@tru_harmony: Cheating is inevitable, even in the idol world. It's bound to happen sometimes. Glad sadness works for you!
@JFC:
For some reason, your choice of smilies makes me laugh, especially the second one! Anyway, gotta keep y'all guessing!
@Ai.love: Yup, Ai-chan really is the victim here. As for what's gonna happen next, you just need to keep reading!
@peti-chan: Thanks! And thank you for nominating me too! Part 4 is here!
@kinbari: I'm from California in America.
@x_sleepyhead: Thanks for reading! Hopefully, you'll like this update!
@shadowolf8: Glad you like!
@lollipopgirl: OHOHOHO! I can even freak out inanimate objects!
I know, I feel a little guilty, doing such bad things to Ai-chan! I'm sure if any of this "loving" goes on in H!P, cheating happens! I'm growing as a writer! I really wanna write a long one and I may be working my way up! But for now, I'll stick to these.
@kRisZ: You will find out...
Because life isn't so simple!
Finally!!!! Part 4!
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Better Days: Part 4 ~I Don’t Want This to Make Me Cry~Just thinking about what went down that day hurts me. As if it happened 10 minutes ago. I sat on my bed, laying back and letting my wet hair soak into the blankets. My eyes closed and the memories surfaced.
Three weeks ago
“I had fun today, Ai-chan!”, she grinned at me, lacing our fingers together. We walked slowly out of the zoo and into the city streets. It was getting dark, as the streetlights were illuminated one by one. I smiled back, thinking of all the fun we had. The best part though, besides the koalas, was holding her hand. Aya-chan’s hand was always so soft and warm. “Let’s take a picture!”, I squealed, pulling her towards the kids’ playground around the corner. I dragged her up onto the slide and we sat down at the top, not worrying about delaying children because of the hour. Throwing my arm around her neck, I pulled her close and poised the camera in front of us. “Say cheese!”, I smiled, flashing the ever present peace sign. Aya revealed that famous smirk and threw up the sign as well. I checked the picture and we giggled at ourselves. Deciding to take some more, we posed and cackled for a long while. By the time we calmed down, holding our stomachs, it was very dark.
Our hands were clasped together again as we sat in our taxi. We decided Aya-chan’s place would be best as it was closest to our current location. Both of us only had work in the afternoon so we had the time to sleep in and hang out. We paid the fare and entered Aya’s huge building. “Good evening Ms. Matsuura and Ms. Takahashi”, the elevator attendant greeted us and pressed 25. I could see him avoid looking at our intertwined hands. Once we arrived in Aya’s apartment, she shoved me onto the couch and straddled my hips slowly. “I’ve wanted to do this all day”, she whispered dangerously, her tongue tracing the shape of my ear. I shivered involuntarily and put my hands on her back, rubbing up and down.
We fooled around for a while, not really making any effort to remove any clothing. The only person I’d ever done that with was Gaki-san and I’d seen how that turned out. Perhaps Aya and I would wait until we’ve been together longer. I was brought back to the present when she gave my chest a final squeeze through my shirt and sat up, still on my hips. I peered into her eyes, those deep and expressive orbs. I saw a hint of wanting but it was gone in a flash, replaced by kindness. “So what are you doing tomorrow at work?”, Aya asked, sliding down my legs and onto the soft cushions. “Let’s not talk about it, okay?”, I replied, “It’s nothing much” Hoping she’d sense my desire to talk about something more important, I began to straighten up my clothes, wrinkled from our previous escapade. “I’m doing vocal training”, she began, “Preparing for my new single!” I winced when she continued the conversation and could detect the smile on her small face.
“I said I don’t want to talk about it”, I snapped, sounding a little meaner than I liked. I just wanted to enjoy my time off, discussing personal things rather than work as usual. She was quiet for a few seconds, the tension growing. Timidly, my eyes rose to meet her face, praying she wasn’t crying. But in fact, she had a slight smirk mixed with a pensive look. “Ah, I see why you don’t want to talk about work”, she spoke up, looking into my eyes and nodding. Something about the way she looked at me in that moment made me uncomfortable. “What do you mean?”, I nervously asked, regretting letting the thought escape my lips as soon as I said the words. “I mean, that you don’t want me to talk about all the things I do as a soloist”, she responded, her smile unintentionally taunting me. “Eh?”, was my query. I honestly had no idea where she was going with this, for the second time in my life. I felt a terrible twisting in the pit of my stomach, as if this conversation was gonna end similarly to the last one I had of this nature. “It’s okay to be a little jealous, Ai-chan”, she said seriously, “I always thought Tsunku should get you out of that group and turn you solo”
What.The.Hell!?
I was absolutely floored. Matsuura Aya, Japan’s Idol and my girlfriend, thought I was jealous of her career?! That was absurd and I couldn’t help but get a little pissed off at such a ridiculous assumption. Ok, a lot pissed off. “Are you kidding me?!”, I shouted, standing up and staring her down. By her reaction, I knew I was channeling Miki-chan herself. “N-no need to get mad”, she stuttered, “I think it’s kind of cute” I stared at her with an expression of shock and fury. I mean, I knew she was rather self-centered but this took the cake. “I would never be envious of you”, I growled, “I love Morning Musume with all my heart” “C-c-calm d-down please”, she whimpered, curling back into the couch, fear clearly surfacing in her eyes. “Fuck you, Matsuura”, I spat, “It’s over” I slammed her front door and walked out into the night.
That night, I had my heart stomped on and demolished for the second time. I took off running, tears spilling out. They flew from my cheeks and settled behind me in the darkness. With no plan of where to go, I ended up in another children’s park. My legs carried me to the swing set where I collapsed and allowed my voice to emerge. “AHHHHHH!!!!!!!”, I shrieked, my head lolling forward. My grip on the swing chains tightened as I kicked at the dirt. “Why!!!”, I yelled again, strings of drools slipping down my moistened skin. I cried freely, not caring how loud I was being. Hell, I didn’t even know what time it was. After letting my emotions out for a while, I stumbled home, still crying. It took me 10 minutes just to get the damn front door open. I tripped to the bedroom and landed face first on my bed.
“Why?”, I murmured, before losing myself to sleep. For the next week, I was, to put it lightly, a wreck. I was late for everything, meetings, practices, rehearsals. I was barely there, simply going through the motions of living. All the girls were concerned, never having seen their leader so out of it. Gaki-san was glued to my side, reminding me what needed to get done. She really is the best friend and sub-leader I could ever have. I had to give credit to Kame-chan too, for letting this go on. She wasn’t jealous at all, or at least didn’t show it. Gaki kept asking me what was wrong but I couldn’t bear to tell her. The guilt would definitely kill her and I couldn’t let that happen. So my answer was always, “Not feeling too good, that’s all”
Work was bad enough but my time alone….that was my lowest time. Everywhere I looked, her face was there. It just wouldn’t leave me alone! I tried my best to ignore it, busying myself with other things. I even banged my head on the vanity in the dressing room, trying to escape her torture. It cut my head open a bit and luckily, Reina found me just minutes later. The girls decided to form a “Leader Watch”, where at least one person would be with me at all times. It was annoying but at least her voice couldn’t bother me.
I didn’t want to cry, but the memories of her….. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, quickly wiping my eyes. Catching a glance of my wrist, another memory pushed itself forward from the very back of my mind.
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OHOHOHO! Yes, there is a part 5!!!!!!!!!!
edit: lollipopgirl!!! I love you~ Thanks for the nomination!!!!
Topic: strawb3rrykream's notebook (Aki Urara - updated 8/17) (Read 172324 times)