of the school wouldn’t be one they’d shy away from. Then again, Joshi Gakushuin had quite enough going on already that two young celebrities dating each other surely wouldn’t cause too much of a stir.
Her Berryz were another matter altogether, though. Momoko and Maasa were already apparently way too observant, so there would be no way they’d miss the connection she’d surely share with Saki now. They might even be scandalized; how could Captain remain partial any longer when she obviously had a special interest in one of the group? It wouldn’t be the all for one and one for all Berryz team any more. She and Saki would be naturally set apart from the others.
As horrible thought after horrible thought continued through her mind, her eyes and mouth widened. Saki might even have to step down from being Captain! She tried to imagine Momoko as their Captain, but her ears started to ring incessantly for some reason. She was shaking her head to try to stop the horrible noise when she heard a small voice from in front of her.
"Good morning!" Saki said, sounding as if she wanted to be cheery, but still ended up being weak from just being unconscious.
Miyabi looked at her with wide eyes. “I’m sorry…” she whispered.
The other girl gave her a look as if she was crazy. “Sorry for what?” she said, still sleepily. “You haven’t done anything…” A grin widened on her face and she suddenly looked much less tired. “…
this morning. I would never have known you could be so naughty. You seem like you’re off in your own innocent little world sometimes… Not unlike Risako.” After saying that, she adopted a thoughtful look. “Then again…”
Miyabi gasped.
Risako! The girl would kill her! No, she wouldn’t do that. She wasn’t evil like Miyabi herself. She’d ignore her; that was it. She’d never talk to her again. Well, that was funny. It wasn’t too long ago she was complaining to the girl that she wanted too much attention, but now that she knew she would have none it troubled her.
How could she have done this… Yes, Risako hurt her deeply, but it was only a couple of days. Everybody had fights. But then they made up. Well, that would never happen with Risako now. She’d seen to that last night. Even though she would die of embarrassment if anyone found out exactly what happened, it would be impossible for them to hide that
something had happened.
Realizing she’d been staring off into space lost in her own thoughts, she focused back on the present and the girl still lying beside her, who was giving her an unreadable blank expression. Noticing Miyabi’s attention back on reality, Saki sat up and crossed her legs which were still under the sheets, still looking into Miyabi’s eyes. Miyabi couldn’t help herself feeling lighter as she looked back. The girl had such beautiful eyes…
“I wondered if this would come up,” she said knowingly.
“What?” Miyabi asked cluelessly.
Saki just stared at her for a few seconds. Last night Miyabi would have blushed at that look, but she didn’t now for some reason. “Risako,” she said simply.
Miyabi became wary at the mention of the girl’s name. “What about her?” she said carefully.
“It’s the reason I tried to keep my distance last weekend, you know. Even though I had begun to feel something between us after that night…” Miyabi stayed silent. She didn’t really know what the girl meant, but supposed she could guess.
“Of course everybody knew about you two. We’d even talked about it the night before at the party.” Miyabi nodded at the girl’s glance. She wouldn’t forget that night easily. “Aside from having to be the Captain and inherently separate from all of you, I didn’t want to do anything to harm you and her. When I saw you crying in the courtyard I began to wonder, but I still thought it was a quarrel you’d eventually get over… I hated myself for awhile after that night because of what I’d let myself do with you when I wasn’t in my right senses. But then this week I found out what was really going on.”
Miyabi tried not to look interested in what the girl was about to say, although she unmistakably was. She was also very interested to know what was really going on with Risako.
Not that it matters anymore… She began to feel guilty again.
“Risako called me Tuesday night. That’s why I didn’t call you then even though I’d told Momo I would. She said she wanted to tell me something, but seemed scared to. I did my best to comfort her, and so eventually she did open up and tell me about her boyfriend.”
Miyabi had been nodding throughout the girl’s story, but when the last word came out her body froze as if paralyzed. “E – excuse me?
Boy…?” She couldn’t finish repeating the word.
Saki’s expression suddenly changed to concern. “You didn’t know?”
Miyabi did her best to shake her head. Nothing else, including her mouth, seemed to work.
“Oh,” Saki said. “I thought you would. You seemed…” The girl quickly seemed to become frightened and couldn’t hide a slightly desperate look in her eye. “With last night… I thought that’s why you wanted to move on…”
Miyabi stared at the girl. She’d never seen Saki so unconfident and shaken. She looked as if everything was crashing down around her… or worse. The horrible sight pulled at something deep within her, and she tried to compose herself.
Stop it, Miyabi. You’re being stupid! You can’t tell yourself you’re surprised! It was true.
Managing to pull herself together, while the other girl kept looking worse and worse and seemed about to bolt from the room, she reached over and pulled the smaller girl into a very tight hug. She felt her toned muscles tense in surprise.
“You’re right,” Miyabi said, trying to be soothing while still overcome with emotion herself. “Even if it wasn’t for that reason, I did want to move on.” She loosened her grip slightly and let the girl pull back enough so they could look at each other. Saki was looking carefully into her eyes. “I
do want to move on. I’m sorry I reacted that way. Like you said, Risako and I had always been close…” Now that the initial shock had sunk in, she realized she wasn’t jealous at all. She was just upset. Upset that as close as they were, Risako hadn’t told her about it. Saki had probably been the first one. She could imagine it wasn’t something she wanted everyone to know. It made sense though, she tried to convince herself. Saki was, well, their Captain.
Seeming to realize she wasn’t about to be rejected, a fear Miyabi couldn’t have imagined the girl to have to this extent, Saki spoke up again. “That’s one of the things Risako wanted to talk about.” She reached up and ran her finger along a strand of Miyabi’s hair just above her ear. Miyabi resisted the urge to reach up and make sure it was still in place once the girl was done. “I’d known your side of the story from the weekend, but she told me hers. Of course I didn’t mention that I’d already been talking with you…”
Miyabi slid back down beneath the covers and stared up at the ceiling as the girl continued from above her. “She was worried about how to tell you, and how you’d react. I tried to explain that it was just something you needed to know, and it was better for
her to tell you than…”
“…to hear it from someone else.” Miyabi finished. She moved her eyes down from the ceiling to look at Saki, who nodded slowly.
“She said she’d call you later that night…” The end of Saki’s statement had the hint of a question to it, but she also seemed to already know the answer.
Miyabi shook her head. “She never called.”
“Ah…” Saki said, looking down at her fingers, which were playing with the edge of the sheet. “The next day, when I talked to you, you sounded so happy to hear from me. I thought you two had talked and put everything behind you, and… well…” The uncertainty seemed to creep back into her voice again. “I hoped to snatch you up.”
Miyabi broke into a grin that the other girl didn’t see. She sat up quickly, and Saki looked up into her face, but became puzzled at the grin she saw. “And you did.” Miyabi took her Captain’s wrists. “Do you think last night would have happened if I had any doubts?” Saki’s gaze seemed to relax slightly, but she still seemed full of doubt. “Do you think that little of me?” she continued in a sincere whisper.
Saki’s eyes widened at that, and her face completely changed. She looked like she was about to firmly deny her suggestion until Miyabi laid a finger against her lips. Miyabi smiled at catching her off-guard again.
“As far as I was concerned, after that night it was clear that nothing would happen again between Risako and me, or at least that it wouldn’t until a lot of time passed and things changed again. It might have taken me a while to fully realize it, but especially after talking to her the day after… Yes, I missed her. But something else was missing too – that vital essence that people need between each other to be more than friends. Neither of us seemed to have it any longer. I think I lost it when I spent that night with you...” Saki blushed slightly at that, of all things. “…And now I understand why Risako no longer had it either. You know, it’s really funny!” As if to prove her point she giggled freely, an action that finally elicited a smile from her Captain, if still a slightly unsure one. “I’ve been telling myself the whole time she must have found friends elsewhere… probably someone else special too… I guess that’ll teach me I need to listen to myself better, ne? My intuition seems so stellar, after all!”
Saki held her smile, and Miyabi broke into one too when she noticed it was now becoming fully genuine. “Your intuition, huh?” she asked. “Is that what you’re calling it?” Miyabi thought she even saw a smirk twist the corner of the girl’s mouth.
“Why Captain, what on earth could you be talking about?” she said with the most sarcastically innocent face she could muster. The other girl just grinned at her. “I guess I failed at hiding everything, huh?” Miyabi said after awhile, now picking at her own edge of a sheet.
“Do you really think you could hide
anything from me after last night?” Saki asked lightly.
Miyabi looked into her face, and the girl was smiling back encouragingly. “No, I suppose not. I just didn’t want you thinking I was weird or something…”
Saki brought out into a loud giggle at that. “Miya-chan! You
know I
already think you’re weird! You seem almost as much of an alien as Kamei sometimes… “ The two girls both fell into fits of laughter at that. When they calmed down, Saki continued as she raised her eyebrows at Miyabi. “And if you think I’m the only one who’s realized your secret, I think you may be in for a surprise.”
“Damn you Berryz,” Miyabi responsed in mock anger. “Why couldn’t you be as oblivious as everyone else around me…”
“Because we’re Berryz,” Saki said simply.
Miyabi looked up at her, her smile fading, but the other girl’s was still clear as crystal. This was now how things should be; Captain giving her that unwavering smile, and her just trying to figure everything out. It wasn’t meant to work the other way.
“Thank you,” Saki said after a time.
“For what?” Miyabi asked.
“For all you’ve done for me,” she responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then she turned and leaned in, and before Miyabi could react was snuggling herself into her arms, which reflexively closed around her waist.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Miyabi mumbled, and she heard soft laughter from her chest before the girl raised her head level with her own to catch her eyes.
“That’s my Miya.” With that, she pressed her lips to Miyabi’s, who now familiar with the pleasure and comfort of the touch responded willingly.
After an indeterminable amount of time, Miyabi found herself once again holding Saki in her arms as they snuggled peacefully and in the utmost relaxation.
“So I guess here we are, ne?” Miyabi said softly, as if being any louder would shatter the blissful silence irrevocably. “Together…”
She felt Saki nod on her shoulder, but hesitate before responding. “I still don’t feel as I should… as strong as you,” she finally said softly as well.
Miyabi pulled back slightly to look into the girl’s face. “As strong as me? What are you talking about? I have no idea what I’m doing. This is… well… I guess this is my first real relationship… I just hope I don’t totally screw it up.”
Saki gave her a tender smile in return. “That may be… But that doesn’t mean you can’t be strong. For me it’s just been… Well, it was just last weekend…”
Miyabi stared off into space again. She was right. Miyabi had almost forgotten it in all that had happened since. Saki
had gone through a horrible rejection, something that Miyabi could only imagine… It had to have been much worse than her own… Suddenly she felt very young and inexperienced next to the girl she held. “I can’t imagine what…” she began.
“All you have to do is not stop,” Saki said in what sounded a very pleased voice. Miyabi came back to reality and noticed she had been absently stroking the girl’s hair as her head rested on her shoulder. Her eyes were closed as she enjoyed it. Miyabi’s fingers had stopped when she came back into focus, but Saki nudged her head into them urging them to continue.
At the click of a doorknob though Miyabi suddenly pulled back, and terrified, looked in its direction.
“Good morning you two sleepy-heads!” came her mother’s voice, quickly followed by her figure in the doorway. She was smiling indulgently but very kindly at the two of them. Saki, who’d pulled away as well, scratched the back of her neck and put a hand in front of her mouth as if stifling a yawn, but Miyabi could see a fixed smile behind it. Miyabi wished she could be so relaxed. Her heart had just calmed down after being
kissed, and now her
mother almost…
“Mommm!” she whined, and picked up a pillow to throw at the woman. “Give me a little privacy why don’t you. This is
my room after all! I could have been naked! Saki-chan too!” As if realizing what she’d just said she tried to keep a mortified look from coming to her face, since of course her words would have meant nothing more to her mother than the point she was trying to make. Saki now held her hand tightly over her mouth, obviously attempting her very best to avoid breaking out in hysterical laughter. Miyabi felt the urge to poke the girl.
Hard.Blessedly, her mother didn’t seem to notice a thing. “Yeah, yeah. And then you’d be scarred for life, wouldn’t you? I suppose I shouldn’t remind you of when you were a little girl…”
“MOM!” Miyabi cried, no longer able to keep her face from turning various shades of scarlet.
“Alright! Well, I just wanted to tell you girls that even though it’s so late, if you’d like me to warm up some breakfast for you just let me know. Or else you can just wait for lunch, which won’t be long now.” She began turning to head back out the door. “Don’t stay in bed all day! You still have some studying to do, and Shimizu-san needs to go home soon!”
As she closed the door behind her, Miyabi stared at the wood. “Sometimes I wish she’d just kill me…”
“Well Miya, look at the bright side,” Saki said in a plainly highly amused voice, though at least she refrained from breaking out in the laughter she’d been holding in. Then she wrapped her arms around Miyabi’s waist as she hugged her from behind. “We
weren’t naked in here.”
Miyabi raised her eyes to the ceiling once again.
“Kami-sama, take me now…”…
Having skipped breakfast, since they against her mother’s wishes ended up staying in bed a
little while longer, once they finished lunch Saki reported sadly that it was time for her to go. Her and Miyabi’s mother exchanged pleasantries for letting her stay over and for being such a wonderful guest, and Saki packed her small bag and said her final goodbye at the door.
Miyabi’s father actually had come home late in the morning, and he gruffly thanked Saki for coming over as well. To Miyabi’s utmost chagrin, his comments about Miyabi having too few friends over lately were too much like her mother’s the day before. Saki, however, didn’t seem to mind.
The two girls bowed their way through the entry and out the door, Saki to head to the train station and Miyabi to escort her there. They were silent for a while, though Miyabi didn’t mind. She just wanted to enjoy the girl’s company for a little while longer.
“So what do you have planned for the rest of the day?” Saki asked finally. “I know you’re not actually going to be studying. For school, at least,” she finished with a grin.
Miyabi kicked a stone she passed. She’d put her seifuku back on for the trip outside, and Saki wore something similar, though a more casual version. She was amazed the girl actually
bought clothes like that. “Well, you know,” she mumbled. “I’ll probably be… stopping at the bookstore on the way back…”
Saki giggled. “You dork.”
Finally getting her chance at unsuspecting prey, Miyabi poked at the short girl’s side. “
You’re the one who likes me,” she scolded, sounding as if she was still grumbling.
“Mhm!” Saki responded confidently, smiling.
They walked on a little farther before one of them spoke again. “I guess I won’t see you this week, will I?” Miyabi asked.
Saki’s face darkened slightly. “No… School is busy… and you don’t really have the time either with your commute, do you?”
“No, not really,” Miyabi admitted grudgingly. It would be a long week.
“But I’ll call you,” Saki said. “And we can text all the time!”
“
You can,” Miyabi said. “It’s not allowed at my school.”
Saki gave a mock gasp. “
Miyabi Natsuyaki! Don’t tell me you actually follow all your school rules!”
“I have to,” she pouted. “You have no idea the eagle eyes the teachers have. And if you’re caught sending one they confiscate your phone and use it to call your parents. Trust me, it’s not a pleasant experience…”
Saki giggled again. “I wouldn’t have imagined you could be such a
normal student!”
Miyabi gave her a level look. “You
do know where I go to school, right?”
“Mmmhmm!” Saki responded cheerfully.
“Speaking of that…” Miyabi began. “Especially now we’re, well, dating, I’ve been wondering. Where do
you go to school?”
Saki jogged a few steps ahead and turned around, still jogging backwards in front of her and smiling. “Why Miya-chan, you don’t know?” Miyabi stared at her. “Well then, I think that’s something you should find out, don’t you? Let’s see… If you get it right I’ll… let you kiss me!”
Miyabi still stared at her, though now with a slight blush. There wasn’t anyone likely close enough to overhear, but hearing her girlfriend say that in public still made her a little nervous. “Oh? You won’t let me otherwise?”
“I didn’t say
that…” she said with a grin, and before Miyabi could give her irritated response turned on a dime and ran out ahead. Miyabi started running to in an attempt to catch up, but unfortunately with this girl that was a race she was not going to win.
Eventually though, the girl slowed up enough for her to jog back to her side, panting heavily. Saki didn’t seem to be breathing hard at all. “It looks like I need to get you into shape! You’d better watch out next weekend…”
“Tell me…”
*huff* “…why…”
*wheeze* “…I put up with all of this…”
“You’re the one who likes me,” Saki said with a grin, and she reached out and clutched Miyabi’s hand. They twined their fingers together as they slowed down and walked in silence again. Before long the station came into view down the street. When they reached it, Saki checked the signs for which train she needed and the two girls headed toward the turnstile.
“Well,” Saki said, now not seeming quite as cheery, though slightly antsy for some reason. “I’ll see you next weekend.”
Miyabi nodded.
“Bye!” she said, and rising quickly to her tiptoes she planted a quick kiss on Miyabi’s lips and released her hand, slipping through the turnstile and jogging off onto the platform out of sight.
Miyabi stood there for a few minutes staring after her, two fingers touching her lips lightly where Saki had just kissed her. She didn’t think she would have cared at this point anyway, but people passed by with their heads down as quickly as always having apparently not noticed anything, much less two schoolgirls kissing goodbye.
Slowly she turned around and walked back down the street, her feet feeling lighter than the air she passed through. Two straight weekends now of world-shattering surprises, well for her at least, and now she was going home after seeing off her first real lover, girl
or boy. The frantic thoughts of this morning seemed a far cry, and she just couldn’t seem to get those light feet back on the ground.
On the way, she passed by the bookstore and picked up her copy of
Mors Mortis Mortalitasque. She’d been awaiting it so long, and although she was sure she’d open it up to dive into it the minute she relaxed on her bed back in her room, it was hard to become distracted from thoughts of the girl she’d just kissed goodbye.
It had been a couple years now since she’d met a girl even stranger than herself who transferred half a year later to a school in another city, after which she’d never seen her again. The girl introduced her to ways of finding nature’s hidden secrets, and since she left Miyabi sought out many books and people, generally online, from whom she learned much more. She’d never admit it, but she knew she’d discovered much more than that girl knew, and even most of those she spoke with online. She was still very careful of course, and hadn’t actually performed much of anything she couldn’t do from the shelter of her small shrine. However, she was sure she knew the theory of much more. That theory and her innate curiosity led her to question something which had been very mysterious to her ever since she had watched her grandmother experience it while still in primary school. She’d studied deeply on the subject, but upon finding out the existence of this book she realized it was what she needed. Still, overwhelmed with life as she had been just this last week through the girl she’d become closer to than anyone, it was hard to imagine it suddenly floating away into death like a grain of sand in the wind that was blowing gently through her hair as she stroked it while walking the oh so familiar way home…
Topic: Berry Beautiful [Volume 2] (Read 112990 times)