Day 17 - No one in the Struggle has swagga like me 
I'm late like a Wu-Tang record! Can't leave The Struggle alone, the game needs me!
I said never again but here I am... once again. After last year's epic battle I promised my lil' bro that I would never join The Struggle again. I survived last year but the contest had left me scarred. My wanking stamina had completely diminished: this former wank-a-holic wasn't able to wank daily anymore. I used to be a chronic wanker but nowadays I can only do it like 3-4 times a week. Pathetic, I know. After missing The Official Wanking Day (November 30th), I decided to retire from The Struggle
(so I could pull a Jay-Z next year and come back like Jordan) and I tried wanking but.... I just couldn't finish for some reason. I watched tons of IVs, porn and hot Rika videos but I just couldn't do it. I realized that The Holy Spirit of The Struggle just won't let go off me.
You know what you are. What you're made of. The Struggle is in your blood. Don't fight it. You didn't struggle for JPH!P. You struggled for yourself. God's never gonna make that go away. When you're pushed, abstinence is as easy as breathing.I kept edging for the first 7-8 days but after I watched
ERECTION (no homo) I knew I wouldn't be able to touch my lil' bro anymore unless I was peeing. I almost jizzed in my pants like I was a member of
The Lonely Island! The first two weeks were easy as fuck: I was laughing my ass off when I saw rookies like Stryfe dropping like flies. No disrespect but some of y'all just ain't built for dis
(like my homie, arun lol....).
Masa held you down three winters; damn, where's the love? Ain't no love, in the heart of the HiP....Alright so the first two weeks were easy. So easy that I started to get worried. "What if my lil' bro is dead? What the fuck am I gonna do if he's dead & gone?" Turns out I had nothing to be worried about. Last night when I was tossing and turning in my bed, desperately trying to fall asleep, it hit me.....
IT HAS BEGUN!. I managed to sleep only like 4-5 hours and today I have been horny ever since I woke up. Claymore posted a bunch of hot
Halle Berry pix yesterday and I just couldn't get Halle's delicious tittyball out of my mind. Next I teased myself with
Saori Hara. Thank God, Saori's debut AV ain't coming out in December. For a while I thought that I was safe but then my homie introduced
Phoebe Cates to me. Yeah I know that I'm like 25 years late but better late than never. Shit, I'm probably the only guy in the world who has never wanked to Phoebe's epic topless scene in
Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Anyways I downloaded a few Phoebe nude clips and she's fucking driving me nuts! She's like the Jessica Alba of the 80s. A
naked Jessica Alba....ugghhhhhh.....
I was ready to drop my pants and rub one out but fortunately I remembered that I had a dentist's appointment. I knew I would be safe for at least 2 hours so I zipped my pants and left the house. The appointment was a total boner killer but once I got back home, The Struggle started again. I downloaded Yuuri Morishita's latest IV and watched it a little bit. BIG MISTAKE, YOU DUMMY! I even tried to take a nap but I was still too horny to sleep. I'm tired as fuck. Insomnia's a bitch but so is The Struggle. I'm babblin' like a fanfic-writer. Life's a bitch and then you jizz. I think my dentist injected me with Viagra.... what the fuck?
* Masa pulls himself together
Apparently I have been called out by some cocky motherfucker. I ain't saying no names but you know who i'm talking about. I ain't gonna drop your name cuz I'm a motherfucking three time champ and you's a one hit wonder. I'm Jay-Z. You're Jim Jones. This time I'm just gonna drop subliminal disses instead of giving you free publicity. I know you get more confidence every time I say your name out loud, you punk ass biotch.
Ha! What the fuck you boys talkin 'bout? I know it's me cause I'm the only thing to talk about!See, I ain't no fool. You've been dropping my name, trying to get me out of hiding like you were on some The Joker shit. You wanted me, here I am. The motherfucking Batman of this shit is here. You saw what happened to The Joker in The Dark Knight. That's
YOUR future, son. I'm the star of the show while you ain't even gonna be around for the sequel!
I. Will. Not. Lose......Ever!Yeah, you tried to tease me with that ol' skool '82 Phoebe Cates shit but like you said, it's A MAN'S GAME. Ain't no 3 year veteran falling for that shit, homie. You call it The Struggle but to me it's just a fucking walk in the park. You betta step yo' game up or else you gonna end up like dem 2006 Oilers. WITH FUCKING NOTHING!
....and all you other cats throwing shots at Masa, you only get half a bar - fuck y'all suckas!Aight, 'nuff beef. I wanna give a shoutout to peeps who are still in the game
-
lollipopgirl: all the other ladies have Elaine'd themselves so you're the last lady standing. That's one helluva achievement
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CKD: stay positive like Charmy!
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claymore: You're
unstoppable. Not even Ayame Misaki's new IV could bring you down.
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THUNDERDUCK: you're the craziest Struggler of 'em all! Seriously, no one else besides you Struggles in fucking April
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The Rest: Good Job!
Lastly I will quote a great friend of mine,
Mr. Daniel Plainview:
"I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed"I HOPE YOU ALL FAIL! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! 
Topic: The Struggle 2008 - No wanking contest! Bigger, Better, Uncut (Read 105372 times)