@ anonymousdowner: Moved to tears? Really? 
I actually love reading your in-depth comments so thank you 
Unfortunately I haven't had time to read your other fics or any other fics because I just can't find the time, but I'm hoping that I can still keep up with your WMatsui fic 
And with the TakaHaru request, as all my requests, it will probably be a while until I actually complete it but don't worry, it will definitely be done (sooner or later)
@ Tanchan: Awww bless. I'm sorry I've scared you and I'm glad you're sticking to the end with this fic. I'm grateful and yes, I certainly won't spoil the ending 
@ riderchick: LOL! You're comment made me laugh and I'm glad you are just kidding about kicking me on the backside 
@ haruhi16: Wow, on your list? 
And yes, they all have their own problems 
Thank you everyone for their comments. Every single one is appreciated.
I would just like to say, with my beginning A/N of the previous chapter, after reading it again, I realised it may have sounded a bit harsh/blunt so I apologise if I scared or intimidated anyone concerning the direction and pairings of this fic. 
I just wanted to make it clear that this is an unpredictable angst fic so prepare yourself for heartbreak because I just like making myself and others sad
With updates, university is starting again and I'm not sure if I'll be able to update as frequently as before so I warn my precious readers in advance. But of course, I will update when I can 
And as usual please comment and enjoy 
09 – Hurtful Revelations My eyes flutter as I begin to awaken as the early morning sun shines through the thin curtains. I reach down to scratch my itching ankle, to only remember it is still in the annoying brace. With a frustrated sigh, I turn over. Suddenly, I feel the mattress shift by the person occupying the space next to me, which is usually empty by now. My eyes flicker open, only to meet the face of a sleeping Atsuko. A calm joy immediately buds inside me and I can’t help but bring my hand up and lightly stroke the soft skin of her cheek. My heart flusters as Atsuko softly sighs. I don’t want her to leave, but I know this is wrong.
I sit up and look at the clock, my eyes widening at the time.
“Atsuko, wake up.” I immediately say.
However, she doesn’t move. I shake her shoulder. “Atsuko, wake up!”
This time she actually stirs and her eyes dazedly open. She mumbles a morning, to which I can’t help reply with a smile. Sitting up she looks at the alarm clock and instantly Atsuko’s demeanour changes.
“Oh my god! Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?” she exclaims, scrambling off the bed and sprinting to the bathroom.
“I tried. Besides, you must have been the one that switched off the alarm.”
Instead of hearing her retort, I just listen to Atsuko brushing her teeth and gurgling unappealingly. She rushes out with her dripping face and slaps on her face cream. Not even brushing her hair, Atsuko rips of her pyjamas and searches through his wardrobe for something suitable to wear. I can’t help but laugh at Atsuko’s comical urgency.
“It’s not funny Minami.” snaps Atsuko from inside the closet.
Instantly I stop giggling and prickling heat rushes through me. Partly shocked and partly irritated by the unreasonable scolding, I remain silent. Unlike the comfortable silence we normally share, it is awkward and tense.
I watch her as she continues to grumble and ramble through her thousands of clothes. Then, I see the unpleasant mixture of blue, green and purple on Atsuko’s lower back.
“Atsuko, what is that?”
“What?” she gruffly answers.
“That bruise.” I point out. “How did that happen?”
Atsuko stops before standing up, with a handful of clothes. “It’s nothing.” she replies. In a flash, she puts on her shorts, making the bruise disappear.
“It’s not nothing.” I frown; concern quickly working its way into me. “It’s massive!”
“I just fell at work.” she tries to dismiss as she puts on her top. “It’s nothing to worry about.”
However, I pursue the topic, needing to know what happened. “But-”
“Minami.” Atsuko states my name in such a tone I stop. “Just leave it.”
I feel my heart ache in my chest. It is unfair that I am being rebuked for caring about my girlfriend. However, even though I am upset, I am more worried about Atsuko’s injury.
I want to believe Atsuko, but from the large size of the bruise, it is unlikely to be from falling. I should know, having experienced many falls and bumps myself. However, I know Atsuko isn’t going to tell me. She never tells me when something is wrong, and it disappoints me. It feels as if she doesn’t rely on me and that I’m not dependable enough to even discuss serious problems. And this feeling of ineptness doesn’t sit well with me.
But then again, I could just be paranoid and jumping to conclusions. So, I don’t bring up the subject again.
“I’m going now.” declares Atsuko, giving me a last glance. “I’ll see you later.”
Before I can even reply, Atsuko is rushing out of the room and to the front door.
She didn’t even say ‘I love you’.
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Refraining from skipping inside the studio, I happily and rather impatiently make my way to Yuko’s set. With only two schedules today, and with the first one finished and having five hours to spare until the second, I decided to visit Yuko.
Lately, we haven’t been able to spend time together and we’ve missed so many dinner dates that I’ve lost count. Although I don’t want to acknowledge it, I’m beginning to feel the distance. I know I still adore Yuko, but with my continuingly busy schedule and Yuko’s drama, we’re both starting to feel neglected. I could especially sense it from yesterday’s particular conversation. Though it was a peculiar and brief, I could tell Yuko was hurt when I didn’t know how to reply. However, I honestly didn’t know how to reply. It wasn’t that I’ve never thought about us, it was rather… I didn’t know which scenario would be our future. Were we going to get married? Were we going to have kids? Were we going to break up? I don’t know. And I still don’t know.
I’m not sure if it is from fear or from insecurities, but with so many possibilities and no specifics, I don’t want to think about our future.
I wish Yuko could understand that. Yet, I do know I disappointed her. So with this gesture, I’m hoping to make up for everything and get our relationship back on track. I know it’s a simple motion and I wish I could do more for Yuko, but right now, it will have to do.
Holding my specially prepared lunch box, I excitedly head to Yuko, ready to witness her surprised face. ------------
10 Minutes Later ------------
After asking the staff members, getting momentarily lost, I arrive outside Yuko’s dressing room. I quietly giggle, anticipation overflowing my childish heart. I am giddy with delight and my patience is at its breaking point. So with a forceful push, I burst through the door.
“Yuu-chan!” I happily cry.
The door shuts behind me and there is a silence. With my arms high in the air, the lunch bag dangling from my fist, I realise that it isn’t Yuko sitting on the chair. Yuko isn’t even in the room.
The only person in the room is Hayami Mokomichi.
He stares up at me with a shocked expression. Noticing that my arms are still in the air, I awkwardly lower them and slide in a forced chuckle. I immediately feel uncomfortable, embarrassed and slightly peeved. Here, sitting in my girlfriend’s dressing room is the man that is acting as her character’s romantic interest, and I had made a fool of myself in front of the one person I didn’t want to feel inferior to.
“Good morning Kojima-san.” Hayami amusedly greets, rapidly overcoming his initial surprise.
At first I wonder how he knows my name. But I remember we had met once before, when I first visited Yuko at the very start of her filming. Plus, I am part of AKB48 and was, not boasting, a celebrity. My name was common knowledge amongst celebrities, like the fact that I know his name is Hayami Mokomichi.
“Good morning Hayami-senpai.” I politely bow, though I am irked underneath. “Where is Yuko?”
“Yuko is just shooting another scene.” he calmly answers. “She’ll be back soon.”
“Oh.” I reply, unable to form any other words.
Hesitantly, I sit on the only available chair, as far away as possible from Hayami. However, in the small dressing room, this is only about two metres apart.
A few moments pass and we do not speak a word. I prefer it this way. I don’t have to hear his deep, masculine voice that so many women fawn over and wonder if Yuko liked his voice too.
“Kojima-san.” Hayami’s voice suddenly sounds. So much for not talking.
I turn my head slightly so I am making reluctant eye contact.
“Can I ask you something?” he asks, somewhat nervously, which makes me feel increasingly irritated as I witness his anxious antics that would appear adorable to the general population of Japan.
“Yes.” I simply answer, wondering if he noticed my darker tone.
“You’re Yuko-chan’s best friend aren’t you?” he expectantly inquires.
I freeze. Yuko-chan? I grit my teeth at the informality. Plus, what does he mean? ‘No I am not Yuko’s best friend, I am her girlfriend!’ is what I want to answer, but professionalism keeps my mouth shut.
“You could say that.” I nearly hiss.
“And can you keep a secret?”
Curiosity and loathing is not a good mix. Though I don’t want to be interested in anything about Hayami, However, I want to know his secret. These two conflicting emotions make me hesitate. But then, I reason, it could be good blackmail material.
So with that in mind, I respond, “It depends.”
Hayami looks towards the door and edges forward, which I am not comfortable with, but I endure it for the sake of hearing his supposed secret.
“Well, you are in AKB48 with Yuko-chan. Is the rule about boyfriends really that strict?”
I don’t like where this is going. What is Hayami getting at?
“Yes it is.” I almost snap, suddenly feeling my contempt for him surface and overcome the initial curiosity. I don’t want to hear anymore.
“But I find Yuko-chan truly amazing.” Hayami abruptly professes, in a daze-like state. “She’s funny, charming, out-spoken, kind, sincere, brave, and most of all beautiful.”
With each word he spoke, my rage increased and I think steam is about to expel from my ears. The level of audacity as he actually talks about Yuko, in front of her girlfriend, is ridiculous. I realise her doesn’t know Yuko is in a relationship, but what makes him think he’s good enough for Yuko? Being kind, rich and handsome isn’t everything.
I am about to interrupt and reprimand him, not caring if he is a senpai or not, when Hayami suddenly leans in so close that it makes me halt.
“And the thing is, the last time we went out together…we kissed.”
…
What? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I quietly sit on the sofa, watching an old episode of Majisuka Gakuen while senselessly eating from the large bowl of senbei. As I watch a fight scene, I think back to how tough it was to rehearse those scenes. It didn’t help that the floor was so slippery and painful to fall on. The rehearsals brought much laughter and physical pain. I smile at one particular memory.
When we were practising for the climactic scene before my ‘death’ scene, one of the main extras needed to throw me down to the floor. We did this a few times on the mat to practice the proper technique to give a more realistic fall, but still safe for me to do myself. It went well the first few times, however on the last practise run, she accidently threw me stronger than we both expected and my lower body landed off the mat, causing me to slam my hip against the floor. It was painful to say the least. However, after a few painkillers and an ice pack, it was better and I was ready to film the real scene. Although, from that, I was given a rather nasty looking bruise.
Suddenly I freeze. That bruise from this morning… on Atsuko’s lower back… It was almost identical to the one I had, only a fraction smaller. I am hit with a realisation. A simple slip couldn’t cause such a bruise, at least not from the angle, if it was a usual slip and fall occurrence. I knew something was wrong.
Normally, if you fall onto your backside, it doesn’t cause a bruising as your bottom is specifically designed to partially absorb impact. Atsuko’s odd bruising was too high and should only occur if she landed on a very hard surface like a concrete pavement or was hit by a substantial force that made her fall back at an unnaturally slanted angle, making Atsuko to lean further back and hit her tail-bone. And from our conversation yesterday morning, Atsuko wasn’t filming outside at all and it wasn’t even raining yesterday to cause a slip. So, Atsuko was inside, in a wooden planked set. That means only one thing.
Atsuko didn’t fall. She was pushed. And hard.
Before I know it, I am pressing 1 on my speed-dial. My solo song starts to play, and usually my mood would become happier knowing that Atsuko had my song as her ring-tone (even though I have hers as mine), it doesn’t today. It rings until, what feels like hours, before it picks up.
“Hello. Atsuko?” I quickly state.
“Minami? Is something wrong?” Atsuko’s voice returns, filled with concern.
I suddenly feel guilty, but I need to confirm what I deducted about her bruise. If I am wrong, I at least can be put at ease and lecture myself about my terrible paranoia. However, if I am right… I’m going to find the person who did such a thing to my Atsuko.
“No. Well yes. But then not really-” I stutter, unsure how to answer. There wasn’t anything wrong with me. But something may be wrong with Atsuko.
“Is there something wrong?” Atsuko asks again, this time frustration in her voice. “If not, then this really isn’t the time.”
Out of the blue, I hear the muffled voice of a woman in the background. I don’t know why but anxiety suddenly fills me.
“I just need to talk to you.”
“Minami I can’t now.”
“But Atsuko-”
“Please…”
I stop, hearing the quiet and desperate tone. Was she filming now or preparing for a scene? Remorse builds at this thought. I don’t want to be the cause of her distress, especially when it hinders her dream of being an actress.
“Fine.” I force myself to say, surrendering for now. “But when you come home, we need to talk.”
I hear the hesitation but Atsuko soon replies, “…Okay.”
Then, as soon as she finishes, she hangs up. I sit there, listening to the dial tone, left with the heavy weight of discontentment hanging off my arm that can only be relieved by Atsuko’s arrival.
So, attempting to focus my attention on the TV, I wait…again.
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…What?
They…kissed.
How can this happen?
No. I must have heard wrong. Yuko wouldn’t do something like that to me. She told me nothing happened on that day. It wasn’t even a date. They couldn’t have kissed. It’s impossible.
“And I think that I may be truly falling for her.” Hayami continues.
I don’t understand. I am falling apart and yet he is still talking. My mind is screaming for him to stop, but nothing comes out. It’s like my mouth isn’t even connected to my brain. In fact, I think my brain is completely apart from my body because it doesn’t listen to me. I can’t move, I can’t even feel anything, my nerves entirely burnt and numb. So I am forced to remain sitting, hearing this man continue.
“But she won’t have it.” Hayami complains. “It must be this no relationship rule. She won’t respond to my advances.”
Before I can get even feel the slither of happiness, Hayami turns to me, grabbing my hand which I cannot withdraw no matter how much I mentally tell my hand to move.
“So as her best-friend, maybe you could convince Yuko-chan to try dating me?” he earnestly asks. “I don’t mind keeping it a secret. It’s just that I really do like her, and with each passing moment, I’m finding her harder to resist. So could you help me?”
The urge to vomit is lingering in my throat. Then, this extreme sensation turns into a deep anger and pure hatred.
“…No.”
“What?” I hear Hayami’s voice sound.
“No!” I furiously exclaim, slapping his hand away. I stand up, staring down at the man who dared to touch my Yuko and me. “She is a member of AKB48 and the number one rule is no boyfriends. She cannot and will never date you. It is wrong for you to try to force yourself onto her and to try to jeopardise her career for your own personal desires. Yuko isn’t like your fans that would do anything you say. She isn’t that simple. She is much smarter than that. And in my opinion, being Yuko’s best friend, she isn’t dating you just because she is in AKB. It’s because she isn’t interested in you. Please keep away from Yuko. She is mine.”
With that, I rage towards the door. However, before I leave I turn to him, seeing his shocked figure remain plastered to the seat.
“Goodbye senpai.” I bow.
Then, I open the door and slam it behind me. Instantly, I feel my legs rush me towards the exit and out of the set.
I don’t care that I forgot the lunch box. I don’t care that I have not seen Yuko. I don’t care that I was rude. I don’t care that I may have just revealed my relationship. I don’t care if people can see me running away. All I want to do is get out of here.
However as I speed out, I feel my vision cloud. I realise that it is tears that are blurring my eyes and before I know it, trails of water overflow from me, dripping down my chin as my heart finally begins to crack. The betrayal finally sinks in and all I can do is force my body not to crumble onto the floor in agony, wishing a hole would suck me into its black depths and make me forget everything I just heard.
Topic: How Long Does Forever Last? - Chapter 19 (AtsuMina & KojiYuu) 10/09/2015 (Read 88252 times)