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Author Topic: Quietriot's Sketchbook -- The Yankii Monologues: Insomnia [11/27]  (Read 17466 times)

Offline maikeatoot

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Offline Quietriot

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Re: Quietriot's Sketchbook -- Senpai Series #3 (SayuRiho, Tanashige) [7/16]
« Reply #81 on: August 27, 2012, 06:04:35 PM »
Guys sometimes I try to write things that I'm way behind on but then I end up writing things that have nothing to do with those things. These things are sappy and you can ignore me or judge me all you want, idgaf. :P XD There's no specific pairing. (I mean I have one in mind, but you can use your imaginations~) Might write something else in the same vein, who knows X3 Enjoy.

The Yankii Monologues: Morning

I hate mornings. And not in the way that people abuse the word "hate" like they abuse the word "love," where what they really mean is that they strongly dislike mornings, no, let's go ahead and define my use of the word properly. I have an intense and passionate dislike and a strong aversion to mornings. 

This is just one of those facts that is so true about me, so very ingrained into every single strand of DNA that I possess, that every person I have lived with either figures it out quickly or suffers through my silent wrath until they wise up and learn to avoid me until well past noon. Or at least until after I've had a cup of coffee.

I know you're sitting there wondering, 'Man, what kinda messed up does a girl have to be to hate the colors of the sky as the sun breaks the horizon, or the gentle sounds of birds chirping in response to an early mist? Reina, what the hell did mornings ever do to you?' And I would tell you that that kind of thinking is likely fair, that those things are probably beautiful and if you like them then heaven forbid I keep you from enjoying them.

But what I know is that every morning, the sun and those stupid birds rip me from my sleep like a baby that's just been ejected from the warm comfort of its mother's womb, forced to breathe in air for the first time and surrounded by blue scrubs and gloved hands. Yes, my friends, I just compared waking up to the miracle of birth.

Some of you still don't get it at this point, though. Because I just said the word 'baby' and you conjured up images of cute, little wriggling bundles of joy and you're now wearing the same stupid subdued look everyone gets when they think of babies or puppies. Reina, however, is talking about the way babies look when they're freshly born, bloody and sticky and screaming; that's how she feels when she wakes up. Kind of. More or less.

Because I like sleeping. It's the closest thing to escaping from this world a person can get without literally taking themselves out of it. Whatever worries I have at night disappear the second I slip away into the arms of unconsciousness, and even when I have nightmares there's always that fuzzy dream haze that covers every thing and somehow I still know nothing's real. And nightmares tend to be more entertaining than my real problems anyway.

When I wake up, there's that brief moment of being completely disoriented; I forget that reality exists and my bed is strange and unfamiliar and it's like entering the world for the first time all over again. Life comes rushing back to me in an instant, a hard slap of schedules and commitments and thoughts like, 'god, did I remember to charge my phone last night'. And that's one hell of an emotional whiplash to experience every morning, going from peace to chaos in thirty seconds or less.

So when I wake up, I wake up angry, ready to fight. Fight what, I don't know--perhaps I think I can somehow will the world to conform to my desire to be left alone--but usually I end up growling a lot and abusing my alarm clock before I finally, reluctantly drag my body from the warmth of blankets and sheets and pillows.

Yeah, that's what I thought. Mornings don't sound so great to you anymore either, huh. 

But... lately...

It was simple enough, you know. Just small texts to wake up to, nothing extraordinary, usually followed by smiles or hearts, that sort of thing. 

So very like her. 

At first I didn't think much of it, because usually I wouldn't check them until after already going through the ritual of being a bit of a bear and knocking my clock over. The feeling was strange to me, standing there at my sink with my toothbrush hanging out of my mouth, reading over the words encouraging me to have a good day.

For a brief moment I forgot how to be angry.

But every morning after that, the messages kept coming, and I started to expect them, finding that I couldn't manage to get out of bed without reaching for my phone first to check. And even when my eyes are blurry from sleep or I hate everything else I always try to send something back, though I can hear her laughing all the way from wherever she might be as she tells me not to worry and to catch five more minutes of sleep. 

And it's funny because in the minute it takes me to force my eyes open to read whatever it is she's sent me for the morning, not only do I forget to be angry, I forget how to hate mornings so much.

I still don't do them well; my short hair allows for even worse bed-head now than before, and I occasionally am still not the kindest person as far as my clock is concerned. But for the first time in my life I've been able to smile genuinely before noon. Not that fake shit I put on for the cameras and concerts and everyone else but the real thing, teeth and all, special for her as I lay in the dim morning light in my apartment.

A smile that, sometimes I even attempt to get away with backstage when no one else is looking--when our hands brush 'accidentally' or our eyes lock in passing. Something just between us.

Ah... That idiot.

Because of her I have to admit that I'm wrong and change my opinion on something. Reina doesn't do that. Ever. 

But maybe just this once.

I kinda like mornings. A lot.


[6:50AM: Good morning, beautiful. <3 I hope you have a fantastic day. :)]

[9:10AM: ...<3]

Offline kjpop

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Re: Quietriot's Sketchbook -- The Yankii Monologues: Morning [8/27]
« Reply #82 on: August 27, 2012, 10:20:03 PM »

Bahahahhahahaha Reina <3 but foreal. Coffee solves everything  :twothumbs

Maybe Reina just needs a cuddle buddy to make the mornings go even smoother  :roll:
« Last Edit: August 28, 2012, 03:28:45 AM by kjpop »

Offline Koei

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Re: Quietriot's Sketchbook -- The Yankii Monologues: Morning [8/27]
« Reply #83 on: August 28, 2012, 01:51:55 AM »
Hahahaha it's here!!!

I'm seriously cackling out loud Miki style XD

My mom came to my room and asked me what evil thoughts have been conjured up in my mind. WELL YES!! Evil indeed!

If by evil you mean completely amused by this shortie  XD

Ahh youth  :heart: Ahh technology and its superhuman powers to change our views of the facts we hate about life XD

Hahahahahaha Nice one Fimster.
*Places de Koei seal of approval~  :cow: *

Offline Quietriot

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Re: Quietriot's Sketchbook -- The Yankii Monologues: Morning [8/27]
« Reply #84 on: November 27, 2012, 07:32:42 AM »
I CAN'T SLEEP. So I wrote a thing. And I'm writing other things. And maybe in three weeks when this semesters over you'll see other things. But for now here's this thing :D Same Reina POV, same mystery pairing, sort of a continuation of the previous oneshot, etc. goodnight~

The Yankii Monologues: Insomnia


I know you're sleeping now. I know I should be too but the second I sign off the loneliness hits and if I don't do something productive while I lie here awake then I'll probably just suffer a panic attack and I'll have to text you and wake you up and I'm really tired of being that kind of helpless, you know?

I envy your ability to pass out so fast and to be dead to the world within seconds. I wish I could. It's just another insecurity for me, another reminder of how imperfect I am. And I worry because well, shouldn't I be sleeping easy too? Because I have you and I'm happy with you and my mind should be settled and I should sleep knowing that you're doing the same.

But I can't.

Because you're not here--you're some hundreds of miles away in another city, in another bed that isn't mine. Not because you're unfaithful, but because life just played out like that, playing its cruel tricks on us just the way it does everyone else. I'm not trying to complain, since we've worked out ways to cope and seeing your face and hearing your voice nearly everyday is certainly better than the way we started out.

I know I probably made you laugh just now, thinking about how we started out. Those train tickets get expensive fast.

And I still get to have some moments with you that seem normal, like when we watch movies together, or play video games, or stay up all night talking. So really, I have a whole lot to be thankful for, considering that this has even worked up to this point.

Why can't I sleep then?

Because it hurts.

My entire body aches not being with you, in every sense of the word. Some nights it's painful just to lay here, all tangled up with a pillow that's such a poor substitute for you, knowing that if I don't hold on to something I might break and cry and I'll have another reason to text you. But I won't. Because I'm too proud and because I don't want to wake you. And even if I did you're not here to kiss away the tears and make it better.

I hate that I've become like this, so whiny and emotional--so very different from this self-sufficient aura I project. But I need you. And it scares me. I've never been like this before, never let down my guard so low. You probably don't realize how easily you could ruin me with just a few words.

But that's also how much I trust you. It's how firmly I believe in you and know that you won't hurt me. I've become so much stronger now knowing that you're there, I've matured and grown away from that image I had back when I first joined because of you.

That's why, even though it hurts, the pain is kind of bearable, beautiful even. Knowing that my mind and body and soul won't really find any peace until you're here with me again.

It's not that you complete me. I don't believe in soulmates anymore, or missing puzzle pieces or shit like that. You didn't even come in and put my heart back together when it was broken, because I didn't need someone to do that for me. You just listened and gave me the space to do it on my own.

You compliment me.

We're not exact opposites, just enough that you balance out my hot temper and my childishness and I keep you from worrying too much and getting too old too fast. If I had to let you go or watch you leave for whatever reason, I would still get by somehow, I'm sure--I've learned by now that life goes on.

But I don't want to. Ever.

I want to be with you. Sit next to you. Hold your hand. Maybe if I'm brave enough and if you say it's okay, I'll kiss you, and then I'll probably get so shy and flustered that I forget how to speak until you tell me it's okay, shut up, and you kiss me back. I wanna curl up with you on the couch or in bed, clothes totally optional, and we can make out or make love or have sex or just cuddle, and I'll whisper things to you until you fall asleep in my arms.

I want to hold you when you're scared or sad or tired or when you just want to be held. I want to protect you and make you laugh and smile and give you things just because I can, just to make you feel loved. Because I love you.

I want all of these things.

And it's okay that I can't have them yet. It's okay that I have to wait still, that I'm counting down the days until you're there in front of me.

Because I keep finding new things to love about you every day. New ways to fall in love with you again every day.

Like you can be sitting there doing something mundane like reading your emails and you apologize to me for being so boring, not knowing that I've lost my breath there on the other side of the screen because I'm just completely captivated by the way your lips curve when you smile. Or how you look when you're concentrating hard--adorable--or the way your voice has taken on that tone that I know you reserve only for me whether you realize it or not.

So while being with you like this right now--hundreds of miles away, you working hard there and me working hard here--isn't the best, I love you and every minute that I spend with you, and I thought maybe you should know that. Even if some nights I can't sleep, or you can't sleep, or we both can't, or we cry and hurt sometimes.

I want you to know it's worth it to me.

I think I can fall asleep now. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll find you while I'm dreaming too.

Offline kuro_808

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Re: Quietriot's Sketchbook -- The Yankii Monologues: Insomnia [11/27]
« Reply #85 on: November 27, 2012, 07:43:24 AM »
Crazy thought process but that thinking should make you sleep unless it really happens :P
Random Thought:


R.I.P. Jab!  Dad/friend

Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: Quietriot's Sketchbook -- The Yankii Monologues: Insomnia [11/27]
« Reply #86 on: November 27, 2012, 08:16:21 AM »
Gah~! So romantic. It really sounds like RenAi, but I so want it to be TanaGaki...

Offline kjpop

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Re: Quietriot's Sketchbook -- The Yankii Monologues: Insomnia [11/27]
« Reply #87 on: November 27, 2012, 03:19:05 PM »

Offline yellow

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Re: Quietriot's Sketchbook -- The Yankii Monologues: Insomnia [11/27]
« Reply #88 on: November 28, 2012, 02:33:31 AM »
it is one interesting and emotional one  :)

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