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Author Topic: Estrea's Sandbox [6/4 - Treat]  (Read 203844 times)

Offline lil_hamz

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [12/21 - Snow Rain]
« Reply #140 on: December 23, 2007, 01:09:17 PM »
I have too much stuff swirling around in my brain right now. It's mostly your good English XD

Well, well. Ai and Maki. Who would ever guess? I read about her supposedly rushing back from Korea upon hearing the news. But it was never confirmed was it?

And AiReina. These 2 never seemed to hit it off that well. To me anyway. But your writing was convincing. They kinda "connected" in it. Anything you write I relish so even if it's not centred around my top 2 couplings, I still love em. Keep writing girl :P

Offline Estrea

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [12/21 - Snow Rain]
« Reply #141 on: February 26, 2008, 02:15:06 PM »
Wow, I certainly have been gone a good long time from this place. Heh.

Been busy in a new place, but yeah, figured that I should poke my head in here to show that I didn't suddenly drop off the face of the earth. :P

Did anyone miss me? XD

And yes, I come with fic. XD

==================================

One Half of my Heart

"Gaki-san!" A familiar voice called out to her from behind.

Ignoring the instinctive urge to stop and turn to acknowledge the call, said Niigaki Risa set her shoulders stubbornly and stomped briskly over to the elevator. If she could get into it fast enough, she wouldn't have to deal with her. At least, not on a personal level, for the next few hours.

"Gaki-san! Wait!" A tinge of exasperation entering that voice now, bordering on irritation. Risa walked more quickly, now only a few meters away from the relative sanctuary of the elevator. Behind her the footsteps following her quickened, not quite running but definitely moving at a rapid pace, and almost gaining on her.

Biting her lip, Risa wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to that person right now, even though a part of her wanted to stop and ask the multitude of questions that had been burning within her since the previous day. To just find out the why, what and how of the situation, give her the chance to explain herself, clear things up...

The problem was just whether Risa wanted to listen at all. She was sick and tired of chasing that loose thread of yarn dangled her way, always just out of reach and leading her on to chase, trip, and fall flat on her face, in that order. And then getting up to chase it some more. Rinse and repeat.

Frankly speaking, it was getting extremely exhausting. There were limits to her patience too, no matter how much she lo-liked her Ai-chan.

Screeching to an abrupt halt at the lobby, Risa jabbed impatiently at the call button, and was rewarded with a 'ding' as those accursed doors opened too darn slowly for her liking today. Scooting in the moment the gap was wide enough, she half-whirled around to access the elevator panel, attacking it with an almost frenzied desperation to get the doors to close again.

Unfortunately for her, by nature of design, the doors had to open fully, wait a moment, before responding to any attempts to get them to close again. Thus it was with a mixture of frustration and dread as she got a very good view of one very ticked off Takahashi Ai striding over like the wrath of god was upon her.

Normally, the sight of Ai-chan being pissed off, especially at her, was something that made Risa feel uncomfortable and even just a little frightened. This time, however, a kind of righteous indignation welled up in the normally even-tempered 5th generation member, her jaw working soundlessly as her molars ground together, and her fist clenched tightly in on itself.

Yet, despite her indignation, she found herself unable to look in the face of that anger for long, her eyes averting instinctively downwards, allowing her fringe to fall forward to shade most of her face from scrutiny, the only evidence of her own displeasure being that aura of high tension evident through her rigid muscles, and the unconscious frown that she had been wearing the whole day ever since she woke up...or well, since the night before, since she sure as hell didn't get a good night's sleep at all.

As the doors of the elevator thankfully began its painfully slow move to cut off that laser-like glare coming from her tiny best friend, Risa leaned her head against the wall of the elevator, letting her body sag slightly to rest against the same wall, eyes half closing as her lips whispered a silent prayer or evocation, she wasn't sure. Mostly, she was just hoping that Ai didn't catch up with her immediately, but yet...

She wasn't sure if she minded being caught.

Just...I don't want to deal with an argument...not right now... Withdrawing her hand from the elevator panel, she pressed the heel to the center of her forehead, rubbing in a vaguely circular headache to forestall the impending headache she could just sense waiting to pounce on her. The mostly mute protests of her brain simply made an annoying buzz within her mind, discomfiting vibrations that threatened to crack her skull apart. No, she was definitely not up for confrontations of any kind right now.

Just as she was thinking that she would be safe from the predations of her erstwhile best friend (for now, her mind corrected wryly), a blur rocketed through the narrowing gap between the closing doors, plowing straight into her from the sheer momentum of the movement. Reflexively, Risa caught the person who had so unceremoniously slammed into her, even as her own shoulder was slammed into the wall from the motion, making her wince as she stumbled back into far corner of the elevator, the weight of the slight figure in her arms having caught her off balance to begin with.

"Ow..." Both girls moaned in unison, as if on some unseen cue. Risa blinked at the person she was holding. Oh, crap.

Despite herself though, the first thing that escaped her lips completely instinctive.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

It was just...right, somehow. To ask that, even though, Risa reminded herself, she was upset with Ai for a very good reason. No matter how angry she was or still is, she still cared deeply for the older woman, and perhaps it was the depth of which she cared that caused the hurt to go still deeper this time.

That's right, I'm supposed to be angry. Angry. Not nice. ANGRY. She reminded herself quite sternly, and ignoring her own instincts this time, gently but firmly removed Ai's hands from her shoulders and pushed away from the older girl, shifting sideways along the back wall of the confined space of the elevator to put some distance between them. Her eyes remained firmly averted from Ai's face, knowing that her resolve might crumble if she looked too long into those eyes.

Yet, even without looking, she could sense the raw tear and gash of rejection hovering between them at the artificial creation of distance. She didn't need to look at Ai to feel the betrayal emanating from the other woman, as if the very act of moving away was some great sin in itself.

Shrinking in slightly on herself, Risa turned her shoulder away from the other occupant of the little metal cage they were within, using her back as a shield against that penetrating gaze that was even now boring holes into the area between her shoulder blades.

The atmosphere, to put it lightly, was suffocating. Never had a ride from the first to the fifth floor ever felt so long. It was as if her perception of time had somehow ground to a near halt, leaving her hyperaware of every motion and sound in the vicinity. She even fancied that she could hear not only her own breathing, but the sound of Ai's as well.

So...even...controlled... Risa remembered how Ai always fell back on breathing exercises to regulate her own emotions and to keep her composure. The fact that she remembered this didn't really sit well with her. If Ai had to do that, did that not mean that she was struggling to keep her emotions in check? Risa had a sudden sense of foreboding, and her eyes flicked nervously up to glance at the indicator. 3rd floor...god...too slow...

If she couldn't wait to get into the elevator earlier, she certainly couldn't wait to get off it now. Outwardly, she maintained her stony silence, not wanting to betray her own unease by speaking or making any other movements. The ominous silence of the equally mute Ai behind her chilled her, since she was sure that Ai did have something to say to her, and each passing moment only served to heighten the sick feeling boiling in the recesses of her throat.

"Where were you yesterday?" The question came all too calmly, too evenly, too ordinary, in the way it was delivered. Yet, it was also completely flat in tone, displeasure clearly tainting the words, but restrained in anger, as if Ai was giving Risa a chance to explain herself before turning on the flames. The words cut through the thick layer of tension blanketing the pair, allowing Risa to breathe again, even as her chest tightened painfully, her own anger remembered more vividly now.

Seeing that Risa didn't answer immediately, Ai went on.

"I waited for you, but you never showed up. And I couldn't get to you on your phone. What happened, Gaki-san?"

The barest hint of exasperation, tinged with resignation and laced with rebuke and an acute sense of disappointment. That was how Ai always got to her, Risa reflected in a strangely detached way, as if her consciousness was splitting three ways: her anger, her instinctive urge to apologize, and the "her" beyond those two. That voice, so effective an instrument on stage, could be just as deadly in conveying displeasure in everyday speech. The younger girl didn't even have to turn around to see it, the voice alone did well enough to indicate what Ai meant.

Yet, those seemingly reasonable words only served to feed that icy rage gathering within the younger, the accusatory recrimination implicit in Ai's question evoking an automatic defensive reaction from Risa, who believed herself to be the injured party in this case. Her response, when it did come, was uncharacteristically snippy, bordering on a raw, raspy vituperation she rarely, if ever, displayed.

"I could ask the same of you, Ai-chan." Coldly, bitterly, injured and lashing out. It was not pleased, did not have reason to be pleased, and did not expect to please. Even then, Risa could not find any satisfaction at the mild wave of shock she felt coming from Ai, experiencing neither pleasure nor vindication at the success of her counter. Her mind could not stop replaying what she saw before, of where Ai had been after missing their date entirely, near the end of the day...

The rush of bodies moving in a barely synchronized mass, shifting and snaking in an undefined manner across platforms and in and out of the station, heading for their respective destinations. Blending into this sea of humanity was not too difficult, especially when one was of average height, well, less than average height.

The random babble of her companion was a pleasant distraction, and she listened a bit half-heartedly, slightly cheered that the turtle girl was taking the trouble to keep her company and attempt to entertain her, but her mind, and more importantly, her heart, was elsewhere.

Currently wondering why her best friend stood her up on their...date? Was it a date? Perhaps. It certainly was important to her. She cherished their time together, now that it was even rarer as their schedules mysteriously (or not) filled up with all sorts of activities. She missed simply hanging out with her best friend, rambling about completely divergent topics and just keeping in contact, physical or otherwise. It was reassuring, somehow.

She had tried calling her earlier, while still waiting at the meeting place, but all she got was a busy line. She would have tried again, but her cellphone battery spontanenously decided to die on her then, leaving her effectively cut off. Had Kame not come along not long after and offered to keep her company, Risa was not sure if she would really have just stood there the entire day to wait for Ai-chan to show up.

She might have, because she was just that pathetic.

Boredly scanning the windows of the next train that had just pulled in (causing that fresh deluge of human population onto the platform earlier), Risa's thoughts were still effectively on her Ai-chan when she saw it. Or rather, them.

Risa had always prided herself on having good eyes, so there was no denying it. Especially since it was Ai-chan. She would still have recognized her even in the dark of the night while wearing shades. The train wasn't all that packed either, so she had a direct line of vision to see it. There was no doubt about it.

Involuntarily, her grip on her bag tightened ever so slightly, her eyebrows knitting together into a scowl under the cover of the peak of her cap, pulled low over her face as some kind of partial disguise while going out. Her jaw snapped shut, teeth clenching together almost painfully as she registered the sight before her.

You didn't come...because you were with Sayu? Her heart thumped hard against her chest, once, twice, heavily and wrenching deep within, as if someone had stuck a knife in and dug around in there for a bit. It was not a pleasant feeling.

An acute sense of something akin to betrayal welled up in her, and it left a bitterly sour taste in her mouth. It probably didn't help that Ai was leaning on Michishige, apparently having dozed off some time prior. Definitely not helping that that damnable ichiban kawaii demon was looking so adoringly at the sleeping girl lying half on her, and Risa found herself almost shaking with rage palpable as one Michishige Sayumi tenderly brushed aside a lock of hair from Ai's sleeping face, placing a soft kiss on the unaware Ai's cheek...

The train started moving again with a jerk, pulling Risa back to her senses as it roared away out of the station, but the image remained burned in like an indelible mark on her visual memory, edged in flaming detail and resounding with an acute pain aching somewhere deep within her soul, of betrayal, abandonment and loss.

"Are you alright, Gaki-san?" The turtle, as always, was just so nice. So...reliably there.

"I'm...just...fine..." A bit strained, perhaps, but she made some effort to smile at her dork of a friend, and was rewarded with a blinding grin and a comforting hand on her arm. Smiling wanly to herself, Risa looked down at her feet, falling as silent prey to her thoughts.

At least...goofy friends like Kame won't ever break your heart...


"I don't know what you mean. You never showed up at the meeting place, and I waited for you!" Ai was on the defensive now, having moved closer, close enough that Risa could feel the familiar heat between them whenever they were this close together. For whatever reason, they still did not face each other, Risa not wanting or daring to turn around for fear that her own reaction would have been too extreme, while Ai wasn't even sure why she didn't approach Gaki-san face on either. The pair were caught in a tangled web far more complex that either of them had ever envisioned, and were too occupied with their own private issues to even notice that they were thus entrapped.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Risa replied shortly, her own defensive barrier having snapped into place and was thus automatically rejecting anything that seemed even to remotely challenge her position that she was right to be upset. Never mind that this was Ai-chan, the person she would willingly do almost anything for. Not even for her...or simply because of her this time, Risa could not, would not, back down.

Not when you've already hurt me this much...no more, this is the last time... So her bitterness was telling her, even though a softer part of her begged for reconciliation, to forgive and forget like she always did, to hear the sometimes nonsensical explanations and give in to whatever she said anyway. Because this was Ai-chan, because that girl, that woman, was special to her and nothing could ever compare.

"Gaki-san, I never saw you. Are you sure you were in the right place?" Ai was not giving up, but then again, she had not counted on the mountain she had to scale in order to even crack her Gaki-san's resolve this time. Risa watched the indicator agonizingly jump to 5, the little 'ding' indicating that they had reached their stop.

"I went exactly where your message said to. If anything went wrong, it was with you, not me." Risa said flatly, her voice trembling ever so slightly with the volcanic anger ready to erupt underneath that seemingly composed facade. Her words came out harsher than she liked as a result, but it was too late to retract them anyhow.

She did not turn around to see Ai recoil visibly from the shock of the backlash, did not want to see, did not want to care, because it was too painful to look at someone who kept leaving her behind instead of being with her, advancing together as a unit.

What happened to us? Now it's just you and me, separate and not whole together.

Never say that I left you behind, Ai-chan. Because you upped and left me first.


The doors slid open far more quickly than it seemed to before, and Risa took that first step out, not quite hastily, more than heavily, and never once looking back. If anyone deserved that, Ai did, just this once. That was what Risa believed, even though it still pained her to take that step. Nevertheless, her own anger burned away all doubt, and was only reinforced by the nearly incriminating silence raging behind her.

Because, this time, Risa had finally had enough.

I can't play this game with you anymore.

========================================

Lalalala~

-melts back into shadows-

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline peti-chan

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [02/26 - One Half of my Heart]
« Reply #142 on: February 26, 2008, 06:52:26 PM »
What happened to us? Now it's just you and me, separate and not whole together.

Never say that I left you behind, Ai-chan. Because you upped and left me first.

It's sooo sad :OMG: Poor Gaki-chan...

But anyway I love your fics :wub: Coz in most of them Ai-chan appears :luvluv1: :luvluv1: and your style of writing is also great  :kneelbow:

Offline JFC

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [02/26 - One Half of my Heart]
« Reply #143 on: February 26, 2008, 08:12:04 PM »
With...Sayu??? :O

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline Grisours

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [02/26 - One Half of my Heart]
« Reply #144 on: February 27, 2008, 02:05:00 AM »
Well, Sayu's not exactly a surprise, she did get friendly with Ai in the concerts  :lol:
But this story... So sad! I was really hoping they would forgive each other in the end, but... The ending was still very good, as all your stories are!  :grin:

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [02/26 - One Half of my Heart]
« Reply #145 on: February 27, 2008, 03:33:59 AM »
WAAAAAAAA!  :gyaaah:

This story was amazing! So angsty but so intriguing....

I, too, am a huge fan of your work. You portray Ai-chan beautifully.:farofflook:


Offline mae-chan

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [02/26 - One Half of my Heart]
« Reply #146 on: February 27, 2008, 03:45:13 AM »
ESTREAESTREAESTREAYOU'REBAAAAACCKKKKK! With more TakaGaki yays(:
Lol Ai-chan can be sooo clueless sometimes, poor Gaki.
Quote
At least...goofy friends like Kame won't ever break your heart...
*sobs*

Offline Sukoshi

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [02/26 - One Half of my Heart]
« Reply #147 on: February 27, 2008, 10:32:31 AM »
Ai chan so clueless :(, Gaki san so angry :cry:, and sayu so adorably evil  :oops: that's a great mix.  The heaviness of the story left me all  :cry:  it was really something!  :wub:

Offline Estrea

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [02/26 - One Half of my Heart]
« Reply #148 on: April 13, 2008, 03:40:10 PM »
*barges in*

News of my demise have been greatly exaggerated!

Sorry, I just felt like saying that. XD

Yay more random one-shot-ness. XD

=======================================

All in the Wrist

"So it's a bit like this..." Ai demonstrated the move smoothly, her body moving subtly and sinuously, but not too obviously because they were, after all, in a narrow corridor backstage and that really didn't give her much room. Talk about last minute tips before the actual performance.

Junjun and Linlin had serious expressions on as they watched their tiny leader closely, trying to get the last minute lesson into their heads, even as they mirrored her actions, or tried to, trying to grasp the essence of the steps. The apparently easiest to master of all the Morning Musume choreography, Sexy Boy...

I never knew it could be so technical... Linlin thought with widened eyes as Ai patiently showed them how to move their hands to that distinctive section during the chorus. Both the Chinese girls had learned the dance before, naturally, during their crash course of mastering the entire choreography (more or less) of the group they were now part of. But it was one thing to learn the choreography, it was quite another thing to perfect it. As one Takahashi Ai was apparently trying to.

"How to put it...it really is like this.." Ai frowned as she concentrated on her reflection in the mirror, her forehead creasing as her hands moved to the familiar "ue ue" part. Mostly to herself, she mumbled. "No, not like this...more like..." She did it again. It looked identical to the first time she did it. There were some tiny variations however, so subtle that if you blink, you'd miss it. The nuances were very...fine.

Junjun and Linlin, if they had any opinions, kept it to themselves and mimicked the moves, slightly bewildered looks on their faces. It looked more or less the same to them, but the focus that their leader obviously put even on something so simple had a direct effect on them as well. It was hard not to feel compelled to polish everything to perfection when Ai was putting so much effort into just that one move in one song.

Linlin couldn't help but keep glancing over to Ai even as her hands moved as instructed by that quiet, unassuming voice. There was something remarkable about that young woman. It was one thing to do the dance well, but to try and fix it down to the very basics with the nuances of each move...Linlin hadn't quite expected that. Of course, with the amount of material that she had had to memorize in the previous months, just getting it right was good enough. Making it the epitome of perfection hadn't been on the cards...until now.

If there was anything the current Morning Musume leader definitely was, she was a perfectionist. Punctual to a fault, serious to the point of being scary when working, but yet she felt so...normal when the spotlights went off. Takahashi Ai was a regular girl, just as she herself was, Linlin mused. It was just difficult to make the mental switch when Ai went from her professional behavior to her relaxed one.

There was no doubt that Leader had high standards for herself, and by extension to the rest of them, but she didn't try to enforce (read: push and shove) it down on the others, though there was no mistaking the subtle undercurrent that belied her expectations, and the rest, consciously or not, took their cue from that. It helped that Ai always took time to guide them when she felt that they needed it, but never in a pushy manner. She merely tried her best to explain and demonstrate, setting herself as the best example she could be so that they could follow. Granted, sometimes they just didn't get her logic, but it ended up more as a case of "monkey see, monkey do" when it ended up with Ai.

Perennially bad at self-expression through speech, but the way she moved...Linlin saw the dedication, the focus, the intensity, and felt inspired by that. There might be a gap in translation when they spoke, whether it be hers or Junjun's still-not-completely-perfect Japanese or simply Ai's unusual way of speaking, but there was no mistaking movement. Any trouble they had understanding each other was erased by the age old method of communication: body language.

"So that's pretty much it." Ai said, her face breaking into that half-serious, half-silly grin that Junjun returned with a smile of her own, and Linlin followed half a beat later. Someone called out to Ai, and the leader nodded quickly to them before jogging off to answer the summons. The two Chinese girls looked at each other, reverting easily to their native language.

"That was...strange." Junjun admitted, her hands moving again as she glanced into the mirror. "Sexy ue ue..." The taller of the two mumbled as her hands moved again.

"Hmm..." Linlin did it as well. She frowned.

"It's not so much in the wrist as it is in the joints between finger and palm, right?" She asked her older companion for confirmation, her hands slowly drawing that tiny circle and pointing up again in that move. Junjun nodded, forehead creased again.

"Um...the instructor used bigger moves...Leader made it more...focused?" They looked at each other.

"I don't know anymore..." Linlin confessed. Junjun resisted the urge to scratch at her head.

"She makes it look so easy though..." The taller muttered. Linlin sighed.

"We'll figure it out someday..."

==================================

Taken straight from the H!P Winter 2008 backstage. I was captivated by how Aichan was so serious over just that one move, so I wrote this. Yup. I am her number one fan after all. XDDDD

*lurks again*

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline slasha

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/13 - All in the Wrist]
« Reply #149 on: April 13, 2008, 08:18:15 PM »
Aichan left Jun and Lin confused  :lol:

Offline AmberSan

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/13 - All in the Wrist]
« Reply #150 on: April 13, 2008, 09:17:56 PM »
LOL.. i remember that moment.
When i saw it , she realy did look very serious while explaining to them the moves, and the pandas looked very confused  :roll:.

but anyways .. nice to see you post in here ...^^

Offline JFC

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/13 - All in the Wrist]
« Reply #151 on: April 14, 2008, 05:20:15 AM »
ESSIE!!!  :inlove:

Quote
Taken straight from the H!P Winter 2008 backstage.
In other words... this?
  :P

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline Grisours

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/13 - All in the Wrist]
« Reply #152 on: April 14, 2008, 05:29:11 AM »
Yeah, the scene was really funny... And it's interesting to see it turned into a fic! It makes the panda's confusion and leader's lessons even more amusing!  :grin:

Offline Estrea

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/13 - All in the Wrist]
« Reply #153 on: April 14, 2008, 10:49:52 AM »
More one-shot-ness. Set in the time when they were preparing for Resonant Blue.

Hehe. >D

=============================

The Difference Between Us

Reina was of the opinion that she was a normal person, bar the idol status. In fact, most of the Musume were in reality, incredibly ordinary people who happened to be in the industry.

Ok, so maybe Eri was a bit weird. But not that much. Turtle-chan was mostly just a bit goofy and prone to zoning out, but putting that aside, she was pretty average.

And so maybe Sayu might also be a little less than normal with her evil streak running a mile wide, but the devil rabbit was more mischievous than genuinely anarchic.

Alright, so Koharu was hyperactive and spazzy, but Reina blamed that on the perpetual self-induced sugar high that the younger adolescent would eventually grow out of. Eventually. Hopefully.

And then there was 8th gen. Aika was an alright person, really. Just too polite and too formal, too frightened about giving offense to her senpais. In time, that should fade, Reina believed that. There were already signs that Mittsi was coming out of her shell. It was only a matter of time.

As for the Chinese girls, Reina could not find any more words to replace the terms "normal" and "ordinary". So what if Junjun had a banana fetish? Reina was mildly addicted to chocolate herself, as were half the girls in the group, so they dismissed it as "perfectly alright". Besides, Junjun wasn't the only one with a weakness for food. Reina had to look no further than former 5th gen'er  Konno. That girl would not stop eating. At least Junjun never took it to those extremes.

And that brought her back to 5th gen, the current leader and subleader of the group. Gaki-san was just way too nice sometimes, but Reina could accept that. Better than way too evil like one former subleader used to be. And then again, both of those aforementioned got along well (for entirely different reasons!) with one Kamei Eri, and that meant that they couldn't be all that bad. Everybody loved Eri though, so maybe that was a moot point. Nevertheless, Gaki-san did well with the kids in the group (by kids she meant Koharu and Aika), and had somehow assumed the role of fussy nanny/mother/caretaker etc etc. Normal person really, just with more responsibility on her shoulders.

Reina wasn't looking forward to having to coddle kids if and when she inherited any of the leading positions. Hanging out with the H!P Kids was one thing, taking responsibility was quite another! Not that Reina was an irresponsible person. She just preferred to be a free spirit and not be the focus of problems.
 
Which brought her to the leader. Now, Reina wasn't entirely sure if Ai-chan even qualified as "normal" even remotely. And she had seen fairly abnormal people over the years while being in Morning Musume. Iida-san had been weird, but she supposed that if the "communicating" former leader could somehow settle enough to get pregnant, marry, and have a baby, obviously she couldn't be an alien. Some of the other senpais had had interesting quirks here and there, but underneath it all was pure normality. They were all normal girls, with ordinary thoughts and desires and fears.

Then along came Ai-chan. Oh, the current leader had very ordinary, girly fears like the rest of them. Haunted houses were the bane of her life, as Reina could personally testify (the former yankii still resented Junjun's near-total immunity to horror houses), and the last time they screeched in unintended harmony at the unexpected appearance of a cockroach in the dressing room (high pitched shrieks + manly scream = harmony?!) proved that, at least on the "fears" side, Ai-chan had very normal phobias. The reactions might have been a tad different, since Reina could not comprehend how the woman could scream like a guy, but still, marginally normal.

It was when one looked closer that one could feel that something was off about Ai. She was too quiet, sometimes, always reading and thinking about things that the rest of them didn't bother about. Of course, that probably just made her different, but then again Reina figured that on some level, she could sort of get what Ai-chan was about. There was no mistaking the burning need to be the best, to do her best, in the other girl. Reina could understand that. Ambition wasn't foreign to her, although perhaps never in the same intensity as she saw in Ai. The current leader was relentless in practice, determined to do everything perfectly. Reina was dedicated, but never as fervently devoted as Ai was.

So, why did Reina feel that Ai-chan was strange? Call it a gut instinct, but Reina just couldn't get a good reading on Ai. Almost 5 years of being in the same group together, and she could never tell what the older girl was thinking. Well, it wasn't like she expended a lot of effort trying to read anyone's mind, but there were just some things one could learn to expect from the others after some time. Sure, Ai was famous for her Takarazuka obsession, her Fukui accent, her (remarkably) manly screams...but then what? What went on inside her head?

Reina didn't let it bother her before, probably because she had better things to do with her time than try to psychoanalyze people. It just wasn't her thing. She'd leave that to the perceptive people. Wonky eye or not, Reina knew her own limitations. She wasn't built right to be all empathetic and stuff. She could try and understand, but she didn't do pity. She just wanted to deal with stuff and move on. No use dragging her heels over any one thing.

But with the sudden frequency of being thrown together to do duets and stuff, not to mention all the shared leads in songs (Reina totally blamed Miki for this, not that she minded having more lines though), Reina found herself having to spend more time with someone she merely knew of, but in reality knew nothing about.

Technically, it shouldn't have bothered her. Their voices went well enough together. That was really the crux of their working relationship. As long as their voices meshed, everything would be fine. Ai wasn't a lousy singing partner, far from it. Reina found that she ended up learning quite a few things in working more closely with the leader, and Ai was hardly reluctant to help her whenever she had any problems figuring out what key to pitch her voice to so that they would harmonize properly. Tsunku had been pleased by their vocal partnership, in any case, so all in all it was a good thing.

But singing together wasn't just limited to studio work. It carried over to live performances in concerts as well, and that was when Reina just knew that it wasn't only just a matter of making their voices sound good together. They had to perform as a unit. That much had been drilled into her since her entry into Morning Musume. The whole group had to work together. As for duets...it was the same formula, just, ironically, more complicated simply because the focus was narrowed down to just them.

Oh, they still sounded good together. It was hard not to, not with the kind of zeal with which Ai practiced (and by extension Reina got dragged in). But Reina felt the distance between her and Ai, like there was some impassable void between them, so much so that it was difficult to grasp how Ai was emoting in the song, and how to just click as a pair. They operated on separate planes, as if they were on different dimensions entirely, although their voices melded together in perfect harmony.

Reina tried her best, really. She wanted to feel the chemistry, but somehow the spark wasn't quite there. It was as if towering walls blocked the two of them off. Ai was as untouchable as if she were on the far side of the moon. At least their voices worked together, but Reina had a suspicion that Ai-chan accommodated more to Reina's pitch than Reina did to Ai's range, but then again, with Leader's versatility, perhaps it had been wiser that Ai matched her voice to Reina's instead of the reverse.

And yet, and yet...Reina wondered why they never had a problem when they were performing with the rest as Morning Musume. She had no problem clicking with Ai-chan there. But then again, none of the others had that problem relating to Ai in that situation too. It was hard to put a finger on it, but perhaps since the attention was diffused among all the members, it was simply easier to work with?

In a rare flash of insight, Reina made a mental leap back to how Ai stood apart from her as they practiced. A duet, by its very nature, involved a very intimate connection between the singers, if one were to characterize the chemistry as such. Reina knew that she had never been close to Ai in any way previously, other than on a friendly fellow-member basis, and the wonky girl wondered if Ai had merely been unwilling to open up to her, which led to the breakdown in mutual communication when they sang together.

In that same vein, Reina surmised, Gaki-san would have had less of a problem doing a duet with Ai-chan. The two were closer than Ai was to any of the others, although frankly, of late, that wasn't saying much, what with them running off doing different things all the time. Still, Reina wasn't about to suggest that maybe Ai should be performing with Risa instead. The former yankii was stubborn (and prideful) enough to believe that she could work past the barrier.

To suggest that someone else do it would be to concede defeat. And at the end of it all, Reina simply hated losing.

Smirking to herself, she swallowed the last of whatever she had been chewing on, only to be rewarded with a bop to the head.

"Ow! What the hell?!" Reina winced as she looked back up, gagging slightly on the remains of her lunch.

"I was saying, break is over, Reina." Ai's eyebrow was raised. Reina looked around. No one else was around.

"What?" Ai sighed.

"I know the others are still on lunch break, but I figured we should work on your vocals. Tsunku-san wanted us to work on our falsettos for the new song, remember?"

Reina blinked. Oh yes, Ai had mentioned that earlier. Sometimes Leader was just too conscientious...

"Oh and I was also thinking about the part where..." Ai continued, half-tugging Reina along as they went into the empty studio.

Reina shrugged and let herself be dragged. Deep thoughts were fun in small doses, but too much muddled her up. Reina liked her life simple and uncomplicated. Unnecessary complications were to be strenuously avoided. There was only so much a normal girl could handle. And she was definitely normal, despite everything.

"Reina, are you listening to me?" Reina blinked again. Did Ai-chan just say something about something being cut? Damn that woman and her funny way of speaking. One would think that after all these years, Ai would have grown out of it.

"Why the hell would you want me to cut you?" Reina stared at her. Ai stared right back. Incomprehension filled the space between them.

Then Ai laughed.

"Reina, I said 'listen' (kikimasu), not 'cut' (kirimasu)." A wide smile lit the older girl's face, as she reached out and patted Reina's arm. "You're so funny, you know that?"

"What?" Reina was fairly sure she didn't get the leap in logic, but then again, with Ai, that was an entirely normal occurrence. The younger simply shrugged and chuckled, wanting to get over the situation as fast as possible.

Ai managed to still her mirth and reverted back into drill sergeant mode, with Reina watching and listening closely this time. The younger could not help the stray thought that crossed her mind as she did so.

The difference between us...is because I just don't get you. At all.
Are you strange? Or just different?
I don't know. I don't care.
Let's just sing together, and let the rest sort itself out.


==============================================

And yes, sorry about the lousy Japanese pun. I've been learning the language, so...XD

Lame, I know. :P

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
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Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/14 - The Difference Between Us]
« Reply #154 on: April 14, 2008, 03:48:13 PM »
I think it's cute. :wub: And I love how Reina makes up all these excuses to make them all normal! But I think they're normal, at least more so than other celebrities.

Offline Grisours

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/14 - The Difference Between Us]
« Reply #155 on: April 14, 2008, 10:05:46 PM »
Well, the girls aren't exactly normal, but hey, nobody really is! That's the interesting thing about life!  :lol:
Still, Reina's thoughts on each girl were interesting, specially whent it came to Ai... She sure looks mysterious to me!
Great one-shot!

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/14 - The Difference Between Us]
« Reply #156 on: April 15, 2008, 12:46:53 AM »
It's WAR! (Wicked Aichan & Reina) :rockon: :lol:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline ringo-hime

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/14 - The Difference Between Us]
« Reply #157 on: April 20, 2008, 04:14:42 AM »
all those one-shots fics are osam..
everything!!! :wub:
all the angst,,woo. :shakeit:

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [04/14 - The Difference Between Us]
« Reply #158 on: May 20, 2008, 07:44:59 AM »
I was listening to Toki ni Ai wa, from the Utena movie, and I ended up writing this! Why? No idea. I just thought it'd be cool. XD

=========================


Duelist's Pride

"So, it's come down to this." She spoke levelly, her voice devoid of inflection, eyes with a superficial glass-like sheen, as if seeing nothing and everything at the same time. Her stance was easy, and her signet ring gleamed in the weak sunshine as she turned to face her challenger.

"I've come to challenge you, Ai-chan." An equally quiet voice, almost subdued, yet those eyes simmered with anger and hurt of betrayal. An identical rose signet adorned her left hand, and those small hands grasped a shortsword, the weapon perfectly balanced even though the grip was excessively tight, knuckles white with suppressed fury.

"I can see that." Ai made no move to draw her own katana, leaving it sheathed by her side, although she spread her hands before her, watching with cold disapproval her challenger. "Always one to let your emotions rule you, Reina." Her voice was cool, calculating.

"And your grip is wrong. How many times must I tell you not to do that?" Even as she was now, always the perfectionist. A dark chuckle rose from Reina, her grip loosening as she arranged her hold to something more acceptable. Ai nodded, but let her hands fall to her side, still making no effort to defend herself.

"Why are you here? I expected Eri to come before you." Ai sounded almost friendly, but her voice was hollow, and her eyes revealed nothing, not even compassion or even subtle interest. It was as if someone had removed her soul and left a marionette in its place.

"She would have, but I locked her in her room and came first." Reina glared at Ai, her teeth clenched, fury oozing from every pore. "I came first because she would have wanted to kill you, and I can't have that."

Ai continued to look at her with that damnably impassive gaze, as if she were some insect that she had some vague interest in, at least, not enough for her to squash. Reina ground her teeth together, setting her shoulders into a more offensive stance, but still not attacking. Reina knew full well that a foolhardy rush would cost her dearly, and had to curb her temper significantly for this.

"Strange that you would wish to preserve my life. We were never really close before, were we?" Ai reflected emptily, still unmoving, although her body was supple and relaxed, ready for instantaneous motion. Reina shifted her feet, watching carefully, hidden anxiety that there was some kind of trick to this, but seeing none.

"No." Reina found herself biting out savagely, her eyes glowing with a kind of hatred unique to her. "Eri can have what's left, after I defeat you." Her breathing grew ragged as she fought to keep from lunging at the calm woman standing before her. "I will not stand in your shadow anymore...TRAITOR!"

Unable to hold back her anger anymore, Reina quickly closed the distance between them, her shortsword flickering out like a flash of lightning, aiming straight for the exposed, unprotected neck...that was suddenly not there. Recovering quickly, Reina turned her forward motion into a sweeping back slash, the blade's movement fluid. It would have struck where Ai was standing, had the older not sidestepped again quickly, the tip coming dangerously close to her nose.

"You've improved." Ai noted, her hands still empty as she dodged yet another thrust. "But you're still flailing around too much." Another swing narrowly missed her shoulder. "You use too much force, it leaves you open to counters when I dodge." Ai calmly moved out of the way of another frenzied hack, but was forced to move a bit faster when the return swing came a bit more quickly than she anticipated.

"Stop fucking with me and draw! This isn't some demented training lesson!" Reina howled angrily as she launched another complicated series of sword movements, forcing Ai to hop backwards and actually put more effort into dodging, the older ducking and crouching low to the ground as the blade swept in a wide arc over her head.

"You aren't observing the rules, Reina." Ai noted coolly as she retreated some distance away from her attacker. "You aren't even aiming properly for the target." As she said that, she tapped at the red rose tucked in the front chest pocket of her outer coat. Reina swore under her breath, growling in her throat as she breathed heavily, exhausted by the running around after an agile opponent.

"Fuck the rules, you aren't even fighting back!" Reina spat, thrumming with righteous fury and indignation that the other was treating her like a child. Her own blue rose was tucked securely in her coat pocket, and she opted for another direct attack...or so it seemed.

"Clever feint." Ai noted almost approvingly at the blade sliced into her sleeve, but not touching her skin. "Maybe you're worth fighting after all." Reina growled again, her blade darting around, searching for an opening, and Ai was forced to make a few high back leaps in order to avoid the snake-like thrusts.

"Very good Reina, evidently you've been practicing. I'm glad." Ai landed lightly, shifting fluidly into a half crouch, one hand resting lightly on the hilt of her katana. Her eyes were lidded, as if no longer paying full attention to her challenger. "I've seen enough though, so it's time to end this."

Reina clenched her teeth again, suddenly on full alert. If Ai planned to draw her weapon, the fight was going to be a lot tougher. Ai continued to stay frozen in that stance, before she suddenly said.

"No more tricks, Reina. Come at me with all your strength, or you'll regret it." That was as much of an allowance that Reina would get, and she knew it. Forcing all other thoughts from her mind, Reina focused solely on the fight, and her opponent, who continued to stay frozen like some statue. Deep in her gut she knew that it would be settled in one strike.

Her feet were moving before she knew it, some deep instinct telling her that this was the time to strike. Moving faster than she had ever recalled moving, Reina found herself suddenly right next to Ai, the wind whistling in her ears at the force of her passage, and the damn woman still hadn't moved! Her sword came up even as she stepped around with a finesse her instructor would have approved of, even as the wind around her stilled ominously and abruptly, as if it had been cut off. In a wink of an eye, her own blade was held level at Ai 's neck, caressing the skin in a deadly embrace, but not deep enough to draw blood...yet.

"Looks like I win, captain." Reina huffed, her muscles shaking as she slowly came down from her adrenaline induced high. Reina couldn't recall the last time they had been in such intimate, deadly proximity. Probably back when they still trained as a team, back when Ai was still her beloved, respected senpai, and not, not what she was now. Even back then, Ai had never hurt her, never hurt anyone, except possibly their ego as she disarmed them and showed them what they were doing wrong.

Ai smiled, a remarkable feat for someone who had a very sharp blade held at her throat. Her eyes were still half-closed, but her grip around the hilt of her katana visibly relaxed, as if she had just let go of the weapon.

"No, Reina. You already lost." Ai did not move as Reina jerked visibly, her sword accidentally moving a fraction of an inch closer to her neck, drawing a slightest trickle of blood.

"What?" Reina didn't understand. How could she have lost? She was the one with her sword at Ai's neck, the older's life at her mercy. What was going on?

The wind on the arena grounds started again, sending a billow of blue petals high into the sky, before they showered down like a delicate spring rain. Reina stared uncomprehendingly for a moment, frozen by the petals dancing around her, before slowly looking down. The blue rose was no longer in her pocket.

"Rule of the Duels, once a Duelist's rose has been taken, the Duel ends with victory going to the Duelist with the intact rose." Ai recited mechanically with a dull satisfaction. "Where were you aiming, Reina?" Ai's own blood red rose rested in perfect condition against her chest.

"But...how...I..." Reina's sword hand began to shake, and Ai simply pushed the blade away from her throat, running a thumb at the thin line of blood there and flicking it into the wind.

"Have you forgotten my specialty so quickly, Reina? I thought better of you." Ai started walking away. Reina whirled around, her sword pointed at Ai's back. "Wait!"

"Don't be foolish Reina. You can't touch me with that." Ai did not even deign to look back, even as she vanished into the portal doorway that was the right of the champion Duelist. The doorway that had captured her.

Reina sank to her knees, her sword clattering uselessly next to her. Damn that woman. Her battojutsu had gotten even better? Reina hadn't even seen her draw. The girl clenched her fist against the ground, shaking with impotent rage at being foiled. She had let her anger overwhelm her, that raw need to hurt that woman overriding her good sense. She could not even punish the betrayal that had hurt so badly. What use was she?

Raising her head, Reina howled as the wind picked up around her, sending the remnants of battle far into the grounds below.

====================================

I actually have more to go. But eh. XD Happy reading!

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: Estrea's Sandbox [05/20 - Duelist's Pride]
« Reply #159 on: May 20, 2008, 03:34:09 PM »
Well, that was interesting. Even dueling brings out the senpai in Ai-chan. Poor Reina, though. She just has so much to learn. Why did Eri want to kill Ai-chan?  :? Great story and there's more?!  :w00t:

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