Random thought that occurred to me upon waking up. I just realized something has changed in the way I ship pairings.
(Yes I wake up and that's the first thing I think. Makes you wonder what dreams I have
In the past as a diehard Ai wota I pretty much shipped her with almost everyone and have written her with a number of people, with my favourite of course being ReinAi. It didn't matter if it was unlikely. I could make it work somehow (usually)
But now as a Riho wota of course I still ship her with people (notably either FukuSaya or SayaIshi), but one significant difference from the past is that in my mind...these pairings have her at a disadvantage. That is, I don't actually see her getting the girl without active intervention from me.
Reason being that Fukuchan works better with Eripon so far, and Ayumi loves Duu, so Riho really has to deal with serious kataomoi if I play things straight. The only pairing that would work automatically is SayuRiho, which is extremely disturbing and I don't dare to write it until after Riho turns 18, because the stuff Sayu says on her radio is nightmare inducing material...lol. I'm not kidding either, because a wota wrote in asking what if Riho invited Sayu to bathe with her (I don't know whether I should be afraid of or thankful for this question), and Sayu's answer shows way too much forethought
. I know she's witty and everything and comes up with answers really fast, but it's still creepy how she managed to answer without crossing any visible lines and yet still break every warning alarm I have.
Back to the point though. Thing is, I have a sense that my favoured Riho pairings don't have much of a chance of it actually working out...and my current feeling is that I'm totally ok with this
. Considering I write most of the new gen fic around here, you would think I'd take the opportunity like I did with ReinAi to simply spam my preferred pairings, gut feelings otherwise be damned. In a way I have, given how I have written FukuSaya on more than one occasion, and hinted at SayaIshi in a couple more. But the thing is that I have a feeling that I'm going to be writing more one-sided feelings type of story where Riho simply doesn't get the girl...and survives it. Hell, she'll probably be supportive. (Well, she works with them. It'd be painful otherwise if she didn't learn to move on. Moving on is crucial.)
Actually now that I mention it, one of my recent one shots, 5 Years Later, does follow that dynamic. I wonder what led to the evolution of how I see these pairings. Personal growth? Haha. I'm totally ok with Riho being alone somehow, despite my shipping tendencies. This is strange. It's as if the intense need I had before for reciprocated love that manifested in my Ai stories has died down into a muted "life goes on with or without" kind of peace. Is it part of growing up? Am I getting more cynical? I still enjoy reading my ships when other people write it (knowing 3 languages is a wonderful thing), but I think other than stories on crack I highly doubt I can write serious ships for Riho anymore. On the bright side I might write more alternative pairings that don't involve her as one of the mains. I find it oddly therapeutic that way. How odd really. My favourite girl and I don't give her a happily ever after. Hell, I give Eripon more happily ever afters in general (even if weird shit happens to her most of the time lmao).
But yeah, just some musings about my changes as a writer and shipper. So how does everyone feel about their ships? Feel free to go into extended discussions about pairings. I'm quite curious about what everyone thinks actually.