um, hello again
i've come back with a new Mayuki OS, hope it isn't lame too much
and sorry again for my grammar and spelling mistake...
She
Mayu's POV
Lying in bed, I look out window. It’s May, the weather is hot with the burn-it-all like sunlight. The cloudless blue sky today makes the weather is even hotter. Look down to the garden, I see her doing the laundry. I could see her back, her long hair is tied ponytail. I immersed myself in seeing her back. She’s drying clothes in the sun, hold her hands out boosting up the sky, as if she’s holding the sky of May. And I know that, not only the sky of May but also my sky is in her hold…
I love her but I know that some things are impossible. She is my sister-in-law, though I dont make clear about the complicated relationship between my brother and her, she’s still my brother’s wife and my sister-in-law in people’s eyes.
Lost in thought I don’t realize its lunch time. My brother is back from work and buy food for 3 of us. When go down to the dining room, I see my brother preparing the food, all of the food is her favorite. Even the blind can see that he loves her deeply. Since our childhood, he always protected her and tried showing his love to her, they are a well-matched couple, but she always behaved politely toward him just like toward other. Even their marriage arranged by parents, she just did as they told. Maybe my brother knew that, he never touched her or did something excessive. So far the most intimate action of them is holding hand. Sometimes I wonder what is her real feeling?
My bother hasty finishes the lunch to go back to work. He always try spending anytime possible to be with her even busy. Finish my lunch, I go up my room, because she always recure the housework. Since our childhood, she always protected and spoiled me. Even now, when we’ve grown up she’s still staying the same as past. Oh, that’s right, my borther unchanges too. It’s me, just me, the only one changes, to be in love with her, my sister-in-law, such a traitor. So I always try distancing myself with her.
Im in the crucial time of my last year in highschool. I enrolled an university in another city to avoid her. I repeat myself so many times that she is impossible, I must erase these sinful feelings…
My brother has gone for a mission in a week, just only me and her at home. I was wonder should I stay at my friend home to avoid her. But then she ills, and I have to stay at home to look after her. Though she and my brother is married, they still stay in their own room. Difficultly restrain myself from doing something excess with her, I barely breath. After took some medicne, she fell asleep. Look around her room I realize her room is full of star paper jar. What is the thing she long for? even on her table, there are some piece of paper to fold star. Really? I wonder what is the thing that she long for so much. And then, on a piece of paper is her writing.
“Mayu, today you’re so beautiful.”
I cant mistake, it’s really her writing. And that is… my name? look around her room one more time I gradually realize something. Come back to my room in silent, I know that I must go away from here.
That year, I successfully pass the entrance exam of the university I enrolled. It’s take 2 hours traveling by train from my home to school so I rent apartment at that city. i usually phone home to ask about their life, I secretly hope that she’s still fine, and if the one take phone is her I always ask her to give phone to my brother. I afraid that if I hear her voice, I will give up everything just to run to her.
Christmas is coming, I decide not to go back home though it’s family time. Though feel so lonely and want to meet her so much, I know that it’s just impossible. Walking aimlessly on the crowded streets, I look at couples and familes and think of her. When snow is cover everything with white color, I go back to my apartment. I startle to see some one sitting in front of the door. Hear sound of my footstep, she lift her face up hasty. When look at my figure reflect in her eyes my feelings are overwhelming, I cry. She hold me dearly and pat my head gently until I calm. I don’t want to ask why she here, where my brother, why they don’t go together, or anything. I just want to enjoy her warm and her fragrant and her hold. Once in a lifetime, I follow my selfishness. That night, I fall asleep in her hold, when her was in dreamland I kiss on her forehead. The next morning, she left early, I just pretend sleeping and see her leave. Because I cant bear to see her off, and I will do anything just to make her stay with me. The next time I call home, my brother don’t say anything, just remind me styding and take good care of myself. As if that christmas night was only my dream…
At university I make friend with a senior in photograph club. He’s handsome, gentleman and playboy. He’s kind of the type that can easily makes girl fall in love. Actually he’s very serious-minded and has passion in his photographic work. He said to me that his dream was a photographer. Though Im not into photograph but I really like him and then we become close friend.
I was always a lonely wolf. Not the type that be bullied or everyone avoid, but I feel so lost among the crowd. Even with my best friend I still feel some distance, don’t mistake me, I wanna be close with people around me but everyone is so strange. They wear mask and tell lies with other. I cant understand why they do that so I cant do that. Gradually I become cold and distant. But he is so different with others, he is kind warm-hearted and enthusiastic with everybody even me. Sometimes we go to the cinema together or have dinner. People usually told that we are a sweet couple. I know I like him, but it’s just "like" not anything more…
My birthday, I thought that I would be alone, but he accompanies me all day, we have dinner together and go to the cinema. But somehow I feel uneasy and anxious. A sweet dinner, a romantic film, all of them cant make me feel anything. I just want to go home immediately. and then he takes me home, when we stand near my apartment he kiss in my lips and whisper to my ear happy birthday. I froze, my head is empty. He smirks then slips birthday present into my pocket and go away. When I revive, I hasty run to my apartment. There she is, the one whom I love, standing and smiling patiently to me. Maybe she has seen the whole sceen. Pain, guilty is all I feel, I thought Ive forgotten her but it’s seem that I was wrong… “Happy birthday to you” she says, smile. Why? I wanna cry loud to release my feelings. She is the only one can make me cry, make me smile, make me love her to bring hurt to my heart... I try holding my tears. She is my sister-in-law, she is my borther’s wife. I just nod to her in silent instead of say thank. She hesitantly look at me then says she wanted to give me a birthday present. It’s a wood model of ship with white sail. On the sail is her writing “Mayu, ganbatte!”. She says that Im alike that ship, go far and do anything I want, achieve my dreams. I bow down to hide my tears, she gently pat my head. Suddenly my phone is ringing, its him. He asks if I like his present. It’s a beautiful necklace with a blue rose pendant. I reluctantly say thank to him because until now Ive remember his present. Realize that my voice is different he just told me to rest soon. When the call ends, she has been gone. I run after her just to see her figure has been far away. My heart is broken into pieces.
Time slips away, I graduate from university. Struggling in a strange city with no relationship, no friends, I cant find work. Once again, it’s him to help me. Thank to him i have a work, an editor at his magazine. He has helped me so much since we was in university. I don’t know how to pay his debt. He just told me that he had one thing need my approval but not now. Somehow I know what he means, but still my heart hasn’t been for him yet…
People around me start marrying. Though im not close with my friends I still go to one of my friend’s wedding in my hometown. Somehow something in heart stings when I thought about come back to my hometown. Most of guests are my old aquaintances, wonder if she and my brother come here. Ah, I see her, she’s standing right there, beautiful and perfect, like a goddess. But why does she go alone, where is my brother? why he let her go alone. Before I can relize, I was immersed myself in watching her. Suddenly, she turns back and sees me watching her like an idiot, she smile and say hello to me. I reluctantly say hi and look around, don’t dare to to see her eyes. My friends come to me say hi and talk, so she leaves. One of my friends says that my brother has dirvoced with her, that because she has someone else, and things that I cant hear anymore. My head become empty, why? My brother really loves her, how could he do that? But then I couldn’t find her, she left the wedding.
When I return to my apartment, sudden he proposed to me. Though I don’t have anything for him, I owed him so many things, I accept. In the end of year, we are wedding. She and my brother come. But then I realize that they just like 2 old friends. A thought pop up in my head that maybe I have a chance, maybe… but then, I was about become someone’s wife. My brother says that I just need follow my heart, he always support me. When I turn to her, she just nod with a smile, and says please be happy. How can I be happy if I cant be with you? He goes to my side and takes me to a vacant room. I look at him puzzeling, our wedding is about starting. He says that from the beginning he could feel nothing from me, he feel that I always see him as a friend. I just bow my head guilty. He smile sadly, let’s gamble he says. He will hide the wedding ring in his hand, I just have to choose his left or right hand. If the ring is in his hand, the wedding will continue, if it’s not, the wedding will be canceled, and he will let me go. He says that he wont blame me for anything, all of these things are his faults, that he is selfish. No, its me who selfish, he’s too tolerant. I know I must choose, take a deep breath, I choose the right hand. In a guilty second I wish his right hand will not hold the ring. He looks at me gently and tells me to chase after what I really want. I cry, hug him. He’s my best friend, he has done too much for me. My whole life will be in his debt. And I go out as he told, fail to notice that neither his left hand nor right hand hold the wedding ring, and even his tears…
After our wedding is cancelled, he moved to New York. And I don’t have a chance to meet him, though I try to keep in touch with him but gradually we don’t talk anymore…
My brother told me that he would move to another city to live. Though I completely oppose his choice, he doesn’t move an inch his decision. Cant bear that our house will be sold, I return to our hometown, if its possible I would bought the house back. Standing nostalgically in front the house, Im overwhelmed with my beautiful memories with her. We played hide and seek in the garden, she always hid there. We sat under the porch and talked about our dreams, sometimes she would sang for me. Oh, right, until now I’ve realized in my whole life I had always harboured her.
Lost in thought, I fail to realize someone walk out of the house. Under the sunlight, she looks beautifully like a goddess. She smiles at me “Mayu, welcome home.”
Yuki's POV
Since I was a child, I’ve loved the girl next door, I always find a chance to come to her house and play. And because of that, people thought I liked Sae, and so did Sae. They said we were well-matched couple, my parents thought so. And when we’ve grown up, we got married. I couldn’t say that I loved Mayu, but if I become her sister-in-law I would have more chance to be with her. I know my love is impossible, but once in a while I wish a miracle would happen for me. Everyday I fold a star, every star I write things I want to say to Mayu. Gradually jars of star fill in my empty room.
When Mayu pass the exam to university, I was happy for her but then she decided to leave us. Since the day she left, I become quieter, Sae realizes that too. Somehow I think he knows my feelings. He’s a good man, always protect and love me but for me he’s always a good friend.
Near Christmas, Mayu phoned us to say that she wouldn’t come home. She usually calls home but somehow I feel she avoids me. I wonder what her reason is. She becomes so distant, so far… Sae told me to pay her a visit. How about you Sae I ask, but he just smiles. I about decided not to visit her, but Sae told that he would visit a friend, that I really should visit her.
Standing anxiously on train, I imagine her face, will she happy to see me? When I came to her place, it had been evening. Street is crowded with couples and parents. A thought flash to my mind that maybe she is with someone, and I should come back, when I see her apartment is locked. But then I wait patiently and hopelessly in front of her apartment. There she is. I was finding my word to talk, suddenly she cried. Don’t know what to do, I just hold her tight and pat her head. She didn’t say anything to me. That night we sleep together in peace. When the dawn comes, I know it’s time for me to leave. I love to see the girl I love sleep in my arm but I know that happiness is not for me, I have to leave. Kiss her swollen eyes still closed, I wonder why she cried. Maybe she is hurt by someone? To think about a boy has the right to love her and then hurt her, my heart about explodes with sadness. When I go back home, Sae greets me and ask if the visit was okay and not anything else. Even the next time Mayu call home, he didn’t remind anything. He’s a good man, maybe I should be with him…
Her birthday, Sae helped me makes a present. A ship with white sail “Mayu, ganbatte!”. I hope when look at the ship she would always know she has someone support whatever she does, whenever she goes. When wait her in front of her apartment, I saw thing I afraid. She and the one she loves are happy together. I don’t know what to say or what I should feel anymore, I just give her my present in silent. Her blush face is so cute, she bows her head. Suddenly her phone ring, its her boyfriend. I quickly say a goodbye then run out of her apartment. I afraid if I stay a longer, I will not hold my tears anymore. I know I have to give my love up, and stay by Sae’side…
Sae's POV
Since I was child, I’ve fallen in love with her, she is the perfect girl in my eyes. My biggest dream is making her happy. She always came to play at my house, and I mistook she like me too. When we got married I realized she doesn’t love me, im not the one she loves. I still try making her fall in love with me but then i know I couldn’t. Love cant force. She likes a free bird, I should let her fly in her sky not to bind her with my heavy feelings. My dream is making her happy so why I still bind her. One day, I let her go. She just smiles at me and says thank. I know I was right, so I went to a faraway place to not bother her anymore. my patience will one day pay off. I hope you and the one you love have one hundred years together.
Topic: She (SaeMayuki OS) (Read 10553 times)