CHAPTER 3
Airi was the first person that gave Rena the real definition of a broken heart. Yes, her own best friend Furukawa Airi that had been used to be the first one to text her on her birthday.
Two years agoRena couldn’t sleep. Airi just left Rena’s apartment few hours ago and rushed back to Toyohashi. She should had a sleepover at Rena’s place in Nagoya like their plan. Rena felt terribly guilty and sad at the same time.
Rena and Airi were childhood friends and they practically spent most of their time together since they had been in the same school; from elementary school to high school. They had been in a different college; Rena had chosen architect study while Airi had followed her passion to study graphic design. Since she was a kid, Airi had always wanted to be a mangaka artist.
Despite had been being in different college, they often hung out together since they had lived in the same neighbourhood. It was before Rena moved to Nagoya to work on a real-estate company three years ago; meanwhile Airi was still in Toyohashi to be a mangaka artist in a small studio at town.
Rena and Airi were the only best friend for each other. They both were introverts, so they understood each other very well it was almost like a telepathy. Their appearance was also similar. Their long black hair was something that people couldn’t ignore when they talked about them. However, while Rena’s introversion made her look distant and somehow cool, Airi was more shy and awkward. Airi was more expressive in her drawings.
Rena couldn’t tell since when that she realised she liked Airi more than just a friend; more than a best friend. She felt it was not right and she was not sure if Airi could return her feeling. Airi adored her; Rena knew it wholeheartedly. Rena could also feel Airi’s affection to her, but that could be completely different with what she felt about her now. Rena would never know if she didn’t ask her.
They both were 25 years old, and Rena thought they were mature enough to talk about this matter. So when she knew Airi would sleep at her apartment, she thought it would be a perfect time to confess to her.
Even though Rena prepared her heart for a rejection, when it really came she couldn’t believe it could be this awful. Airi rejected her without any reason.
“Rena, I can’t believe you ruin our friendship!” That was all she said; that was the last thing she ever said to Rena before she left Rena’s apartment. Rena believed she deserved some explanation but Airi just went away. Rena didn’t know how this could end wrong. She didn’t expect Airi would be very angry at her. Rena never saw Airi again ever since, not even when she went home in Toyohashi. The last time she heard Airi moved to Tokyo to work in a bigger film studio. Rena texted Airi to congratulate her, but she never got a reply.
Rena didn’t only lose someone she secretly loved for years, she also lost her only best friend.
Jurina’s intention to leave Nagoya was still on Rena’s mind. Rena didn’t want Jurina to be like the second Airi. Realisation hit her hard when she found herself didn’t want to lose Jurina.
Their lunch ended up nothing but awkward and uneasy for both of them. Rena still remembered what Jurina said yesterday.
“Besides, I don’t have anything to make me stay here.”
Maybe, she thought,
maybe I could make her stay.
Rena felt Monday morning came too late. The night before she couldn’t sleep well. Her mind was occupied with the thoughts of her fellow architect. She wanted to meet Jurina. She had something to say to her.
The luck was not on Rena’s side. The first text she received was from Jurina, informing her that she would take a day off today.
[Matsui Jurina: Rena, I’m sorry I can’t go to work today. I got fever; I felt unwell since yesterday. I will meet a doctor soon.]
Rena couldn’t help but felt worry about Jurina’s health. She called her right away. Rena knew Jurina was a tough girl but she was only by herself right now.
When she woke up this morning, Rena didn’t have any specific plan after office hours. But now she knew.
Jurina still felt dizzy despite having taken the medicine that the doctor gave her. After her doctor’s visit to her apartment, she only stayed on the bed all day long. Jurina didn’t know what time it was when she heard her apartment’s bell rang.
She didn’t expect anyone to come, but when the bell rang for the second time, she tried to move out of her bed. Jurina believed she looked like a mess right now, but she didn’t care. She wanted to know who came to her apartment– she glance at the clock on the living room – at this hour; 6 o’clock in the evening.
When she opened the door, she was more than surprised to find a girl standing in front of her. From all the people she could ever think of,
why her? “Annin?”
Why now?“Good evening, Jurina.”
That girl with a long brown hair casually kissed Jurina’s cheek before she let herself enter the apartment. It was like she had done it for many times before. Her concern voice didn’t go unnoticed when she placed her hand on Jurina’s forehead. Jurina stepped back a little.
“Feeling unwell, Jurina?”
“Why are you here?” Jurina retorted.
Annin sat on the blue sofa in the living room. She looked so relaxed despite being uninvited. And unwanted.
“I moved here,” Annin said. When Jurina didn’t give any respond, she continued, “I personally asked my boss to transfer me to Nagoya.”
Jurina stayed still. She didn’t sit on the sofa despite feeling dizzy. She wanted to show Annin that she didn’t wish to have a longer conversation with her. But Annin could be a very stubborn girl. She continued her explanation, completely ignored Jurina’s disagreement look.
“I admit it that I was wrong, Jurina,” Annin tried to reach Jurina’s hand which only met with another gesture of rejection.
“I want to make our relationship works.”
“We are
not in a relationship anymore,” Jurina snapped.
“I know. It was my fault. I can’t survive long distance relationship, Jurina. You know it.”
“You only survived for a month before you wanted us to break up.” Jurina didn’t mean it but she could feel the anger in her voice.
“I regret it, Jurina. That’s why I come here. I haven’t found any apartment yet, I’m staying in a hotel. I thought we could live together-“
“No,” Jurina have had enough, “Annin, I really don’t want to talk to you right now.”
Annin carefully considered her options. She knew it well when Jurina meant each of her words.
“Okay. I’m leaving you then. I hope we can find another time to talk.” She stood up.
Jurina didn’t answer.
“I miss you, Jurina.”
That was her last attempt to get Jurina’s attention. Annin waited for Jurina to say something back to her, but she didn’t.
When Annin finally left her apartment, Jurina felt relieved. She didn’t need any more drama to add in her life now. Just when she was about to go back to bed, the bell rang again.
Really? She thought.
Annin never really changed. She was as stubborn as Jurina could remember. Jurina thought she should tell her straight forward that she was not interested to talk about their past relationship.
Jurina opened the door and she was surprised to find another girl in front of her door.
“Rena?”
Rena noticed well Jurina’s surprised look. The older Matsui smiled at her and Jurina swore that was the best thing that ever happened to her that day. They could spend practically five days in a week together, but never once Rena came to her apartment.
“May I come in?”
“Ah, yes. Sure. Please...”
“How are you, Jurina? Still feeling unwell?”
Jurina took a brief look at herself from a small mirror decorating her living room. She hoped she didn’t look that awful.
“Yeah… But I’m feeling better now…,” she said.
Like, way better now that you are here, Rena. Jurina added those words in her head.
“I left the office early to come here. I can tell you haven’t had dinner, Jurina.”
“I don’t feel like eating,” Jurina sighed.
“Wait until I cook you dinner,” Rena’s teasing tone startled Jurina.
What.“Where’s the kitchen, Jurina?”
What?!Jurina slowly registered what Rena asked. She was afraid it was only her imagination. What if she was too sick that she imagined things – from Annin to Rena?
“Jurina, are you alright?”
“Yeah. It’s just…”
Jurina looked at her and realised Rena couldn’t be more real. The girl who stole her heart was really standing in front of her. And now she wanted to cook for her. Jurina hated being sick because she couldn’t stand doing nothing aside from sleeping and taking a rest. But now, she had a completely different idea about her condition. She was beginning to believe it was a blessing in disguise.
Jurina noticed the plastic bag Rena carried. She could tell Rena bought some vegetables along her way here. She might have lost her appetite, she couldn’t wait to taste Rena’s cooking.
It took almost an hour for Rena to cook a simple chicken soup for Jurina. Rena might not be a very good cook, yet she believed she could cook a chicken soup well. After all, it was her family receipt. Her mom used to prepare her soup when she was sick.
While Rena was cooking in the kitchen, Jurina didn’t help much. She just sat and every now and then would take a look at the busy girl. She wondered why Rena was being nice –
too nice – to her tonight. Was it because of her plan to leave Nagoya for Yokohama? Jurina felt a pang in her chest because of her own thoughts. Her head was dizzy again.
When Rena finished cooking, Jurina helped her prepare the table. That was the least she could do. Both of them now were now sitting next to each other.
“How is it?”
Rena excitedly looked at Jurina with her first spoonful of the chicken soup.
“It’s… nice.”
Jurina didn’t lie. The soup was nice; it made her feel warm.
“I’m happy to hear that,” Rena smiled.
They ate silently. Jurina was still bothered by her previous thoughts. This moment would be wonderful if she was not overthinking. She slowly ate the soup to enjoy every sip of it. If only she could freeze time.
“You seem to enjoy your dinner so much, that you forgot how to speak,” Rena playfully said.
“It’s the first time you cook for me. I really enjoy it. Thank you,” Jurina looked at the bowl sadly.
…and it could be the la-“I can cook for you another time, you know.”
There was something about what Rena just said. Jurina couldn’t decipher its meaning.
Rena hesitantly reached for Jurina’s hand.
“Jurina, please stay…”
“I-I don’t understand.”
“You know about my story with Airi. I… still can’t get over her. I’m not sure about my feelings for you. But I know for sure that I don’t want to lose you. I like you, Jurina.”
“Yeah. Airi. Of course...” Jurina mentally cursed herself for giving more importance to the fact Rena brought Airi into their conversation, rather than on the fact that Rena clearly stated she liked her. Sometimes, she really hated her own selective hearing.
“It takes time for me to love someone. I might sound selfish, but please… would you give me more time to be sure about us?”
“For how long, Rena? We stay friends until you can make up your mind?”
The tension in the room was getting heavier.
“I don’t know…” Rena felt helpless. Then, something crossed her mind. “I never had a girlfriend before. I think it’s nice to have one.” Rena was feeling so nervous, she couldn’t even look at Jurina.
This girl. Sometimes, she really speaks in riddles. Jurina groaned. She was not good at reading between the lines; she needed to make it clear. “Are you confessing to me?”
“I think so?”
The tension dropped and everything seemed lighter for Jurina. She didn’t need to clarify. This was the right moment; and she didn’t want to lose it.
“Okay,” Jurina quickly said, before Rena could have the chance to change her mind or realise what she said.
“Okay?”
“Let’s try this, Rena. You’ll see: I can be an amazing girlfriend.” Jurina sounded so sure about herself.
“So, you won’t go? You’ll stay here?”
“I have a reason to stay here. So, yes. I’ll stay here. Will you stay here?”
Rena was confused. “Yes, sure. Why did you even ask me that? I’m not going anywhere.”
“I mean… will you stay here tonight? Your girlfriend is sick and she is weak now and-”
“I can see she’s feeling much better now,” Rena couldn’t help but laugh.
Jurina could predict Rena would reject her idea. At least, she tried.
“But… I will consider it if she finishes the food I cooked for her,” Rena pretended to think.
“Really? Then I will finish everything.”
“But I didn’t bring a change of clothes.”
“Don’t worry, your girlfriend has plenty.”
Rena was amused by Jurina’s words. Jurina was her old cheerful self again, and Rena realised that even when she was sick, Jurina was still terribly cute.
Rena didn’t understand how she ended up in Jurina’s bedroom. Her initial thought when she planned to visit Jurina’s apartment was to make her stay. She didn’t plan to confess. She didn’t plan to get herself a girlfriend.
A girlfriend.It was new to her.
What if I screw it up? What if Jurina expects too much from me? Rena was terribly worried. She wore Jurina’s pyjamas; she could smell Jurina’s scent all over her body. Earlier on, she clearly didn’t think straight. Rena felt like she was playing with fire. Jurina was already in her pyjamas, and could see Rena being slightly uncomfortable on the bed.
“I’m sorry, I only have one bed.”
“It’s okay…”
“I shouldn’t have asked you to stay here tonight. You might not feel comfortable.”
“It’s okay, Jurina. I’m the one who decided to stay here.”
Jurina sat on the far left of the bed. Rena was on the right side.
“You can actually come closer,” Rena told Jurina.
They both lied down on the bed.
“You know I won’t try anything unless you are okay with it, right?” Jurina looked back at her.
“Yes, I know.” Rena changed her position to face Jurina.
“I wonder if I can kiss you-” Jurina said it almost inaudible.
“What?” Rena was flabbergasted.
“…on the cheek?”
“Okay, on the cheek.”
Before Rena changed her mind, Jurina kissed her on the cheek. Quick yet tender. She could change direction and kiss her lips easily, but she held herself. She needed to gain Rena’s trust first. A simple kiss on her cheek was enough. For now.
“Jurina?”
“Yes?”
“When did you realise you liked me?”
“Hmm...” Jurina leaned on the edge of the bed. “The first time I met you, when I was introduced to your team, I had this impression that you were a serious – no – cold person.”
“You are not the first person to tell me that. Did I look intimidating?”
“Intimidating? No. You looked… indifferent. You seemed not to care about anyone or anything than your work. Until one day, you suddenly asked me to have dinner with you. You noticed that I was not my usual self.
You, from all people at the office.”
Jurina made a short pause, before continuing. “We had dinner and we talked about random things. We didn’t talk about work; you didn’t ask what was wrong and I really appreciated that. Then I realised that you were… special. I wanted to know more about you. It was like… peeling onions.”
“Peeling onions? Really?” Rena laughed.
“You had so many layers, but I was willing to make the effort to know you better. That was why I insisted to pick you up to work every morning. I was happy just to drive you and talk to you.”
“I’m touched, Jurina. Thank you…”
Jurina moved back on her side, before turning the light off. Her headache had disappeared, and her fever was long forgotten although she still felt a bit cold despite the normal temperature. She tightly clutched the blanket, before suddenly feeling Rena hugging her from behind, effectively keeping her warm.
(to be continued)