nothing just dropping by 
[MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it “hey meru! wait!” the voice echoed throughout the hallways while a short girl runs after a certain person.
It was already afternoon and the school was almost empty except for the students who belong to clubs that stays late.
Umemoto Izumi was not sure why that girl was running away from her or why she was even chasing for her.
“Meru!” she called as she sped up, the girl she was chasing after runs faster but with ume’s physical ability she was able to caught up with the girl.
“hey- why are you running away from me?” ume stopped the girl from running, gripping her wrist so that she can’t run away.
“then why are you chasing me?” the girl talked back trying to get out of ume’s grip.
“hah? You suddenly ran away when i called you and you’re asking me why i am chasing you?” ume answered her, annoyed by the girl’s action.
There was a minute of silence before meru spoke in a low tone as if trying not to cry.
“ume just leave me alone..”
“Fine! i don’t care anymore!” ume walked out.
The girl fell into her knees covering her face with her hands.
Tashima Meru can’t hold her tears anymore. She always thought it was unrequited, she knew she shouldn’t have hoped for something even though ume had given her reasons.
“What i was even hoping for?” she tried to smile at herself.
“of course there’s no way it would happen” She reached the handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her face from tears.
“Mou! There’s nothing i can do about it, right?” Meru stood up and walks away going to the classroom to fetch her bag.
she was trying to regain her normal self but sudden tears keeps on coming out as the memories with the one she love keeps on playing in her mind.
Walking through the hallways, she unconsciously remembers why she fell for her.
It wasn’t love at first sight, actually she liked many people but she never felt the seriousness in liking them until she fall for ume.
She was in her 1st year middle school that time, She was a friend of a friend, they were not really close at first , but fate had given them a chance to know each other and little by little they grew closer. She was younger than her but they have similar things that they like and really get along with each other. Their relationship was just like that until she eventually fell for her.
Meru would always jokingly say that she likes her but it was just last year when she was in the last year of Middle school that she decided to confess seriously.
She knew the consequences. she knew that if she confess she might lose their current relation, she will lose their friendship. For meru it was a gamble, but she still decided to confess to her.
It was a sudden confession, she was serious but ume didn’t take it seriously and never gave a proper answer.
Meru thought it was the end, but ume still treats her the same sometimes even more than that as ume had been even warmer to her. That time meru didn’t knew if she would be happy or not, she wants ume’s answer. Because of that meru followed her and enrolled in ume’s junior high school, and would often declare her love for her. With all of those confessions, nothing was answered.
“Ume..” meru unconsciously called out as ume’s voice echoed in her mind.
“‘meru’”
“'hey meru’”
“'meru are you okay?’”
“'I don’t hate you’”
Meru suddenly stammered as she hold onto the door of the classroom trying not to fall.
“mou.. i should really stop this now. I guess it was just my imagination.. There’s no chance for her to love me after all”
meru reached out for her bag and pulled out an envelope and stared at the letter inside it.
“i guess this is really a goodbye now” she breathed out before heading to the faculty room.
- - - - -
“Fine! i don’t care anymore!”
Her angry voice echoed in her mind, Umemoto Izumi was going back to her club but what happened earlier keeps on bothering her.
she was feeling guilty of shouting at meru but she was also feel annoyed and angry.
“Mossan-!” a cheerful voice called her, it was her best friend naopon who was in the same class as her.
“what do you want okamoto-san?” ume snarled at her not wanting naopon to tease her as she was feeling irritated.
naopon tilted her head wondering what could be ume’s problem, though she knew that person might be the reason
“what are you getting angry for? did you have fight with meru?” naopon asked her
“i am not angry, and why would i even have a fight with her?!” ume defended herself when another voice interrupted her
“really? then why did i saw meru crying earlier?” mashiro, ume’s neighbor and childhood friend questioned her.
“She was really crying hard you know. We knew you would only be the reason” mashiro added as she glared at her friend but Ume just looked away.
“Hey answer me you know!” mashiro angrily said as ume keeps on ignoring what she says
“mashiro..” naopon tried to calm mashiro, she knew why is mashiro getting angry. She knew Ume and Mashiro for a long time and that mashiro likes ume though ume is oblivious to mashiro’s feeling. Moreover, mashiro was the reason why meru got to know ume as Meru was mashiro’s classmate in middle school. She was a close friend.
“I don’t really know!” Ume angrily replied and tried to walk out but mashiro stopped her.
“You don’t know? Didn’t Meru confessed to you again?” Mashiro glared at her.
Hearing what her friend says Ume was startled for a second remembering what happened earlier before she was chasing meru. Her clubmates were teasing her about the girl, and asked ume if she likes her.
“Stop it, i don’t like her.”That was she said to her clubmates as she was annoyed at their teasing.
It was just a little while when another clubmate called her as someone was calling for her outside the clubroom. That was when she saw meru, but meru was now running away.
“Did..did she heard that?” ume asked herself, shocked.
“Hey! Why are you not answering, I am asking you a question” Mashiro asked, still glaring at her. “Did you remember now?”
“S-she didn’t confessed..” Ume moved back, she was now feeling regretful of what she did.
“Did something else happened?” mashiro asked again. but ume didn’t answer her again.
“Ume, didn’t you knew? She received a letter from the school she was originally aiming for. It was a scholarship and that she will be moving to Tokyo once she accepted it”
Upon hearing it, Ume was bewildered and can’t even utter a word.
“Last year, She was already accepted in that school but she chased you and enrolled here instead. You know that don’t you?” mashiro stared at ume who seems to be frozen of what she have said “I heard her yesterday, The letter was due today and she can’t decide. I asked her and she said that she was going to confess before she decide on what she’ll do”
“Ume i don’t know what happened between the two of you but are you okay with that?” Mashiro added.
Ume was looking down avoiding the gaze of her friends“Isn’t it good? I mean it’s for her future. There’s no way I could stop her”
“Don’t you like her too?!” Mashiro grabbed ume’s collar, but ume didn’t show any resistant.
“Answer it ume” mashiro annoyingly asked ume tightening her grip but was stopped by naopon
“Ume, You’re really okay with that?” naopon looked at her in eyes seriously
“un..” ume looked away “I’m going now, our club members must be looking for me now”
- - - - -
Walking back to her club, Ume stopped for a while looking far away.
The school was so quiet and all she can hear are her thoughts. Her feelings are messed up, and she doesn’t like that. She walked again while sighing heavily to lighten her feelings. She was now almost near on the gym where they are having a basketball practice when she heard her phone beep.
She reached out the phone on her pocket to see who messaged her, but as she thought it was her friend naopon. Ume stopped for a second thinking if she would read naopon’s message or not because she knew that naopon would just bother her about meru. She don’t want confused feelings any more. She wanted to avoid that, actually she wanted to just run away.
Ume shut her phone off not wanting to see any messages that would bother her feelings more but before ume could walk away, an unexpected incident happened.
A ball from the tennis club practicing near the gym flew in her direction.
Ume was able to avoid it swiftly but lost grip of her phone and dropped it on the bush behind her.
“ah-! Umemoto-senpai! We’re so sorry!” The girls that were practicing ran to her and apologized but Ume only smiled at them coolly like what she always do.
“It’s alright, here” Ume gave the ball back to them as the girls thanked her before going back to their practice
“Good luck on the competition next week okay? I’m going to cheer for you” Ume added,waving at them and giving them a gentle smile, making her juniors blush.
“Stop flirting with others, baka..”
Ume suddenly let out a laugh reminded of how meru would get jealous whenever she’s being like that to other people. It’s natural for her to be kind and caring for other people, but meru would easily get jealous of that.
At first, ume always feel awkward whenever meru shows her jealousy of others but she got used of it already. Moreover, lately she even find amusing to tease meru making her jealous though she always make sure not to go overboard.
“Meru..” Ume sighed remembering her problems. She shook her head to forget all of her thoughts and just went back in finding her phone.
A little while, she already saw her phone. Ume picked it up and was about to put it on her pocket when she noticed that the keychain on her phone was a bit loose.
Ume stared at the keychain remembering the time she bought it. It was a blue dolphin keychain she bought with meru when they went to an aquarium park.
Actually it was a pair keychain and she gave the other pair to meru which made meru really happy.
“Ume! i like you! I really really like you!!”Ume heard meru’s voice in her mind and unconsciously smiled. It was what meru said after they went to the aquarium.
“I shouldn’t have made her cry.. I mean she’s going far away now-” ume stopped on what she’s saying not wanting to think about it anymore but no matter how she tried not to think about it, she was really bothered. “She should’ve told me earlier she’s moving away.. no, i should’ve ask her”
“But i guess it’s too late now.” Ume looked down. She was disappointed on what’s happening but won’t admit it thinking that she may have just been feeling guilty at making the girl cry.
Ume sighed and turned her phone on. She then read her friend’s message.
She was just staring at it for a few minutes before uttering something.
“What I feel huh, i don’t even know it. Why am i even bothered? I don’t know. I don’t really know.”
“It’s just that i made her cry and i’m feeling troubled by that.. right?” ume thought trying to convince herself. “Can’t i just leave it like this? She’s going away now you know, and it’s for her future. I should be happy for her.” She sighed again but her feelings are more honest than her mind
“Well.. of course I would be sad, because she’s an important friend-” Ume paused for a while
“right, friends- we’re just friends.. we’re just close friend I think”
Ume tried to gave herself a small smile but she felt a sudden pain on her chest. She wanted to just forget it all but her feelings are interrupting her to do so, reminding her how meru brought `chaos` to her world.
“ah~ there’s no one who would bother me every morning now” she added trying not to let any tears drop.
“I wonder if she will forget me after she moved out? I can’t blame her. I don’t suit her. I also made her cry.” she said in a low voice feeling a drop of liquid fell on her cheeks.
Ume lift her face up and closed her eyes. In her mind, She was seeing Meru smiling at her while calling her.
“Have I really fallen for her?” she asked herself
“But I shouldn’t stop her. I don’t want to be the reason to stop her from her dreams.”
Finally, Ume stepped away but after a few steps she suddenly stopped.
She turned her back and started running.
`Why don’t you just be honest with what you feel? If you continue being stubborn, you might regret it throughout your life.`
“Will I - will I really regret it?” Ume runs faster remembering her what her friend, naopon, messaged her.
“I just wanted to talk to her that’s all..” She reached the school hallways looking around. She stopped for a while and messaged meru asking where she is. ume ran again going to the library where meru mostly hangs out while waiting for her after class.
Couldn’t find her in the library, Ume continued running and looking around the first year’s classrooms before she saw some meru’s classmates.
Ume asked them if they saw meru but unfortunately, they also don’t know where she is.
“Meru! Where are you?” Ume cried to herself as she ran searching for her in every floor in every corner of the school building. She also checked her phone to see if meru mailed her back but she got no reply.
She was already tired and was about to search outside the school when she heard her friend shouting at her.
“Ume you’re so slow!! We haven’t seen her left the school gates yet. Have you tried looking at the faculty room? She might have been processing her transfer documents” Mashiro shouted at her as soon as she saw ume running.
“n-not yet, i’ll go look- thanks!” ume thanked her friend before running again. She felt shame for her actions earlier, ignoring what her friends was saying but was thankful because despite of stubbornness, they still continue to be there for her.
Ume ran as fast as she could reaching the faculty room. She stopped at the door for a moment second guessing if she’ll go in or just wait as she don’t have any business with the teachers but her eagerness to see meru made her pull her courage out asking one of the teachers.
“Tashima-san? She already left earlier. About 20 minutes ago I think. Why are you asking?” the teacher replied.
“Uhm- sensei about her transfer..” ume tried to ask again hoping that the teacher would give her information as she had been her student.
“Are you Tashima-san’s friend?” the teacher smiled “About that, This was actually her last day here since her documents have already been processed. The letter was long due but she asked if she can submit until this Friday. She might not wanted to leave her friends behind but I think we should be happy for her having accepted in an elite academy.”
Hearing what the teacher told her, Ume felt her time stopped.
All she can feel was regret, that she should have asked her, that she shouldn’t have shouted at her. That she shouldn’t made her cry. And that she shouldn’t have said she doesn’t like her.
Ume excused herself and went out the faculty room. Trying to hold her emotions, she slowly walks away.
She can’t explain what she was feeling, she was angry, she was disappointed in herself. Until now, she didn’t knew how important Meru is to her life.
“enough already, It’s too late now.” she murmured holding her tears. Her mind was blank and her heart was shattered. She doesn’t want to go back to her club room nor go back home. Ume went upstairs going to her classroom, knowing it would be empty as it was already late and the third years are busy for university exams. She just wanted to be alone an let out the pain of losing an important person without realizing.
Ume opened the classroom’s door but was bewildered when she saw an unexpected person standing in front of her desk. It was the image of the person she wanted to see the most.
“M-Meru!” Ume seems to be frozen and can’t utter a word except for the girl’s name.
“ah! uhm- I just forgot something,.” meru was surprised to see ume, she stopped for a second looking away at ume’s gaze “i couldn’t give you this personally- uhm, i’ll be leaving tomorrow so i thought i’ll just leave it here on your desk”
Ume looked at her desk and saw a letter and on top of the letter was the pink dolphin keychain that she gave meru. Seeing it, ume felt her chest been stabbed. She stared at meru, not sure of what she’ll say.
Ume walked a few steps , wanting to stop her but she suddenly stopped her movement with the thought of, if she stopped her from leaving, she’ll be preventing meru from her dreams, from her future.
Meru looked at her, she waiting for ume to say or do something but gave up after a few minutes of silence.
“Ume” meru called
“I really love you. Thank you for everything”
“good bye”
Meru tried to smile but her tears can’t help to fall. She wiped her tears and walked out slowly passing beside ume. Even for the last time, she was hoping ume would do something.. but as their distance grew larger she can only feel more hurt.
Ume really wanted to stop her but her body seems to be frozen from where she was standing. She wanted to slap her face for being a fool, for being dishonest and stubborn on what she’s feeling. For not realizing how meru is important for her until this time. She don’t want to lose her.
Breaking all her thoughts, Ume reached for her grabbing her hand and pulling her in for a hug.
“Don’t go!”
ume tried not to think of anything. She just wanted to be honest with her feelings. Telling Meru what she really feel.
“eh?” Meru was surprised of ume’s actions. she already gave up and was not expecting ume to do that.
“Meru, Please don’t go!” ume hugged her tighter as if trying not to let her go.
“you should have told me that earlier baka” Meru spoked in a low voice still can’t believe ume’s action.
“Up until now I haven’t realized how important you are to me, I don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry for making you cry” Ume pulled herself back grabbing meru’s shoulders while looking at her in the eyes.
“you said you didn’t like me” Meru looked away, She couldn’t hold her feelings. She already did her best for ume to like her and in the end she was hurt but she can’t do anything about it.
“yeah i don’t like you” ume smiled while looking at meru who was trying not to shed any tears. Suddenly, ume switched their places pushing meru on the chair and making her sit before leaning in.
“I don’t just like you, I love you” ume leaned in, closing their distance and stealing meru’s lips before flashing a mischievous smile making the younger girl bewildered.
“W-w-what?” meru held her lips startled. She really can’t believe what is happening. All of a sudden the pain seems to be vanished.
“am I dreaming?” meru uttered while ume gave her a laugh and a pat on the head. “Is this really happening?” meru asked again. “I c-can’t b-”
“I can’t believe i’m doing this either” ume leaned making their forehead touch. “but it’s true”
“Meru, I love you”
Hearing it again, Meru felt her heart palpitating. She always thought it was unrequited but still continued to believe in `love`. She was longing for this, for ume to love her back. Meru suddenly jumped up from her seat hugging the older girl. It was like a dream came true, and she couldn’t contain her happiness.
“hey-” ume scolded the younger girl, holding her while regaining her balance “geez.. don’t suddenly jump to me like that, that’s dangerous” she helplessly smiled at her
“But it’s rare for you to admit your feelings” meru giggled at her while ume looked away with a flustered face.
“don’t say that idiot” ume hid her face “I was afraid of losing you, you know”
“but what should we do? i can’t cancel the transfer application now”
meru looked down sniffing “i want to be with you”
“don’t cancel it, just go” ume reached for meru’s face wiping the tears.
“i don’t want to stop you from chasing your dreams.” she added giving meru a gentle smile.
“but i-”
“wait for me” ume held meru’s lips with her index finger stopping the girl from saying anything. “Do you remember that university from my options? uhm, the one i told you that was good but i’m not considering because it’s far from here. about that, i might try to take an entrance examination there.”
“eh?” meru looked at her confused “but you said you don’t want to leave our home town and the exams there is really difficult”
“yeah, but it is also in tokyo so-” ume felt her cheeks flushed. “well i’m not sure if i can pass but-”
“don’t say that without even trying!” meru smiled widely, leaning her body on the shorter girl, Up until now she still feels like she was dreaming, still can’t believe ume doing this. She was anxious of their future now but she decided to just trust ume “I will wait, so do your best to definitely pass ok?”
“un!” ume smiled back. Locking their hands and gazing at each other’s eyes, the silence between them felt comfortable. Her confused feelings earlier was completely gone, all she can feel was relief. The relief of having to realize what she really feel. Like Meru, she was also unsure of what their future would be, but what’s important for her now was she didn’t lose her.
Topic: 愛してるのに、愛せない (NatsuMado OS) (Read 16726 times)