Before anything else, i deeply want to Thank you all for supporting my fanfic...
To all those who pressed the thank you button, and to all those who commented... To the silent readers... Thank you so much!
I don't know how to express all the gratitude I felt towards your warm response over this craziness of mine... thank you.
@
riderchick - OMG!!!!!! Sparks Will Fly (which i am always looking forward to) author has appreciated my fic! I'm so honored!!!
@
hyoyoung - my, thank you so much!
@
mae - yey! thank you so much for always looking forward to this one.. well, the last 3 chapters are poster below! yey!
@
Tam_atsu - yup. They kissed. That's how bold my nyannyan is!
@
BbSis - I believed that I ended this happily...
well yeah... so here's the last 3 chapters as promised.
***************************************************************************************************************************
CHAPTER 24
- It Was That Feeling -
--
++[Yuko’s POV]++
“Yuko, have you reached Haruna yet?” Takamina asked me for the third time today.
“I’m sorry, her phone is out of reach.”
“Are you sure you two didn’t get into a fight back in Paris? She hasn’t gone to rehearsals since you came back from your vacation.” She sighed.
“No we didn’t. We actually had a good time.”
When we came back from Paris, I send her home and kissed each other good night before going back to my apartment. I remember her telling me to take care of my health and strive to live before sharing another kiss. The day after that, we could only exchange messages since my schedule is too heavy, and she said hers is as loaded as well. I didn’t know that she hasn’t been attending rehearsals. I didn’t know anything. The last message I received from her was just yesterday afternoon after lunch, telling me that she misses me and giving me good luck on my work. After that, there’s none. I didn’t try reaching her since I thought that she’s really busy. It was a mistake.
“Oh~ I just receive a message from her. She said she’s in a shoot and won’t be back for long so we should quit worrying.” Takamina interrupted my thoughts.
That’s quite a relief but something about it doesn’t feel right at all. She should’ve told me about it. But there’s no helping it. I’ll just give her a kiss when she came back!
--
++[Yuko’s POV]++
It’s been a week since then, and still no words from her. This worried heart of mine can’t help but feel so distraught. Were all the memories we had in Paris the last one? It somehow feels like a dream.
As I pulled the drawer of my cabinet, the tingling sound of my bundled keys brings my thoughts back to earth. Ah~ this key, NyanNyan gave it to me before she supposedly left to Paris without me. I wasn’t able to give this back to her since then. I didn’t notice myself carrying this around with me the whole time. Will it be alright if I go there and intrude?
--
++[Yuko’s POV]++
I sent her a message hoping that she’s home to see meat this door, but looks like she’s really out of town, or country maybe. I remember her handing me this key saying that when I missed her, I can come to this house. I never knew I would.
My feet make its way in as my fingers slides to every wall that leads me to her room. The lights remained off as I chose not to bother myself from opening it, she’s not there anyway. I missed her. Where are you NyanNyan? Your bed is empty, it misses you, just like how my heart wanted your warmth.
I threw myself onto her bed and there her scent lingers, giving me much more heartache than what I’m feeling right now. Where is she? Damn it, where are you NyanNyan? At least show me something to hold on to aside from those memories we had in Paris. Show me, and tell me that there’s something more to it. How can I continue strive to live my life if you’re not here beside me? What was Paris all about then? Damn, questions are piling up.
“Ara~ what is this?” I murmured as my hands got a hold of something underneath her pillow. Oh, these small vessels for her vita- What? These are pain killers! Do I happen to left one of mine in here? No, I can’t be wrong. This is hers.
My heart worries more. Feels like those unknown something-is-not-right feelings that is poking me from time to time suddenly grows larger. Damn it NyanNyan! I should’ve asked you about it. Damn it!!!! Now I’m this distressed. This place doesn’t console me at all. It’s making my heart grow fonder.
--
“Good evening Oshima-san” the lady on the elevator greeted.
“Good evening ma’am” Yuko greeted back with a smile.
“I live two rooms away from your friend. Is Kojima-san out of the Kanto hospital?”
“Eh?” Yuko reacted in surprise.
“I saw you brought her home two weeks ago. She was rushed to the hospital that day as well, poor child” The lady continued.
“Y-y-yeah…” the short girl stuttered.
“Well, tell her I said hi and take care of herself, and you too.” The woman said and got out of the elevator leaving Yuko speechless. “You kids shouldn’t be working beyond what your bodies could handle. You two are still young…” the lady murmured.
“Th-thank you so much!” Yuko exclaimed bowing.
--
++[Yuko’s POV]++
What? Hospital? Sheesh!! What is this feeling? My eyes… My eyes are watering on its own. Damn it! Why am I crying? And why can’t I stop my legs from running? Damn it!! Aaaargh! Somebody tell me to calm down! Somebody.
My legs brought me to this hospital. Is she still here? NyanNyan…
“Yuko-chan?” a voice I heard from a woman in front of me. My eyes are watering that I can’t see clearly who she was. I felt a hug. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you… I hope you’ll forgive her.”
It was her mom. I don’t know what’s happening but my eyes that are brimming with tears can seem to get a hold of it. It was like I knew what it was that I can’t help myself from crying.
“…and thank you for making her happy.”
--
++[Yuko’s POV]++
Her hands are cold. Just like many of the times that I was holding her. I knew it wasn’t normal but I chose to ignore it. She was sleeping deeply. Her bangs that almost cover her eyes are damp, just like many of the times that we’re together. I brushed it to the side to see her sleeping face.
“You’re still so beautiful even when you’re sick…” I murmured looking at her, warming her hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I gently stroked her hand, hoping it would reach her dreams, I’m here.
“Why are you crying? Yuuchan…” her voice rings my thoughts and felt a squeeze on my hand.
“NyanNyan…” tears poured heavily from my eyes, I can’t utter any more words.
“Are you mad? I’m sorry…” she looked at me with her gentle eyes. “Come here…”
I grabbed the seat and pushed my face closer to hers.
“Don’t cry. I’ll be fine…” Her free hand, which is as cold as the other one, wiped my tears away. It cupped my face, giving me a feeling that is strangely warming my disarrayed heart. “I’m strong you know…”
----- FLASHBACK -----
"In her condition right now, I can't believe she was still able to go to Paris. During this stage, her headaches must be giving her a hard time to even stand up, specially during the morning and bed time." the doctor explained.
I can't say a thing. During those times, she was all locked up in the bathroom. I thought she was just taking her time bathing. I was so... clueless... Getting mad at her for letting me sleep while she's inside the bath... What have I done? I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
"It's okay Yuko-chan... she just didn't want you to worry." Her mother comforted me as she wiped away the tears that are now freed from my eyes. "You don't have to feel guilty. It was her wish after all... Please forgive her selfishness..."
--- END OF FLASHBACK ----
Her eyes that are smiling gently at me, it literally makes me cry. It was smiling but it felt so sad. It was as if she's saying a lot of things to me in her head, asking me forgiveness and telling me how sorry she was. I know she was never good with words, she never were but she's trying.
"I know..." I replied. Even the doctors said that.
"Please don't cry... Yuuchan..." she whispered as she constantly grazed off the tears from my cheeks. "I'll be fine..."
I just nodded a reply, lost for words. Why, of all the time that I needed my words, it won't come out. "I- I- Why didn't you tell me?"
"Hmm? Then, why didn't you tell me you're sick too?" she asked me with a smile. "I guess my reason is the same as yours, Yuuchan..."
"But, you already know mine. Why didn't you tell me then?"
"I discovered yours by accident. You didn't tell me, and I know you won't whatever happens. You should know the answer why."
I sighed. She's right. "Then, now, you will tell me when you're in pain. Okay?"
She looked at me innocently, tilting her head sidewards.
"Nyannyan? Don't give me that look!"
She smiled.
"C'mon, say yes. You will tell me if you're in pain from now on right?"
"Hmm, I am right now. My head hurts."
"Geez~~ seriously?" I got a nod in reply. I placed my hand on her head feeling it cold and damp. It's that condition I felt in her every time this past months, feeling it more on our trip to Paris. "My~ you're a good actress NyanNyan... does it really hurt?"
"Un! Just not as painful as the other time though. I can manage."
I look at her with a smile and kissed her forehead gently. "There..."
"Ara~ My lips hurts too~~" she mumbled.
"Eh?!"
She nodded. "Chuu~?"
"Eh?"
"Chuu?"
"N-no.."
"But it hurts too..."
"Geez~~ What's wrong with you?"
"But you told me to tell you where it hurts..." she pouted.
"I told you to tell me if you're in pain, not where it hurts."
"But I am in pain, here..." fingers pointing on her lips.
I gave her a peck on the cheek and saw her smile.
"I knew it..." she mumbled.
"Knew what?!"
"You we're only teasing me. All those times, you were only teasing, pretending you wanted to kiss me badly, aren't you?"
"No way~~ I really want to kiss you...badly..."
"eh... so you chose to miss all those chance that I gave you for not resisting?"
"..eh? those are chances?"
Giggling sounds emerges from her mouth. "Resistance is futile on you.. or you can say, I want it too.." She laughed.
"Cruel~ So evil~"
"I am?"
"You're always cruel~"
"I am not.. That's just how it is..."
--
She walks silently towards nowhere. Her eyes are filled with emptiness as her thoughts wanders around the moments they had together. Air gathers up as she breathe deeply in the dark, looking somewhere far away from reality.
"I hate you... I hate you for not being honest with me..." she uttered softly, talking to herself. "I thought... at last, everything we had... we have... is finally official, finally... but..."
Her eyes are holding the tears, sniffing air to keep everything in.
"And for telling me to keep on living knowing you won't be there beside me anymore... I hate you." Tears started to build more on the sides of her eyes. "I hate you... I hate you... I hate you..." she uttered in soft sobbing voice. "Why NyanNyan? Why is your love always so cruel?"
Walking stops near a bridge. Air pushes her hair gently, as her eyes continue to stare onto nowhere. Deep inside, her muscles are troubled by questions she herself know the answer. It was because she know she only cares. It's because she knows she doesn't want to trouble anyone. She knows because she arrived in the same conclusion. It was a mixed feeling.
----- FLASHBACK -----
"NyanNyan, I think we should tell them..."
"I am not really into that idea but if Yuuchan wants it, I'll do it..." she replied.
"We should tell them... They too deserve to know."
"… but, why now? Is it because of me?"
I wasn't able to reply. I don't want them to know I'm sick, but I want them to know that NyanNyan is. They are her friends too. Is that too selfish of me? I don't know what to do.
"Yuuchan, its okay... If you don't want them to know you are, then don't."
"But I want them to know that you are. They are your friends too..."
"They are your friends as well..."
"Yes, but..."
"It's okay... we can let them know about me now since you already know." she sighed.
I can feel her pain of letting me know what is going on, because I did feel the same. The difference is, I doubted her feelings and insisted that it was because of pity. The whole world can know, but not the one you treasure the most, not her.
I held her hands and kissed her eyes. "You know... that I love you right?"
"Hmmm? Yuuchan?"
"You know it, right?"
"You don't have to tell me. I am well aware of it.." She smiled at me and brushed my hair to tuck onto my right ear. "And I... I... I hope my feelings were transparent to you too..."
----- END OF FLASHBACK -----
For Yuko, everything suddenly felt so unreal. When her heart decides to slip away, the love of her life chased her to show her true feelings, and then they became happy. They were so happy that she forgot the real reason why she chose to distance herself. Haruna accepted her shallow stupid reasons that cover up the truth behind everything, not hearing even a single word of question. And when the reason to continue aiming for life appeared, it was shattered by another ending.
"So that's the meaning of living with my dreams in mind and not for you huh?" She sighed.
--
-
.
######################################## AUTHOR'S NOTE #######################################
I have two more chapters to go! This is the reason why the previous chapter can be considered as the last one.. Because life is cruel...
Thanks for reading!!
m(_ _)m