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I hope you like this chapter. It was a bit rushed I know.
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Chapter 9
“Nani!. Atsuko. Hold on Hold on. Let me explain” I chase after her
Ignoring my calls, she continues to walk in a fast pace to her place.
“There’s nothing to explain Minami.” She replies getting into her apartment
Just as she was about to close the door, I put my foot in front of the door “itai!” I say to myself since I ran barefooted after her
“Please Atsuko. Let me in” pleading as I hold the open
“Fine” she finally gives up trying to close the door and lets me into her place
“Thank you” I say catching my breath
Once walking into her place I see her head straight for her bedroom closes the door
“EH!” I run to her bedroom door and turn the knob to follow her in but then I hear a “click”
Knocking on her door “Atsuko! I can explain everything!”
“I said I’d let you in. I didn’t say I’d sit around and listen to your excuses” I hear her say from inside
Getting a little frustrated I snap back “What excuses!? When had I ever had to makes excuses Atsuko.”
It was silence on the other side
Sighing, I lean my back on her door and sit on the floor. Hoping she’s still listening to me I start talking
“Tomochin was my past. You know that. I’m sure you’ve already heard from Mariko and Nyan Nyan about what happened. I’m sorry we never really got a chance to talk about it yet. But now is just as good as any I think” chuckling to myself a bit
“Everything was perfect with us. Well at least I thought it was. My business with Mii-chan was thriving and Tomochin was on her way to become the pop star she’s always wanted to be. I did everything and anything to make her happy. Supported every decision she made. Of course, I loved her. She was my first love. I thought that we would be spending the rest of our lives together. So I decided it was time for us to take that next step. I planned this elaborate proposal. And what a fool I was when she said no. I was blind for not seeing she was unhappy with me. Well, it’s not that she wasn’t happy..it was more like she isn’t love me as much as I loved her. I was suffocating in that balloon Atsuko. It took every fiber of my being not to jump. I was breaking inside. It felt as though, my whole world was breaking apart. Then I realized, that she has been seeing someone else from work behind my back. And I was hurting even more. Once the balloon landed, I was too ashamed to face our friends. Too worried about seeing the disappointment look on their faces. The coward that I was ran away. I ran away from everything. I wanted to just leave everything behind. To run away from the pain I was feeling, from everything I’ve worked for, Tomochin and even my friends” I stop to take a breath slightly surprised at myself for being able to talk about it and no longer be in aching
Still no response from Atsuko so I continue
“I was broken. It was a very dark time for me. I became a shut in. I thought to myself, if I wasn’t good enough for Tomochin, I was never going to be good enough for anyone. I didn’t care about anything anymore. Tomochin moved out of our place and moved to America for her career which happened to be good for her. She came back often for holidays. I didn’t make an effort to meet her half way. She always tried to reach out to me but I ignored her. She still got to see the others though. Even after what happened with us, they are her friends too. They weren’t happy with her at first but never shut her out. They however became over protective of me when it comes to her. I love our friends. They gave me the space I needed at that time. They knew one day I’d wake up and stop being a fool. They had faith in me when I didn’t in myself. So once I was ready to pick myself up off the ground, they were there to help me put myself together. Gradually, I went back to my normal life. Learning to live without Tomochin. I was healing. Very slowly but I was. I see everything in a different light now. I have become a better person. A stronger one. And I have Tomochin to thank for that. I’ve learned a lot from it. I am the Minami you know now because of what I’ve gone through. And I hope you like me enough to take me as I am.”
Knowing that I am probably just mumbling to myself I keep going
“Then I met you. You took me by surprise Atsuko. I didn’t think I’d care for anyone this much so fast. You have the most amazing smile in the world. I swear you could take away any pain or fear or fatigue that I have with that smile of yours. I like how carefree you are and how you allow yourself to enjoy the little things around you. It is impressive how you love you job so much. Seeing you interact with your fans like they are your friends amazes me. You are wonderful at what you do. Everyone sees you as this super multi-talented Maeda Atsuko. But I see you as you. The Atsuko who will eat anything that is given her. I can’t even catch up to your appetite. The Atsuko who loves going on EVERY ride in Disneyland. The Atsuko who I think is beautiful even without all her make up. The Atsuko who would go with the plan her friends put together just to troll me. You are wonderful Atsuko.” I finish tired from my very long exhausting day.
“And. I..” Yawning “Love “ Still yawning “You Maeda Atsuko.”
I fall asleep outside her bedroom door wondering if she was listening to all my grumblings.
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