CHAPTER 49
I sigh looking to the window, seeing that the sun had already gone down and my parents have not yet showed up. They must stuck in traffic somewhere. I tap my finger weakly against the bed railing beside me. I'm impatient but who wouldn't? This might be the last time I'll ever be able to stay in Tokyo or see my uncle. And Eri well it was the end for us the second I woke up. I'm certain about that. I can still feel my uncle looking at me. He's been like that for ten minutes. I don't get why he's staring, yeah so he's worried but what but what do I have to do with it? I'm not going to run away or do any harm to myself. I though that remaining silent is killing him but I have nothing to say and there's just too many things running through my head to form any proper words for my uncle to hear. I still can't get around everything. And I'm still wondering if I should just give up and listen to my parents if they want to take me home. I shouldn't leave without a single word to Eri, I know that much. It isn't right. I should tell her that I'm leaving. It's only right. She'll get that what I mean by saying I'm leaving Tokyo. We're going to...break up. Through the stillness I hear footsteps enter my room and my uncle and I both look up scared to who it might be. I relax when I see that it's not my parents, but it isn't the doctor either. Instead, it's Eri's dad. He greets my uncle shortly and turns to me. He must hate my guts right now. I mean, I am the one who blinded Eri. She's lucky to even be alive. I turn away from him, not having the courage to look him in the eye. Not after what I've done.
“Is something wrong?” My uncle asks.
“Eri's awake and she wants to see Reina.”
I pick up my head, not believing my ears. Eri wants to see me and...he's going to LET me see Eri? Right? I mean that's why he's here. To tell me I can see her or...it seems that way. I scoot over to the end of the bed. My legs hurt but they are better than they were when I first woke up. I think they can keep me stable for a while. I look to my uncle for an ok. He locks eyes with me and nods. He doesn't have to think for a second. He knows how important it is for me to see Eri. I just need to hear her voice for a little. It'll not only her feel better but me as well. My uncle gets up and I push myself as close to the edge as I can.
“I'll go get a nurse.” Eri's father says and he disappears from the room
I sit there, wondering what he'll do that will help me get to Eri faster. The nurse will probably only make me lay back in bed and I'm tried of that! I don't want to lay here another day! I want to get out of here.
“Are you sure about this?” My uncle whispers “It's not going to be easy seeing Eri like this.”
“I need to see her uncle. If my parents are going to take me away I might as well see her one last time.”
He smiles at me gently, understanding my choice. I hug him, knowing how this is hard for him. He's grown attached to me just like I have to him. Eri's not going to be the only one that's going to suffer or feel sad. Eri's dad comes back with a nurse and instead of the nurse telling me to go back into bed she brings in a wheelchair. I'm finally going to be able to see Eri. My uncle helps me into the chair and pushes me towards the door. I'm a little nervous as I reach the door. It's only one room away from me, but I also feel happy. Happy that I won't have to leave this place without getting to say a proper goodbye to Eri. My stomach ties into a knot and it feels worse when I enter her room. I'm not sure what to expect. As I draw near I can see her. She's sitting there, perfectly still, her eyes closed. You would think with her position like this that she would be sleeping, but she isn't. She's fully awake but her eyes remain closed. What's the point of having your eyes open if you can't see through them. I feel my stomach turn and everything inside me aches. She's only like this because of me. I've done that and I'm not proud of it. I hate it and I hate myself for it the most. My uncle places me close to Eri's bed and pats me on the back before leaving. Now we're alone and I don't know where to begin. I sit there, staring at her, stuck. This isn't easy. None of it is.
“Reina?” Eri chokes
I jolt back a little to the sudden sound of her voice. Her head turns to me. I blink, stunned. Her hand goes out searching for me. I pick up my good hand and lace my fingers through hers. She comes closer towards me.
“I'm here Eri.”
“I was so worried about you Reina. A-are you ok?”
I feel myself about to break down and cry. Even through all this she's only concerned about me? When she's the one who might be blind for the rest of her life. I will live on as if the accident never effected me but she can't. I can still walk and I still have my sight. I'll be back to normal. She won't.
“I'm so sorry, Eri.” I sob
I can feel tears falling down my cheeks. I've tried so hard to keep them away but it's pointless. If this is my last time with her I want her to know how I feel for her. How much she means to me and that I love her.
“I shouldn't have...if I only saw that truck. Then...you wouldn't be like this!” I sniffle and try to regulate my breathing to continue. “You'll never be able to see the things you enjoy. It's...”
“Stop it Reina.”
I pick up my head to her harsh words. But I know that she's hurting. She knows how bad the damage is done, not just done to her, but to everything around us. Her grip on me loosens and her hand travels up my arm, cupping my face. Her thumb brushes over my bottom lip. I can feel the fear in her. Her hand is shaking. She's scared and it doesn't help that I am too. For once I can't help her. I can't protect her, because I'm weak. I'm too weak to do anything right.
“It isn't your fault! Don't ever think that. You did what you could. The car was just too fast.” She brings her other hand to my face and comes closer towards me.
“Eri, be careful.” I warn her, afraid she might fall off the bed
She's very close to the edge. That doesn't stop her. She pushes my face upward and leans towards me. I close my eyes and feel her lips to mine. The kiss is sweet and soft. It makes everything inside me relax. I kiss her back, desperate for more. It's the only thing that makes me feel that everything isn't a disaster. She's more needy than usual in her kiss, but I have no problem giving her what she needs. She can't see so simple touches mean much more to her than they did when she could see. She sits back down and exhales. I wipe away my tears and sit there with a train full of emotions going through me. I can't leave her, but it isn't like I have much of a choice. My parents will be here soon and that will be the end of it. There's no talking that can be done that will change their minds not after the accident. They will be convinced that my uncle is unfit to care for me and that's not even true! The accident was my fault, not his. They shouldn't blame him.
“Eri, my parents are coming soon.” I'll just tell her. She deserves to know.
Her hands curl up, her body language changes. She knows too just from those few words what this all means. How it's going to change everything. It makes me feel even worse. Our break up isn't going to be easy. I don't want to break up with her, but with my parents I have to. It needs to be done. I know how they are. What they will do and what they will say to bring me back with them. Even if it's against my will. They are my parents and still have control over me. As much as I hate it, it's just how things are. Until I'm of legal age that is.
“Does that mean...” She struggles to get the words and who wouldn't?
Even I can't say it out loud. But we both know it. We know what will happen.
“Yeah, I'll...go back to Fukuoka.” I confirm
She bites her bottom lip and bunches her fist even tighter at her sides. I know how hard this is not just for her but for me as well. The timing is one of the worse I've seen, but when it comes to my parents I just can't stop them. They have the final say, always.
“But...you can't be so sure. I mean you haven't talked to them yet right?” She asks
She's trying to remain hopeful while I have no hope left at all. I'm convinced I'm done for. I press my lips together, sitting in the silence for what feels like hours but in reality is only a few minutes and nothing more. It looks like to me that love can't always conquer all. Some things just have a sad ending.
“Eri, I know my parents. At this time changing their minds is impossible.”
“S-so you're just gonna break up with me?”
I clutch the sides of my wheelchair. Hearing it out loud is much worse then how it sounds in my head. When she says it everything in my shakes and I feel that all the color has left my skin. She knew what I was going to do but that was expected. I never doubted her smarts. I feel myself about to tear. I put a shaking hand on to Eri's wrist, brushing my thumb over the soft skin.
“That's why you came here right?”
“No. I wanted to see you Eri.” I reply
“But you told me your parents are coming soon so you were going to break up with me. Why else would you tell me that? Are you waiting for the right time to tell me. To make our break up official?”
I don't know how to respond to that. This isn't an easy topic. Leaving her would kill me. I love her so much that I'm not sure if anything in the world can show how much. We've been through everything and so much. We've had struggles and happy memorable moments that I'll always remember, but this. This is one struggle that just can't be defeated. I blink to hold a tear back, but it quickly slips down one cheek before I can catch it. Another tear follows closely after. Now there is a river of tears dripping down my face. I can't hold it. Seeing her like this and hearing how much it hurts her makes me weak. My walls fall apart and I become nothing but a huge mess. I sniffle and take a deep breath. She turns away from me, but I can hear her light sobs. She pulls her wrist out from my hand. The rough action surprises me. I didn't expect her to get so angry. Sad yes, but angry that never crossed my mind.
“Eri,”
“Why are you giving up?” She cuts in, she rolls back towards me “You're just going to let them take you away?”
“Eri there isn't much I can do.” I insist
“Yes there is! There always is.”
I sit there, taking in every word. I've never seen her taken something so serious. I put my hand down to my sides, not sure if it would be a good idea to touch her.
“Why don't you at least try to fight for once. I love you!” She sniffles a few more times and gulp to keep it together. “Right now...I need you more than anything. I need you with me. Don't you want to be with me?”
“Of course I do! I love you so much, Eri.”
“Then why aren't you fighting? Why are you being so weak?”
I open my mouth to speak, but I instantly shut it. I realize that anything I say right now is just an excuse. It's worthless. I'm just trying to find ways to not face the facts. Eri's right. I really am being weak. I'm easily giving in. I know I've hurt her but I can't let that get in the way of our love. The guilt is strong, but now is not the time to let it take me over. I can't let it swallow me whole. I have to push it aside and stand up for what I believe in, for what I want. And Eri's the girl I want. The one I love with all my heart. I start to cry, letting all my tears fall into my hands as I put a hand over my eyes to wipe them away. Eri holds my hand again and I peek through my parted fingers to see her. She's crying too. She's hurt just like me. I move close to her and she moves towards me, using her hands to find me and keep her balance. Her hand goes around my neck and the other hand outlines my face. She goes to me and kisses me. This kiss is deeper than the previous one and it's long. Our tears mingle together, wetting our cheeks as our mouths part to deepen the kiss. Her tongue brushes into mine, hesitatingly. We don't stop until my lungs start to throb and burn, calling for air. I move back, missing her kisses as I sit back down into my chair. I exhale and she lays down, catching her own breath.
“I love you.” I repeat again.
“I love you too.”
I smile and wipe away my tears again. They're easily replaced with other tears. I'll have to control myself if I want to speak with my parents properly. I look at Eri, taking in her delicate form. I can see how fragile she is yet how strong she's trying to be for me. She's looking out for me just how I'm trying my very best to protect her. She's my world. She's worth it. She's something worth fighting for. I can't let her slip through my fingers. Everything just can't end that quickly. It isn't right. It isn't fair. We remain silent after that and I just sit there watching her, happy to be by her side. I know she's very grateful to have me with her. I know that I must have been on her mind the second she woke up just like she was on my mind, endlessly. There's footsteps behind me and I turn around to the new visitor.
“Reina, your parents are here.” My uncle tells me.
I look back to Eri. I squeeze her hand and she smiles, nodding at me. She knows what this means. She's just hoping I do the right thing and for once stand up to my parents for what I want. I let go of her hand and sit there.
“I'm ready.” I say to my uncle.
He comes and takes a hold of my wheelchair. He carefully turns me around and goes towards the open door. I won't be afraid. Now is the time to stand up to my parents. Sure they might not like it, especially my dad, but it's the right thing to do. If I don't want to leave and continue to be at Eri's side, I'll have to do this. I don't want to go back, not now. Not after how much I've made this place my home. My uncle puts a hand on to my shoulder as we get closer to my room door.
“I'm here for you Reina.” he says.
Here I go.
Topic: This Thing Called Love(UPDATED 11/26/14) [COMPLETE] (Read 173147 times)