@tru_harmony: You don't do that!
@sweeety: Sorry to say but no rabu-rabu for quite some time
Here is the next chapter.
The title gives useful hints...
F.Y.I
Chapter 10
Unspoken Words
December 7 (8.33am)
Aika opened her eyes and she wasn’t shocked that her roommate was no longer beside her. She thought about what Rika told her yesterday and smiled.
Maybe it is easier than what I think it is. I know we are of different nationalities but I feel more comfortable with you than with any other Japanese girl in MM. You won’t ignore me if I tell you how I feel, will you? Is it appropriate to tell you now?“Aika, why are you still slacking on the bed?” Junjun spoke as she walked out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in her mouth.
Aika laughed. “You sound weird talking with a toothbrush in your mouth!”
Junjun laughed, took out the toothbrush from her mouth before she smacked her butt. “Get up, lazy bum!”
Aika yawned audibly. “I’m still tired…Can’t I rest a while longer?” she grumbled.
Junjun nodded and proceeded back to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She thought, “Should I tell her? The gathering is about to be over. But she didn’t get it last time round. What will she think of me if I tell her how I feel? Will she reciprocate my love or will she ignore me? Damn, this is a golden opportunity. Should I say?”
“Junjun, I have something to tell you,” Aika whispered into her ears. Junjun was shocked and she screamed. Aika laughed.
“When did you sneak behind me?”
“Isn’t that a mirror in front of you? You should have seen me!”
“Sorry, I was in a daze just now. Ok, let’s talk.” They then walked to the couch in the middle of the room and sat side-by-side. “Actually I also have something to tell you,” Junjun spoke softly.
“Is it? You say first.”
Junjun shook her head.
I haven’t quite planned how to say it yet and I want to know what you want to say. “I want to hear what you want to say first.”
“Are you sure? You go first.”
I want to hear what you want to say, Junjun. Maybe it will give me an indication whether you will like me as your godsister or not. “You go first,” Junjun spoke sternly.
Sorry, I don’t want to speak like that to you but this is the only way to make you speak first.Aika nodded as though she conceded defeat.
I guess I have no choice but to say. You seem to be angry. She made a short prayer before she said, “Junjun, you know I treat you differently from the rest, right?”
“Yes.”
You know I treat you differently as well, right?“That’s because I see you as someone special.”
Is she about to say what I want to say? Junjun blushed. “You’re special to me too.”
“I admire your strong character and your courage and from time to time, when I feel down, I look at you and you give me the strength to carry on,” Aika paused before adding, “I wonder whether we can take our relationship to a higher level.”
A higher level? What does she mean? I think she is implying what I plan to say. This is too good to be true…“Of course,” Junjun spoke happily and smiled.
Aika’s eyes brightened. “Can you be my…”
“Yes?”
Lover?“Godsister?”
Junjun was stunned to hear that. Her jaws dropped. She thought, “Godsister? So you see me as your godsister all along? So it’s only wishful thinking on my part, huh? I feel as though you had taken me on your wings and flew to the sky and then dropped me from the uppermost atmospheric layer. ‘Junjun, people take years to realize they love each other and confess. Don’t rush into it.’ Oh man, maybe Yossie was right about it. Maybe what we need is a little more time.”
“Junjun?” Aika interrupted her trains of thoughts.
“It’s fine with me, Aika,” Junjun tried to sound cheerful when she said that but she knew it was a failed attempt.
“Are you sure?”
Junjun nodded and smiled.
Maybe I ought to take it step by step. But it’s just disappointing to hear you say that. Thankfully, you spoke first. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 7 (9.02am)
“Isn’t that Ayaya? Am I seeing wrong?” Natsumi asked as she entered the dining room.
Aya walked towards Natsumi with a silly grin plastered on her face and exclaimed, “Ayaya is here!”
Natsumi laughed. “Where is Yu-”
Mari interrupted, “Nacchi, Aya is our secret guest for this year gathering and it’s all planned by Yuko.”
“Oh I see,” Natsumi murmured. She then turned to Aya and said, “Ayaya, it’s great that you’re here. I have something to talk to you about.” Aya raised her eyebrows. “It’s not really convenient to talk about it here. Let’s go to my room.”
“Ok, let’s go. Miki…where is she?” She scanned the room but she couldn’t find her friend.
“She went for a walk with Yossie,” Risa said helpfully.
“Is it? Ok…” The grin on her face vanished.
Why did you take a walk with Yossie? Did you leave me here so that the 2 of you can have private time? Stop Aya. You shouldn’t suspect Miki. She loves you.Aya and Natsumi talked about nonsensical things as they strolled towards Natsumi’s room. Once they were in the room, Natsumi locked the door and she spoke seriously, “Aya, it’s great that you’re here this year. Last year’s gathering was really quiet…”
Aya smiled. “I heard from Miki that she didn’t attend last year’s gathering.”
“Not just her. Maki as well.”
Aya flinched when she heard that person’s name. “Is it?”
“Yes, Maki said she wanted to make sure that you were fine last year after your accident.”
Why must we talk about her? She just wanted to make sure that the plan would work. “Oh.”
“But I know that was just an excuse. She hates Morning Musume’s gathering because she feels that she doesn’t fit in. Sometimes when I put myself in her shoes, I feel sad for her. Seniors don’t talk to her because she grabs most of the limelight away from us and juniors don’t talk to her because they see her as god. It is just lonely, you know?”
“I feel that way too, Nacchi. I feel out of place in H!P sometimes.”
“Well, at least you have Miki. She doesn’t.”
She used to have me. “True.”
************
Miki walked briskly into the dining room and was shocked to see her lover no longer around. “Hey, where is Aya?” she asked aloud.
Ai replied, “She went off with Nacchi.”
Nacchi? Miki raised her eyebrows. “Where did they go?”
“Nacchi’s room. Nacchi said she had something to talk to Aya about and it’s not convenient to talk about it here.”
“Thanks,” Miki replied and left the room. She remembered vaguely where Natsumi’s room was and headed for it. She wasn’t trying to be possessive over Aya and depriving her of the freedom to talk to other members but rather, she was eager to know what Natsumi wanted to talk about that was so secretive. It’s so unlike Natsumi to behave like that.
When she neared the room, she heard Natsumi mention her name. “Why are they talking about me? So Nacchi’s secret talk with Aya revolves around me?” Miki wondered. She placed her ears on the door and she could hear Aya say, “True.” What was true? Her ears were literally touching the door now as she tried her best to eavesdrop into their conversation.
******************
“Maki told me some time this year that you were the best person she had ever met in her life. I know she was the one who knocked you down and I’m not trying to ask you to forgive her or drop charges. I just want you to understand how she feels because this is the least I can do for her as a friend, as a senior.”
“Nacchi, you’re a nice senior.” Subconsciously, images of Maki telling her that she was the best person she had ever met came to her mind.
No, I must be tougher than this. I cannot allow myself to think of those days again. It’s unfair to Miki. “I visited her a couple of days ago and she looked really haggard and lifeless. She just seemed to be so tired of life itself and she was crying very badly. She said she regretted everything that she had done and she was sorry that she disappointed everyone in H!P, her fans and you. She wanted me to pass a message to you: ‘I made the wrong choice so I should suffer from it. Please allow me to suffer.’ I asked her why she said that but she just said you would understand. I hope you do. I don’t know why she mentioned you separately and she didn’t tell me what happened between the 2 of you but I just thought that it’s appropriate for you to know.”
Tears welled up in Aya’s eyes as she visualized how haggard and tired Maki looked when she told Natsumi all these.
She must be referring to Tsunku’s letter. She probably meant that I should not drop charges so that she can suffer longer. She has been suffering so much already in there both emotionally and physically, I can tell. All along, she has been suffering from loneliness in this H!P world. ‘I only request you to allow me to continue to keep those memories of us in my heart secretly’. I can never forget this line from your letter. It just brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about it. I hate you for choosing your career over me but I never hate you as a person. After some moments of silence, Aya spoke softly with tears streaming down her cheeks, “Nacchi, she probably meant that I shouldn’t drop the charges against her so that she can be in there longer. After you told me about what she had said, I feel that I should just drop the charges once and for all. But Miki won’t be happy, you know that? Although it is my choice, I want to make one that Miki will be happy about and not something that we get awkward whenever we talk about it.”
“Why will Miki be angry?” Natsumi asked.
Aya fell silent.
I shouldn’t tell her. It’s better for her not to know so much…“It’s ok if you don’t tell me,” Natsumi whispered. This was one of the times Aya understood why Maki enjoyed talking to Natsumi so much. She was such a great listener.
**********
Anger was piling up in Miki’s chest as she listened to their conversation. She thought, “Why did Aya make me sound like a bad person? Even though I hate Maki and I hate it when you cry whenever you think of her as though you miss her, I won’t stop you if you want to forgive her. I’m perfectly fine about it. Why can’t you understand how I think? I can’t stand it when people don’t know how I feel and go about rambling about their own opinion of my feelings, do you know that? I’m even more disappointed, frustrated and upset that even you do that, my dear. I thought you will understand how I feel. At least don’t go around shooting your own opinion of how I feel!”
“Miki…”
Miki turned around and was rather shocked to see who was speaking to her. “What?” she asked, her brows furrowed. I
’m in no mood to entertain. Back off!“Yossie told me the 2 of you went out for a walk because you weren’t hungry then. Is that true?”
“Yes. Anything else?” she snapped.
What the shit do you want?“You called her Hitomi, didn’t you?”
Here, I am troubled and upset over my own relationship with Aya and you come asking me all these. She could feel the anger in her growing. “So what if I did?”
Rika tried to give a defiant look. “Only
I call Yossie ‘Hitomi’ and even
I stopped calling her that-”
The anger in her was too much for her to take. Miki tugged Rika’s shirt and shouted, “I’ll do whatever I like. If you don’t have the ability to trust her and keep your relationship with her steady, don’t be surprised when she gets snatched by someone else sooner or later. Get me?”
Rika started crying. “Are you trying to-” Miki had already let go of her shirt and stomped off before she could finish her sentence. “Are you trying to snatch her away?” Rika murmured to herself, “I won’t let you do that. I won’t.”
*******
If you forget what Tsunku's letter and Maki's mushy mushy letter are about, refer to
Chap 1 Don't you just hope that the unspoken words are spoken and vice versa...
Topic: F.Y.I 29 - Recurring Moments (Read 151711 times)