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Author Topic: When Love Hurts  (Read 83941 times)

Offline glcorps2002

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #460 on: December 24, 2006, 08:31:15 AM »
I agree that Erika should have had a harsher punnishment. And I like how you have everyone with someone on christmas. If feels bad to be alone on the holidays.

Offline MyDearYossi

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #461 on: December 24, 2006, 10:29:04 AM »
I love this fic!:inlove:  And ending was great. It's Christmas Eve now, so reading this was my best present.

I just want to say THANKS len.chan. I will be missing the feeling when I saw a new chapter here.

And Merry Christmas to you and everyone else too!

Offline len.chan

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #462 on: December 28, 2006, 10:42:41 PM »
thank you guys, for all the love and support you've shown.
so, people don't want an epilogue? ok.. less work hahah XD
but I'm going to say something... after holidays I'm thinking to start a new fic and something like an spin off from WLH we'll see if I can make both at the same time XD

Offline 00HB

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #463 on: December 29, 2006, 06:19:06 PM »
Yeee! We'll wait anxiously! ^^
I needed to put al least four letters... ¬¬'

Offline cool_kickin_dude

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #464 on: December 29, 2006, 08:53:48 PM »
I've read the chapters and the ending got me. I was confused over. You might want to go ahead and put a short epilogue spanning a couple of months later to see if anybody would still be together

Offline JFC

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #465 on: December 29, 2006, 10:53:44 PM »
Quote from: len.chan;269488
so, people don't want an epilogue? ok.. less work hahah XD
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! :kcrazy: :ON@_@:

EPILOGUE!!! EPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILOGUE!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPILOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGUE!!!

:ONfrustrated: :ONpleeease: :ONcry: :ONtantrum: :MKwhine:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline len.chan

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EPILOGUE
« Reply #466 on: December 31, 2006, 06:22:41 PM »
well, seeing JFC desperate post XD I've made a short epilogue. don't expect too much 'cause is just a little, conclusive chapter showing something a like two months after the end.
please, enjoy it and HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ^^


************

When Love Hurts
A new start




Yoshizawa was trying to breathe normally but her heart beat faster within every second. She was used to the big stage, the shouts from the crowd, the crazy fans.., but now the butterflies in her stomach were beginning to be more like elephants. Why she was so nervous this time?

She looked first at her right, then at her left and finally stuck her eyes in the ground and released a deep sigh.

I’m gonna kill Gocchin for this…


***




“Yocchan? Are you all right?

Fujimoto saw the shock on her girlfriend’s face after hearing Tsunku’s news and went towards her to check if she was ok, but when she arrive near Yossi, the taller made her to move back.

“You’re crazy!” shouted Momusu’s leader.
“Hey, I think it’s a great idea”

Gocchin’s comment made Yoshizawa turn to the soloist and send her a glare, but Maki remained calm, leant against Tsunku’s desk, with a smile that irritated Yossi.

“You expect me to be in a group with my girlfriend, my too ex-girlfriends and someone who probably hates me for stealing the love of her life…” she said turning to her boss again and with a more relaxed tone in her voice “There’s no way this works…”
“To be honest, it wasn’t going to be like this…” the man leant against his chair and look at the five girls in front of him “I wanted a solo, after all is your song, but Nakazawa-san suggested the unit as a way to rebuild the bonds of the family. I’m still not sure what she was talking about, though”

At this point, Hitomi banged the desk in rage again and scared the other girls.

“That’s another question” she said with her eyes glued to the wooden table trying to not exceed the limits with her boss “How the hell that song arrived to you?”
“I guess that’s my fault” answered Maki raising her hand before Tsunku could tell anything “You said it was trash so I took it, gave it to some people to make the arrangements and, someway, it ended upon Tsunku-san’s desk. Come on, that song deserves to be singed and you deserve to sing it”

Yossi seemed to give up finally and dropped on the chair behind her, defeated.

“Hey, let’s do it” said Miki sweetly and kneeling next to her girlfriend and taking her hand “I want to sing that song with you”


***


If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have the strength enough…

Yoshizawa felt a hand taking hers and, as a miracle, the insecurity disappeared. She looked at the smaller girl at her side and smiled.

It happened so much since that night, since you opened your heart to me and saved my life…

“These two are so cute~” commented Maki watching the scene.
“Look who’s talking. How’s Shiba-chan doing?” strike back Miki.
“That’s none of your business…”
“You know…” whispered Rika-chan “Ayumi told me…”
“Shut up!”

Maki’s shout made everybody laugh and the pressure for the performance seemed to evaporate. Even with their differences, the problems, the loves and hates, they still could have fun together.

“Girls” said Yocchan with solemnity as the leader that she was and taking all hands together “Let’s enjoy today, let’s make it a new start”



The end
« Last Edit: December 31, 2006, 06:24:52 PM by len.chan »

Offline _Hitomi_

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #467 on: December 31, 2006, 08:33:13 PM »
I love it!
I hope this unit will exist some day
Thanks once again len.chan

Offline JFC

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #468 on: January 01, 2007, 09:00:27 AM »
Quote from: len.chan;271471
well, seeing JFC desperate post XD I've made a short epilogue. don't expect too much 'cause is just a little, conclusive chapter showing something a like two months after the end.
:D :D :D


Quote from: len.chan;271471
“Look who’s talking. How’s Shiba-chan doing?” strike back Miki.
“That’s none of your business…”
“You know…” whispered Rika-chan “Ayumi told me…”
“Shut up!”

Gold right there. :lol:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline Mikan

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #469 on: January 01, 2007, 11:42:50 AM »
Ok so I went through and read it beginnign to end.

Len.chan, it was so sweet it really moved me.

I started to review my position in life with all those who I loved. You tale is inspirational. I would like to make a classics thread or something where the story is placed so people can read it uninterrupted by comments, from beginnging to end. That would be nice I think.

I really enjoyed the final chapter with Miki making the wish and the snow and ah...SWEETNESS!! my heart finally ached at that last moment. I tried so hard to keep it all together but that final moment there really hit me :)

My favourite moment apart from that would be the massive intervention with all the girls and Yuko screams at them "Raise your fucking hands"
It just really suits her and imagining that moment gives me stitches.

Maki is a real player in this story but I like that she found some sort of content love in the end.

Wow, Rika is a real psycho but not as much as Erika.

Miki is Miki. Hot headed and just generally hot. Im glad that she threw a few well deserved punches because I couldnt think of her going through all this and not kicking someone's ass.

Yossui seems rather reserved and I think by saying that I'll get a lot of disagreement from other readers. Thats just what I picked up. She internalises things and apparently this is what she is like in real life.

About aya...hmm...well I liked her role. I like the position she took. How she, dispite the pain it caused her, let Miki go. I suppose she had the most realistic story. You know, when someone loves you but you ignore it. But once that love goes, you feel empty and do anything to have it back. I must admit I found myself secretly chanting "kiss her, dammit Miki!! She's better than Yossui"
But then I slapped myself and reverted back to my YoMiki shipping.

Love you Len.Chan.
Lets see that cover, ok?
I cant believe the story is over  ( -_-)
Im glad you wrote it ^^

Read the complete Doki Doki!!

Offline rndmnwierd

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #470 on: January 02, 2007, 07:46:13 AM »
It's going to take more talent than I have to fix the damage you've done to Erika's reputation. Damn you, lol. Overall, loved the whole story, I'll have to go back and read the thing in one sitting to get the full effect, or just to relive the happy/sadness.

Love love loved! the epilogue, I'm glad things could begin to work out for them all. Except Erika.... Damn you....

Offline chao_88

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #471 on: January 02, 2007, 10:19:39 AM »
i've read the whole story, and it's really great,,,! veru touching, love the epilogue too,,,

Offline MyDearYossi

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When Love Hurts
« Reply #472 on: January 02, 2007, 04:46:02 PM »
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! EPILOGUE!!!!!:ONluvluv1:

Offline len.chan

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cover
« Reply #473 on: January 04, 2007, 08:57:01 PM »
it feels weird to post the cover when the story it's finished but, anyway, 'cause Mikan requested it, here it is XD

*aaah~ Yocchan.. doshite??! :ONcry: *


It's plain and simple, but I like things that way :P

aah.. one more thing..

Quote from: MyDearYossi
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! EPILOGUE!!!!! :ONluvluv1:


I love that kind of comments XDXD

Offline lollipopgirl

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Re: When Love Hurts
« Reply #474 on: August 31, 2007, 02:49:01 PM »
My eyes hurt  :lol:
I just read this whole fic AND all the comments and no joke it took me about 7 hours coz i read the chapters real slow so I could absorb everything

This is just wonderful and I am sure by now you have written more (do point me to them :P) but this being the 1st and such a great first makes it so special.
I'm kinda speechless just running through everything that happened in my head, and *gasp* you made me feel sorry for Rika which trust me, is hard to do ;)

Now I am so tired, its almost 1am and I have to work in 7 hours but my final point can anyone show me if there was been any Shicchin written coz I am now so  :wub: :inlove: :heart: over them (they made my heart skip a beat many times)

Oh oh oh and I forgot, the last line in chapter 20 "Great love is that one that shakes your soul, the one that makes you smile even if you wanna cry, that changes the world around you…

That’s why, even if it hurts sometimes, I wanna love and be loved in return."
means a lot for me right now is probably one of my favourite quotes I have ever heard anyway! :heart:

Thanks for this amazing story.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2007, 02:52:07 PM by lollipopgirl »

Offline anammm

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Re: When Love Hurts
« Reply #475 on: September 04, 2007, 02:22:57 AM »
My eyes hurt  :lol:
I just read this whole fic AND all the comments
ME TOO lol
congratulations on the creativity, man, really. I think I'll not read another fic for sometime, I still have to recover from this one. (oh, and the links for the perv chapters are broken, if len still reads this thread, you should fiz it, I went crazy looking for it :P)
Yossi <3 Rika <3 Timu Ke <3

Offline Kreuz_Asakura

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Re: When Love Hurts
« Reply #476 on: September 04, 2007, 03:22:15 AM »
My eyes hurt  :lol:
I just read this whole fic AND all the comments
ME TOO lol
congratulations on the creativity, man, really. I think I'll not read another fic for sometime, I still have to recover from this one. (oh, and the links for the perv chapters are broken, if len still reads this thread, you should fiz it, I went crazy looking for it :P)
You could go to Len.chan's Blog, There you can find all his fics, including this

Offline katatsumuri

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Re: When Love Hurts
« Reply #477 on: September 04, 2007, 03:53:59 AM »
You could go to Len.chan's Blog, There you can find all his fics, including this
Her fics. Our great Len is a lady :)

Offline Kreuz_Asakura

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Re: When Love Hurts
« Reply #478 on: September 04, 2007, 04:33:23 AM »
You could go to Len.chan's Blog, There you can find all his fics, including this
Her fics. Our great Len is a lady :)
Opss...sorry  :oops:

Offline len.chan

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Re: When Love Hurts
« Reply #479 on: September 04, 2007, 07:33:21 AM »
thanks for all your comments ^^
I'm really glad that there's still people reading this.
Sorry about the links. They went down when the forum changed and I forgot to update it. Now I can't do it 'cause I'm just able to connect at work and I don't have enough time.
As Kreuz_ said you can go to my blog. There's everything. lensficblog.blogspot.com

PS: I want my connection baaack

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