A/N: So, before you guys read I want to make it clear that this is the dark side story of Shinoda Mariko and the beginning of her twisted relationship with Kojima Haruna the love of her life, and Takahashi Minami the only real friend she’s ever made, pieced together. They are the same exact characters from my other ongoing Fanfic ‘Candlelit Smile’ (It’s ATSUMINA though if anyone would like to read it you can click on the link here: http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=33468.0 ). *Warning for subtext of adult themes…PLUS I was listening to ‘Oblivion by Astor’ so should be way darker than the other side of the story (C.S.) lol*I’m going to switch on and off taking turns updating each fic, so please be patient and bear with me. I promise to complete both of them as long as the support is there. :’)
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The Story is in 3rd person, but Italics are Mariko’s thoughts ‘: ) ...Hopefully not confusing lol.
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A Tainted Being
Prologue | Sin Love, I deserve no such thing. How can a sick, twisted, monster like myself ever be worthy of such a thing?
I’ve lost myself to madness; my usual calm demeanor has been stripped from me, replaced by an unknown being driven by lust, vengeance, jealousy, ambition and hidden desires.
I want to wrap my snake like arms around your perfect feminine body, to feel your smooth ivory colored skin beneath my fingers, smell the sweet aroma glazing your body, taste those delicate pink lips, and let my tainted hands roam over every inch of your body…
But these desires will never be fulfilled. I know this better than anyone. You are a being of purity, cleansing those worthy of love. But I will never be cleansed. No,
I can never be cleansed.
My corrupted and deceitful heart is too far lost, deep in the sinful waters of oblivion. Encaged in Pandora’s Box and never to be opened again …or so I thought.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Tainted Being
Chapter |One | Stained
Mariko’s eyes fluttered open. Everything looked blurring. She blinked a few more times and her hands reached up to rub at her eyes. It was still early in the morning and there was very little sunlight. The compacted room was grim though, as it always was. Slowly, Mariko dragged herself out of bed.
Another day, just another day of suffering… Meaningless suffering and I could die. My body could die, yet it wouldn't change the scenario one bit.Mariko walked drearily to the bathroom and turned on the tap. The water felt cold over her hands. It was always so cold, just like how it always felt inside her heart. She remembered the time when she was little.
How I used to be such a cheerful girl. I longed for a normal life just like everyone else I saw on the streets. Back then I was naïve, just like any other little girl. When I looked up to my father, I thought I had the best father in the world. …But, I was wrong. The unjust cruelty the man had dealt upon me and my poor mother has long destroyed my hopes and my heart turned cold.
How I hated this pathetic life of mine, and it burns within my very soul the anguish I’ve come to experience. All because of him, my desire for revenge grew bigger with each suffocating day. Mariko splashed the cold water onto her face. Upon impact with the liquid her body began to shiver, but it was nothing uncommon. It happened every single time. She’s complained about the problems encountered with the heating system of their home apartment on numerous occasions, but the manager simply ignored her request.
He’d stare at Mariko lowly from right under his nose, exactly how her mother had been treated by other men she’s come across in her feeble life. They’d have their fun, and then cast her aside like trash that’s become absolutely irrelevant.
That ignorant woman never learns her lesson though.Even with a Part-time job after school, Mariko only made enough to barely cover the cost of rent. Then often have to starve on futile occasions.
During her middle school days, there had been many failed attempts made to try and get in contact with the father who had abandoned her and her mother.
Living in the luxury of his new home with a new wife and a daughter that wasn’t even his to start with…
The man wouldn't even consider giving me the little warmth I had requested, but I have accepted my fate. Mariko squeezed some toothpaste onto the toothbrush and started brushing her teeth, as she looked into the mirror. The people in her life began to flash before her eyes, was there anyone who actually loved her?
Love was a strong word. The closest thing to a loving family for Mariko was that of a friend and her name was Takahashi Minami. They both shared many of the same qualities of being independent, but unlike her… Minami was bright, positive, and full of life. The two have always attended school together since primary school.
For as long as I could remember Minami was the only person who has noticed me and has treated me with any real sense of kindness. She’d always be there for me when I needed someone, and for her I wanted to do the same.
From the hellish experiences, sometimes I wished it was impossible to keep memories.
There was however though one memory I hold very dear. I could still remember the day’s events like it had only occurred yesterday… Minami had said her goodbye to me as we parted after school and when I reached home that’s where I was met with trouble. With my mother nowhere in sight and a drunken stranger in the house, I didn’t know what to do when the gruffly man suddenly came over me. I did my best to fight off his attack, but as he over powered my small build there was very little I could do to resist.
Then like the miracle that she was, I heard Minami’s voice suddenly call out to me from the door. She rushed over at full speed and despite her even smaller frame she was able to tackle the man down. Seizing the chance to escape she grabbed my hand and we both dashed for the exit. Running until our legs gave out Minami led us into a secluded area where she worriedly scanned over my body.
When Minami finally realized that I hadn’t been hurt, she surprised me with a heartfelt cry. She pulled me into a hug and told me how scared she was, she had tightened her hold on me like I was something of value to her…but most importantly of all, the reason behind her tears were that of happiness. Takahashi Minami was happy, because she felt overwhelmed that I Shinoda Mariko was safe.
My eyes had later caught sight of a crushed up plastic wrapped curry bread in her hand, and that’s when I understood why she had returned to my house. Earlier in the day, I had told her there was nothing to eat and that I had no money to buy any food. That day, I smiled for her. I smiled a sincere smile. It was one of the dearest moments of my life.Mariko rinsed her mouth, and dried her face with a towel. After she was done, she began to take care of her hair and apply on some makeup. She’d spend hours looking beautiful, Mariko would do absolutely anything and everything to fix up her image and this was the only reason aside from her good marks in school that led to her being popular. There was no use in associating with anyone who wasn’t able to benefit her though.
Mariko dressed herself in her new school uniform stylishly, before going into the kitchen to prepare her breakfast. It was always the same, bread and strawberry jam. She ate quietly, ignoring her mother who was still passed out in their messy living room. After she finished, she poured a glass of water and walked to back to her study table. There, she found a medicine bottle on the counter top.
Mariko put a pill in her mouth and drank the water, swallowing both of them at the same time. A tear rolled down her cheek. She wasn’t even sad, but it had often happened. Mariko slipped on her shoes and started walking to her new school.
After years of waiting, for the first time she was going to separate from Minami and embrace her acceptance into the Joshibi Gakuen of Arts. Pursuing a career in the performing arts wasn’t the only reason why she so desperately wanted to enroll there though…
An ulterior motive was also present, exceedingly fueled by a selfish passion.
It begins today…
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Upon arriving at the building, Mariko attended a brief meeting with the principal. He was a balding man who seemed eagerly honored to meet with her and had generously guided her to homeroom.
“Everyone take a seat please!” Mariko could hear the voice of a female teacher on the inside trying to straighten out her students.
“There will be a new transfer student joining our department today. I expect all of you to treat her with the right respect and proper care.” The woman first explained to the class, then called out to the awaiting person. “You can come in now.” She commanded.
Mariko was a person with an impeccable walking posture. But, more than a simple posture the atmosphere around her is entirely different. Like an actress stepping onto the stage, making you swallow your breath. The air about her was a cut away from the norm.
There was a silence that swept through the room as she entered. The pale paint plastered on the walls was shaded with the morning glow. The fan in the classroom buzzed, and the notices on the bulletin board rustled crisply in the gentle breeze, but all attention was seemingly focused onto the new student and her unique aura.
It was obvious to the on looking students, that from her form-fitting uniform it was no doubt she was a stylish individual, from the school vest to the short length skirt, and her legs extending beautifully beyond. Everyone held their breath at her surprising beauty.
“Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?” The teacher asked holding a bright smile to her features as she turns to look at the girl.
“Shinoda Mariko.” Although she hadn’t done it politely, even her arrogant voice was evident with finesse.
The whole class remained quiet as the teacher stared at her new student wide-eyed for not even bothering to bow down respectfully.
Mariko scanned over the room until she found who she was looking for and with a smirk, her and the unsuspecting person made eye contact.
I found you.The targeted girl tensed up. Feeling her cheeks heat up from the ardent strength in Mariko’s powerful gaze, she quickly shot her glance elsewhere and began to shift uncomfortably in her seat.
“Err… Well, let’s find a seat for you Shinoda-san.” The teacher stammered out awkwardly a bit intimidated as she turns back to look at the class.
Without even waiting for the teacher, Mariko made her way on over to an unoccupied seat by the window and the same girl from earlier who unfortunately sat in the neighboring seat simply stared at her.
“…I guess that’s settled then.” The teacher let out a defeated sigh.
The neighboring girl kept her eyes on the new girl. It didn’t take long until Mariko returned her gaze and again they both locked each other in.
“H-hi…I’m Kojima Haruna, nice to meet you.” The girl introduced herself nervously with a smile.
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With the signal of a bell, students began to gather around their friends as they take out their lunchboxes. Everyone in the classroom except for Mariko indulged themselves with light-hearted conversations and food.
Mariko simply stared out into the vast fenestra of glass. She watched as a blackbird glided around in circles, almost as if it was awaiting a prey of some sort. Its color in contrast to the blue sky seemingly stood out of place, like the dark stain of ink splattered onto the purity of a white sheet of cloth…The depth of its meaning reached out towards the girl.
‘Drip.’ Mariko looked down on her desk to be met with a drop of crimson. She immediately covered her nose and mouth with a hand and stood up. Her seat made a loud screech as she made her way towards the exit.
Haruna who had remained consciously aware of Mariko’s presence, blinked up at the girl who was making her leave and then worriedly to the desk that was now empty. Her lips went slightly apart when she notice the red spot on the counter top.
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Turning on the water faucet, Mariko leaned down and splashed the cold water over her face. She watched as the pink liquid slid off of her skin and swirl into the drain. After the water cleared itself the girl stopped and switched off the handle. Looking in the mirror Mariko took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair.
“You look like hell…” she mutters to herself.
“Are you alright?” The unexpected voice makes Mariko jump and she turns around to be faced with the very girl who she despised the most.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you…” Haruna apologized to the girl timidly. She casted her eyes down nervously and then back up, before offering a handkerchief to the other girl.
Mariko slowly grabbed it. “…Thanks.”
Haruna just nodded with a small smile and watched as Mariko covered her face in the cloth. As Mariko patted her face dry the shorter girl just stands there awkwardly, and continued her observation from the view in the mirror. Mariko’s eyes lifted up to look in the mirror and Haruna quickly darted her eyes to the side, pretending to fix her hair.
“What?” Mariko asked.
“Huh?”
“You obviously have a staring problem.” Mariko tossed back the girl her dampened cloth.
Trying her best to avoid her eyes this time, Haruna’s gaze was cast downwards. Her head tilted a bit to the side, before she said what she wanted to. “…You look kind of familiar.”
Shit, has she already seen me before…that’s impossible isn’t it?“I’ve never seen you before in my life.” Mariko lied nonchalantly.
After hearing Mariko’s reply the girl thought about it, then as if hearing wonderful news Haruna’s eyes suddenly lit up and a huge grin spreads across her pretty features. “Well then, Shinoda-san let’s be friends.”
Without even blinking Mariko just stared on with a poker face to hide her playful intent. She wanted to mess with the girl’s mind, though she wasn’t quite sure if she was able to completely hide the hint of annoyance in her eyes.
As if she did something wrong Haruna’s confidence began to fade away. “…No?” She asked.
The edges of Mariko’s lips began to lift ever so slightly. With a slight impression of a cat's smile, having caught its prey she replied, “What kind of friends?”
“Eh?” Haruna let out a surprised reaction, but as she took notice of Mariko’s mischievous smile her ears changed colors to a shade of pink. She bit onto her bottom lip nervously and replied, “…I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
Mariko walked towards Haruna. She lifted herself up to sit on the sink counter, close enough to say she was beside the girl but far enough to make a point.
“Why are you here?” Mariko asked bluntly.
Haruna answered quickly saying, “Isn’t it clear as to why I am here?”
And for a moment Mariko lost her poker composure and harshly countered the words, “That doesn’t really answer my question does it?”
“No… I suppose it doesn’t.” Haruna took a couple steps back.
“Hmmm…” Mariko wasn’t sure what to say as to continue teasing the shorter girl.
After a short silence Haruna with a bold sense of confidence from seemingly nowhere asked, “What are you doing here, if I may ask?”
No, you can’t ask.Mariko quickly considered what would be a ‘smart ass’ response and replied with, “Probably the same thing as you are.”
“And that would be?” Haruna leaned closer, why exactly was a mystery to Mariko for the moment.
When she realized the other girl had been playing her game, she copied her and technically returned the same question. “I don’t know. What are you doing here?” Mariko shrugged.
Mariko knew she had won the little mind game when Haruna sighed. She watched as the girl turned around to face the empty stalls, “…I was worried.” She answered with a straight honesty then returned to look at Mariko in the eyes.
Mariko continued to watch over Haruna as the light from the small window bounced with a soft gleam from her eyes. She cleared her throat and wondered as to why she had taken such a notice to the simple beauty, and felt a flood of disgust coarse through her body.
Then it just slipped out. “Nope, that’s not the same reason why I’m here.” Mariko planned on ending the conversation and leaving, but instead Haruna’s words came out again and regained her attention.
“Oh?” Haruna tilted her head in question and Mariko knew from the look in the shorter girl’s eyes that she wanted her to explain. But of course, Mariko didn’t and wouldn’t. Not even if she asked.
“So, then what are you doing here?” Haruna smiled.
Mariko darted her gaze away. She hated Haruna’s eyes… Those eyes she hated to admit, but it was the eyes of this attractive girl that made Mariko want to give in and answer. As Mariko looked up, she wished that the ceiling would all just collapse and bury her right then and there…But, along with Haruna of course.
I wonder, what are the chances of that actually happening?“I’ll tell you… After you tell me what kind of friends we are.” Mariko answered.
“Eh?! …But, I don’t get it?” Was all Haruna could let out in response.
Was this girl some sort of idiot? How could she not answer such a simple question?Mariko looked at her again and immediately regretted it…
The look in Haruna’s eyes screamed, ‘Please, explain it to me!’ only accented more by her face that had curiosity written all over it.
“I’ll give you an option to answer it later.”
“…I guess?”
“How did you even get in here? I thought I locked the door.” Staring at the innocent girl, Mariko almost felt sorry for her... Err no that would be completely false. She felt sorry for her, and yet she hated her so much. Perhaps Mariko even stopped considering Haruna as a person.
“The door wasn’t closed properly…”
The two girls both looked away from each other and remained silent. As Mariko spared a few seconds to take a short look at Haruna…Again, she felt a strange unfamiliar feeling creep up inside of her.
The girl had an incredibly beautiful, but innocent face. Mariko’s eyes wandered from Haruna’s long flowing hair, to those dark orbs that glistened in the light, the soft pink flesh of her pouty lips, and the long graceful curve of her neck. Mariko had only snapped out of her daze when the other girl covered the side of her neck with a hand, having caught on and blushing terribly.
I need a cigarette. Mariko had a bad feeling. Remembering the pack of cigarettes she had in her pocket, she took out the box. While rummaging through her pocket for a lighter,
Mariko had noticed that the other party had turned her attention towards her and her devilishly forbidden item.
“Aren’t you a little too young to smoke? …We’re also still in school you know.” Haruna’s words sounded concerned… and again like Mariko had cared.
Mariko lit up her cigarette and quickly took a huff only to immediately cough the smoke back out. She wasn’t used to it after all. She thought after one pack it would become like drinking a strong carbonated soda.
“Are you ok?” Haruna’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Yeah, I’m still new at this…” Mariko pounded at her chest a little, which she soon learned doesn’t really offer any sort of relief unless you’re choking on liquid or food.
“How long have you been smoking?”
Oddly enough she answered the girl honestly. “This would be the first stick of the second pack of cigarettes that I have.” Mariko took another deep whiff, but this time counted to three before blowing it out in a long stream of smoke. As she did this though, she noticed that Haruna was staring at her.
…Or more specifically, at her lips. And of course she wouldn’t pass up the chance to make Haruna squirm some more.
“They’re dirty… but would you kiss them?” Mariko said adding a hint of seduction to her voice.
A simple and dumbfounded “…Ah.” was Haruna’s timid response. But when her face turned as red as a tomato Mariko had to firmly hold her tongue in between her teeth just to keep herself from laughing.
“It’s just a question. I’m not asking you to nor do I want you to…” It was more or less the truth. Mariko didn’t want Haruna to kiss her. She was merely curious if the girl would, even if her breath stank of nicotine laced smoke. But to be honest, she had not meant to ask the stupid question.
“Why do you ask?”
Why did I ask? I just felt like it? It just came out that way? I had nothing else to say? I wanted to tease her for looking at my lips? …Yeah, that would probably be the best answer. “I’ve taken the first kiss of many people.” Mariko played on.
Looking at Haruna’s shocked face expression Mariko burst out laughing. “Don’t take it so seriously, I’m only joking.”
“…Y-yeah?” Haruna gave a nervous laugh.
Mariko puts out the cigarette in the sink and then tosses it in the trash. She walked towards the exit, “Do you still need me to help you answer the friend question?” Mariko asked without looking back.
“I’d like your input on it first please...” Haruna said.
“Okay.” With simply that she left, leaving the confused girl standing there.
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The students outside voiced themselves noisily, going on about with their physical education. Haruna ran along the track with several other students who also focused on the task. Her attention though was turned when someone called out to her.
“Haru-Nyan, wait for me! ~” She turned back and was met with her classmate Oshima Yuko.
“Ahh, Yuko.” Haruna smiled at the cheerful girl, who in turn flashed an even brighter smile.
The girl wiped at her forehead before beginning to talk, “Are you coming to support me during the auditions later?” Yuko asked.
“Ahah, of course I am!”
Yuko stopped in her track to suddenly tackle Haruna into a hug, and the taller girl nearly tripped over. “You don’t know how happy hearing that makes me!” She pouted with joy.
“You two over there stop playing around and keep going!” The gym teacher shouted at them.
At his outburst Yuko let go of the girl and simply continued her jog, only this time with both of her hands on her cheeks all happy and in a glee.
“Sensei!” Haruna called out raising her hand as if to signal him.
“Yes?” He asked.
“May I go get a drink of water?” Haruna asked slightly out of breath and he nodded in approval.
Haruna took a deep breath as she made her way towards the tree shaded area where the sink fountains resided and smiled. Pushing against her back, a warm spring breeze blew.
Haruna looked up as the white flowers that were blown held their flowery shape and fell from the branches to the ground. Their short, one-day lives reaped by the wind...
When her gaze came back down as she neared her destination she was met with the back of a familiar girl drinking from the water fountain. Unconsciously, her pace slowed down and she felt a sudden nervousness consume over her being.
Hearing the footsteps of an approaching person, Mariko turned off the faucet and stood up straight. She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand and turned around to be met with Haruna’s naïve gaze.
“Thirsty?” Mariko said as she questioned and Haruna simply nodded. She side stepped out of the way and motioned for the other girl to go on ahead.
Aware of Mariko’s eyes on her, Haruna moved her hair away on one side, gently tucked behind her ear and turned on the running water. With a hand set on the handle, she lowered her torso and with her lips against the cool flowing liquid she began to drink from the side of it.
What came shortly after she would have never guessed in a million years…
As Haruna unwarily enjoyed her intake of water, her senses immediately heightened when Mariko’s elegant face swooned in right next to hers… The taller girl stuck out her tongue seductively and softly, she gave a lick to Haruna upper lip.
With the cool liquid still pouring down and the rest of the world drowned out by the sound of water Haruna tightened her grip around the handle. Her heart began to race against her chest and her breathing hitched in her throat.
Hesitantly, she closed her eyes and felt Mariko’s delicate flesh take in her moistened lips. Mariko gingerly ran her fingertips along the graceful back of Haruna and at the sensuous touch, she parted her wet lips. Tilting her head to the side, Mariko deepened in the kiss.
The rays of sunlight as they made their way through the leaves above, shined with a majestic glow onto the two girls and slowly they pulled away from each other.
With a strong lingering gaze, the taller girl wiped at her dampened lips using the side of her index finger and Haruna could only remain speechless as her eyes sparkled up at the artistry in front of her.
“How about being ‘that’ kind of friend?” Mariko whispered.
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A/N: Okay, so I hope this first chapter didn’t bore anyone… I tried. I don’t know, in ‘Candlelit smile’ everyone kept on thinking these two characters were evil haha… So I thought a history of them would be nice to know. They aren’t evil, life was just complicated lol. Let me know if I should continue this or not… Don’t know if anyone was interested in MariHaru’s beginning so yeah...
Sorry for grammar errors…I tried. T^T
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