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Author Topic: Destiny/Fate BEING REWRITTEN  (Read 11722 times)

Offline Sancho

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #20 on: January 07, 2009, 12:49:54 AM »
NOS? Hahaha. Good thing Ai told Eri what it meant because for me, I thought it was some kind of Car's Nitrous brand (playing to much need for speed game  :P).

After reading the chapter, i'll still hold to some of my theory althou I'm wrong for Ai being a Day vampire  :D . I guess Sayumi and Aika saved our Ai from the other vampires. So the story is not about Day vs Night  vamps but the world domination of NOS .....  :w00t: :w00t:.... organization. Looking forward because like Eri, your readers still has a lot of question.  :D :D

Offline Joyo-Girl

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2009, 09:48:23 AM »
So I've had a part of my plot compared to Star Wars and Need For Speed?
AWESOME!

I don't have much time to work on the next chapter in a couple of days, but I should have it on Sunday, if not before.

Thanks for reading guys.
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Offline Joyo-Girl

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #22 on: January 25, 2009, 09:13:29 PM »
Okay so I lied...

I haven't updated in a while, but I've not abandoned this. I've had exams.

I will put the next chapter up in a day or so. Promise
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Offline stefy

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #23 on: January 26, 2009, 03:50:11 AM »
damn... i thought there was a new chapter...

No worries Joyo, take your time!

Offline Joyo-Girl

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #24 on: February 03, 2009, 01:05:23 PM »
A/N; Dammit! I can't even keep my own deadlines. And it's mainly because I just couldn't be bothered to boot up my computer... Sorry about that guys, but it's a snow day. My first ever SNOW DAY!!! I live in England, it doesn't happen very often (read as; Ever).
It's been so long I can't even remember which chapter this is  XD

Enjoy anyway,
JG




Aika and Sayumi were nice enough, maybe a little too nice for Vampires, though Eri did find herself thoroughly worn out by the time she'd had only one conversation with Aika. Just after she'd made the introductions Ai excused herself to the kitchen under the guise of getting some drinks - she'd been far too long and Eri suspected she was probably just leaving her to deal with the two Day Vampires.

"Sayumi?" Eri inquired slowly once Aika had stopped talking about her day in a loud voice, presumably so Ai could hear as well. "Ai said that you were both Day Vampires and I was wondering if you could tell me a little about what comes with that."

Aika perked up again, much to Eri's dismay. "So you're a DV too!?"

'DV?'

"She means Day Vampire." Answered Ai as she re-entered the room with, suspiciously, only two mugs in hand. She offered one to Eri which she took gratefully. "Mittsi has a habit of turning everything she can into an acronym."

"Oh." Said Eri. 'It sounds like a car.' She took as sip out of the mug. Coffee... strong. Ai winked at her.

"Weeeell, a DV is- what's the word Sayu?"

"Telekinetic. We're telekinetic." Sayumi supplied.

"Ummhmm! We move things with our minds."

Eri jumped in surprise, she knew what 'telekinetic' meant - she wasn't stupid, but she wasn't expecting it to be a real ability. Her head began to reel with possibilities and she started to smile when it turned to aiming fountain pens at next-doors dumb, wailing cat.

"Don't get carried away Eri," cautioned Ai. "It's not something vampires just stumble onto being able to do. It takes a lot of talent, practice and a really good mentor - It's hard work. Even Sayumi hasn't been able to lift anything more than a book and her vampirism manifested when she was about three years old."

Eri turned her eyes to Sayumi in disbelief. 'Three years old!? No way!'

Sayumi smiled leisurely, barely aware of Eri's astonishment. "I've been trying really hard but I just don't seem to have the natural ability. Plus there aren't any teachers in the area... it's odd but Tokyo seems to be more of a Night Vampire place."

"Which takes its toll on a telepath, I can tell you." Ai interjected. "It's difficult to deal with that many voices in your head."

"I-is there anything else that you think I should know?" Eri continued doing her utmost best to disguise her disappointment.

"Only one thing for now," said Ai moving to sit next to Eri. "if there's anything else you need to ask feel free to contact Sayu or Aika at any time but... I have to ask you something important."

Eri nodded at Ai, indicating that she continue.

"Reina knows about you and she knows that you're in contact with me. She won't have a choice, she'll have to tell her superiors and that will put you in the same danger we're all in. To them you've as good as chosen your side-"

"I have." said Eri, surprised with the conviction in her voice. Ai looked pleased, Aika jumped up and down at the idea but was stilled by a firm glance from the older girl.

"I'm glad to hear that Eri but I don't think you're aware of exactly what's going on. If you chose to support the Others you're going to have to learn to defend yourself. And not from thieves and playground bullies," she said decisively across Eri's protestations at her fighting abilities. "What I'm trying to get at is; will you join Sayumi, Aika and many others and train for our inevitable conflicts with the Nos?"

Suddenly Eri felt frightened. With her blanket of confusion dispelled everything was so much clearer and she could sense the danger behind Ai's words. 'This could be a really bad idea.' She obviously hadn't considered the weight of her choice when she had spoken earlier and it was very close to coming back to bite her.

"Eri," said Ai softly, laying a hand on her shoulder. "you don't have to decide everything immediately and I won't impose anything on you, just... make sure you think it all through properly and make sure they're your choices."


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eri was walking home at night again. With everything that had happened after last time maybe she shouldn't have done so, but honestly Eri was beyond caring. It was worth taking the time to think when all this information was still fresh in her head.

She knew that she was heading towards supporting Ai and the Others, but maybe she shouldn't get so involved. Danger was okay once in a while. Constant impending doom was another thing entirely. Plus she couldn't waltz home and say;

"Don't worry mom, I've just joined a large-scale vampire rebellion. The leg? Eh, it'll grow back"

Life just didn't work that way, even if she was something that most of the world's population thought was mythical.

'Confusing.' Eri sighed to herself.

Her feet walked a familiar route for several more minutes before her house came into view. It took Eri less than a minute to realise something was very, very wrong.

The front door hung away from the wall on one hinge and two windows were smashed beyond repair. She ran into the house without a second thought of the possible danger inside. Every room was trashed but there was no sign of who did it and, to Eri's vast relief, nothing was on fire. But where was...

"Mom!" Eri shouted as she ran into the kitchen to see a figure hunched in the corner of the room. Running to her mother Eri immediately went for the pulse and sighed in relief when she found it. "Mom? Mom?" She was unconcious and bleeding. Eri dialed the emergency services on her mobile and waited in a patient-panic for the ambulance to arrive.

It was only when the paramedics were lifting her mom into the vehicle and the neighbours were peeking out of their houses in curiosity that Eri allowed herself to show some emotion. Tears dripped from her eyes when she was told that she couldn't fit in the ambulance but she didn't scream bloody murder about it - she just nodded in agreement to follow later.

They drove off, the neighbours lost interest and Eri sat on her doorstep with her head in her hands.

Ten minutes later and Eri hadn't even gotten it together to call a taxi to take her to the hospital. And she was getting cold. She barely noticed the hand lay on her shoulder until its owner crouched infront of her.

"Reina?! What are you doing here?" demanded Eri knocking the hand off her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Eri," claimed the Night Vampire with a twist of regret in her eyes. "I- I didn't know she was going to be there. If I had I wouldn't have-"

"Wait, you did all this?" Eri pushed Reina over as she stood up and advanced over her fallen figure.

"No! I gave orders - I had to!"

"This is all your fault!" yelled Eri stamping her foot dangerously close to Reina's left hand. Eri's eyes flared bright orange with fury and Reina scrambled back in fear. "Why did you have to do this anyway? What did I ever do to you? My house is a wreck," another stamp. "my mom is in the hospital" another stamp, even closer this time. "and 'sorry' just doesn't cut it!" This time her foot struck true and Reina screamed in pain as she felt her fingers buckle and break.

Eri removed her foot after no longer than a minute, glared at the vampire lying on the ground and left, ignoring her cries. When she cooled down she'd regret that but for now Eri took comfort in the idea that she'd managed to cause even a fraction of the pain she was feeling.

And the hospital was calling her name






A/N; ... got a little more dramatic at the end than I was planning, but I rather like it actually. Sorry Reina... you're Eri's punching bag today :( New character next chapter! Look forward to it
JG
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Offline ShikyoxYaiba

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #25 on: February 04, 2009, 02:03:21 AM »
Uh oh... Poor Eri. :cry: I kind of do wonder if Reina will explain. This is really gonna push Eri in Ai-chan's direction... Or so it seems.

Offline JFC

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #26 on: February 04, 2009, 05:21:29 AM »
Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooly crap Reina fucked up! :o

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline stefy

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #27 on: February 04, 2009, 11:24:47 AM »
Noooo Reina's not the bad guy!.. girl.. !! I hope...

now I'm curious, who ordered her to do this??... THAT PERSON IS THE BAD GUY! ... OR GIRL!

Offline Sukoshi

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #28 on: February 04, 2009, 12:07:36 PM »
Ah glad you updated!  :D

Poor Reina...the side she's on seems so bad (that must mean it's the good side right? XD)...I hope Eri doesn't hurt Reina anymore but on the other hand I'm excited over the building up action.  Can't wait to see Eri try out her telekinetic powers!

Offline kRisZ

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #29 on: February 05, 2009, 02:46:07 PM »
me thinks... who's good and who's bad?

it's nice  :yep:

Offline chibilolli

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #30 on: February 06, 2009, 08:37:02 AM »
... Sorry about that guys, but it's a snow day. My first ever SNOW DAY!!! I live in England, it doesn't happen very often (read as; Ever).
Do you have any un-forecast snow today? I was like WOO HOO~ on Tuesday when it started, but now (Friday) I'm angry that it's snowed again. I want to go to Argos dammit!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to apologise for my lack of comments. I'm having issues with writing things at the minute but I just want you to know that I still read this fic, and I'm still enjoying it a lot :twothumbs

Can't wait for the next chapter. Hopefully then I'll be able to give you a better comment.

Offline Joyo-Girl

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #31 on: March 09, 2009, 12:13:19 AM »
A/N;Good God it's been a while!
Sorry about that... I've just been too tired to sit down for an hour or so to type. You see I make this all up as I go along and the only time my writing seems to be any good is when I've got the "reply" box open, but I recently downloaded Wakeshima Kanon's album and it got me thinking again.
I'm sorry for not replying to your comments... I'm really bad at that, but know that I wouldn't be writing this without them :D

Please enjoy this new chapter even though it's probably going to be quite short
JG


----------------------------------------------------------------

Eri blinked and sat up slowly. She yawned and reaching a hand towards her mouth, she looked at the digital clock by her beside. Somehow she had managed to beat the alarm clock by approximately ten minutes, and was now desperately wishing that sleep would grab her again... but no such luck - she had a schedule to keep.

Eri slipped out of bed and began throwing on the clothes she could find. The cold air in the bedroom hit her hard and she shivered uncontrollably for a few minutes whilst she rotated an ache out of her arm. Eri studied the room she stood in and thought, like she did every morning;

'Ai's been far too good to me'

And maybe she had been. Eri had no idea how she could possibly repay Ai for her kindness in the last couple of weeks, she had been taken in, given a new room (supplanting Sayumi, as it were) and food and warmth and all she had to do was turn up for training every Saturday, sometimes Sunday. Speaking of which...

Eri headed into the kitchen and immediately noticed the figure slumped over the table.

"Ai?" she questioned, shaking the girl in question lightly. "Ai?"

The girl emitted a loud groan as she regained conciousness.

'She must have been up all night again...'

"Don't worry about me," Ai said in a voice that immediately signalled she hadn't yet spoken that morning. "I'm alright."

"You shouldn't be-"

"It's important, Eri." she replied in a tone that decisively ended the consversation.

What was so important Ai wouldn't tell anyone and Eri had long since given up asking or wondering about it, but it was enough for the older girl to be losing sleep on a regular basis. But she wouldn't hear anything of anyone's concern for her.

Eri sat down at the table after briefly considering getting some breakfast - she'd need a lot of energy (it was Saturday after all) but she just couldn't be bothered to prepare/pour/accidentally burn anything. Ai rubbed her eyes and yawning most inelegantly staggered to her feet and towards the espresso machine.

As it turned out she would very much need the caffeine shot because, at the precise moment the cup had been filled and Ai was lifting it towards her lips, a loud thud was heard from upstairs. Meaning that Aika was now awake and in the process of bounding down the stairs, of course.

'Eventually, she's going to break something.' Thought Eri somewhat morbidly.

And when the girl appeared in the doorway and rushed over to the most sugary cereal she could find, Eri was once again grateful for Sayumi's great sacrifice.

----------------------------------------------------

Training mainly consisted of combat practice which, from everything Ai had told her, didn't surprise Eri in the slightest. What did surprise her was the sheer number of people who were in the rented room when she walked in. Day and Night Vampires of all ages who all treated Ai like she was some kind of mortal goddess and by extension Aika, Sayumi and now herself were subjected to Hero-Worship too.

It made Eri sick. Ai was nice and all but she wasn't the greatest thing alive ever!

'Although,' Eri conceded 'in a few years she might be able to give Gandhi a run for his money.'

Currently, Ai stood at the front of the room leading the "class" in a serious warm-up. The woman could stretch and Eri, for all her kick-boxing, found it a little difficult to keep up. She was in 'tough leader mode' or 'TLM' if Aika had her way, and it was nigh on impossible for anyone to talk to her during the three hours she led the class.

That was only when the day was normal...

This time, training would certainly be abnormal.

Sometime during a particularly confusing sequence of moves the door swung open and a woman stumbled through. She moaned before slumping to the ground and proceeding to lose conciousness.

Eri froze as the familiarity of the scene struck her. Ai abandoned her 'Tough Leader Mode' and parted the stunned students like an ocean but no-one expected the sudden drop of her expression and the gasp of surprise as she neared the half-alive woman.

She skidded along the floor as she sped up. Ai brushed the hair out of the woman's face to confirm her identity.

"Nacchi?!"

-------------------------------------------

A/N; Ooh, I'm evil. I'm sorry about it taking so long to update.
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Offline ShikyoxYaiba

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #32 on: March 09, 2009, 12:41:32 AM »
Nacchi too!? :omg: Wtf happened!?

Offline Haruka

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #33 on: March 09, 2009, 04:33:37 AM »
OMG this looks so interesting *.*


God!! She knows she's HOT!

Offline stefy

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #34 on: March 09, 2009, 06:02:44 AM »
woohooo!! Update!

Eri staying with Ai and Gang... Then what happened to Eri's mom? Sooo, Nacchi's a vampy too? She didn't get attacked by Reina too did she? Reina ain't ebil I tell ya! .. I hope...

Offline Joyo-Girl

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #35 on: March 10, 2009, 11:12:10 AM »
Chapter 6 1/2

A/N; To make up for the length of the last chapter I'm going to update today!!! and not leave it for a month ever again.

Well, here we go... Don't expect too many answers, but there'll probably be a couple of new mysteries  ;)

@stefy- I deliberately left matters with Eri's mom a bit vague, hopefully to add a little more tension later. everything will be explained with my so far planned Ai-Reina confrontation!  :twothumbs: but I get the feeling you'll know before then - I don't plan very far in advance  XD

Please enjoy what should be considered Part Two of the last chapter,
JG


-----------------------------------------------

Eri had never seen Ai so emotionally unguarded, nor had she seen Sayumi anything other than serene, but the usually placid girl was obviously panicking behind her eyes as she joined Ai next to the woman who had been identified as 'Nacchi'.

Eri shivered determined not to read into the situation too much but all she found herself thinking as she looked at the battered woman was

'Just like mom' Momentarily forgetting that she was in a room with a distraught Night Vampire. Ai fixed her with a harsh glare - there were tears of fright and worry in her eyes and Eri immediately felt guilty for forming the thought.

"Someone" began Ai, her voice thick with unshed tears. "help us move her into the medical room." It was just adjacent to the main training room but so far they'd never had to carry a full-grown, unconcious woman across the hall and into it. Vampire strength wasn't completely untrue, but it did have its' limits.

No-one stepped forward in response to Ai's half-request, half-command. The younger students were all too stunned to see their great mentor lose her steely exterior. Eri shook her head at them and, ignoring her own psychological protests, moved over to the small group on the floor.

Ai didn't acknowledge her help as they started to lift the woman, nor did she completely ignore it, but Eri knew she would probably need to apologise for her carelessly loud thought.

Within a couple of minutes they were setting the woman onto the convenient sofa bed and Ai began cleaning her wounds. Sayumi had barred Aika from entry to the room so it was just the three of them sitting in an uncomfortable silence while Ai ripped open bandages and applied alchohols and creams.

"Most of the blood isn't hers." Ai said quietly as she set a broken thumb.

Eri gave a cautious smile. "Isn't that a good thing?"

Ai looked up at her for the first time in fifteen minutes. "No."

Confused at the blunt dismissal, Eri looked over at Sayumi for answers. Sayumi signalled Eri to join her outside the room. "We can leave her for a few minutes," she said "she knows what she's doing."

Nodding, Eri followed her through the door into the next room where everyone was waiting in apprehension for a command from their fearless leader. Sayumi had no choice but to pick up the mantel and order everyone to go home for now - they'd call another practice on Sunday if it was needed but it wasn't likely.

Once the hall was clear of everyone but Aika, Sayumi made it clear that it wasn't her place to explain anything other than the fact that if it's someone else's blood, who's to say that it's an enemy's?

Eri felt her stomach drop even lower, she was worried for what exactly that could mean for the woman but she also felt stronger with hope that she would recover.
 
Most of the time the three girls sat outside waiting for Ai to tell them that they could enter the medical room was spent in silence. The situation was serious and it even managed to calm Aika out of her usual hype. No-one could find anything appropriate to say, so they didn't bother.

----------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere you'd only find if you weren't looking for it a girl was sitting against a wall which belonged to a purely white room. She looked completely out of place in the sterile room, with her long black hair, matted with dried blood stark against the painted surroundings.

She was scared out of her mind. She didn't know what was they wanted from her or what they were going to do to her, but she did know what the eventual conclusion would be...

They were going to kill her in the end. After all, that's what the Nos did with all their hostages.

--------------------------------------------------------------------


A/N; Good lord, the suspense!!! I wasn't even planning on that last bit so I hope you like the plot twist :D
« Last Edit: March 11, 2009, 12:26:04 AM by Joyo-Girl »
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Offline JFC

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #36 on: March 10, 2009, 06:35:14 PM »
Whoa...
:stunned:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline stefy

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #37 on: March 17, 2009, 05:11:49 PM »
.... Nos? So the Nos is responsible for Nacchi and Eri's mom's injuries? Who's the new hostage?!

Offline Joyo-Girl

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #38 on: March 23, 2009, 10:11:33 PM »
Sorry, not a new chapter.
Just a note to say that there should be a new chapter within the week and then I have around about three weeks of holiday and I'm planning on writing at least three chapters over that time...

And I still don't know how this is all going to end.

Quick Questions;
Do you think my plot is too linear?
I'm no good at foreshadowing because I don't plan my chapters and I'm a little worried it might be predictable
Is there a character you would really like to see?
I'm having some trouble choosing some girls
Do you feel sorry for Reina?
Cause that's the angle I'm going for... for now  :twisted:
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Offline Sancho

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Re: Destiny/Fate [Eri-focused, Vampire fic]
« Reply #39 on: March 24, 2009, 05:59:21 AM »
Well. let see....

1. Linear stories are just fine. as long as it's not too complicated. You said your not good at foreshadowing but I think you can practice that by adding it on your work. But the most important thing is, enjoy on what your doing. I'm sure it will make you satisfy on your work.  XD

2. You already put my beloved Eri  :love: :love: :love:. But I think it will be great if Junjun is included. I think she's a Kamei Fan herself.  :lol: :lol:

3. Based on your current chapters, I hate her...... :angry: for now...... But if she has enough reason why she did that, I might forgive her.  :lol: :lol:

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