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Author Topic: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Cancelled (2014.02.19)  (Read 10673 times)

Offline kurumi

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Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Cancelled (2014.02.19)
« on: August 16, 2013, 03:13:05 PM »
Crossroads
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3A
Chapter 3B
Chapter 4

(I'll only be able to come up with apt chapter names upon completion of this story.)

This is the first fanfic I have ever attempted to write in my entire life and I post with trepidation. Since joining this forum 4 months ago, I have been reading religiously, and had the sudden desire to write a Yuko x Jurina story sometime last week. The stories here have truly been inspiring.

Would also like to take this opportunity to thank Hitobo and seigus for encouraging me to try my hand at writing. As I have probably mentioned before, I am not a creative person nor do I have extremely thorough knowledge about AKB48; I just like to write, albeit very slowly.

At this point in time, I lack the confidence to promise that I will see this to the very end, but I will try my best.

Crossroads - Prologue

Present Day

     Yuko heaved a deep sigh as she stared at the photograph of Takamina, Nyan Nyan and Mayuyu. Her three best friends were sitting at the usual spot at their favourite café in Odaiba, which overlooked the Rainbow Bridge suspended across Tokyo Bay. The girls had tagged Yuko in the picture and had written, “We miss you! Wish you were here!” The message made her smile for a brief moment. She had fond memories of dining al fresco in that exact spot with that bunch, and the idle banter that usually went on between them.
     Sometimes she wasn’t sure whether to like or hate Facebook. While it certainly made it a lot easier for her to remain connected with family and friends back in Japan, the social networking service often caused her to feel homesick. Pictures of Japanese cuisine flooded her newsfeed daily, and that drove her insane. Not to mention seeing her friends constantly out and about engaged in interesting activities.
     Little had she thought, that at thirty, she would be stuck in the middle of nowhere in some small town in Canada. Having to adjust to a rural environment was proving to be hard, especially considering she had spent most of her life growing up in a large metropolitan area. Three years ago, she had moved to Canada in order to get married to Seiji, her then boyfriend. So far, married life was not at all like what she had imagined, and was in fact, rather dull.
     Shaking her head to dismiss negative thoughts, Yuko continued to scroll down her feed and stopped at a picture of a mother and child putting together a puzzle. It appeared that Jurina’s daughter had turned two and that she would be expecting a second child soon. The little girl was starting to resemble her mother, and it was endearing to see Jurina in miniature form.
     My-my, how time flies. It seems like it was only yesterday that we first met.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2014, 02:29:26 AM by kurumi »

Offline rochilu

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Prologue (2013.08.16)
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2013, 11:34:41 PM »
aah, it's the first JuriYuu that i read!
Kawaii ~ Jurina with a child :3 sure she is adorable! :B hope you can make it to the end here!
ganbatte! :3

Offline kurumi

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 1 (2013.08.17)
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2013, 01:08:52 PM »
@rochilu: Thank you for your kind words! I've been searching the forum for a JuriYuu story, and was surprised as it appears like no one has written one yet. While it may seem like a very unnatural pairing, it's something I just wanted done. You could say it was what spurred me on to even try writing.

I write VERY slowly. To be honest, Chapter 2 hasn't even materialised in my head yet, so it might be a while before you see another update. I hope I can make it to the end too! Ganbarimasu!

Crossroads - Chapter 1

Spring 2006

     Yuko peered at the cherry blossom trees in the darkness and saw that the buds were beginning to swell a little. Although it was only a year ago that she and Seiji had sat here at Inokashira Park for cherry blossom viewing, it somehow seemed like a distant memory.
     She had first met Seiji during her second year at university. He was studying Business Management, and she, English Literature. There was nothing particularly exciting about their encounter. A mutual friend had introduced them to each other, and things progressed more or less naturally from there.
     The sole life-changing event occurred during their final year. Seiji managed to secure a position at the corporation of his dreams, on the condition that he went to work at its Canadian branch office for four years. Yuko, having finally gotten accepted into the Education Department at Kichijoji Public Library, found herself torn between following Seiji to Canada, and accepting the local job offer. In the end, not wanting her painstaking job-hunting efforts to be for nought, she decided to remain in Japan. Seiji agreed to come back for her in four years. He left Japan shortly after the last cherry blossoms fell to the ground.
     Yuko got up from the park bench and decided to head home. She was glad that she had managed to find an apartment this close to the park, and at the same time within walking distance to her workplace.
     I should let Seiji know that the sakura are about to bloom.
     She pulled out her phone and noticed a bunch of unread emails sitting in her inbox. Upon closer inspection, she saw that one of the messages was from a Jurina Matsui.
     Why does that name sound familiar?

====================================================
Oshima-san,
     I hope this email finds you well. This must seem out of the blue, and I apologise for the abrupt message. I wonder if you still remember me? Back in high school, we became acquainted on an English learning forum online, and frequently emailed each other in English. It certainly has been a while, hasn’t it?
     It turns out that I’ve been accepted by Skymark Airlines to become a flight attendant, and will be moving from Kasugai City to Tokyo next month. Although I’ll be living with other attendants in the company’s dormitory, I’m still feeling very nervous, as it will be my first time living alone. Also, I don’t know anyone in Tokyo.
     That’s when I remembered you and how you used to tell me about all the exciting things that went on in Tokyo. I was wondering if you would like to meet up – only if you want to, of course. It would be great to have at least one friend there.
     Actually, I’m not even sure if you still check this email account… but am hoping for the best!
Matsui Jurina

====================================================

     It all came back. Yuko recalled her old pen friend. If her memory served her correctly, Jurina was a year younger and had similar interests in English books and movies. Back then they used to frequently write to each other without reservation, and topics had ranged from raving about their latest obsessions, to simply retelling events that happened at school.
     Even though her relationship with Seiji was going on smoothly, his intensive training schedule at work, as well as the time difference, had made it difficult for them to talk of late. Furthermore, she hardly had the opportunity to make new friends these days as most of her time was spent at work with colleagues.
     It isn’t every day that two people's paths cross again. Sure, why not.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2013, 12:47:24 AM by kurumi »

Offline LoyalFlutist

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 1 (2013.08.17)
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2013, 10:18:11 PM »
Very interesting! I'm instantly hooked with your writing style and the unusual pairing of both Jurina and Yuko, haha. I sense that this will be one fiction I will most likely follow. :cathappy:

So I see that Yuko and Jurina haven't technically been very close friends. More like they've only known each other through their name and an online English forum. But seeing as how the two have grown older and gotten jobs, it looks like they'll have a chance to meet up with each other! :cathappy: I wonder how they'll meet up with each other? And how will it go for the two girls? :cathappy:

Though I'm new to this sort of pairing (like SaeYui from another fiction), this might as well make me add more shipments to my shipping parchment, LOL. I'm looking forward to more of your work and updates on this fiction! Take as much time as you need to deliver the best out to us~ :deco:

Offline sakura_drop_

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 1 (2013.08.17)
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2013, 10:33:31 PM »
This really perked up my interest~

As Yuko-sama oshi I really like how you portrayed ehr here so far~

And I am being known for my weird and unusual pairings (in my blog I also have a JuriYuu OS >_< ) I of course enjoy this pairing a lot!!

I am waiting for your next chapter, ganbatte!!  :)
"人間みんな変態だから" - 古川愛李, SKE48 新高柳チームKII 「シアターの女神」千秋楽公演, 2014.04.18 <"Because all people are perverts." - Furukawa Airi, SKE48 New Takayanagi Team KII [Theater no Megami] Last Stage, 2014.04.18>

My Blog: J-Pop and K-Pop Abode   The list of my fics in JPH!P: My fics   My fics can be found here also: AKBlasphemy48   Let's have fun here: Acchan48   My home and family: United Nations Society of Adorkable Writers



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Offline rochilu

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 1 (2013.08.17)
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2013, 10:41:18 PM »
ahh, the start is good. So they were like cyberfriends (?
i'll be waiting for the next chapter, plese don't take too much time :c

Offline Hitobo

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 1 (2013.08.17)
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2013, 02:21:31 AM »
Well done!  This is a great beginning to what is likely the groundbreaking fan fiction for this pairing.

In just this small amount shared you've proven your ability to construct a balanced story.  You've provided the perfect amount of details necessary for the reader to indulge in the story without being overwhelmed by excess imagery and information.  The characters are easy to relate to and believably human.  I look forward to seeing your progress (and of course, that of the characters) as the story continues.
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Non-AKB Yuri Fan Fiction

Offline Shinoki

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 1 (2013.08.17)
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2013, 03:15:41 AM »
...well, didn't comment on the prologue... <- just so you know~ I might be going onto silent reader status for a bit (not commenting)

Yeah... JuriYuu... hehe...
oh... they met on an online english... forum... hrm... hrm...
yups~ looking forward to more (though take your time, as long as you want)

Offline kurumi

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 1 (2013.08.17)
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2013, 05:20:05 AM »
First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone for taking the time to read my debut fiction. I had intended to keep this extremely low key, so you can imagine my surprise when I came back to 5 whole comments!

@LoyalFlutist: Interesting that you say that because I am currently on a mission to discover what is my writing style. I am, for the most part, a non-fiction writer. I hope that you will follow my story and continue to provide such valuable feedback! (Also, I appreciate your patience as I am the sort of person who randomly gets hit by writing moods.)

@sakura_drop_: I have read some stories by both LoyalFlutist and you, and do remember enjoying them. It's good that you think out of the box! Personally, JuriYuu has always existed in my mind (especially after Team K's "So Long!" drama), so I wish to convince everyone else that this pairing isn't weird.

@rochilu: I will try to start on Chapter 2 soon, but foresee some technical issues as I will be changing Internet service providers next month… >_< P.S. I like Heimlich too.

@Hitobo: I would be lying if I said I didn't repeatedly check the forum over the weekend anticipating your response. Had I not discovered Portraits, I probably wouldn't have stuck around here for long.

My pet peeve is superfluous language. It makes me want to grab my hair and scream, "What is the point⁈ What are you trying to say?" I guess this has influenced my writing somewhat, resulting in very compact sentences. I did try my best, however, to be more descriptive than usual. Additionally, I did do a fair bit of research on Facebook, Wikipedia and Google Maps, which likely contributed to the believability of this tale.

Likewise, I look forward to your future commentaries as they are most definitely assisting my journey of self-discovery.

@Shinoki: Yes, you never know! Your soulmate may just be right here on JPHiP.com! (LOL) I don't mind silence at all, but please do let me know if you feel there is an area in which I could improve.

To everyone: Korekaramo yoroshiku onegaishimasu. m(_ _)m
« Last Edit: August 19, 2013, 05:38:24 PM by kurumi »

Offline Yuki88

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 1 (2013.08.17)
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2013, 08:45:56 PM »
You know what, writing must have been your hidden talent you had never knew before. I'm not good at explaining but I like the way you describe things. :D
And JuriYuu! In my mind, they feel like a friendly rival between the senior and junior hehe. Interesting to see how this story will go on.

Can't wait for the next update ;3
Anai Chihiro is my one and only.


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Offline cisda83

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 1 (2013.08.17)
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2013, 04:11:08 AM »
Erm... story about Yuu and Jurina...

Interesting start of the story...

Can't wait to see what's going to happen next?

Thank you

 :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs

Offline kurumi

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 2 (2013.08.21)
« Reply #11 on: August 21, 2013, 10:13:20 AM »
@Yuki88: Thank you! I've always known that I can write non-fiction; I just never believed I could do fiction as well. So far, fiction is proving to be rather enjoyable, as I'm getting to work with a blank slate for the first time in a long while.

@cisda83: I was surprised as Chapter 2 started flowing in my head nonstop for a few hours in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep so I had no choice but to write it out. I hope you will enjoy the chapter below.

Crossroads - Chapter 2

Spring 2006

     After several email exchanges, they agreed to meet for tea on Saturday, which also happened to be a national holiday. Most people had returned to their hometowns during this Golden Week vacation period, and Shibuya was abnormally serene.
     Yuko leaned against the wall outside the coffee shop and glanced at her watch. It was already a quarter past the hour. She whipped out her phone and pulled up the photograph Jurina had sent last night. The accompanying message read, “This is me! Please look out for this face.” Yuko chuckled at the picture, which was slightly blurry and out of focus.
     She must’ve taken this in a hurry.
     “Oshima-san?” said a voice out of nowhere.
     Yuko looked up and saw a face identical to the one in the photograph staring back at her.
     “Matsui-san!” she exclaimed.
     Now that the subject was in focus, Yuko gazed momentarily at Jurina’s sharp facial features and jet-black chin-length hair. The simple white dress and denim jacket she was wearing brought out a girlish charm. Yuko felt instantly relieved. Earlier in the day, she had been panicking over what to wear, not knowing whether to dress up or dress down. In the end, she had opted for a discreet cardigan paired with khakis.
     “I guess instead of me finding you, you found me,” Yuko laughed. “Let’s go inside.”

     “So how do you like Tokyo so far?” Yuko inquired after the waiter had served their beverages.
     “It’s so big, and the subway system really confuses me. I’m terribly sorry for being late today, but I honestly got lost in that underground maze.”
     “Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it in no time! If you need any help, don’t hesitate to ask.”
     “You’re too kind, Oshima-san! I’m really grateful to you for coming out to meet me today.”
     “Just call me Yuko, Jurina-chan! After all, I’ve known you since you were, what, 16? 17?”
     “That’s true. Okay, then I won't stand on ceremony. Yuko.” Jurina beamed.
     Yuko noticed that the girl had dimples not too different from her own. She went on to tell Jurina about how her father had been retrenched from his job during her first year in university, and how her father and brother had moved back to Tochigi Prefecture to live with her grandparents.
     “Shortly after I started living alone, I met Seiji. He really gave me a lot of support throughout my university career. Now he’s moved to Canada for work…” Yuko trailed off, but quickly snapped out of it. “So do you have a boyfriend, Jurina-chan?”
     “Kinda, sorta…” Jurina pursed her lips together.
     “What’s that supposed to mean?”
     “Well, I’ve been with this guy for a while now, but he’s been engrossed in carpentry ever since graduating from high school. Even though he says that he will eventually apply to enter university, I really don’t see it happening,” Jurina said as she rolled her eyes.
     “There’s nothing wrong in being a woodworker.”
     “I’ll eventually want to start a family, and definitely wouldn’t feel financially secure being married to a carpenter. At first, I thought what he does was cool and even a little artistic, but now when I think about it practically… Anyway, he’s back in Aichi Prefecture, so I don’t even know if we’re gonna work out.”
     It appeared that Jurina did not wish to talk about this matter any further.
     “Yuko-san, do you think any appliance stores are open today? I would like to get an electric fan. The weather is starting to get a little warm already.”
     “I think Yamada Denki across the street ought to be open. Most major chains in Tokyo stay open even during public holidays.”
     “Life sure is different in a big city,” said Jurina pensively.

     Yuko watched Jurina, who was fascinated by the vast array of consumer electronics. The girl was excitable, like a small child filled with sense of wonder. Yuko felt like she needed to do all she could in order to preserve this beautiful naïveté.
     “I want that standing lamp too! My new room is so dark I can’t even put on make-up properly. But there’s no way I’d be able to carry back both a fan and a lamp by myself…” Jurina whined.
     “Just get it. I’ll help you carry it back to your dorm,” Yuko replied with a gentle smile.

     The aircrew dormitory was located in Shinagawa, a 12-minute train ride away from Shibuya.
     “You live really close to Odaiba! My high school friends and I often hang out at a café there. It has a stunning view of the Rainbow Bridge. I’ll take you there next time,” Yuko said while lugging the bulky box.
     “I look forward to it!” squealed Jurina, who was also struggling with her box.
     Thankfully, Jurina’s living quarters were not too far away from the train station.

     “I’m sorry to intrude,” Yuko said instinctively upon entering the flat.
     She looked up to see two girls seated at the dining table flipping through magazines while painting their nails.
     “These are my housemates, Itano-san and Sashihara-san. The three of us share this unit,” Jurina explained. Gesturing toward Yuko, she continued, “And this is Oshima-san, so far my only friend from Tokyo.”
     “Nice to meet you,” Yuko said and bowed.
     Both housemates nodded and mumbled something along the same lines. Yuko looked at the three stewardesses-to-be.
     Skymark sure knows how to choose pretty girls for their cabin crew. With the exception of that Sashihara girl. She looks quite plain and ordinary. Yeah, wouldn’t be too excited if she were on my flight.
     “I really need to use the restroom,” said Jurina all of a sudden.
     “I’ll bring these to your room. Which one is it?” Yuko offered.
     “Thanks so much! That one there,” Jurina replied while pointing to a door in the back left corner of the room.

     Yuko sat down on the single bed and saw that the bedroom was mostly bare. Through the open door, she could overhear the conversation going on outside.
     “I’m really looking forward to receiving discounts at Duty Free. There’s this mascara by Chanel I’ve been wanting to buy since forever.”
     “I’m more excited about meeting the pilots. Some of the girls saw them the other day, and apparently there’s this one guy who’s really hot. And unmarried.”
     “Do pilots make much? Right now I’m only interested in a guy who will buy me that new limited edition Hermès tote. I’m so bored of this Samantha Thavasa bag. It’s already a year old!”
     So this is the life of a flight attendant.
     Suddenly, Yuko felt incredibly thankful for her library job. She imagined that having to put on a false appearance daily would eventually become rather tiresome.
     In any case, I’d make a lousy stewardess. I’m so short I wouldn’t even be able to reach the overhead compartments. And my teeth are so crooked…
     “Yuko-san, do you want to join us for dinner? I think a bunch of us will go try out a new yakiniku joint around the corner,” Jurina asked, leaning against the doorframe.
     “No, not today. I just remembered I have some work that needs to be completed by Monday. You girls enjoy yourselves!” said Yuko as she got up from the bed. She flashed Jurina a wide smile. “Let’s meet again soon!”

Author's Note:
It's Koi Suru Fortune Cookie Day! Sorry, Sashihara fans. I was so upset when Sasshi got first place in the election, I immediately went for a 1-hour brisk walk to vent.

This chapter was very interesting to work on because it's the first time I've written dialogue in a long long while. I dug up a few novels at home and tried my best to copy the style. Please let me know if I'm doing something wrong. I was very surprised as once I got the voices started in my head, they just wouldn't stop talking!

I usually do not believe in explicitly explaining symbolism in my writing (unless asked), but kindly bear with me this one time, and allow me to explain the significance of the carpenter.

I'm not sure how things are in other parts of the world, but I know for a fact that in Asia, many people still regard creative pursuits (such as woodwork and fiction writing) as plain wastes of time simply because they are not profitable activities. To aspiring writers facing such opposition, do not let them bring you down! (Though it may result in people like Jurina not wanting to marry you…)

Writing is an art form that is slowly but surely dying in this Internet age. Each time I see poor English (due to laziness and not lack of ability) on social networking sites, I swear a little part of my heart breaks.

I am probably going to take a well-deserved break and try my best not to think about this story for a couple of weeks. Till next time!
« Last Edit: September 22, 2013, 04:46:32 PM by kurumi »

Offline LoyalFlutist

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 2 (2013.08.21)
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2013, 09:35:45 PM »
In response to your reply to my comment, everyone surely does have to do some poking around in their internal world to seek out what's comfortable for them to write. Some likes to write angst and others like to make tons of fluff. Then there are those that love to write in dialogues/play-like techniques as others prefer a more "book" format. Once you've found it, I'm sure you'll indulge into it with joy and motivation for yourself. :thumbsup

And I see that you enjoyed some of my fictions! Hope I continue to meet your expectation with my stories! :cow:

Okay, let me return back to commenting with what I intentionally have in mind~ You've updated! :cathappy:

I'm glad that both Yuko and Jurina finally got the chance to meet! Looks like the two girls have some love issues too... Hopefully they'll get through it and even maybe... get together? XD Haha, and good to see the squirrel walk Jurina back to her dormitory. She got the chance to see the other two flight attendants, Tomochin and Sasshi! :cathappy: Although I wish for Yuko to stay with Jurina, I can easily imagine "XP" being gained and a level being increased up from such interaction. At least there's a chance they'll meet again! :deco:

Thank you for posting this chapter up and looking forward to more of it! Will be waiting patiently for it~ :deco:

Offline Yuki88

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 2 (2013.08.21)
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2013, 09:53:40 PM »
Hahahahahaha don't say that. That's what I'm living now, life for money instead of passion "orz

But anyway, I like how it starts of very normal. I'm really interested to see the development of the plot ;3
Anai Chihiro is my one and only.


"Are we nothing more than the captain and her vice captain?"

My random OS Idea Center || Hakata Legend (HKT48 drabble fics) || Virgin Love (A TomoYuki Fluff) -hiatus?-

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Offline cisda83

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 2 (2013.08.21)
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2013, 11:15:57 PM »
Well written so far...

Nice interesting story

Can't wait to see the next

Thank you

 :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs

Offline sakura_drop_

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 2 (2013.08.21)
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2013, 10:30:14 AM »
Whoop Whoop, I can finally comment!!!!

Ah, I really love this chapter where we can see an insight into their love lives which apparently have problems...

Nyaha, I find Sasshi having quite some charms (even though Yuko-sama is my Kami Oshi and I had some hard feelings towards that hetare for overtaking mah Yuko-sama) but I realized some of the burden was lift off of the squirrel's shoulders, especially considering she is a captain, ace and many other things that she has to do...

Anyways, the story is going in a pace which I kinda enjoy (dun get me wrong, I like your story... Just usually I read differently paced and styled fics and I was surprised to find myself engrossed with these two chapters and many questions appeared in my head regarding the whole story  XD ) so yeah, I will be waiting for your next chapter (where I hope JuriYuu proceeds on with their friendship)!  :twothumbs

Take your time and give us another splendid chapie~  :bow:


P.S. You read my stories!!! Arigatou!!! m(_ _)m

P.P.S. And yes, I have some ideas about writing JuriYuu after I saw So Long! drama, so yeah~ >_<
« Last Edit: August 22, 2013, 10:51:06 AM by sakura_drop_ »
"人間みんな変態だから" - 古川愛李, SKE48 新高柳チームKII 「シアターの女神」千秋楽公演, 2014.04.18 <"Because all people are perverts." - Furukawa Airi, SKE48 New Takayanagi Team KII [Theater no Megami] Last Stage, 2014.04.18>

My Blog: J-Pop and K-Pop Abode   The list of my fics in JPH!P: My fics   My fics can be found here also: AKBlasphemy48   Let's have fun here: Acchan48   My home and family: United Nations Society of Adorkable Writers



My KamiOshis: Yuuko-sama, Rena-sama  Oshimen: Yuihime Other favorites: Mirukii, Juri-tan, Ripopo

Offline sakura_drop_

  • サクゲキと読んでください | Sakugeki to yonde kudasai~ | Please call me "Sakugeki"
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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 2 (2013.08.21)
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2013, 10:50:46 AM »
Sorry to double post but this is the thing I noticed after reading Chapter two for the second time  XD (I really have nothing else to do, do I?  :nervous )

Yuko-sama feels not pretty compared to Tomochin and Jurina, right? I noticed the way she said about herself...

Quote
In any case, I’d make a lousy stewardess. I’m so short I wouldn't even be able to reach the overhead compartments. And my teeth are so crooked…

This line at least for me clearly shows she sees minuses in her own looks...

And then Juju invites her to go out to eat with them but she refuses and for some reason I feel that she refused cuz of not wanting to look bad next to those three (which she wouldn't cuz she is really pretty, gorgeous and all, but she still needs to realize that in this story   :roll: )
"人間みんな変態だから" - 古川愛李, SKE48 新高柳チームKII 「シアターの女神」千秋楽公演, 2014.04.18 <"Because all people are perverts." - Furukawa Airi, SKE48 New Takayanagi Team KII [Theater no Megami] Last Stage, 2014.04.18>

My Blog: J-Pop and K-Pop Abode   The list of my fics in JPH!P: My fics   My fics can be found here also: AKBlasphemy48   Let's have fun here: Acchan48   My home and family: United Nations Society of Adorkable Writers



My KamiOshis: Yuuko-sama, Rena-sama  Oshimen: Yuihime Other favorites: Mirukii, Juri-tan, Ripopo

Offline kurumi

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 2 (2013.08.21)
« Reply #17 on: August 22, 2013, 07:27:12 PM »
More comments, yay! I love receiving feedback. As I am only able to see my story from my point of view, it is always beneficial to find out how it is being interpreted by others. Thank you, everyone. :)

@LoyalFlutist: Your list of genres was very useful. If asked to compartmentalise my usual writing style, I would most likely label it as "realistic book" format, since most of the novels I read fall into that category. Also, I really enjoy reading your trains of thought, and laughed at the "XP" analogy!

@Yuki88: I do feel it is important to be practical, and was trying to urge people to persist with their passions during their spare time even if they have boring day jobs. I think it's great that you're writing despite your "living for money". (*'-^) Similarly, I'll try to work on the next chapter soon.

@cisda83: Frankly, I had feared that Chapter 2 would be a boring read, thus am glad some people seem to have enjoyed it. As you can probably tell by now, my imagination isn't very wild. I guess I enjoy visualising things that are highly possible, i.e., events that could happen right next door.

@sakura_drop_: You are very insightful! I'm not sure why Yuko didn't stay for dinner… maybe she was tired from carrying the lamp.

Personally, I believe everyone has some sort of complex. Yuko did express concern about her teeth on TV back in 2010, and I am attaching a screenshot for posterity's sake.

Even though I did have misgivings after Sasshi became center, am currently really enjoying the new single! Listening to it makes me want to get up and dance.

Offline kurumi

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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 3A (2013.09.19)
« Reply #18 on: September 19, 2013, 08:25:01 PM »
After giving it some thought, I've decided that Chapter 3 would be better presented if split into two parts. At the moment, I'm not quite finished with part B yet, but feel that posting part A first may provide me with some additional motivation.

I had originally set the deadline to Yuko's birthday, but Jurina's victory in yesterday's Janken Taikai has put me in an extremely good mood, thus am releasing part A for now. Hopefully, I will be done with part B by October 17th. (No promises here.)

I apologise that the scene below is rather short, but kindly understand that putting together a three-person dialogue was not an easy task for me. Perhaps writing dialogue will become easier with more practice.

Crossroads - Chapter 3A

Summer 2006

     “Where’s Mayu?” asked Yuko as she craned her neck to look inside the café.
     “She and Yuki decided to make a weekend trip to Hokkaido impromptu. Something about escaping the Tokyo heat…” Minami replied.
     “What! I’m envious… I want a rich girlfriend who’ll take me on romantic getaways too!” Yuko wailed, banging both her fists on the tabletop.
     “You already have a boyfriend!” exclaimed Minami as she furrowed her brows.
     “But he’s not here…” Yuko lamented. She puffed out her cheeks.
     “How’s Seiji doing anyway?”
     “He’s so caught up with work, he has little time for anything else. We talk on the weekends and that’s about it. I really don’t understand men sometimes. They don’t seem to have any emotional needs,” sulked Yuko, obviously disgruntled.
     “At least you have a boyfriend. Right, Nyan Nyan?”
     Both girls turned to look at Haruna, who was fixated on her phone and being unresponsive.
     “What are you doing, Nyan Nyan?” Yuko asked as she prodded Haruna’s arm.
     “Harvesting mushrooms,” Haruna responded nonchalantly. She glanced up and saw looks of confusion upon her friends’ faces. “You don’t know Touch Detective?” she asked in a tone of disbelief. “The funghi are really cute!” Haruna proceeded to show her friends the various species of mushroom in the game.
     “C’mon! Even if you don’t want to look at our faces, at least enjoy the view!” Yuko rebuked, swiftly getting up from her chair. “It’s such a clear night, you can see Tokyo Tower beyond the bridge!” She pointed at the beautifully lit up tower with all her might.
     “So how did the meet up with your pen pal go?” Minami intercepted in an effort to calm Yuko down.
     “Jurina-chan?” Yuko answered, sitting back down reluctantly. “She seems like a nice girl. I even visited the aircrew lodging facility in Shinagawa, and it was pretty snug for a dorm!”
     “I’ve always wanted to be a stewardess…” Haruna muttered longingly.
     “There’s nothing glamorous about it. You’re essentially a waitress in the sky,” Minami retorted.
     “I just want to wear the cute uniform,” stated Haruna, dreamy-eyed, propping her face in her hands.
     “I met her housemates briefly and they seemed like the superficial sort. Jurina’s not like that though. It makes me really wonder if she’s cut out for the job… I’m a little concerned, especially since she has no other friends nor family here in Tokyo,” Yuko said in earnest.
     “Why didn’t you ask her to join us tonight?” Minami suggested.
     “That’s a good idea! I’ll ask her now.”

     Yuko placed her phone back down on the table after she had sent out the invitation to Jurina. Takamina and Kojiharu were bickering about something else now, and the sight of them brought a smile to Yuko’s face. She was grateful for her high school friends, as they were the only ones who had stuck with her through thick and thin over the years. These were the few people with whom she could truly be herself, without the need for any sort of pretence. Just as she was about to begin reminiscing, a pressing vibration from her phone interrupted her thoughts.
     “She says she just broke up with her boyfriend a couple of days ago, isn’t in a very sociable mood, and wants to stay at home alone tonight,” Yuko summarised while staring at the screen with a worried look.
     “Do you think she’s all right?” asked Haruna, who also started to show signs of concern.
     “Hmm…” pondered Yuko, tapping her fingers on the table.
     “Perhaps you should go keep her company. Remember the time you stayed over at Mayu’s place for a week when she and Yuki were fighting? Mayu recently told me that she greatly appreciated it,” Minami prompted.
     “Really? She was so depressed, I couldn’t leave her alone,” Yuko recalled. She silently gazed at Tokyo Tower while processing her thoughts. “Yeah… I think I’ll go check on Jurina after all. I’m so sorry about this. I’ll buy the both of you drinks next time.”
     “Don’t worry about it,” said Minami in a calm and assuring tone.
     Yuko picked up her bag and started making her way to the exit. Turning around abruptly, she waved goodbye to the two girls and hollered, “I’ll definitely make it up to you!”
     She had failed to notice the tinge of disappointment in Haruna’s demeanour.

     As Yuko walked to the train station, she hurriedly sent out a message to Jurina. It read, “I’m coming over now.”

Note: Seeing this photo inspired me to write the scene above. It gives you an idea of the view from the café in Odaiba.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2013, 07:30:39 AM by kurumi »

Offline sakura_drop_

  • サクゲキと読んでください | Sakugeki to yonde kudasai~ | Please call me "Sakugeki"
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Re: Crossroads (JuriYuu) - Chapter 3A (2013.09.19)
« Reply #19 on: September 19, 2013, 09:03:58 PM »
such a short chapter but already gives some insights....

Like NyanNyan having a thing for Yuko-sama (probably), then the two being close friends of Yuko-sama's, and well yeah, MaYuki~  :wub:

I'll be waitin for the next part eagerly~



P.S. I also have an idea for Yuko-sama's B-day, and I hope I can make it (I failed with Rena-sama's present, I still didn't finish it... OTL )
"人間みんな変態だから" - 古川愛李, SKE48 新高柳チームKII 「シアターの女神」千秋楽公演, 2014.04.18 <"Because all people are perverts." - Furukawa Airi, SKE48 New Takayanagi Team KII [Theater no Megami] Last Stage, 2014.04.18>

My Blog: J-Pop and K-Pop Abode   The list of my fics in JPH!P: My fics   My fics can be found here also: AKBlasphemy48   Let's have fun here: Acchan48   My home and family: United Nations Society of Adorkable Writers



My KamiOshis: Yuuko-sama, Rena-sama  Oshimen: Yuihime Other favorites: Mirukii, Juri-tan, Ripopo

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