Please Show Me What I'm Looking For
Chapter 1 – Sinking Friendships.Mariko seemed like she had been waiting a while. She was on her second cup of coffee lost in her thoughts of what had happen. Of all the AKB48 members to keep waiting, Mariko was probably the best. She was sharp and could speak her own mind, however she was also patcient and understanding.
DINGA small girl entered the quiet cafe, her face hidden underneath a hood and hands in her hoodie to keep warm. Japans weather had not been nice as it decided to bless the Japanese with harsh temperatures of below negative 10.
“Hey. Gomen, I’m a little late.” The small girl sat down in front of Mariko, she smiled at the waitress. “Just tea.” Mariko, pulled from her thoughts, smiled at the younger girl.
“Is it me, or are you getting shorter?” This was Mariko's version of a greeting.
The latter frowned at the tease made at her height. She was very sensitve when it came to her height. Sure she was smaller than most girls but that didnt stop her from being who she was. “Well, is it me or do you seem a bit meaner?”
Mariko gave out a small chuckle before noting, “Takamina, you need to eat more.”
Takahashi Minami looked down at herself. She was a little skinnier than usual but hardly worth noticing. “What do you mean?”
“Every time we’ve had lunch for the past three weeks, you’ve only had tea.”
Minami shrugged. “I eat a lot before I get her, trust me.”
Mariko frowned and sighed. She was losing her Takamina, she could feel it. “...Hmm, if you say so...Taka-chibi.”
“Hey!”
Mariko smilled and held up her hands in surrender. “Well, I am just saying. No wonder you dont grow, you dont eat properly.” The younger girl sneered at Mariko and clicked her tongue.
“Mhmpf,” Minami sipped her tea, but not before sticking her tounge out at Mariko. They had always been close, even before debuting. To Minami, Mariko was a mother figure that she wasnt able to have once she moved away from her hometown. She told Mariko everything, and Mariko did the same.
“Hey, how is you album—” Mariko began and Minami squinted at her, her headache coming back with a dedicated vengeance. Mariko recognized her shift in mood immediately. “Or not…”
Minami shook her head. “Sorry. Headache. Speaking of album, what.”
“How close are you to finishing yours? I heard the title of the lead single was to be Jane Doe?”
Minami sipped her coffee leisurely to give herself some time to think of a good way to say it. “I would say, I am maybe, less than half finished...and yeah,” Minami gave out a chuckle before raising her eyebrows. “Pretty catchy isnt it?”
Mariko smilled, however the taller girl questioned the younger girl. “You got that right. I just cant wait to hear it now, but...less than half?”
“Maybe closer to—”
“Well, how much of it have you—”
“I only have that one song done...” Minami lead on as she looked at her coffee like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
Mariko gave a sad smile. She knew Minami was a hadworking girl, but because of the “incident” that happened, Minami seemed to have given up on many things.
“Takamina, you are practically deflating before my very eyes... come back, my Minami.” The taller girl gave an inward sigh at her thoughts and put both her hands on the table, fingers spread with pensive intention. “The other thing I wanted to talk to you about...You haven’t returned any of Yuko’s texts or calls, so I’m going to ask on her behalf—”
“Texts? Calls?” Minami frowned. “Gomen, I literally just woke up.”
“We both expected that much. Anyway, since she has a radio interview with you tonight, she was wondering if you’d carpool with her over to Haruna’s?” Mariko held the sides of her coffee mug with both her hands, warming herself in the process.
“Yeah, sure,” Minami said quickly. She had forgotten that her and Yuko were going to be guests on a radio show. She scratched the back of her neck thoughtfully. “Why are we meeting up at Haruna’s, though?”
Mariko paused, rolled her eyes, and exhaled impatiently. “Chibi you really don’t check your text messages, do you?”
“I do,” she lied defensively. It was taxing, really. She had over one hundred unread messages. She tried to prioritize them, but most times that meant only reading the ones from her manager. “And hey! Keep my height out of this.” Minami said in a jokingly matter.
“The least you could do is check some of the girls messages,” Mariko said. “If you did, then you would be aware that...” Mariko hesitated, she wasn’t so sure she should be saying her name in front of Minami. Out of all the members Mariko knew first hand just how the girls name hurted Minami like a bullet going through flesh. “Aware that...shes back.”
Losing colour to her face, Minami felt suddenly as though she had been kicked. Kicked in the face. Hard. She found it hard to breathe, and all of a sudden...she felt really tired. Like the world had drainded her for everything she had. Mariko looked at the latter with something resembling pity as she held the smaller girls hands.
There was a moment of silence before Minami took a deep shaky breath. “I-I was...not aware.” Minami said. Her tongue felt numb.
“Her flight landed this morning.” Mariko’s tone had softened. Minami didnt dare to look at her. She hated that look everyone gave her when they saw her. It was hard for Minami to look at Mariko when the other girls expression was filled with sickening sympathy and pity. “So Haruna’s having us over for dinner tonight.”
“I-I dont know Mariko, I’ve been busy” Minami said quietly. “I…”
“I know,” Mariko said softly. “You dont have to go, but just make the effort if you can. It would be nice having the gang be okay with each other again.”
The pounding in Minamis head suddenly intensified to the point where she felt as though she might be sick. It prickled all over her body, the immediate feeling of wanting to be back in that warm bed, eight floors up, pressed against any girl or anyone, anyone that would block out this feeling. This feeling of being left behind...alone.
She steeled herself and inhaled. It took all her willpower to not exhale in a rush of exhausted tension. “Okay,” she said briskly. “I’ll try.”
Mariko looked at Mianmi for a long moment. The smaller girl wondered what she must have looked like from the outside looking in. “Okay.” That was all Mariko said.
“Okay,” Minami agreed.
Mariko gave a deep sigh as it became silent again. Mariko genuinely cared for the smaller girl and if it wasnt for her friendship with the other girl she would’ve killed her for hurting her Minami like she did. “Minami, how are you feeling?”
The latter didnt replay right away, instead she stared at her tea and closed her eyes, feeling the heat radiating from her tea. Moments later she looked at Mariko and gave a bitter smile. “Have you ever laid on your bed at night...and cried because you’re not good enough? Counted all your flaws and felt worse about yourself? But it gets worse, when its four in the morning and I’m left alone with walls. They whisper everything they’ve ever known, ever single little flaw I hold...”
“...Minami...”
The small girl stood abruptly, throwing down enough money to cover her tea and Mariko’s coffee. “It’s on me. I gotta run.”
Mariko gave a gentle smile as she sat back. “Of course, be safe” Mariko said quietly.
Minami looked out the window for a moment, watching snowflakes fall from the sky, and then smiled tightly at her old friend. “See you.”
After the younger girl had left, Mariko let out a breath that she seemed to be holding,
“I saw them Minami, I saw the scars on your wrists.”-----
well, haha. It been a while, almost a year I believe. GOMEN! I've been so busy with school, my job, and moving places! I already have 3 chapters written down for this fiction, so it will be up as soon as I revise them! Thank you guys for sticking with me! And thank you to all my lovely readers out there!
Topic: Please Show Me What I'm Looking For (Atsumina & Others) Chapter 2 (Read 6433 times)