LOOOOOOOOOOONG chapter
Chapter 30: Only TimeIf only happiness could be brought back… I’d do all I can to make it happen…“Eh? What are you doing here?” Natsumi raised a brow at her visitor. She had nonchalantly walked over to her door and opened it to find the first ex-Momusu leader behind that very door.
Yuko walked forward, leaving Natsumi, the ex-face of Morning Musume, to stand by so that the ex-leader may pass. She followed Yuko to her bedroom, her tidy bedroom, and watched with bemusement as the obachan got into her bed and started sleeping away.
“What are you doing sleeping in my bed…?” Natsumi twitched her left eye, watching her ex-leader getting comfortable in her own bed.
“There were all kinds of noises back at my apartment! I couldn’t get any sleep!” Yuko nearly yelled, before turning over again to sleep.
“That gives you no excuse to come over here and sleep in my bed…”
“Don’t you cause me any noise too, get out of here~!” Yuko freed one of her hands from the blankets and waved it dismissively.
“Get out? I live here,” the younger woman retorted, before sitting on a chair near by. “But seriously, what are you doing here?”
“There’s that one movie I wanted to see. I came for it.”
“Oh, that movie? It didn’t come yet. My relative will return it tomorrow.”
“I see… Well hurry up with it, a friend wants to see it too,” Yuko turned yet again, resting her hands underneath her head.
The atmosphere was silent. Natsumi tilted her head ambiguously at the quiet air, but realized the source of silence came from the snores emitting from a certain obachan.
She sat back on the chair and began pondering.
It’s been awhile…“Nacchi?” a voice snapped the aforementioned person out of her trance.
“Eh? Did I space out?!” Natsumi waved her hands in slight panic.
“Actually, it looked like I woke you up,” Ruru tilted her head and giggled. “The concert today was fun! You were like, the highlight of it altogether!”
“Ah! Thanks!” Natsumi scratched the back of her head sheepishly, unsure of how to expand the conversation.
“There you are!” came a voice, and the owner stood next to Ruru, “Ah, you’re here too?”
“Yeah, Nacchi was spacing out, so I thought I’d poke fun at her.”
“She didn’t aggravate you, didn’t she?”
“Not at all! She complimented me!” Natsumi waved her hand.
“That’s good,” Kaori turned her head to face Ruru and let a kind smile form on her lips, to which Ruru also smiled, “We have to go somewhere, sorry to leave you!” Kaori said cheerfully before bowing her head to the younger before she and Ruru went off.
Even though they didn’t say anything, my instincts told me right away that they were lovers… But… Even though I knew from the start that they were… Why did I love Kaori? I refuse to say love at first sight, being a poet and writer (ignoring my plagerism stunt two years earlier), since that maxim isn’t correct. I would rather call it “loving the wrong person at the wrong time.”“Hey Nacchi! Can I recommend Kaori coming over your apartment? You always have the best movies, and some movies I definitely bet that she likes too.”
“Eh? Sure, as long as it isn’t lost in your jungle of an apartment,” Natsumi laughed.
It was a one-sided love… But Ruru didn’t know, so everytime she smiled at me… I felt so guilty…“You have good taste,” Kaori simply said as she looked through backs of DVDs and tapes.
“Haha, yeah, I’m always into movies.”
“Nacchi, is it okay for me to borrow these three?”
“How bold of you, calling me by my nickname,” Natsumi held the tips of her fingers to her mouth and giggling.
“Ah, I apologize. I guess it kind of rubbed off me from Ruru. She talks about you a lot, I never really expected you two to be such familiar friends.”
“Yeah, we get that a lot,” Natsumi said almost sheepishly. “How about you? Isn’t Yuko your best friend?”
“…
Does she count as a best friend?” Kaori looked at Natsumi with a raised brow, remembering all the insane or bizarre antics the obachan was infamous for.
“I don’t know, I was asking you,” Natsumi also raised a brow. “But yeah… Ruru’s a good person, even though her cooking is pretty insane,” the woman chuckled.
“Yeah…” Kaori smiled contently, “I know what you mean.”
Whether it was her looks or her voice or that humor of her’s… I loved them all… Though I never told her how I felt. No matter how much I loved her, I already knew it was hopeless. But then I started becoming a part of their small adventures once in awhile along with Yuko…“Ruru said we should all go do some karaoke again,” Yuko said as she was sitting on a ledge overlooking some busy people below.
“Ah, she said that, didn’t she?” Natsumi was crouching, admiring the flowers at the level of Yuko’s feet. “…Are they seeing eachother? Ruru and Kaori-san?”
“Some things are better left unsaid,” Yuko said as she looked at the sky. “Just like how Ruru is unaware of the feelings you hold for dear Kaorin, it’s the same.”
Natsumi looked up at Yuko, now confused at how she knew, for she thought she was good at disguising her feelings.
Seeing Natsumi’s slightly shocked face, Yuko laughed, “How I know? You see… I have this special…instinct I suppose… Why don’t you go steal Kaorin from her?”
“Ha, I think not,” Natsumi smiled, though a bit sadly, “How could I win against Ruru? And it’s my wish that they have happiness. They’re so happy that it’s pretty much unbeatable.”
Yes… I wanted their happiness to last forever… But…“Ruru?” Natsumi came into the room slowly, to find that it seemed extremely neglected, and that she probably not touch anything without collecting some dust.
There the T&C bomber member was, clutching her head while the blanket she had was half draping over her shoulders in the corner.
Natsumi sat next to her, and looked from below at the woman’s face. Her eyes were devoid of light; she was broken.
“Oh…You wanted…to see me…?” Ruru said so inaudibly that Natsumi had to strain her ears just to put that sentence together. “I’m sorry we haven’t talked for awhile… And you came in with the apartment room at such a state… and me in such a state…”
“We’re closer than that, I’m fine with it…”
“But it is true that we haven’t seen each other for a long time… So I was worried… Yuko was able to persuade my manager to let me have the day off to see you…”
“…Have… you seen Kaorin…?”
“No, I haven’t.”
Ruru lurched forward slightly, holding her face as if she was about to spill her tears any second. “Kaorin… She was hurt badly… It’s all… It’s… It’s all my fault…”
“Ruru…”
“What should I do? What could I do? Now that it’s turned out like this… We can’t go back to the way things were… Because of me… Because it’s all my fault… I was right there… But I couldn’t… It’s all my fault… I couldn’t… I couldn’t protect her… I could not protect her… It’s all my fault…” she reached out, but Natsumi’s only comfort was a pat and a hug.
It was heart-wrenching.“See? I told you it would be better if you didn’t see her,” Yuko said solemnly as she crossed her arms, “Do you want to see Kaorin too?”
Natsumi had ignored Yuko’s words, and instead, stared at the ground which slowly blurred as tears formed in her eyes.
It was so heart-wrenching. Their happiness was gone. Just like that, it was shattered… And then Yuko told me that Ruru had her memories suppressed shortly after…“Sorry to worry you!” Ruru rocked her feet back and forth from the porch. “But I’m fine now!”
“Are you sure?” Natsumi was sitting next to Ruru on the porch, “You still look a little pale…”
“Nah! It’ll go away soon, Iida-san said I should get plenty of rest!”
“…’Iida-san’… Did you really forget…?”
“Eh?”
“N-nothing,” Natsumi waved her hand dismissively.
“So, have you found anyone interesting while I was out?”
“Eh? No…No one’s really under my tastes really…”
“Oh, I know! Iida-san would be a good match for you!”
Natsumi looked at Ruru.
“…Wouldn’t you be more suited for her?”
“Eeh?” Ruru laughed as she waved her hand, “not at all! Sure I admire her, but I’m not suitable for her at all!”
Natsumi could not suppress the memories of Ruru and Kaori’s past any longer. Again, a few tears dropped.
Again… It was heart wrenching…I felt so sad… And so lonely…I know there’s some people who go through relationships and are broken afterwards… And to have their memories erased after… I know Kaori and Ruru didn’t want that to happen!“You know…”
Natsumi was snapped out of her trance, she suddenly was aware of the present now. And Yuko was now sitting on her bed, perfectly made.
“You’re the only one wallowing in the past.”
“How did you know what I was thinking?” Natsumi raised a brow.
“In your day-dreaming, I heard you mention Kaorin and Ruru.”
“Oh…”
“It’s nice to know that your loyalty is admirable, but I think you should move on. I hear Ruru’s got a fiancé in China, and Kaorin is seeing someone.”
“You’re lying!” Natsumi’s eyes widened.
“No I’m not, but I hear that the person’s a bit like Ruru,” Yuko got off the bed and placed her feet in her shoes.
“Is that so…?”
“Mmhmm! Don’t you feel like an idiot though?” Yuko patted Natsumi, “Since they found their happiness and you’re the only one living in the past. Though, if you really want to… You could try dating me for a change,” Yuko winked almost seductively at the ex-face of Momusu.
“Eh? No way, I’m not going to date just because I’m lonely,” Natsumi shook her head.
“Haha, I thought you would say that,” Yuko began walking away, “Anywho, nice talking to you and sleeping in your lovely and amazingly comfortable bed,” and with that, she left.
Natsumi crossed her arms in anger, “What right does she have to barge into my house just to take a nap anyway?” she pouted.
Maybe I should go searching for my happiness afterall…Then, she heard the doorbell ring yet again. Curious, she went over to the small hallway and opened her door.
“Ah?!”
“I apologize for dropping by unexpectedly.”
It was Kaori.
“It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Last time I saw you was when we toured together for your concert. This place hasn’t changed a bit,” Kaori walked passed Natsumi to look at the rooms.
“You have though, you cut your bangs?”
“Yeah…”
“It reminds me of Yuko,” Natsumi smiled.
“…Of…Yuko…? I was actually regretting that I cut it…”
…Okay so maybe she doesn’t like it… Natsumi’s eyes widened.
“…Aren’t you burning in that? Seeing you so bundled up makes me feel like I’m burning too...” Natsumi’s eyes widened even further, Kaori looking like she had to have at least 5 layers of coats.
“I’m sorry, I’m pretty sensitive to the cold, and it was especially windy out.”
“Never mind that, I’m just so surprised that you came by so… surprisingly…” Natsumi fought for words, “Yuko was here earlier so yeah…”
“Speaking of Yuko, I’m here to pick up the movie she recommended to me.”
“Eh?! YOU’RE the friend she mentioned who wanted to see it?!” Natsumi turned her head to look at Kaori.
“Didn’t she tell you?” Kaori now looked confused.
That…that idiotic woman! She did that on purpose!“The movie doesn’t come until tomorrow…”
“Your mouth is twitching, Natsumi-san.”
She made us run into each other on purpose! That idiot!“If that’s the case, I’ll come back tomorrow,” and with that she left.
As she saw the door close, Natsumi ran into a different room and was about to jump her phone…
“Gah! Even if I try calling her, she NEVER answers the phone! That idiot Yuko!” and then she gave up. “Guess I have to wait for tomorrow…”
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“…Why are we meeting out here? Would it not be better if we were in your apartment?” Kaori said as she eyed the aforementioned building behind Natsumi.
“You shouldn’t meet my mother yet…” Natsumi said shifty-eyed. “But yeah, here’s the movie… Eh? You’re only wearing one coat today…” she said, eyeing the navy blue and white jacket.
“I just thought I would try not to make people feel like they’re burning with what I’m wearing,” Kaori replied solemnly.
Natsumi laughed melodically, “You’re too serious!”
“Weren’t you the one who suggested it to me anyway?”
“Ah… Were you offended yesterday?” Natsumi asked, losing her laughter immediately.
“Eh?” Kaori was clueless. “Er…No?”
“Then what’s wrong? Yesterday seemed like it too… You’re not energetic…”
“There’s nothing wrong with my health in particular.”
“No no, not that… It’s just… You don’t have that happy happy joy joy air about you.”
“…Happy happy joy joy?”
Like you were at the time you were dating Ruru…
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say, but I have to tell you that anything that has to do with happiness has nothing to do with me now.”
“…What are you saying?”
It’s a lie…She’s still trapped by the past…? I don’t know…I just can’t understand anymore…I want to go search for my happiness…But there’s no way I can’t stop thinking about her! Even though there’s no way…“You’re lying, aren’t you? The sky is so white, and the beautiful winter season kicking in soon… Everyone laughing so happily… It has to be a lie when you say you’re not happy! It’s a lie!” Natsumi raised her voice as tears began forming in her eyes. “Even if it is the truth, I refuse to believe it!”
“…You’re not making any sense…”
“It doesn’t matter! Not any more!”
Someone give her that happiness! Anyone! Make my wish come true and grant her happiness!Natsumi now burst out crying rather hard. Kaori was yet again, still confused at why, or what the conversation earlier was about.
“This is unreasonable… You are an adult…” Kaori said.
But knowing she can’t have a reply, and knowing that she can’t do anything to help, she simply looked at Natsumi with empathy.
“…Are you misunderstanding something?”
Natsumi was not crying as hard as before, but she was still sniffling here and there.
“I simply wanted to go outside for awhile… Any excuse to be outside… I was a little tired… Maybe you’re right, perhaps crying will make everything feel better, but growing older, it’s harder and harder to do things like anymore.”
“When you say it like that, it makes me feel like I shouldn’t have done that… I normally don’t cry like that either,” Natsumi said as she was wiping away the tears.
“Well you were crying pretty loudly… But you were crying for me in my place… So thank you.”
“Don’t mention it, I’m glad I could be of service to you… But don’t expect me to do that for you in the future! Aren’t you seeing someone? Tell them to be crying for you instead.”
“Eh? I’m not dating anyone.”
“Wah? I thought Yuko said…” The soloist’s eyes felt like they jumped out of her sockets.
“You got tricked by Yuko again, didn’t you?”
Dot. Dot. Dot.
“Give them back!” Natsumi stretched her hand out, “I want ALL of my tears back! With INTEREST!”
“You’re being unreasonable again,” Kaori smiled. “Are you free today? I’ll take you out to eat, as an apology and thanks.”
“You’re going to take me out to eat with my face looking like a huge mess…?” Natsumi turned around to wipe out all the tears.
“You don’t want to go?”
“I’ll go!” Natsumi jerked her head to face Kaori.
“You’re right… It’s a beautiful white day,” Kaori smiled serenely at Natsumi.
Without a need for words, Natsumi ,too, smiled serenely at Kaori.
Indeed… Instead of looking back…“How’d it goooo?” Yuko sneered, imagining the person’s face on the other line. “I was simply trying to help out with your love liiiiife~! No need to thank me~! So from now on, you have to work hard and keep it at a steady pace! Though, it’ll probably take forever since this is Kaorin we’re talking about.”
Natsumi was silent on the other line.
“Even if it means it’ll take 2 or 3 years, riiiight~<3 ?”
“Don’t you DARE call me again!” and with that, Natsumi hung up.
Two or three years is an exaggeration. But the day where Kaori would call me by my nickname… Or when we go out to eat… Or when we’ll stare at the pretty sky again…
It’s probably not that far in the future.You know, I'm getting sad that my old fans aren't leaving comments for the story. :<
Topic: Our Cursed Gift [Chapter 47: Our Final Promise][COMPLETE] (Read 161548 times)