A/N please enjoy my as ever short OS,
blame the MaYuki feels all over the sites...
My OTP for today
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Confessions of an IdolIt was an unfulfilled dream.
My dream of becoming a legendary Idol…
Someday…
Somehow…
I dreamed.
I did my all…
Gave my all…
All I could….
Even those I never knew I could….
All.
Still failed.
I am Kashiwagi Yuki.
A person
Once an Idol.
Few years have passed; I’m now living like a normal human being working in a TV station but things are not the same as it were before, I work as a common staff now. Tables have turned, Right? Somehow, I couldn’t help but to feel a little guilt…maybe anger towards myself., Anger coming from the frustrations of failing myself. I keep on asking myself…what went wrong? What did I do? Don’t I deserve something so big like….Mayu?
Watanabe Mayu.
The biggest star of the generation. I don’t doubt her. Never did actually. I’ve seen her potentials since the beginning of our AKB journey. Maybe I could say I’m just a little jealous over her success on the business. I guess that’s it. Losing the first place to anyone else didn’t make her falter instead she worked even harder to surpass them all. Even after graduating to AKB, she still worked hard as an individual. No wonder, she’s now known to the world.
“good job Mayuyu~”But…
It’s not just that.
Maybe.
I’m also jealous over her relationship towards a guy right now.
Yeah. She just announced she’s dating someone that made a stir on the local and international press. She’s all over the worldwide web. All newspapers are plastered with her face. It wasn’t a bad news at all since she already graduated from AKB family last year, two years after I and Yuko left. Somehow I felt pity to myself. She’s totally out of reach now for someone like me who just faded like air from the business.
“Did I fail too hard?”I lost everything.
Since my scandal went out to the public. Yeah. I had one scandal but their allegations weren’t true at all. Well, I have accepted it, No one could please everybody.
I felt my phone vibrated. I was anticipating this call anyway. “moshi~mosh” I uttered as I answer the call. It was the production manager calling for my aid at the station. Her next words made my heart skip a beat as she told me….
“Yuki-chan, come we need more people….Mayuyu will have a special urgent interview today, come see her too”
I will see her….
Watanabe Mayu.
Once my daughter…
My teammate…
My friend….
My inspiration…
In contrast with the speculations before when we’re still working together, we never dated even confessed a serious affection to each other. We just played our parts as idols. Love didn’t really exist between us. I didn’t even know if that notion gave me a good result..or something bad. Before, I said I’m cool even if I dance at the back or anywhere else as long as people notice me, it’s enough. Apparently, that didn’t work well on my pace. Throughout my career, I stayed not on her side….but behind her shadow. I accepted it.
There’s no Kashiwagi Yuki…
If there isn’t Watanabe Mayu…
I can’t survive without her. I didn’t. So look at me…
I was rushing along the busy street to our station but when I thought of the fact I’m getting closer to where she is, my feet didn’t seem wanting to cooperate anymore. I felt fear, I wanted to see her once more but half of me feared of how it will go. Shame? Jealousy? What if she’s with the guy?
I wouldn’t be able to face her.
Why?
Maybe because I did love her.
Maybe…I do.
Still.
It took all my strength to step on that particular elevator that will lead me to her but why does my hands seemed not cooperating well? I couldn’t even hit the button right. I’m trembling.
“I don’t wanna go….” I looked down.
“Hep!”
That voice. I know that voice. It’s irritatingly familiar to my senses. Even the scent that has dispersed into the thin air, I know it.
I looked up. I was right. It was Mayu.
I saw her smiling at me.
“Unbelievable” was all I could think of as I scanned the figure. She hasn’t changed at all, even her partly braided-hair didn’t seem to go out of fashion with her casual dress. She’s still her, the person I hold dearest.
“Yukirin!”
But…
No sign of affection were given, not even a single hug. She just called my name. Just like a long-lost acquaintance she hasn’t seen for a while. Is it too sad? This awkwardness I’m feeling is incomparable. I’d rather kiss a random guy than being with her inside the elevator alone. Where’s my pride now? I lost all of them I guess.
“Ano~ congratulations Mayu~” I didn’t even planned it, it just slipped out of my stupid mouth. She turned on me wearing her cosmic smile.
“Thank you Yuki~”
The interview went smoothly. Things didn’t go as I expected, more likely “they” have expected. There was not even a single MaYuki moment happened inside the room. We seemed like a plain stranger working, all business. She was cold but wasn’t it her personality before? Why does it feel like I’m still not used to it? Could it be I was too confident before that she likes me?
Reality sucks.
Thinking of Mayu was about to go, I prepared my stuff until I noticed her coming back….walking towards me.
“Yukirin, give me your number~” she smiled at me. People around us were looking. Some were taking photos of this somehow phenomenal event happening.
“Let’s take a picture!”
A MaYuki moment after several years.
I gave her number as she gave hers to me. That was all until she totally left the vicinity.
I thought it stopped there until….
@@@@@@@@@@@@Watanabe Mayu’s BlogToday, I did an interview..
I saw Yukirin after..I don’t know how long has it been…3?
So long LOL I’m getting old.
She’s still pretty as before~ teehee
I wanna see her again
MaYuki
I’ll be having a program again, please watch it! I’ll do my best~
That’s all for today, goodnight everyone~ Mayuyu
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@“it’s a lie…everything” I knew it was a lie.
It was a shock to the netizens, even the people I never thought also reacted with the sudden event. I guess it will never die, US. I felt my phone vibrated and saw a new message. It was her.
“[Watanabe M.]Yukirin, I learned you’re near at my place, isn’t it cool? Come hang out with me sometime, okay?”Her message seemed like she’s not bothered at all being with me. I wondered how she felt towards me before. Were all of those just my crazy delusions that she liked me?
Days passed and yet she’s still the apple of the eye of the press. Everything she does causes a stir to the public. Indeed, she’s a big deal now to the country and even abroad. Time came; we both had the same free time. I wondered how she was able to have such “free time” playing the business for years made me realize such free time doesn’t exist. “How?”
“Yadda~ come in Yukirin~!” an overly excited Mayu welcomed me to her pad. Her place was a high-end one. No wonder, with her success, places like this would be an easy-bitsy stuff for her. On top of that, she’s dating a private businessman.
“You’re place….is” I stopped for a moment to think for a decent description of her elegant condo. Not a single word came up.
“Bakarin~”“is…?” she waited for an answer. Her stare even gave me a reason to panic for a word. Nothing came up still.
“sou~ sou….never mind” she chuckled.
“What do you wanna do?” she asked me. I came with no plans at all. I just wanted to see her. I shrugged my shoulders as I left her to decide and sat on the huge couch.
“gaah~ too bad, I don’t have anything in mind too haha~” she said as she sat on the empty coffee table in an unIDOL-like manner in front of me. I remembered she was fond of doing things like this when we’re in private before. I can’t blame her; she’s just being herself, the genuine one. We shared a fair stare towards each other. I couldn’t help but smile as I felt nostalgic with her cyborg-smile at me.
“What?” she chuckled.
“I just realized how long it was before I could see you smile like that” I tilted my head grinning on her as I felt my alter-ego of ojou-sama character come out once again after a long time.
“So how have you been?” she uttered. It was the scariest question, the question I don’t wanna answer especially from Mayu. My pride, I felt the smallest portion left of my pride shattered into pieces. I felt belittled with the question not because she asked, but because I knew the answer.
I’ve gone nowhere.
Unlike her.
“….”
“People were looking for you” She looked down wearing a wry smile.
“They are?” I doubted it. I never felt wanted after I left.
“They are..”
“It doesn’t matter now, you’re you…and I’m me right now, we’re different Mayu” I answered as casually as possible.
“It does….to me” she murmured as she lifted her knees and hugged them. I felt a little irritated as I saw her seeming the poor-bygone idol figure now.
“Shouldn’t I be the one pitied?”“Oh, really? I wonder how you missed me while dating that man~” I uttered mindlessly and eventually realized how stupid my statement was.
She lifted her head wearing a shocked face on me. “Huh? And how does my boyfriend dragged between us?”
I was cornered. Not a single chance I could answer her comeback. So I decided once and for all ask the golden question that has been bothering me for months.
“Do you love him?”
“Yes, I do…”
I felt my heart ache as I looked straight into her eyes. I felt her sincerity. She loved him. Having no point of staying, I stood up and headed for an exit.
“But my love for him is incomparable how I feel for you…..”
I stopped. Did I mishear what she said? My mind went blank. I’m lost trying to deduct what she wanted to tell me.
“Why are you avoiding me?!” Her voice arose every statement she’s making.
“Shouldn’t I be the one angry?”
“When you had that Scandal…I never blamed you nor tell you anything bad”“It was a false-accusation….” “I know…cause I believe you”“I told you to stay….” Her voice started to crumble as she seemed about to cry.
“I be-begged….you to stay”
“You left me…..”
“You’re the one who left me!”I was holding the knob and yet I couldn’t seem to turn it. Instead I leaned my back on the door as I watch her cry. Is it real?
“Why…Why now?” was all I could ask as I slide down my body on the door. I felt weak seeing her cry.
“Tell me Yuki, do you love me?” she asked not even paying a glance on me.
“It doesn’t matter now… whatever it is” I answered lethargically as I felt all my energy drained out with the realization of our current situation. I watch her stand up and slowly paved her steps towards me. She knelt before me as if switching places with me the way we were before.
“I still want to know the answer….please?”
Instead of answering I made a soft nod on her that earned her a simple smile showing off her crystal teeth. She’s happy. It felt so good seeing her smile, so genuine I felt like crying.
“We can’t…..”
“Who told you we can’t?” she said as if not grasping the whole Idea,
“You’re dating him…” I almost whispered. I looked down. Silence fell between us. But suddenly I heard her chuckle. I lifted my head only to find out she’s laughing on her own.
“…..???”
“Why?! Why are you laughing? It’s not a joke, it’s serious Mayu~”
She tried her hardest to gain her composure once again and cleared her throat.
“and… you said you love hi~” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence as I felt her soft lips pressed onto mine. A gentle kiss that made my heart beat wilder as ever. Breaking the connection…“mou~ You’re the only ace in my heart~” she winked at me. Hearing her words made my face heat-up. More likely because of how cheesy it may seem especially coming from Mayu’s mouth. The heartless cyborg.
“woi! You don’t say that again!” I glared at the smiling cyborg.
“mou~ Oshiriko-chan told me to tell you that~”
“EH?! “ and here I am over-reacting again.
“Why eh? I think it’s cool!” she winked at me. It seemed she practiced a lot to perfect her wink.
“So…how about him?” My question seemed got through her as her face turned into a serious one….No, a fierce one.
Silence won over once again.
When suddenly she went closer to my ear and whispered….
“not until I make a scandal with you….”
Next day.
HEADLINES: MAYUKI STRIKES AGAINThis is my story.
I am Kashiwagi Yuki.
A person
Once an Idol.
FOREVER STAYS AN IDOL
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Topic: [imTD's OS/SS comp] Choices-3 (Read 90932 times)