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Author Topic: Torn in Two (Saki/Miya; Chapter 7 ~ Poison) *Updated 4/20*  (Read 20171 times)

Offline panickofpain

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Torn in Two (Saki/Miya; Chapter 7 ~ Poison) *Updated 4/20*
« on: April 06, 2009, 02:16:12 AM »
Torn in Two (Saki/Miyabi)
Prologue
Chapters 1-3 ~ Page 1
Chapters 4-5 ~ Page 2
Chapter 6 ~ Page 3
Chapter 7 ~ Page 4

Hoping for Chance (Saki/Miya *main* *but has* Saki/Momo & Miyabi/Risako)

___________________________

As I was saying yesterday, I got a lot of time in my hands and said to post my one-shot also yesterday but it turns out I didn't so I just posted it now. The reason is that while I'm thinking about my one-shot for C-ute, I got distracted by other ideas aside from my mothers constant nagging with other stuff. This idea is to make a fic series (that is what my sister calls it), with Saki in it. Distracted by the sudden ideas for this series, I didn't get the chance to think for my C-ute one-shot. But to my persistent attitude to finish the one-shot first before writing this series. To my surprise, I did finish the one-shot but was not really confident about it.

And now as to what I said to myself, I'll write this series. Comments/Corrections/Suggestions are encouraged.  :heart:
___________________________

Prologue

Outside a well-built house painted with shades of blue and green, Saki stands with her left hand inside her pants pocket while she raises her other hand to look at the time. How long does it need to take for a girl to get ready for a date? Saki thought until she remembers she is also a girl. But I don't take this long...

"Sorry!" A voice came from the just opened door, revealing Miyabi in her cute shirt with a bear in the middle holding a big heart with the word I Love You written over it. So, she did wear it. Saki thought as she checks her out from top to bottom.

Feeling her face turning red after seeing the older girl staring at her in amusement, Miyabi stuttered as she asks. "W-why are you staring at me like that?" Looking down as her senpai turns to look at her face. A grin came from Saki as she saw Miyabi's sudden change of view.

"You look beautiful in that shirt I gave you." Saki finally said before holding her hand out, waiting for Miyabi to take it.

Blushing a little bit more because of the words she heard, she finally takes Saki's hand and let her lead the way.

"So where are we going?" Miyabi asks breaking the silence between them.

"hmmm..." Miyabi heard as Saki tilted her head to think.

"So you haven't planned this date Saki-chan?" Miyabi asks in a disappointed tone since she thought Saki has plans on what they are going to do or at least where they are going.

Saki quickly turned to Miyabi as she heard a sigh. "I planned this out." Saki replied in defense. Her face changing from defensive to a soft, cheerful, warm expression and gave out a genuine smile. "Why wouldn't I plan this out? When I'm going out with the most beautiful girl I laid my eyes on."

Most beautiful girl I laid my eyes on... Miyabi repeated in her mind as she smiles at Saki, turning a little red again but knowing that this girl she was with really likes her...no, this girl loves her, she corrected herself.

They went in a clothing store, finding Miyabi a new black and white striped jacket while Saki got a new light blue shirt with the initials MN on it.

"Why pick that simple shirt? Don't you want another one in the same color but different printing?" Miyabi curiously asked while searching for a replacement.

"Miya..." Saki called, trying to stop Miyabi from searching, which she did and looks at Saki.

"What?" Miyabi clenched her arms together waiting for Saki's explanation.

"The reason why I like this shirt is because it has the letters MN on it." Saki explained as she points out the two letters that are not hard to see.

"So? Its still plain." Miyabi concluded as she holds the shirt and stares at the letters.

"Think harder." Was the only thing Miyabi heard her senpai told her.

MN? Miyabi asked herself. MN... Saying the two letters the second time helped her to figure out what Saki was trying to say. "Oh..." Looking at the other girl who was smiling pleasantly at her that she finally solved the puzzle. With that thing solved, she instantly changed her mind and let Saki buy the shirt she wanted.

It was about lunchtime that they finished window-shopping after the clothes store and decided to settle in for yakiniku. As they were nearly finished in their meal, Saki held out her hand, signaling Miyabi to give her hand. Not having a reason to disagree, Miyabi held out her hand to the girl in front of her as the other was searching through her pockets for something. Curious on what it is, Miyabi stayed silent and her eyes looking at the Saki, until Saki speaks and brings her other and out of her pocket.

"We've been going out for sometime now Miya-chan..." Saki started while fixing the thing she just took out from her pocket. "And I can't help but think that now is the time to take it to the next level..." Miyabi's eyes widened as she listens to the one who was holding her. Captain...Saki-chan... Are the only words going around Miyabi's brain for a while.

Revealing the gift Saki was preserving in her pocket until the right time, it turned out to be a wonderful bracelet with a heart shaped diamonds. Miyabi stared at it quite surprised while Saki places it on her wrist. Miyabi pulled her hand slowly and raised it up to get a better look.

"Miya-chan... Will you be my girlfriend?" Saki finally asks with butterflies in her stomach not wanting to get a rejection, but to how Miyabi didn't refuse the gift, maybe she will not get a rejection after all.

Staring at Saki after hearing her last word, girlfriend, Miyabi smiles at the girl who was staring at her worriedly, and Saki finds it as a YES, but waited for the girl to answer.

"Yes Saki-chan. I do love to be your girlfriend." Miyabi finally answered seeing the other girls face turn red in content and joy. Without anything further, Miyabi leaned forward to kiss her new girlfriend.

Leaving the empty Yakiniku plates behind, Saki and Miyabi found themselves walking side by side with their hands together and their fingers twined together. Yes they were holding hands before but this time its different, different, because they are not only friends anymore but lovers.

As they were walking, chatting with what happened to them during school, Miyabi suddenly was tugged back and as she looks back at Saki, she stopped walking and was like frozen on the spot while staring blankly at something ahead. Curious on what was the reason that Saki stopped, she looks at the direction Saki was looking at, revealing a well known face that she haven't seen for a very long time.
_____________________

I think I lost my writing skills on Chapter fics... That's why I tried doing one-shots and I think I am getting the hang of it. Now about this... I'm not too sure...
« Last Edit: April 20, 2009, 12:04:03 PM by panickofpain »

Offline Hotaru

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Re: Torn in Two (Prologue; Miya/Saki/?)
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2009, 05:58:25 AM »
ARE YOU CRAZY?!?

You're doing great.

Must...find...out...familiar...face.  :pleeease:

Offline panickofpain

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Re: Torn in Two (Prologue; Miya/Saki/?)
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2009, 06:03:16 AM »
really? lol, maybe its this negative part of me, keeps saying I don't know how to make fics... :sweatdrop:
you'll find out as soon as I get my motivation later...  :twothumbs
_______

What happened before I write the next chapter
When I was out to buy coke, I finally got the motivation I needed to do the next chapter and maybe finish it tonight and post it tomorrow. When I came home, I checked out some forum threads until I saw this one news that made me lose the motivation. I was really shocked and the news made me uneasy and wondered how Chinami was doing now. Chinami collapsed in their concert just before they were going to sing Sono Subete no Ai ni. (GOSH! My Chinami! :cry:) I felt like crying but I need to believe that she is fine and will recover. I don't want to jump into cconclusions so I'll leave my thoughts until there. So maybe, if I get over Chinami's incident, well, at least until I finish writing the first chapter. So please wait for it. I'll do my best while Chinami is also doing her best. Ganbare, Chii-chan!  :twothumbs

P/S: I'll post the fic a little later, I'm just going to start writing.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2009, 11:36:41 PM by panickofpain »

Offline panickofpain

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Re: Torn in Two (Prologue)
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2009, 11:55:07 PM »
As you all know the reason what made my motivation go away, this is the result of trying to get that motivation back.
Hope this is an okay start for my fic. Comments please...  :heart:
btw, does anyone know how long a short fic is? I mean in chapters? Cause I think this fic would just be short...
______________________________

Chapter 1 - Unexpected News

Not taking her eyes of the girl in front, Saki tugged Miyabi's hand, telling her that they will take their leave. "Miya-chan, let's go." Saki whispered as Miyabi got closer to her. Miyabi looked at the person that made Saki feel uncomfortable at just a simple encounter. Miyabi wanted to greet the other girl when Saki pulled her and led her away from the scene.

Arriving finally in Miyabi's house, Saki tiptoed as she leans in to press her lips unto the taller girl. "I hope you had a great time today." Saki asks with a smile that made Miyabi smile back. "I know I did." Miyabi replied before placing the keys on the lock, opening the door. A click was heard as Miyabi opens the door then looks at Saki.

"Well, see you again next week." Saki carefully said as her smile faded when the other girl showed a pout.

"So we can't see each other this week?" Miyabi asked in a pleading tone.

"I'm sorry Miya but school is busy and you also have things to settle." Saki explained, but seeing Miyabi looking down, Saki tried to cheer her up. "Hey, don't think of it as a bad thing." She started, "Think of it as a week that I'll miss you so much."

Miyabi looks at the smaller girl, letting her know she's already okay with the idea but made her promise that she will come by next week. Saki didn't turn her down but pressed her lips on Miyabi as her response. So this means yes... Miyabi told herself as she joins the pleasure by kissing her girlfriend back.

...a week has passed

"Aren't you going to come in?" Miyabi asks and waits for the other girl to respond.

Why can't I forget about that incident? Saki kept thinking, until Miyabi poked her hard on her side.

"Ow..." Saki cried as she holds the place in pain and looks at Miyabi.

"Is there someone else in your mind than me?" Miyabi asks with a jealous stare.

"No! I just recalled a homework I need to do over later." Saki said in defense and tried not to stumble on any word that might led Miyabi to what she was really thinking.

"Oh. Well, then, do you want to come in or do your homework?" Miyabi asks with a smirk on her face, taunting Saki to try and make a mistake on choosing.

Yokatta... That was close... Saki thought as she followed Miyabi inside and closes the door behind.

Miyabi introduced Saki to her mother once again since it has been a long time since Saki came to her house for a visit. "Just tell me if you girls need anything." Was the last thing Saki heard from Miyabi's mother as Miyabi closes the door of her room.

"I'm glad that was over. Mom could get so hyped up when we have visitors." Miyabi explains while Saki giggles on how she was acting.

Miyabi kept silent as her cheeks grew red. She was trying to put her attention on her shoes as she bumps the soles of each shoe together but it didn't take long when two shoes came to view and when she looked up, Saki was just a few centimeters away from her. Miyabi couldn't take her eyes of Saki's as her heart beat fast and before she knew it, her lips were locked with her girlfriend. She slowly closed her eyes, as she enjoys the thrill happening to her at the moment. Saki slid her arms around Miyabi's waist as she pulls her closer. No one could explain how they were feeling at that moment, even Saki who was more mature than Miyabi couldn't find the words to explain it all but all she could think of is that it was indescribable.

Breaking their passionate encounter, Miyabi grinned at the Saki before walking to the bed, sliding herself under the covers. Saki smirked as she knew what the other was trying to say. She followed the younger girl and slid under the covers, cuddling the one beside her. There they continued their unbreakable desire for each other, until Miyabi's phone vibrated in her pocket. She didn't want to break the moment so she ignored it. Seconds has passed but the vibration on Miyabi's pocket didn't cease. Miyabi nudge Saki gently away as she sits up to answer the call that disturbed them.

"Wh-at is - it Ri-sa-ko?" Miyabi asked still breathing heavily, trying to catch her breathe.

"Miya-chan! Is something wrong? You sound like your gasping for air..." The voice of the younger girl echoed from the other line.

Miyabi holds her hair up as she closes her eyes and breathes in for more oxygen before looking at Saki, but the older girl was laying down still, looking at the ceiling. "Nothing's wrong Risako... I-I was just doing my afternoon exercise." Miyabi lied as she lays down, snuggling beside the other girl that hugged her as soon as she is in a comfortable position.

"So Miya-chan, are you free tomorrow?" Risako suddenly asks while sitting down on the edge of her bed moving her feet up and down, waiting for the other girls response.

"uhmmm..." Miyabi stopped to think and looks at Saki pressing her phone on her chest so that Risako won't hear. "Risako's asking me if I'm free tomorrow." Saki looked at her, confused but agreed to let her go with the younger girl tomorrow.

Miyabi agreed to go with Risako to the clothing store tomorrow to help her pick new clothes for the upcoming party Risako was attending. With that settled, Miyabi put her phone back in her pocket and snuggled more closer to Saki and the other wrapped her arms around the snuggling tiger.

"I'm letting you go with her tomorrow, but don't let anything happen between the two of you. I'm a jealous person." Saki warned as she held Miyabi tighter. Miyabi could sense the seriousness on the older girls tone that she just nodded before feeling a slight warm peck on her forehead.

Silence entered the room as they stayed closer together not wanting to let go of the other. Miyabi took a peek at her girlfriends face and still couldn't believe that she is now having Saki-chan, their captain as her girlfriend, HER girlfriend.

As she finally sees Saki's face, she could tell that the older girl was not with her, yes she is with her now, physically but mentally and emotionally, she wasn't. Saki's gaze made Miyabi pout but she was curious on what the other was thinking. She was about to say something when Saki first spoken.

"Miya-chan..." She started, "When you are looking for something important but couldn't find it..." Miyabi looks curiously at Saki as she waits for her to continue. "You start to ignore everything that wants to take its place."

Not moving, Miyabi tries to understand what the other was saying.

"Are you still with me Miya?" Saki asks looking down at the still form of Miyabi. "Yes, I'm still here." She heard her say before continuing.

"You reject everything, until this one time, this one coincidence, you let something in and it appears you grow fond of this new thing before realizing you have moved on from the one you lost." Saki paused as she tries to come up with the next appropriate words while playing with the younger girls hair.

"Years have passed and you were having the greatest time with the new one when suddenly, the one you lost came back and you realize you really haven't moved on." Feeling dizzy from what the other girl was trying to say, Miyabi sits up straight looking at Saki as she also sits up.

Miyabi studied the girl’s face, which held the feelings of worry and sadness. "I don't understand what you were saying. Did something happen?"

Saki looks at he edge of the bed where her hand was tugging the end of the blanket. "Remember last week, we were walking until I froze on the spot?"

Miyabi looks at the girl, trying to recall what happened next. Ah! Yes, I remember. That time, Saki-chan froze when she saw- Her eyes widened when the idea popped in her head.

"So..." Miyabi started, looking at Saki with her eyes of defeat. "You still didn't get over Megu..." Miyabi's voice faded as the older girl looks at her with the eyes that couldn't hide the truth.

Slowly getting out of the bed and walking a few steps farther, Saki finally explains her side. "You're right. I haven't gotten over Megu...but not until you came in and replaced that lost feeling." Miyabi couldn't control herself as her cheeks turn red.

Why am I blushing in this serious conversation... Miyabi asks herself covering her face for Saki not to notice.

"But seeing Megu-chan a week ago made me feel I want her again..." Miyabi's blush fades as she heard what Saki said. Stepping out of her bed, Miyabi walked towards Saki whose back was still turned to her.

"I have been thinking about it the past week and came to a conclusion..." Miyabi could feel her heart beat fast as she was frightened to learn what this conclusion is. Could it be bad for her? For them? or For both Saki and her?

Before Saki could continue, she felt a warm feeling behind her and the arms that held her tighter. It feels warm when the one you love holds you. She thought while enjoying it for the time being. "I..." Miyabi could only close her eyes tighter not wanting to think that Kami-sama was punishing her. She couldn't think of anything she had done to get that kind of punishment until Saki continued.

"I, I was just obsessed. Obsessed to talk to her again. Obsessed to get to spend time with her again but..." Miyabi felt sudden warmth on her hands when she realized Saki took them both and held onto them, releasing herself from Miyabi's hug.

Saki turns to look at Miyabi's face that held an expression she wouldn't want to give her again. "I'm not in love with her anymore." Saki whispered as she walks closer to the other girl and gives her the only thing that would let her know she was the one Saki loves.
_____________________

Suggestions/Corrections is highly encouraged! ^_^
Comments are highly required!  :lol:
Well, I won't post anything until I get at least 4 comments... XD
Cause it makes me nervous when no one/some just comments... makes me think that it wasn't good... And comments help me get more motivation... :sweatdrop:
« Last Edit: April 11, 2009, 03:03:24 PM by panickofpain »

Offline Hotaru

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 1 ~ Unexpected News)
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2009, 12:51:42 AM »
Calm down, Panick-chan!

MiyaRii, hmm...something mysterious is going on..

Keep updating :tantrum:

Offline ayase909

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 1 ~ Unexpected News)
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2009, 05:36:23 AM »
hahha as i've said! i like saki-miya............ :whistle: but i love the miya-risako pairing! :luvluv2: :luvluv2: :luvluv2:

yosh! like this one!

next chappie, author-san!  :kneelbow:




Offline panickofpain

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 1 ~ Unexpected News)
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2009, 06:43:50 AM »
@Hotaru: Something mysterious...  :pimp:  I don't know yet..  :lol:

@ayase909: no worries... You'll get Miya/Rii as soon as I get 2 more comments from other people...  XD

There, gave everyone a clue on what might happen next.. well, at least who is in the next chapter...  :P
I already thought of the plot for the next two chapters..  XD  all I need to do is write it... but for now... its lunch time..  :lol:

Offline YumePouk

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 1 ~ Unexpected News)
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2009, 09:23:21 AM »
Nice chapter ^^
I like SakixMiya pairing  :wub: :wub:
aww >_< I know how Saki feel  :yep:
But Miyabi is there to take care of her  :ptam-shy:
:luvluv2: :luvluv2:

Keep up ur good work  :ptam-ok:
Like I didn't hear it, like I couldn't hear it.... I shouldn't have heard your love in the first place
]

Offline panickofpain

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 1 ~ Unexpected News)
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2009, 05:13:24 PM »
^ Thank you YumePouk!  :heart:  I will try my best to continue this fic.  XD

There... only one more and I'll post the next chapter.. I just finished it and I was surprised on what I have written.. I didn't expect it to have such a fluff... :O

Offline rokun

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 1 ~ Unexpected News)
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2009, 05:25:08 PM »
It was definitely quite some fluff. ^^ Of course there's nothing wrong with fluffiness... :wub: Those girls don't get enough of it around here. ;) Take your time in writing and posting your chapters though, there's no rush. ^^ Although I know you have to write when inspiration strikes. And now you're talking about MiRii in the next chapter too... well, for Captain's sake, I'm not sure if I hope it's too fluffy. ;) Then again, I'm sure ayase wouldn't mind. :lol:

I was gonna say earlier too that after your prologue, I did get the one-shot feel like you were talking about. XD It seemed like it was going to be a one-shot until the end there... Megumi was a bit of a surprise, but I suppose anything could have happened in those ZYX days...

Offline panickofpain

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 1 ~ Unexpected News)
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2009, 05:39:16 PM »
Well, yeah, I felt it was really a one-shot... since I quit doing series of chapter fics last year but now, I tried to do it again. I guess I have to dig up my other brain from its resting place. :huhuh

But yeah, you're right about the inspiration. I get all crazy to write the ideas and turn it into sentences just so that I won't forget. Cause when it pops in my head and I just let it stay there until maybe a few days.. The idea would still be there but the feeling of writing it has left... Now I'm sounding as if I'm eager to post my fics... well.. I think it does sound like that... :sweatdrop:

Well, in those ZYX days, Saki and Megumi are the closest and that's where the idea came up... (Now I miss Megumi...)
« Last Edit: April 07, 2009, 06:09:10 PM by panickofpain »

Offline panickofpain

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 1 ~ Unexpected News)
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2009, 06:27:34 PM »
Because I was sooo eager to post this... here it is... Chapter 2...
I don't know why they keep coming in.. they won't let me rest.. these ideas...
anyway... about this chapter... all I can say is... ENJOY!  XD
oh yeah... I'm sorry if Miyabi's attitude here is a little different... well I can't really say a little, can I?
So once again.. I don't know what to expect from you guys...
____________________


Chapter 2 - Desire

Arriving in Shibuya, the very well known shopping district in Japan, Miyabi stops over every store they pass by, browsing on every cute things she sees. "Ah!" She gasps as she pulls Saki towards a very famous shoe shop, Nike.

Saki's eyes widened as she surveys the shop, didn't want to look at the price tags until Miyabi shoves a pair of pink colored rubber shoes laced with white colored stripes on the sides, has a check logo at the rear and white shoelace. "Don't they look cute?" Miyabi asks excitedly as she keeps skipping around Saki holding both shoes tightly.

Saki laughs as she watches Miyabi skipping around like how a kid would do when she finds something she really likes. "Miya-chan, would you please stop skipping around? The store manager is already looking at us." Saki warned as she looks at the store manager and bows a little in apology.

Stopping as she saw the older girl bowing down, she felt a little ashamed on how she acted as she also bows down. "I'm sorry." Miyabi apologizes as she puts her hands down walking back to the place where she saw the shoes she wanted to buy.

Saki walks behind her as Miyabi places the shoes back to its proper place. "How much is that?" Saki asks before reaching out for the price tag. Saki's eyes widened as she reads the tag. 100,000 yen... In shock on how much that cute pink colored shoes cost, as she stares at the tag, she could see three, slowly circling around. She releases the tag as she closes her eyes to take out the dizziness she feels.

"Well..." Miyabi asks, her hands clasped together, placed a little under her chin in a form of praying. As she pleads Kami-sama to let her buy the shoes even if its so expensive for walking shoes.

The older girl looks at Miyabi, staring at her eyes, those eyes that seem to tell she really wanted those shoes. Saki looks at the shoes again before giving a sigh. "Do you really want this?"

Miyabi nodded her head continually as Saki takes the shoe, examining it from all sides. "Miya-chan..." Saki calls as she puts back the shoe. Seeing Saki putting back the shoe, she finally accepted the fact that it was impossible for her to buy that. Well, yeah, they get lots of money from work but they keep it for savings and help their parents for household bills. So it’s really impossible... She tells herself as she looks at Saki who was still staring at the shoes. Maybe next time. For sure, the price will drop down in a few months.

Holding Saki's hand, she led her out the store. "You don't want to buy those shoes?" The older girl asks as she stops and  pulls Miyabi to a stop.

"I will." Miyabi answered as she slid both her hands to each back pocket of her pants, trying not to get caught on Saki's stare.

"Then why are we leaving?" Saki asks, confused on why the taller girl walk out the store, not buying the thing she wanted, the shoes that she held tightly before not wanting to let go.

"I don't have the money now to buy it." Miyabi explains as her cheeks turn slightly red.

Saki looks down as she finally realized the situation. I should have brought  more extra money. If only I knew she wants a shoe that expensive... And as her girlfriend... I should have bought it for her... Looking at Miyabi who was still looking down as she sways her body sideways.

"I'm sorry..." Saki finally said finally catching Miyabi's eyes. "I should have known this was coming and I should have brought extra money and-" Saki stops as Miyabi placed her finger on her lips to cease her from saying nonsense.

She shakes her head, "You don't need to say anything about not buying it for me." Smiling to her worried looking girlfriend. Seeing her still not cheering up, Miyabi gently pressed her lips unto the smaller girls lips. Surprised on what the other had done in a public place, Saki's face turned red.

"It's okay. I can buy that when the price goes down. It will take several months but I still have many outdoor shoes to use." Miyabi explains as she holds the other girls hand, trying to let Saki forgive herself.

Still looking down, Saki still couldn't forgive herself but as she looks at the taller girls eyes, she let her know that she finally forgives herself by giving out a heart-melting smile.

That finally over, a voice came calling over from behind. Saki leans over to the right to see who was calling and finds out that it was Risako. "It's Risako..." Saki warned staying calm and cool as usual while Miyabi lets go of her hand before looking back, seeing Risako pulling to a stop beside her.

Catching some air, Risako looks at Miyabi looking a little white as she overdo herself on running. "Sorry I'm late Miya."

"Its okay. Your not late at all." She smiles at the younger girl that made Risako's cheek go red. Noticing the sudden change in color, Saki looks at Miyabi then to Risako. I'm not jealous....

Finally gaining back her composure, Risako finally noticed their Captain standing in front of them. "Captain. I didn't notice you were there. Sorry."

"That's okay Risako." Saki replied and gave out a smile.

"Well then, let's go." Miyabi says to Risako before smiling to Saki. "We're going." She wanted to kiss Saki but she can't as the youngest was here and they haven't talked about spreading the news about them.

"Okay then. Take care you two, and I hope you get the clothes you like Risako." Captain reminded the both of them and waited for them first to take their leave.

"You're not coming with us Captain?" Risako asks, also a form of invitation.

Saki shook her head. "Sorry, I love too but I have a practicum I need to finish."

"What practicum?" Miyabi asks not believing that her girlfriend didn't tell her before.

"A practicum for Community Service. I'll tell you about it later, for now, the two of you enjoy the rest of the day." Saki didn't wait for them to leave as she intended to but she was the first to leave. Leaving Miyabi still confused and disappointed.

Miyabi's gaze followed Saki as she enters a store a few meters away. I don't understand...What is this practicum all about?

Feeling a tug on her shirt, she snapped out of her thoughts as she looks at Risako. "Hmm?"

"Let's go!" Risako replied while tugging Miyabi's arm to the nearest clothing store.


...an hour has passed


"How about here?" Miyabi asks while pointing at the store in front of them.

Risako looks at the clothes that were being shown at the other side of the glass. Please let this be the store... Miyabi pleaded as she waits for the younger to respond. Since they've been gone to every clothing store they passed by but nothing was bought. Finally moving her head away from the glass, she held Miyabi's hand and leads her inside. Yes! Thank you!

Inside, they browsed on every rack they saw until they took out some shirts, dresses, skirts and blouses for Risako to try on. Walking to the changing room, Miyabi waits for Risako in the waiting room, just outside the changing rooms. Scanning the room, she found a beanbag to sit on while she waits. I wonder if what we pick will suit her. Miyabi wondered as she stares at the door where Risako went in.

Minutes has passed and Risako went in and out of the changing room to change into each clothes they picked. Going back in as she started to try the last clothing that hangs beside the mirror.

After a few minutes, the door opens, revealing Risako in a blue-green dress with traces of little white and pink colors around bottom. Miyabi froze as she looks at the girl as she twirls, showing off the dress that seems she likes very much. Her cheeks grew red, liking...no, loving what she was seeing. Can't control herself, she sat there, still frozen with her cheeks red, her mouth, dropping as she looks at the other girl who was still showing off the great looking dress.

Finally contented in showing it off, she now turns to Miyabi. She find it kind of odd that Miyabi was sitting in front of her, not moving and her mouth a little open, but it made her blush when the thought that Miyabi was checking her out came popping in her mind.

"So... How is it?" Risako finally asks, snapping back the frozen girl into reality.

"You look great - I mean beautiful." Miyabi corrected as she was getting sucked into the other girls appeal.

Risako turned red after hearing the other girl’s response, feeling a little bit of change in the room temperature.

Still haven't said a word after her last comment, Risako walks closer to her since she will show off the cute little white and pink colors at the bottom when she lost her balance and fell. As the impact occurred, Risako thought she was going to hurt herself much more but the impact that occurred seemed not right. Opening her eyes, a familiar face was just a few centimeters away from hers. Staring at the older girl in surprise, she thought of standing up but her legs won't move.

Looking down at the face of the fallen angel, Miyabi can't lift her arms and legs as if held in place by an invisible rope. As they stare at each other, each feeling the warmth the other gives. Risako started to slowly leaning forward staring at Miyabi's eyes then to her lips then to her eyes again, trying to tell the other girl what she wants. Miyabi could feel her heart beat faster than before as Risako started to lean forward. Is this a good idea? I have a girlfriend... i shouldn't... but... Risako's face kept getting closer. but...her lips... looks so soft... I... I want to.. Miyabi leaned forward as she pressed her lips unto Risako's. Miyabi wrapped her arms around the younger girl as she pulls her closer.

Is this how it feels when you cheat on your girlfriend? Miyabi asks herself as she enjoys the time her lips were locked unto Risako's. Its wrong... but it feels great... When Risako breaks their kiss, Miyabi wanted more and leaned in again. Not getting a push back, it seems the younger girl still wants to continue. They kept their lips locked in a passionate encounter when the door swings open. The two was startled to a stop and looks at the doorway.

"I... I-I'm sorry for disturbing you..." The voice from the figure on the doorway said. Panic and embarrassment echoing from her voice. The person quickly grabbed the doorknob and closed it behind her.

They couldn't see the face of the person who just ruined the great time they were having because of the lights behind, that made them a little blind. The only thing they know is that it was only an employee because of the color of the clothes the person was wearing.

"That's what we get when we don't lock the door." Risako giggles as she looks at Miyabi.
________________

O_O O_O O_O

Can't believe I wrote something like that...
Comments please!  :heart:
« Last Edit: April 11, 2009, 03:04:56 PM by panickofpain »

Offline kosu

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 2 ~ Desire)
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2009, 07:59:29 PM »
"100,000 yen" wow that's EXPENSIVE :o :o :o .... (around 100yen = USD $1)

Aoki from Music Fighter is correct, Risako can get anyone she wants :o :o :o :o ...... and somehow I can understand coz I can't resist her too .....

captain ........

Offline panickofpain

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 2 ~ Desire)
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2009, 01:01:20 AM »
yeah. expensive... actually that is also P50,000 in the Phillippines. I don't know what kind of shoe in my story but so far, I know that there are shoes here in the Philippines prices ranges at P22,000-P50,000.. I don't know what the difference of those shoes to the cheap ones. Coz when I looked at the shoes of a batch mate of mine whose shoes costs P22,000, I can't see the difference.

I guess I pretty much overdone it... :sweatdrop:
« Last Edit: April 08, 2009, 01:05:08 AM by panickofpain »

Offline Hotaru

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 2 ~ Desire)
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2009, 01:04:10 AM »
Keep going Panick-chan! :D

Offline panickofpain

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 2 ~ Desire)
« Reply #15 on: April 08, 2009, 11:47:57 PM »
To ANYONE who is currently reading/browsing this topic:
I am currently letting this fic be criticized by my friend and as a hint, she caught many mistakes.  To correct these mistakes, I'll be changing some parts, but not entirely the whole fic. I'm just going to rephrase somee parts, add "comma's", and change some parts tense. Its because the tense in my fic isn't constant. (Decided to just put everything I learned in the next chapter. XD)

Being a science girl, in a science course, makes it hard to make fics, one-shots or even stories, because science people writes in a different manner than those who are CA people (Communication Arts). I'm trying my best to make fics that wouldn't be near the descriptions science people use.

So I apologize on how my fics are right now. I still need to pay attention to my writing skills, which needs improvement. As I was saying earlier, I will just redo the mistakes, I won't totally rewrite all the chapters.

My friend told me, my fic is okay, "pero for a science girl, ok ka magsulat," was her distinct words. [translation: but, for a science girl, you're good in writing]

So these days, I'll be busy finishing what my friend told me over at YM last night, and that means, no updates until I fiinish redoing the mistakes. :lol: sorry... XD updates will be soon!
« Last Edit: April 10, 2009, 09:22:03 PM by panickofpain »

Loser87

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 2 ~ Desire)
« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2009, 02:34:35 AM »
okay, there is not enough mirii in the world ;P
So, major props to you for having a miyaxrii scene and stuff

ahaha, i thoroughly did enjoy that cute scene at the end of that chapter.
so good job and do more risakoxmiyabi scenes or have a whole chapter for them lol.

;P

Offline Liben

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 2 ~ Desire)
« Reply #17 on: April 10, 2009, 08:50:52 PM »
Your fic is great!
SakixMiyabi, MiyabixRisako  :)
I agree with kosu. That's too expensive in euros too: 825€  :O
Anyway, great chapter! I want to read the next soon  :grin:

Sonna Rolling Days~!

Offline ziggurat

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 2 ~ Desire)
« Reply #18 on: April 11, 2009, 04:17:54 AM »
I finished reading both chapters earlier, but dunno what to write :P There are too much fluffiness oh god... I can't handle all of it  :lol:

Keep up the chapters flowing!  :heart:

Jab <3 marimari <3 ChrNo~ your spirit shall live forever.. T_T || zgy@last.fm

Offline panickofpain

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Re: Torn in Two (Chapter 2 ~ Desire)
« Reply #19 on: April 11, 2009, 06:48:57 AM »
@loser87: yey!  XD  but I won't be having MiiRii for a while..
@Liben: you're new here! Welcome!  XD  *hug*
@ziggurat: lol thank you for your wonderful comment!   :heart:
___________________________________

I tried something new on this chapter. I actually haven’t written anything since I last updated this fic. Why? I didn’t have any motivation and focus to do it. I don’t know, maybe I was just distracted by so many things.

Btw, if you know faraithi, thank him for having this chapter out. He helped me believe in myself to continue this fic, since I was soon to break down last night.
Nothing to worry about, I will continue this fic until I can’t think of anything more to add. XD
____________________________________
(I haven't read this yet to see mistakes.. will do after posting...)

Chapter 3 – Past

Running out of the dimly lit corridor, Saki stopped on her tracks as Nakai-san, the store manager called her, “Shimizu-san, did you found the shirt the woman was looking for?“ She kept silent for a while, trying to get her voice back, as she looked down, not wanting to meet her manager’s gaze.

“I’m sorry, sir. I-I couldn’t,” she fidgeted as she squeezed her left arm tightly, making the store manager look at her worriedly.

“Are you okay, Shimizu-san?” he asked, trying his best not to hit a nerve, as she looked near to cry. He put her hand on the girls shoulder, trying to make her know he was concerned.

Saki can hear heart crying, as she remembers what happened earlier. She wanted to cry, but the time and place made it difficult, “I-I’m okay, sir. I just can’t find it.” She lied and it seems he didn’t buy it.

A girl came out of the same corridor, holding the shirt Saki was assigned to get. She walked to the woman who was done waiting, and was about to complain, until she handed it to her. The woman smiled at the girl, thanking her before paying at the cashier. The girl was about to attend the needs of another customer when, she was called by their manager.

“Murakami-san!” he called and the girl came forward.

“Hai?” she asked, her gaze falling on Saki, who was beside her. Did something happen?

“Murakami-san, please escort Shimizu-san to the back and let her rest for a while,” she nodded and held Saki’s hand, leading her to the back room, where they were allowed to rest.

Closing the door behind her, Megumi walked towards the girl she escorted. She was about to speak when, she heard soft weeping sounds from the girl in front of her. “Saki-chan,” she called, but it looked like the other girl didn’t hear her.

“Saki-chan,” she called once again, but the other didn’t move. She only knew one thing that can at least help Saki for now. She started to reach out for her but pulls away after hesitating.
She didn’t want to hear Saki cry, she made this promise to herself that when she and Saki meet again, she didn’t want to hear her cry, or rather, she didn’t want her to cry. Maybe its because of what she did to her before, I made her wait… I made her trust me… I let her take care of me… I agreed to love her as she loved me… she started balling up her fists, trying to shake off the past memory, she took long to forget. But in the end… I wasted all her efforts… I… I let her fall… I chose this guy over her… She cried… for so long, she cried because of me…

She looked at the crying girl, still trying not to go deeper on her past memory, she tried to reach for Saki again, as she finally touched her, holding her close. The other girl didn’t resist, but buried her face on the others arms and continued to cry.

Megumi’s heart kept beating fast, as she held the vulnerable girl in her arms, holding her tighter. What could have made her cry like this again? she wanted to ask, but was scared to, knowing that she once made her cry like this. How nostalgic…

The weeping didn’t stop, but she felt the other girl move and gave her space, still wrapping her arms around her. “Megu…” the girl looked up to her, her eyes looking like it was beaten up by Maimi, but the feelings of sadness and pain revealing in those hollow eyes.

The girl finally opened up, revealing what she was keeping inside, as she let Megumi hold her, like old times.

***

Their work for the day is finished. They walked out the door, as they finished saying their thanks.

”It’s great we finally finished the practicum this early,” Megumi said, breaking the silence between the two of them.

The other girl slowly nodded, “I didn’t expect we would finish the assigned time in just a day. I’m gonna miss working in that store.”

Megumi couldn’t help but smile when she Saki finally let out a smile, “I wonder if I can still help out tomorrow,” Saki turned to Megumi, seeing her smiling genuinely at her, she pulled back her gaze in front, as her face turned slightly red.

“Nakai-san told me, in the next three days, he needed someone to help him with the store. He was going to give a sale and there won’t be a doubt that many people would come and fill up the store.” Megumi looked up, wondering what Nakai-san’s  store would look like when people come barging in and fight for the clothes. She smiled at the thought but Saki stopped a few meters back, staring at a paper, glued to the wall.

“You go ahead Megu, I need to go talk to Nakai-san again.” Saki explained, before running off to the clothing store again.

She thought of running after her but instead, she looked at the piece of paper she was looking at before.

“In need of help for my 3 day sale. Only ages 17-25 can apply. 35,000 Yen a day.” Megumi read, letting her lower jaw fall a little, “35,000 Yen a day? That’s way too much, wait…” She looked at the bottom of the paper and found out why the pay is that huge, “So that’s why, he’ll only be hiring two people.”

So, Saki’s still wants to buy the shoes Miyabi wanted… Even if she saw what happened earlier… She’ll even work for three days just to get the money to buy it. What a great girlfriend… Megumi thought as she gave out a smirk.

***

Letting herself fall on her bed, Saki stared at the ceiling, thinking that after three days, she’ll be able to buy Miyabi the shoes she want. Why does she need shoes that expensive? She let out a sigh, As long as she’s happy with it, and that’s fine with me.[/b]

She kept silent until she felt her side ache. She sat up, and jumped off of bed as she saw who poked her.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, while still trying to overcome the shock she just got.

“Why? Is it forbidden for me to visit my girlfriend?” Miyabi asked back, giving out a pout.

Seeing her girlfriend pouting, she composed herself and took hold of her hand, pulling Miyabi into a deep, passionate kiss. She held her lips locked with hers for a while until Miyabi pulled herself away.

“Have you eaten dinner?” Saki asked, while fixing the bed and slid herself under the covers.

“Yes, you’re mom really knows how to cook.” She answered, as she followed Saki under the covers.

As she was already comfortable, snuggling beside the small figure of her girlfriend, Saki leaned in to kiss her, but pulled away after a while. As they both stared at each other, Miyabi wraps her arms around Saki’s neck and pulled her down, resulting on another making out session.

Saki tried to pull away again, but Miyabi held her still, making her kiss deeper, as she slid her tongue inside the others mouth.

Saki froze for a second, wondering what made Miyabi kiss her like this. She didn’t mind having this but it was just new, they haven’t done this before.

Not holding back any longer, she started to return Miyabi’s intense kiss, as she started to kiss her deeper, more passionately but torrid. She started to go down, kissing Miyabi’s neck, as Miyabi whispered her name. She took hold of Miyabi’s thigh and strokes it as she returned to Miyabi’s lips, burning themselves from their own heat for the rest of the night.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2009, 03:07:49 PM by panickofpain »

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