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Author Topic: Heartbeat (20/20) + Partners (23/23) + Destiny (41/41 END) [WMatsui] - REPLIES  (Read 158021 times)

Offline Genkikid

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (17/?) [WMatsui] (06/03/16)
« Reply #360 on: March 07, 2016, 04:07:40 AM »
Jurina found out :O Will Rena tell Jurina about her graduation since Jurina found out??

Offline Darathon

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (17/?) [WMatsui] (06/03/16)
« Reply #361 on: March 07, 2016, 06:56:23 AM »
Ohoho. Jurina knowsssssss
Oh man, what a great update. It was kinda cute, and the way jurina found out was well written.
But dang. Rena didn't even tell jurina and she found out already. There's definitely going to be some serious drama.
Thanks for the update  :bow:  :bow:
I hope there's a happy ending  :(
Atsumina and Wmatsui for life.
Takamina Oshi!!!

Offline kuro_black29

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (17/?) [WMatsui] (06/03/16)
« Reply #362 on: March 07, 2016, 12:31:09 PM »
Jurina found out herself..nuhhhhhhhhhh
dramahhhh  :frustrated: :frustrated:
waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
fuhhh..i manage to catch up again~~
thanks for the update~~
 :ding: :kneelbow: :on gay: :on drink:
Live in the land of mist..nahh just kidding..
Live in the land of Wmatsui and Mayuki...
World of fantasy..World of Lalaland~

            (っ´▽`)っWmatsui~Mayuki ♡ (。’∀’。)

Tend to forget things but not mah fav author and fics

Offline sophcaro

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (17/?) [WMatsui] (06/03/16)
« Reply #363 on: March 08, 2016, 11:52:35 AM »

I think the surprise is ruined .... (Irony)

Yes, I'm afraid Jurina's happy mood is ruined now...

Jurina found out :O Will Rena tell Jurina about her graduation since Jurina found out??

Of course, they are going to talk about it. Rena can't really avoid it now, can she?

Ohoho. Jurina knowsssssss
Oh man, what a great update. It was kinda cute, and the way jurina found out was well written.
But dang. Rena didn't even tell jurina and she found out already. There's definitely going to be some serious drama.
Thanks for the update  :bow:  :bow:
I hope there's a happy ending  :(

Yep. Drama is only starting!

Jurina found out herself..nuhhhhhhhhhh
dramahhhh  :frustrated: :frustrated:
waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
fuhhh..i manage to catch up again~~
thanks for the update~~
 :ding: :kneelbow: :on gay: :on drink:

Glad you were able to catch up  :thumbup
My WMatsui fanfics:

HEARTBEAT trilogy
- Heartbeat | Completed
- Partners | Completed
- Destiny | Completed

OTHER FANFICS
- Warriors | Ongoing
- Back in Time | Ongoing
- One Shot collection: Her Sun | Completed
- Fire and Water | On hiatus

Offline culjurio

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (17/?) [WMatsui] (06/03/16)
« Reply #364 on: March 09, 2016, 05:11:59 PM »
Ah finally i have a free time for read thia chapt.


my heart stop too when Read 'graduation' wkwk.
just wonder how was J feeling. OMG.
Thanks for update author san  :deco:
i'm sorry for my poor english~
Matsui Jurina-Kojima Haruna-Yuko Oshima

Offline sophcaro

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (18/?) [WMatsui] (12/03/16)
« Reply #365 on: March 12, 2016, 09:20:40 PM »
CHAPTER 18



It’s the slamming of a door that woke her up. Rena fluttered her eyes open, wondering who could be making such unusual and unpleasant noise. After all, she lived in a quiet building. And it was definitely not her 70 year old neighbor who could be at the origin of it. The woman was the quietest person on earth. Sometimes, it was even hard to believe there was truly a human being living next door.

Rena felt sleepy, and she understood why when she noticed that her head was resting on her desk. She had taken an involuntarily nap. Straightening up, she rubbed a little her soaring neck, until her eyes widened in surprise when she noticed a red small packet and a matching envelope on her desk. Rena frowned in perplexity at the discovery. Who could have placed them here? Curiosity got the best of her, and she grasped the red envelope.

A smile moved to her lips when she recognized Jurina’s handwriting on the letter inside. She had no idea whatsoever what could have prompted the young girl to write her a letter. After all, they saw each other yesterday, and Jurina had not mentioned anything about it. Despite that fact, she was pleasantly surprised. And very curious about it. The older Matsui adjusted her glasses on her nose, and started to read.

“Rena,

Times passes by so fast, don’t you think? When people tell me it’s already been eight years since I entered SKE48, I look at them in surprise. It clearly doesn’t feel like it. I need to see a picture of myself at eleven year old to fully realize it. And it always embarrasses me when I see such a thing. I was so young back then. I almost don’t recognize myself. I’ve changed so much over the years. Physically and mentally. The environment around me has also changed a lot. So many members have left SKE48. It always feels strange when I look at what is left of the 1st generation. Somehow, it makes me sad that so many founding members are gone.

However, one person has been my constancy throughout all these years: you. Since I entered SKE48, you have always been by my side. I have to admit: a few times, I feared of losing you. It happened when you joined Team E, or when you accepted a kennin position in Nogizaka46. In the end, my deepest fear didn’t come true. Yes, we saw each other less. I didn’t like it. I still don’t like it when you have to leave for Tokyo and Nogizaka46’s related works. But you are still in the group; by my side. And that is all that matters to me.

A few months ago, you told me you wouldn’t have been able to make it so far without me. That my presence brought you well needed motivation when times were hard, especially during the first years. At first, I didn’t understand your words. How was it possible that the very young girl that I was back then could have accomplished such an extraordinary thing? You never said anything about it. You put up with all the moments of hardships so bravely, that I never realize I had played a role in your determination.

I remember people used to say we were too different. Some staff members even doubted our duo would work. Despite their beliefs, it worked. Because we were complementary. You calmed me down effectively when I was bursting with too much energy. I know I wasn’t always an easy kid to deal with for you. I often got over-enthusiastic over things, and I’m very stubborn.

However, there’s one thing I’m certain of. I wouldn’t have stayed in SKE48 if it wasn’t for you. The young girl that I was wouldn’t have been able to deal with the pressure without your reassuring presence.

Do you remember how we used to ask ourselves why they decided to pair us together? Apart from our names, we had not much in common. Now, I think I understand better. Somehow, the people who made that decision knew we would support each other. Apart, we would have given up a long time ago. Together, we were a force that nothing could stop.

I’m sure you must be wondering why I’m writing you all this. You don’t know what today is, do you? It’s January 30. A year ago, you did something I could never have foreseen. You reciprocated my feelings. Not a day passes by without me being thankful for that day. Honestly, I don’t know if I would have been able to stay in SKE48 any longer. Standing everyday by the side of the object of my affection would have been too hard. Unrequited love is such a painful thing.

But all this is now in the past. I’m happy. I’ve never been happier than this last year by your side. And it’s all thanks to you.

When you will read this letter, I’ll definitely be by your side watching your every reaction. I’m well aware that you’re not anymore the over-emotional girl that you were when you first entered the group. But I’m pretty sure I’ll see a tear or two rolling down your cheeks.

I hope you will like your present. I had a really hard time finding it!

Love you.

Jurina.”


Rena chuckled softly at Jurina’s insight. She wiped away a few budding tears. Oh how much she hated crying. She had done it so much the first years she joined SKE48… But maybe she could let it go for once. After all, they were tears of joy.

Rena placed the letter back on the desk, her attention now on the present. Just as she was about to start unwrapping it, her fingers halted midway. Wait. Didn’t Jurina write in her letter that she would be present?

Rena turned around, only to meet the silence of her bedroom. She stood up in confusion, tilting her head in the direction of her living room. “Jurina?”

No answer. Her apartment was still as quiet as the moment before. Nevertheless, she decided to check the rest of the apartment to make sure. Who knew, maybe the young girl was playing a prank on her? It would be unusual, but it would explain her current absence in the bedroom.

Rena entered the living room, and her gaze wandered around the place. No sign of the SKE’s ace anywhere. A quick look at the entrance told her Jurina was definitely not present. Her jacket and shoes were gone.

Rena frowned a little, trying to understand the reason behind the girl’s absence. Maybe Jurina had decided to leave when she discovered that she was sleeping? In a way, it could make sense. But in her letter, the young girl seemed very decided to be present. Somehow, Rena believed Jurina’s stubbornness would have prevented her from leaving and missing such a moment. Moreover, Jurina had a few belongings here: books, games, and movies. She could have easily occupied herself in the meantime.

Finding no plausible explanation for Jurina’s absence, Rena decided to call her. She retraced her steps back to the bedroom, finding her Smartphone placed on the right corner of her desk. Her fingers were dialing Jurina’s phone number, when her attention suddenly got caught by another letter laying on the desk next to Jurina’s. A letter she was writing before unexpectedly falling asleep.

Apprehension immediately built up inside her as she remembered what it was. Rena placed the white device back on the desk, and took the letter to read it. She was feeling so sleepy while writing it, that she didn’t remember exactly its content. Moreover, she was having such a hard time finding the right words. What did she write?

Rena scanned the letter, really hoping she didn’t write what she thought. It was only a draft, and she had crossed so many words, out of dissatisfaction. Most of the sentences didn’t even make sense. Her deepest fear came true when she stopped on a certain word. It was written in black and white. Graduation. Rena’s heart stopped, and the paper trembled between her fingers.

She tried desperately to convince herself that Jurina had not read this. That she had left her apartment for another reason altogether. For another, simple reason she wasn’t aware of. Jurina was going to come back very soon. And Rena was going to tell her how much her beautiful letter moved her. Yes, she was coming back.

A memory suddenly submerged her mind and put an end to any doubt she still had. The slamming door that had woke her up. It wasn’t just any ordinary apartment’s door. It felt too close to have been a neighbor. No, it was her apartment front door. Which meant… Jurina was here just a few minutes ago. And had left as soon as she stumbled upon that letter. That letter she should have never read.

The sheet slipped between her trembling fingers and landed on the desk. Without wasting another second, Rena turned on her heels and stormed out of her bedroom. Her heart was hammering inside her chest when she put her coat and shoes on in a haste. Jurina had discovered the truth. And in the worst possible way. No, this wasn’t happening. She had prepared everything in her head: the day and the way she would announce her graduation to Jurina. Why didn’t things go according to her plans?





Rena searched in alert a familiar face when she stepped on the sidewalk in front of her building. She looked left, then right. No sign of Jurina. No, she couldn’t be too late. Jurina had only left a couple of minutes ago. She had to explain herself to her.

Her feet moved forward in the direction of the taxi waiting line, in the hope that the young girl was not already gone. She sped up, knowing she had a few minutes’ walk to arrive at her destination. She completely ignored the startled looks she received on her way from a few bystanders. Yes, it was most definitely unusual to see the non-sporty Rena Matsui running down the streets.

Rena didn’t care how she must have looked to others. The only thing that mattered right now was to find Jurina. And prevent her from leaving. Relief filled her chest when she saw her waiting for her taxi a few meters away. Rena slowed down, and waited until she was a few feet away to call her name. “Jurina…”

The designated young girl who was typing a message on her phone paused at the sound of her slightly erratic voice. But she didn’t turn to look at her. Rena immediately noticed that Jurina was avoiding her gaze when she approached her. Yes, she was more than glad that she had arrived in time. But Jurina’s current attitude was worrying her more than anything.

“You… read the letter, didn’t you?” Rena asked tentatively. Somehow, a part of her still hoped she was only imagining the worse. The fact that Jurina didn’t bother to look at her or reply put an end to her last shred of hope. “I’m sorry you had to learn it this way,” Rena continued. Her words were still met by silence.

Jurina was still looking the other way when Rena tried to reach for her arm. If she refused to speak, then she would look into her eyes to discover how she felt. However, something completely unexpected happened. Just as she was about to touch her, Jurina pulled her arm away quickly.

Shock plastered Rena’s features at her reaction. Until hurt replaced it progressively. Rena was not naive: she knew Jurina would not take the news lightly. But this cold behavior? Her refusal to speak with her? She had not foreseen that kind of reaction at all. In fact, never in her life Jurina had acted this way with her before. Yes, they sometimes fought in the past. Their last unpleasant fight during the shooting of Majisuka Gakuen 4 was still imprinted in her mind. Jurina had shouted at her, something she very rarely did.

But this heavy silence? It was completely unsettling. And the fact that she was unable to look into her eyes wasn’t in the least helping.

“We have to talk about this,” Rena pleaded. She was lost. Jurina was being completely uncooperative. For the first time, she didn’t know how to act around her. What to say, or what to do.

From her peripheral vision, Rena noticed a taxi approaching. Jurina had noticed it as well, and was now taking a step forward. Rena pondered over what to do next. She couldn’t let Jurina go. Not like that. Not after what she just accidentally discovered. In a last desperate attempt, she caught her arm in a haste. This time, Jurina didn’t oppose any resistance to the gesture. But she didn’t react much for all that.

“Please let me explain myself,” Rena stammered.

Nothing was going according to her plans. She was supposed to sound strong and convincing when she would have this particular conversation with Jurina. She was doing the complete opposite. Her voice quivered in fear of not being listened. Of having made a terrible mistake by not telling Jurina the truth sooner.

Rena swallowed nervously when Jurina finally turned to look at her. Her eyes were so cold. Her face void of her typical joyful smile. Never Jurina had looked at her before in such a way. Not even during their fights. This reaction was something completely new to her. And it was terribly unsettling.

“What is there to talk about?” Jurina’s voice pierced through the chilly air of January. Her tone was icy. “You already made your decision.”

Rena wanted to reply, but no words managed to come out. Instead, she let go of Jurina’s arm, and watched her getting in the taxi powerlessly.





Tears were forming in her eyes when Rena stepped in the elevator of her building. She kept thinking back to her short encounter with Jurina. The few words that had been exchanged. The cold look Jurina had given her. It hurt so much. How did they come to that?

A few days ago, Jurina was still laughing and harboring the brightest smile ever. Why was she having the feeling she wasn’t about to see it anytime soon? Many emotions were currently spreading through her chest, but the dominating one was frustration. The fact that she had not been able to stop her was frustrating her to no end. Her words had no effect whatsoever on Jurina. She completely disregarded her pleas.

When Rena entered her apartment and removed her coat and shoes, she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. Except this time, it was out of deep sadness. She let them fall in silence. Her unsteady steps led her to her bedroom, and she let herself fall into her chair in front of her desk. Her glistening eyes fell on the letter addressed to her producer. The object that had provoked the anger of the young girl she loved so much.

Rena was feeling completely despondent. On one hand, she wanted to believe she had tried everything in her power to stop Jurina. On the other, she kept wondering what more she could have said to convince her to come back with her to the apartment.

Rena took her phone that was resting on the corner of the desk, and noticed that Jurina’s phone number was still displayed on the screen. That’s right. She had meant to call her earlier on. In a last attempt, she pressed the “call” button and placed the device against her ear. It rang again and again. Jurina never answered. Instead, Rena heard the voicemail a few seconds later.

A helpless, feeble murmur left Rena’s lips as she placed the phone back on her desk. “What have I done?”





It had already been six hours since Rena last spoke to Jurina. In the end, the young girl never called her back. When the day started, Rena had planned on finishing her graduation letter during the afternoon. But now, she was completely incapable of touching it. She was conscious she had many things to do now that her mind was made up about her graduation. A future to plan. However, Jurina was currently monopolizing all her thoughts.

More than anything, she wanted to see her and explain herself. But after their latest very tense conversation, she feared Jurina wouldn’t want to speak with her at all. Even less broach that touchy subject with her.

It was 8 PM when Rena heard a knock on her door. She looked up slowly from the kitchen table, not in the mood for any talking. She had currently her plate full of pasta, but she had barely touched the food. Rena seriously considered not answering. She wasn’t expecting anyone tonight. It was probably just a neighbor who came to ask her for a favor.

When she heard a second knock soon after, she got up from her chair much reluctantly. She really didn’t want to have any sort of conversation right now, but her conscience was preventing her from ignoring the visitor any further. She was definitely not in a good emotional state right now, and figured would need to try hard to greet her unexpected visitor with a polite smile on her face.

Rena opened the door, and was left speechless when she saw Jurina standing on the other side. A few seconds passed by without any word being exchanged. This time, Jurina was looking straight into her eyes. And her expression had considerably softened. Gone was her previous coldness. Rena was glad not to see such a deep, negative emotion into her eyes. But she hated as much the new emotion that now filled her eyes. Despair.

“Why?”

Words stayed stuck in Rena’s mouth at the sound of Jurina’s trembling voice. Right now, there was no word strong enough to describe how terrible she was feeling inside. This situation. Jurina’s attitude. Her feelings. She was at the origin of everything.

Rena knew it was time to explain Jurina her decision. She never expected the young girl to come around so fast, but she was thankful she did. Jurina deserved to know what had motivated her decision. Now, she was sure of it: she had made a mistake by not telling her sooner. The harm was already done. There was nothing she could do about that. Somehow, she guessed this terrible day was far from over.





Rena didn’t know how long she had been talking. Jurina had listened to her during her whole monologue, without interrupting her once. To be honest, Jurina’s quiet behavior startled her. She really expected her to stop her at some point, and try to change her mind about her decision. She didn’t. Not once.

Rena placed tentatively a hand on Jurina’s thigh, waiting for a reaction. The young girl wasn’t looking at her anymore, but staring right in front of her without saying anything. This silence didn’t suit her well. Rena couldn’t tell what was on her mind. And she definitely hated feeling so powerless.

Without warning, Jurina got up from the sofa. Rena watched her in surprise, until seeing her moving towards the entrance and putting her shoes on. That’s when it hit her. Jurina was leaving. Again.

“What are you doing?” Rena stood up at once from the sofa, unsettled by her actions. Was she really going to leave without expressing her feelings? Not, it was out of the question. She needed to let it out. To say what was on her mind. She couldn’t keep things to herself.

Jurina had already her hand on the handle of the front door when Rena embraced her from behind. She felt the young girl struggling against the gesture, but she held tight nevertheless. She certainly wasn’t about to let her go again. Jurina had come back because she needed answers. She had provided them, and now she wanted to hear Jurina’s thoughts.

“Let me go,” Jurina protested, trying to break free. Despite that, hope spread through Rena’s chest when she felt her struggle lacking its previous determination. She was starting to give in. But she needed to put an end to any last shred of resistance she had.

“I won’t,” Rena replied on a soft, but decided tone. “You need to talk to me.”

The struggle stopped and Rena saw Jurina’s fingers leaving the handle. Albeit that fact, her request was not met. No words left Jurina’s lips for a while, and she didn’t move either. Rena kept her arms around her waist. Somehow, she couldn’t help but fear the young girl would change her mind and leave abruptly. She didn’t want to take any chance.

All of a sudden, she heard it. At first, it was soft and subtle. Then, the sobbing became a bit louder. Rena shut her eyes, feeling the body against her trembling slightly. Jurina was finally letting it out. It was so painful to hear Jurina’s helpless crying. Rena tightened her hold around her waist.





Rena checked the time on the alarm clock: 1.30 AM. The young girl in her arms and laying in bed with her was finally asleep. But it was only the result of her physical and emotional exhaustion. Rena had listened Jurina crying for hours. She had done everything in her power to calm her down, but her comforting gestures and soothing words had little to no effect on her.

They didn’t eat at all. After Rena had managed to convince her to stay, they went straight to bed. Rena wasn’t hungry anyway. She didn’t even believe she could eat anything in her current emotional state. The knot in her stomach had not left her once since Jurina came back to her apartment.

Jurina’s never-ending crying had prevented the young girl from uttering a single word during the whole time. In the end, she did express her feelings. And it had been terribly painful for Rena to hear the sorrow she was causing her.

Rena guessed her earlier monologue wasn’t the end of this. Soon or later, when Jurina would finally be feeling a bit better, she would express her feelings with words. She’ll just have to patiently wait for that time to come.

Rena felt some movements in her arms, and she saw Jurina gazing at her. “I’m really sorry, Jurina,” Rena murmured. Albeit the fact she couldn’t see her because of the dark, it wasn’t hard to imagine the pain still present in her eyes. The sadness she had placed in her usually cheerful brown orbs. She knew she was going to see it again for the following weeks.

“Why are you apologizing?” Jurina replied in a small, weak voice. “You want this. No one is forcing you to graduate.”

No, Rena surely didn’t miss the slight bitterness in her tone. Nevertheless, she didn’t blame her for still being mad at her. Somehow, she half expected that kind of reaction. Plus, Jurina hard learned the truth in a terrible way. She had every right to be angry at her.

“Yes, I want to leave SKE48,” Rena answered, choosing her words carefully. “But I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, Jurina.”

Rena waited for a reply or any kind of reaction. She got none. In the end, Jurina didn’t add a single word. Nor did she reply to her declaration of love.

The fact that Jurina had come back and listened to her should give her hope that everything was going to be fine in the end. However, apprehension refused to leave her. She was feeling terribly insecure about their future. After all, she had now broken Jurina’s heart twice. Would she ever be able to forgive her for that?





TO BE CONTINUED
« Last Edit: January 18, 2017, 03:30:05 PM by sophcaro »
My WMatsui fanfics:

HEARTBEAT trilogy
- Heartbeat | Completed
- Partners | Completed
- Destiny | Completed

OTHER FANFICS
- Warriors | Ongoing
- Back in Time | Ongoing
- One Shot collection: Her Sun | Completed
- Fire and Water | On hiatus

Offline Genkikid

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (18/?) [WMatsui] (12/03/16)
« Reply #366 on: March 13, 2016, 03:38:27 AM »
The energetic Ju has a fragile heart  :cry: Why you like to make Ju cry??? :ptam-cry:

Offline genkingblack

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (18/?) [WMatsui] (12/03/16)
« Reply #367 on: March 13, 2016, 06:02:00 AM »
the moment I saw this thread's updating :on gay:

I didn't see that coming, not from the letter...

But I kinda see hope, like Jurina finally talk like seriously talk... when people shut down and not willing to talk its your cue that she doesnt care
but Jurina did, so I assume that she DOES care about Rena afterall.. she just mad, and needs time

I hope that Jurina won't do something reckless by saying break up or something...

thank for update, fyi i'll always waiting for your update even sometimes I forgot to left comment. have I told you that I love your writing style? its really good! :D
My Projects :
GenkingBlack's Vault [OS/Short Stories] Last update 4-Apr-17
Brave Enough On Going Last update 16-Mar-17
Love is Serious, When War is Involved   Hiatus Last Update 12-Mar-17
Heartsmith | On Going Last Update 19-Oct-17
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Offline Darathon

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (18/?) [WMatsui] (12/03/16)
« Reply #368 on: March 14, 2016, 03:40:58 PM »
Oh no, it's like when Rena graduated in real life. Jurina broke down crying.
I like the drama but I hope they resolve it eventually  :huhuh
Poor jurina.
Thanks for the update! Please update soon :D
Atsumina and Wmatsui for life.
Takamina Oshi!!!

Offline Minami-chan

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (18/?) [WMatsui] (12/03/16)
« Reply #369 on: March 14, 2016, 10:09:01 PM »
 :pleeease: :pleeease: :pleeease:

Offline niineechan

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (18/?) [WMatsui] (12/03/16)
« Reply #370 on: March 17, 2016, 08:57:47 AM »
I've just remembered the moment when Rena graduated... Ugh. My heart.... :fainted:
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Offline sophcaro

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (18/?) [WMatsui] (12/03/16)
« Reply #371 on: March 19, 2016, 10:09:41 AM »
Why you like to make Ju cry??? :ptam-cry:

I don't like to make Jurina cry at all. Trust me, it's as painful for me as it is for you.  :cry:

I didn't see that coming, not from the letter...
thank for update, fyi i'll always waiting for your update even sometimes I forgot to left comment. have I told you that I love your writing style? its really good! :D

What didn't you see coming? I don't really understand ^^
I work hard on my writing style, so I appreciate you telling me this  :heart:


Oh no, it's like when Rena graduated in real life. Jurina broke down crying.
I like the drama but I hope they resolve it eventually  :huhuh

Rena's graduation was bound to create drama. I think Jurina will need time to process it  :(

:pleeease: :pleeease: :pleeease:

Sorry for making you sad :nervous

I've just remembered the moment when Rena graduated... Ugh. My heart.... :fainted:

I know, right?  :cry:
My WMatsui fanfics:

HEARTBEAT trilogy
- Heartbeat | Completed
- Partners | Completed
- Destiny | Completed

OTHER FANFICS
- Warriors | Ongoing
- Back in Time | Ongoing
- One Shot collection: Her Sun | Completed
- Fire and Water | On hiatus

Offline sophcaro

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (19/?) [WMatsui] (20/03/16)
« Reply #372 on: March 20, 2016, 04:25:24 PM »
CHAPTER 19



Jurina exited Rena’s apartment in a rush and leaned her back against the door, completely shocked. She couldn’t believe the word she had just read on the letter: graduation. Rena was planning on graduating, and she had not told her anything about it! How was that possible? Jurina shook her head lightly: it wasn’t. Rena would never have made such a decision without informing her beforehand.

Jurina heard the door beside her opening, and she glanced at the old lady who was now staring at her in curiosity. Oh yes, she may have slammed the door while leaving Rena’s apartment. And the noise apparently didn’t go unnoticed from Rena’s quiet neighbor.

“Jurina-san, are you alright?” The woman addressed her with a slight frown.

Jurina immediately made a face, regretting her previous impulsive action. She never meant to close the door so abruptly. What prompted her to do it? Was it shock? Anger? Probably a mix of both.

“Matsuda-san, I’m sorry for the noise,” Jurina apologized quickly with a polite bow. Despite her words, she noticed that the frown upon the woman’s face was still much present. Obviously, the old lady was still awaiting some sort of explanation for her unusual behavior. An explanation she clearly wasn’t about to share with Rena’s neighbor. “Forgive me, but I have to go.”

Jurina inclined her head to the woman once last time, before turning on her heels and walking towards the elevator.





While waiting for her taxi to arrive, Jurina kept thinking again and again to what she had just discovered. The word was written in black and white but somehow, she still refused to believe it. Rena knew how badly Mariko’s graduation had hurt her. She had seen its effects on her health with her very own eyes! Not to mention, they had spoken about it again not so long ago. How could Rena think of making her go through that terrible experience again?

Jurina took her Smartphone out of her pocket, and started to dial Churi’s number. That’s when she suddenly heard Rena’s erratic voice calling her. And she froze. Jurina didn’t say anything. She waited in apprehension for Rena to make the first move. To tell her that she misread the letter. Instead, she did the complete opposite. She confirmed her deepest fear with her next words. I’m sorry you had to learn it this way.

Jurina felt her world crumbling down in an instant. And completely betrayed. From her peripheral vision, Jurina noticed Rena trying to reach for her arm. She pulled her arm away out of impulse. She simply couldn’t look at the older girl anymore. Even less let her touch her. Jurina ignored all her pleas one after another. Right now, she didn’t want to talk. She was furious. Furious at Rena for hiding such an important thing from her. And for even considering leaving SKE48. Leaving her behind. She knew her anger was definitely showing when she finally addressed Rena, but she couldn’t help it. What is there to talk about? You already made your decision. After that, she didn’t wait for Rena’s reply, and got into the taxi without second thoughts.





Churi immediately guessed something serious had happened when she opened her door, and saw a distressed Jurina standing on the doorstep. Earlier on, the young girl had sent her a text, asking her if she could come and see her. Churi had agreed, although she could tell something was wrong by the seriousness of her message. Jurina usually liked to fill her messages with cute smileys. There was none.

“Jurina. Is everything alright?” Churi asked in worry when the young girl was still staring at her in silence.

A memory suddenly invaded her mind. Wait. Didn’t Jurina told her a few days ago that January 30 was a special day? That’s right. It had been a year to the day both Matsui started dating. Jurina had mentioned making a surprise to Rena. She seemed so impatient and enthusiast about it. So why was she here? Why was she standing on her doorstep, and not at Rena’s place? Just as she was about to ask her, Jurina’s next words gave her the explanation she needed.

“Rena is graduating.”

Shock plastered Churi’s face. It was definitely not because of the revelation. After all, she had known about it for weeks. And had kept the secret from Jurina with much difficulty. No, what shocked her was the fact that Jurina had learned it today. Many questions juggled in Churi’s head. Why on earth did Rena choose to tell her today of all days? It was an incredibly stupid and insensitive idea.

In the end, she decided to keep her questions for later. Right now, her friend needed comfort, and she took a step forward to embrace Jurina tightly.





Churi really believed they would talk about Rena’s graduation. That it was precisely the reason why Jurina had come to see her. To seek comfort and answers. But after her declaration on her doorstep, Jurina didn’t mention it again. Churi really wished she could get inside Jurina’s head. Jurina had only told her about the letter she had discovered on Rena’s desk, before quickly changing the subject. When Churi tentatively tried to push further, Jurina simply said she didn’t want to talk about it and instead spend a carefree afternoon with her.

Churi was baffled when she heard those words. Jurina’s behavior didn’t make sense at all. When she herself heard the news of Airi’s graduation, she cried on Jurina’s shoulder. And spoke to her about it at length. Jurina was reacting in a completely unusual way. And she was now kneeling in front of the television and preparing the game console as if nothing happened. What on earth was going on with Jurina? She had been avoiding the elephant in the room for hours now.

Realization suddenly hit Churi. Why didn’t she see it before? Jurina was in complete denial. She was refusing to accept the truth of Rena’s graduation.

“You need to talk to her,” Churi affirmed.

She noticed Jurina freezing briefly at her words, before resuming what she was doing as if she had not said anything. This time, Churi didn’t let it go and walked towards her. She knelt by her side and caught Jurina’s arm as she was about to place a DVD in the player.

“I don’t want to see her,” Jurina murmured, avoiding her gaze in unease. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”

Churi guessed much. This situation reminded her so much of her situation with Airi. She couldn’t even look at her best friend after the revelation. And it took her a few days to finally look straight into her eyes without crying. “I know it’s going to be hard, and I’ll still be here if you want to come back after that. But first, you need to let her explain herself.”

Churi knew how stubborn Jurina could be when her mind was set on something. If the young girl was absolutely decided not to talk to Rena right now, she would choose not to insist. However, she really hoped her words would manage to persuade her. Delaying the inevitable would only make things worse. Churi was positive about that.

Jurina didn’t reply. Instead, she leaned her head on her shoulder. The fact that Jurina didn’t protest told her she had thankfully managed to convince her. Churi laced their fingers together, and felt Jurina’s hand slightly trembling inside hers. Churi shared her pain. After all, she had been in Jurina’s shoes not so long ago. Airi’s graduation had also affected her a lot. However, she feared Rena’s graduation was going to have an even worse impact on her sensitive, young friend.

“I’ll always be here for you,” Churi affirmed softly. “I’ll never leave your side.”

Churi felt Jurina squeezing her hand lightly in reply.





It was just a nightmare. And she was going to wake up anytime soon. That’s what Jurina kept telling herself when she opened her eyes that Sunday morning, and stared at the ceiling of Rena’s bedroom. Did she even manage to sleep after yesterday’s revelation? She surely didn’t recall it, her mind refusing to think about anything else but Rena’s unexpected graduation.

She felt completely drained. And she didn’t need to take a look at herself in the mirror to guess how bad she was looking. The last time she cried so much, it was at the hospital in Tokyo, when Rena said those fateful words. Those words that put an immediate end to her confession.

It’s just the fruit of my imagination, Jurina told herself another time. After all, it wouldn’t be the first bad dream she would be having about the older Matsui. She had had plenty of those after Rena involuntarily broke her heart that day. The older girl currently sleeping next to her surely couldn’t be thinking about graduating.

Jurina felt the mattress shifting, and she tilted her head to watch Rena waking up. The apprehensive look the latter gave her confirmed her fear. The letter addressed to their producer on Rena’s desk. Her very short conversation with her in front of the taxi waiting line. Her visit to Churi. And finally, the words Rena had said when she decided to come back to her apartment. She had definitely not imagined yesterday’s events.

Jurina held back the tears that were threatening to fall. This was indeed a complete nightmare. But this time, she was well awake.

Rena wanted her to speak. To share her thoughts with her. Despite fully knowing that, no words could come out of her mouth. Somehow, she feared the tears would fall anew is they put that sensitive topic on the table again. Jurina saw Rena reaching for her hand, and she felt it trembling inside hers. It was very subtle, but Jurina didn’t miss it.

Jurina knew what Rena was doing. It was their ritual when they slept together. As soon as Jurina would wake up, she would hold Rena’s hand and lace their fingers together. As for Rena, she would always kiss her forehead with affection as soon as she opened her eyes.

This morning, their little routine was brutally disrupted. Jurina didn’t place her hand in Rena’s as usual. Instead, Rena was the one to tentatively reach for hers. And the gesture was more hesitant than anything. When Rena leaned forward to kiss her forehead, Jurina didn’t let her and moved back. She slipped her hand out of Rena’s the moment after.

She had done it without thinking. All of a sudden, Jurina was feeling very uncomfortable with the intimate gestures. Rena was laying just a few inches away, and she felt the irrepressible need to put some distance between them. She read the hurt Rena’s eyes quite well, and turned her head the other way. She had no right to look at her like that. Not after what she had confessed yesterday. Not after the terrible pain she had caused her.

Jurina’s attention got caught by the red letters flashing on Rena’s alarm clock: 9.15 AM. For once, she was thankful not having to work today. She didn’t know how she would have explained her sleepless, puffy eyes to others.

Jurina straightened up and took a seat on the side of the bed. She still felt awfully tired, but her brain was refusing to shut down, and unfortunately keeping her awake. She simply knew she would be incapable of going back to sleep. Besides, she couldn’t stay next to the older Matsui anymore. Jurina could almost feel Rena’s eyes boring into her back. Watching her every move. It was making her ill at ease.

Jurina’s chest tightened. She never thought she would experience this atrocious pain again. She strongly believed her suffering had ended when Rena reciprocated her feelings. It took time, but her broken heart had finally managed to heal. And now, it was shattered again. Because of the exact same girl.

“Jurina…?”

Jurina sighed softly when she heard the hesitant voice calling her behind her back. She guessed Rena wanted to hear that they were going to be alright. That yes, she was hurt, but the pain would eventually fade over time. But how could she say those words when she didn’t believe them? Somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to lie.

Jurina stood up and walked towards the bathroom. Her steps were somewhat unbalanced. She paused just in front of the door, pondering on what to say to Rena. She couldn’t give her the reassurance she needed. Her heart was still terribly aching after yesterday. But she also didn’t want to ignore Rena’s presence. Nor her desire for small communication.

“I’m not ready to talk about it yet,” Jurina declared, her eyes still glued on the door in front of her. She was conscious of the slight tremble in her voice, and did her best to compose herself. It proved to be harder than she thought. Nonetheless, she managed to prevent tears from falling when she continued. “I just have one request: I don’t want to be present when you’ll announce it publicly.”

Jurina didn’t wait for an answer. She pushed the door and entered, before closing it behind her. She knew that simple - but unusual - gesture would be enough information for Rena that the matter was over for her. That she didn’t wish to pursue this conversation. She waited a few seconds, listening carefully. Relief filled her chest when Rena stayed silent and didn’t join her in the bathroom.





Rena stepped out of the television studio, and let her gaze wander in the crowded streets of Tokyo, while waiting for her taxi to arrive. Despite the fact that it was Sunday, there were a lot of people walking down the streets. Japan’s capital never truly slept. It was always bubbling with energy, no matter the time or the day. And it was especially the case in this famous area of the city.

Just after lunch, she had taken the train from Nagoya to Tokyo, in order to join the other Nogizaka46 members. She was supposed to stay in the capital for four whole days, for the promotion of the group new single. She had performed the song live just half an hour ago on a television show. And had at the end announced her graduation.

Rena felt uncomfortable with the way it happened. She never intended on announcing her graduation today. Her initial idea was to tell Jurina in two weeks, just before announcing it publicly during a SKE48 showcase in Nagoya. However, yesterday’s unforeseen event had completely shaken her original plan. Rena knew she couldn’t keep up with her original plan as soon as Jurina learned the truth.

People would have guessed something was wrong as soon as Jurina would have made a public appearance on Monday. The young girl had never been good at concealing her emotions. Of course, Rena knew Jurina would have kept quiet about it, but her fake smile wouldn’t have fooled anyone. It would have been obvious to everyone - members and staff included - that something terribly bad had happened during the week-end. Moreover, it would have been too hard for Jurina to stay silent about it for two more weeks. Rena couldn’t bear to inflict her more pain. She had already done enough.

That was why Rena had made this last minute decision. This morning, Jurina had made it clear she didn’t want to be present during the announcement anyway. Her statement had startled her to say the least, but she had not contradicted her. It had been so painful to see Jurina keeping her distance and denying her affection.

No matter how deeply it hurt her, she was going to respect her wishes. If Jurina needed time to process it, then she would give it to her. She would grant her some space as well, while still keeping a cautious eye on the SKE’s ace. Those following weeks were crucial. The older Matsui was afraid of what Jurina might do to herself. She had seen her neglecting her health a few times before, and she didn’t wish to see the past repeat itself.

Just before Jurina had left her apartment, she had asked her in concern where she was going next. Somehow, she didn’t like the idea of Jurina being alone right now. It relieved her to hear she was going to spend the rest of the day at Churi’s place. She knew her dear friend would take good care of her during those moments of hardship. Until Jurina would feel a bit better, and come back to her.

She was already missing her loving smile and warm embrace.





TO BE CONTINUED
« Last Edit: January 18, 2017, 03:31:00 PM by sophcaro »
My WMatsui fanfics:

HEARTBEAT trilogy
- Heartbeat | Completed
- Partners | Completed
- Destiny | Completed

OTHER FANFICS
- Warriors | Ongoing
- Back in Time | Ongoing
- One Shot collection: Her Sun | Completed
- Fire and Water | On hiatus

Offline Minami-chan

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (19/?) [WMatsui] (20/03/16)
« Reply #373 on: March 20, 2016, 10:40:20 PM »
the point of view of Jurina.
thank you very much.
that moment more melodramatic! I love them!

Offline Genkikid

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (19/?) [WMatsui] (20/03/16)
« Reply #374 on: March 20, 2016, 11:55:46 PM »
It amaze me how you can write a perfect expressions of feelings. Yet it also sadden me that it was written so well it feels to real..  :cry:
Hope Jurina can face Rena soon. They really need to talk it out soon

Offline faanpal

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (19/?) [WMatsui] (20/03/16)
« Reply #375 on: March 21, 2016, 06:41:46 AM »
Full of wmatsui moment, yet in heartbreaking atmosphere. :-(
Jaa... 48 is about skinship

Offline genkingblack

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (19/?) [WMatsui] (20/03/16)
« Reply #376 on: March 21, 2016, 07:18:05 AM »
What i mean i didnt see that coming from previous chapter is
i expect that Jurina will got the news from other, not the letter

I dunno reading this jurina's pov is just sad... devastated
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Offline Darathon

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (19/?) [WMatsui] (20/03/16)
« Reply #377 on: March 23, 2016, 12:14:18 AM »
 :cry: :cry:
Atsumina and Wmatsui for life.
Takamina Oshi!!!

Offline Minami-chan

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (19/?) [WMatsui] (20/03/16)
« Reply #378 on: March 27, 2016, 11:32:36 PM »
 :cry: :cry:

Offline niineechan

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Re: Heartbeat (20/20 END) + Partners (19/?) [WMatsui] (20/03/16)
« Reply #379 on: March 30, 2016, 01:38:53 AM »
Ju, you should've not slam the door. The neighbor was startled. Poor neighbor.. :cry:
And Ju looks so fragile. Her love for Rena is too strong, maybe? Graduation is a big thing, i know. But she's still her girlfriend, right? But yeah, Rena hid the truth from her. I can feel the pain.. Poor Jurina.. :cry:
As for that, Ju's being so cold to Rena. That kissing monster even avoided Rena's kiss! Our dear Rena must've missed her lovely Ju so much.. Poor Rena.. :cry:
And this fic is written so well that it feels like i've being pulled in to the scene that i can see the tears, the painful expressions, the throbbing chest. Urk! U r killing me, Sophcaro-san.. Poor me.. :fainted:
Anyway, i love to see the bond between Ju n Churi. Nice! :on GJ:
Kill me more with ur updates! :grin:
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