The Text That Got Back My Bond with My Mother
Translated by mammothb
I passed the AKB audition when I was in year 6 of elementary school. During that time, I was close to being a shut-in. In school, I was the "ghost" in class, and when I return home, I immediately watch anime on my computer and draw various illustrations, I was fully into the 2D world. Even when we are having meals together as a family, I didn't talk to them...... I continued living this way for 2 years. I also knew of AKB through the net. At first my mother disapproved of me joining showbiz, but after realizing that this could make me become more outdoorish and active, she approved of my decision in the end.
After joining AKB, my mother started doing something new, texting with cellphone. It's hard to talk on the phone during work, and first of all I am not really good with chatting on the phone. To me, texting is better. That's why my mother started texting, in order to make up for all the lost chances of conversion with me during that 2 years...... I would text my mother more than 10 times a day, thanks to that, my mother and I were able to communicated with each other again, until just a few days ago......
I wrote on my blog that my mother was practicing dancing. That caused an unexpected quarrel between me and my mother...... My mother texted me, "I'm so scared of Mayu's blog that I dare not look at it anymore." I wrote it as a joke, thinking that it would be a good topic for fans to talk about. I snapped, why did my mother have to be so angry? After removing that post from my blog, I texted her back, "I've already removed it, you happy now?" After that, there were several texts and calls from my mother, but I ignored all of them...... They became bothersome. What I was feeling then couldn't be easily explained in just a couple of words through texts or calls. So I didn't know how to reply her texts. When I saw the text saying, "When are you coming back?" I became very depressed. I replied, "I'm staying over at Harugon's(Nakagawa Haruka) house." and switched off my phone. In the end, I ended up staying over at Harugon's house.
The next day's morning, as I'm bad at waking up, I waited for my mother to burst into the room to wake me up, but my mother wasn't around. I felt a little lonely...... Thinking about it, there were times when I quarreled with my mother and left the house feeling irritated. But when I board the train, I received a text from my mother. I opened up that text. It said, "Sorry for being angry with you just now. I thought that you might miss your train, so I just snapped. I understand that your job is tough. All the best for today!" I'm sure she wrote that so that I could be able to adjust my feelings during the train ride. Thanks to that, I was able to carry out my work for that day with good mood. Though I wanted to rebel, but being alone made want to read my mother's text. After thinking really hard for my sake, these words resounded in my heart. Even more ernest than normal conversation, these words warmed my heart. Even so I ran away from home and sleepover outside...... Thinking about how worried my mother could have been makes my heart ache.
I want to apologize to my mother. And I want to tell her that I'll be returning home immediately after work today. But as I'm not really good with making phone calls, so I shall think hard about the words I want to say and type out the text. But I've already decided what the last sentence will be. "Thank you for always sending these texts filled with kindness."
http://melosnomichi.blogspot.com/2011/12/because-you-were-there-for-me-watanabe.html