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Author Topic: Innocence (Fourth Gen Love)  (Read 48678 times)

Offline YoukaiChica

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Innocence (Fourth Gen Love)
« Reply #100 on: September 07, 2006, 05:31:43 AM »
Quote from: rndmnwierd
Yes, everyone loves Maki. Or they at least worship the ground she walks on...


I know I do!

Offline Mikan

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Innocence (Fourth Gen Love)
« Reply #101 on: September 07, 2006, 08:39:42 AM »
Dahn dahn daaaaaaaaaahhh...
Oh no...

Who is it? Im guessing Maki in the bushes. Guess or hoping whatever..

Read the complete Doki Doki!!

Offline TydusArandor

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« Reply #102 on: September 09, 2006, 12:37:53 AM »
Been following this for a while, just wanted to drop by. Great job so far, hope nothing bad happens to any of them with that stalker person o_o;. Hope there's an update soon, but there's no need to rush :).

Offline rndmnwierd

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« Reply #103 on: September 09, 2006, 01:17:21 AM »
Quote from: TydusArandor
Been following this for a while, just wanted to drop by. Great job so far, hope nothing bad happens to any of them with that stalker person o_o;. Hope there's an update soon, but there's no need to rush :).

 
 
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Offline rndmnwierd

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Innocence (Fourth Gen Love)
« Reply #104 on: September 09, 2006, 01:19:12 AM »
Next update, while I'm here!




Kago looked down in shame, feeling tears begin to well up in her eyes, “Someone, meaning me, could have gotten seriously hurt!” she hated being scolded by Nakazawa-san but something made today worse. Maybe that she actually had been hurt a little.

The other girls had never seen Yuko so mad before, all that had happened was that she had tripped on some toy the twins had been playing with and caught her fall on the corner of a table. She had some pretty bruises on her forearms to show for it, too, but she had torn into the kids with a vengeance, as if they had deliberately set it up.

Now both girls were on the verge of tears and nobody dared stand up for them, it was every woman for herself when it came to Nakazawa’s temper. “You can’t just leave things lying around! And we’ve had complaints of you pulling pranks on the staff, too!”

Pranks? When had this been a serious issue? All of the twins’ pranks were harmless.

Kago wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold back her sobs, but she knew that if she didn’t it would only make the older woman angrier. She heard Tsuji sniffle quietly beside her as Nakazawa’s rant reached it’s climax. “You should be trying to grow up!”

Suddenly, she went quiet. Surprised, both girls cautiously lifted the heads to see the woman grind her teeth together and say with finality, “I’m graduating Morning Musume.”

There was a stunned silence in the room, then Tsuji suddenly dropped to the ground and brought her knees up to her chest, sobbing loudly. As the room exploded in an uproar, Nakazawa turned and started walking away, apparently satisfied with her announcement.

Kago threw herself at the woman, latching her arms around her waist and crying into her back, “Please don’t go! We’re sorry! We’ll be quiet from now on. We’ll do everything you ask of us. We’ll stop pranking people!”

Tsuji crawled pitifully over to them and hugged onto Nakazawa’s thigh tightly, “We’ll give up candy and cake. We’ll stop playing in the studio. We’ll behave! We’re sorry! Don’t go!” it was obvious that the two were dead serious. A few girls were even shedding tears of their own.

Nakazawa said nothing, just shook them off and continued out the door. The twins just hung onto each other and cried; they would be inconsolable for the rest of the day.




----BTW, I've decided that instead of happy, fluffy love, I'm going to do a stroy with happy, fluffy love and drama/angst. Expect drug use in much later chapters.....

Offline freya86

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Innocence (Fourth Gen Love)
« Reply #105 on: September 09, 2006, 09:36:30 AM »
Waaaa, soooo sad!!! :cry:

I'm sorry for not commenting regularly, but I'm in the middle of moving so life's a mess right now. Anyway, I loved all the last chapters, and I'm curious about the next one(s) :D

// renai revolution ~ a j-pop/h!p slash community~ // yuko . kei . aika . koha . kanna . nacchi //

Offline Mikan

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« Reply #106 on: September 09, 2006, 11:38:40 AM »
Wow, I havent been here for only a day or so but its amazing how quickly everyone gets to work!!

The chapters are nothing short of fucking fantastic, as is the usual standard of your writings.

The graduation of Yuko from the story was well done. The idea of the girls pleading with her and swearing to give up their 'bad behaviour' suited their characters and also the part mentioning Yuko not talking on her way out. You have a thing with small details. You write them in so subtley its perfect, it really makes the story that much more believable.

That deal with Maki, I was confused too. I get that everyone loves Maki. Who wouldnt! At first I didnt like her either but I have this soft spot for girls that arent afraid and are sport (thus Yoshizawa and Goto rank highly on my list)

Have you written Goto as a bi or swayable character? I cant remember and cant see any evidence to determine :D Just curious about your plans for her..thats all..

Read the complete Doki Doki!!

Offline rndmnwierd

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Innocence (Fourth Gen Love)
« Reply #107 on: September 09, 2006, 11:46:58 PM »
Quote from: freya86

I'm sorry for not commenting regularly, but I'm in the middle of moving so life's a mess right now. Anyway, I loved all the last chapters, and I'm curious about the next one(s) :D


Nah, it's okay. I really do understand that people are busy and stuff, my brain just clicks funny sometimes and weird things exit my mouth. :oops:

Ah, moving. How I've only met you once....


Quote from: Mikan
::: PRAISE :::


:embarrassed: Aww, that's so nice to say. I'm happy you think I do those kinds of things well. I try to portray them like I've seen in the makings of footage and things like that. I also had a really clear image of this scene, even though it changed a bit from the original version.

Quote from: Mikan
Have you written Goto as a bi or swayable character? I cant remember and cant see any evidence to determine  Just curious about your plans for her..thats all..


I will eventually have plans for Maki. I just have to figure out how to write her first... ;-_-

Anyway, I was sorta poking fun at how cool everyone sees her, and I know that she's always been a kind of mentor to the fourth gen, especially Rika and Yossui.

Now I have to do research.... Back to work...

Offline rndmnwierd

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« Reply #108 on: September 10, 2006, 02:22:14 AM »
Okay, update time!




The atmosphere of the Musume girls had been quiet since Nakazawa’s shocking announcement. Kago and Tsuji had barely said two words all week, aside from polite greetings and phrases, and it seemed as though all of their youthful energy had just been sucked right out of them.

Yossui looked at them, quietly sitting against the wall in the Momusu dressing room holding hands, and sighed. This had to stop.

Finding Nakazawa hadn’t been hard, she’d been on the warpath all week and you could always hear her chewing someone out. Getting her to listen to reason would be a bit more challenging.

’Right. That’s like saying wrestling a bull is a bit challenging.’

Walking up behind the woman’s cowering victim, Yossui put her hands on her hips resolutely. This was a showdown. “Nakazawa!”

The older woman turned her attention to the intruder, letting her former prey escape. “What the hell do you want?”

“I want you to apologize to Aibon and Nono.” Yossui knew it was a tall order, but you had to start somewhere.

Nakazawa laughed in her face, “Do you presume to give orders to me? I’m still leader here!”

“Do you know what you’ve done to those girls?!” the younger pointed towards the dressing room, “You’ve destroyed them! I haven’t seen a room that somber since the last time I went to a funeral.”

“They’ll get over it.” The woman waved her hand, as if dismissing it, but her voice wavered slightly.

“No, I don’t think they will. And you know it too. You made them think that you’re leaving because you couldn’t handle them. Do you know what kind of damage that does to a child? To think that they’re not wanted? To think that they drive people away?”

Nakazawa didn’t say anything, but Hitomi knew that she was getting through, “You have to do something, they’ll only listen to you now.”

The woman turned her face away, hiding any emotions that might be leaking through. Then she turned and glared harshly at Yossui, “What do I care? They’re just brats anyway!” Then she pivoted on her heel and walked away.

Hitomi reached out to the side and punched the wall, thoroughly frustrated with Nakazawa. She started heading back to the dressing rooms, filled with determination and desperation.

As she rounded the corner near the room, she noticed Yaguchi and Kaori huddled outside. They seemed worried, occasionally glancing inside and then going back to whispering. Yossui could guess who they where talking about.

She marched right past them and into the room, seeing the twins in the same spot as she’d left them. Something cracked inside her as she called out to the two, “Play with me!”

The girls just stared at her blankly, so she tried again, “I’m bored guys. So come play with me. Let’s run around the hallways and prank the staff. Please?” they shook their heads silently, in perfect unison, as if they’d practiced the creepy sisters routine. “Forget Nakazawa! You have to get up! You have to come play with me!” Yossui heard her voice break on the last word and turned around, feeling a sudden rush of tears.

She knew that if she cried in front of the twins, it would only make them cry too. So, she swallowed her pride and walked out of the room, brushing roughly past her senpai.




----- A continuation! Cuz we all know how much suspense is worth these days!

Offline YoukaiChica

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« Reply #109 on: September 10, 2006, 03:11:37 AM »
Not a continuation!! Oh, you're such a tease.

Offline erink

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« Reply #110 on: September 10, 2006, 03:54:05 AM »
This is the first chance I had to catch up on other people's stuff. Amazing work. I think the Yuuko updates have been fantastic.

Offline MyDearYossi

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« Reply #111 on: September 10, 2006, 07:04:28 PM »
What you have done to Nono and Aibon, Yuko... :cry:  At least Yossi tried to cheer them up.

I don't know have I thanked you yet, so thanks for this fic:heart: :D

Offline rndmnwierd

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« Reply #112 on: September 10, 2006, 07:43:45 PM »
Aw, I am a tease! So here's the next part.




She noticed Nakazawa as she was coming back from the bathroom, the only time she was separate from Aibon now. It wasn’t unusual for the woman to be walking, or walking down a hallway, seemed like it happened everyday, but it was unusual for her to be marching with a specific goal in mind.

Since the woman’s graduation announcement, Nono had tried to avoid contact with her as much as possible, seeing as she was responsible for her departure, but it couldn’t always be done. So in situations like this, passing Nakazawa in the hall, she simply moved aside.

The woman was frightening, charging towards her like that, so Nono immediately threw her back against the wall with a thud, and tried to make herself as flat as possible. The avoiding her part didn’t work very well when Nakazawa stopped in front of her. Tsuji could do nothing except look at the ground.

“Nono.” The older woman called gently. She still didn’t look up, “I’m not leaving until spring.”

That got her attention, though, and her eyes were drawn upwards in surprise. Before she could realize her mistake and look away, though, Nakazawa grabbed her chin gently.

“It’s not your fault, or Ai-chan’s. It’s Tsunku’s. He said he wanted me to concentrate on my solo career and I was angry. I like Morning Musume and being a part of it. Especially with you and Kago in it. When you don’t make me feel old, you make me feel wanted and respected. Thank you for that. And I’m sorry I yelled at you.” It seemed liked she’d practiced hard on that and it all came out in a rush.

None the less, Nono heard it and understood perfectly, but her voice seemed to have left her. So she threw herself at the woman and cried into her shirt. She felt Nakazawa pat her on the head and figured that was the closest she’d get to a hug at the moment.

“Now now, don’t cry. I’ve still got one more single before I leave. Let’s concentrate on that.” And like that, it was over and Tsuji felt better than she had all week.

Nakazawa had that effect on people. Nono watched the older woman walk away with stars in her eyes.



----And we have resolution! I really think that all the girls respect Nakazawa, but I can never get the image of Nono crying into her arms at the graduation concert out of my head. It was so sweet.

And thanks everyone for the comments. And your welcome, I guess! Afterall I write for my readers!

Offline TydusArandor

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Innocence (Fourth Gen Love)
« Reply #113 on: September 10, 2006, 10:11:27 PM »
Quote from: rndmnwierd
Ah! Welcome, friend, to the wide world of JPHiP! :welcome
Comments are my bread and butter and I use them to survive. I don't even eat usually. Ask my friends.


Thanks, here's some more bread and butter for you then XD.

I'm glad the Yuko issue got resolved. Now we only have the mysterious person and the drug use thing to worry about...

Offline Tanachan

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Innocence (Fourth Gen Love)
« Reply #114 on: September 10, 2006, 11:14:55 PM »
yeah...and here's a nice juicy steak for you...

THIS FIC IS AMAZINGLY AWESOME BEYOND ALL AWESOMELY AWESOMENESS!!!!!!

PLEASE WRITE MORE!!!!!

From,
A W and IshiYoshi fan, and author of the first Saitou x Yui x Kago
If Helen Keller falls in the woods and no one is around, does she make a sound?

Official [WHOA] member, master and commander of the Tokunaga Chinami branch.

Offline rndmnwierd

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« Reply #115 on: September 11, 2006, 04:59:40 AM »
Mmm, food... :drool:

Don't worry about the drug use just yet.... *hypnotic tone* Forget you ever heard about it. Forget you ever heard about it.

I'm looking forward to your story Tanachan. I'm eager about where it's going.

Offline stefy

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« Reply #116 on: September 11, 2006, 06:36:49 AM »
woo~ brave yossie rawks! too bad rika wasn't there to see it..
the nakazawa-tsuji moment was priceless... but then what about aibon?
is there no aibon-nakazawa moment?

Offline YoukaiChica

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« Reply #117 on: September 11, 2006, 07:46:36 AM »
That was so sweet. I loved it. Its ok if you're a tease if you can pump out beautiful chapters like that.

Offline freya86

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« Reply #118 on: September 11, 2006, 09:14:47 AM »
*dies of cuteness*

// renai revolution ~ a j-pop/h!p slash community~ // yuko . kei . aika . koha . kanna . nacchi //

Offline rndmnwierd

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Innocence (Fourth Gen Love)
« Reply #119 on: September 12, 2006, 04:30:50 AM »
UPDATE!!!!!
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Rika was happy. It seemed like she was always happy these days and there was a good reason for it too. Hitomi. Currently both girls were at the latter’s house, listening to the radio upstairs in Yossui’s bedroom and sipping some sweet fruit drink from plastic cups.

It was pretty nice.

Rika was sitting at the girly vanity, examining all pictures taped to the mirror’s surface. Most were Print Club stickers, taken with family and friends; some were actual photographs of Morning Musume. Rika fondly remembered when a few were taken, but she would occasionally ask about the people she didn’t recognize.

“Who’s this?” she pointed to a Purikura with Yossui and another girl getting very close to each other. It was cute because the other girl was only five or six.

“Oh, that’s my little cousin. Isn’t she sweet?” Yossui’s voice dripped like a proud parent.

The older girl just nodded, continuing to look at the place where there was once a mirror. She was a little sad that there weren’t that many pictures of her up there, especially since it seemed like every other picture had Aibon or Nono in it.

She didn’t want to point it out and sound needy, but she didn’t have to. It was pretty obvious what she was thinking.

“There’re not a lot of you, huh?” her girlfriend’s voice sounded lowly by her ear and she jumped slightly. A gentle hand pulled her up out of the chair and led her towards the bed. “You’re special, so you get a special place.” They sat on the bed, Rika in Yossui’s lap, and stared at the bedside table for a moment.

“Um, I don’t see anything…” The older girl saw her girlfriend’s hand appear from behind her and open the top drawer. Inside were stacks of pictures, probably every picture they’d taken since they became a couple. Rika reached inside and pulled them out gently.

Slowly going through them, she noticed that almost all were decorated with hearts of some kind. She grinned at the silly faces they had in a few and paused at a plain picture with Maki and Yossui in it. She heard a nervous laugh behind her.

“Ahem, well. Maki is my idol…” Come to think of it, the picture looked older, like when they first joined. She let it slide, and finished sifting through the rest. She stopped at the last picture and stared. It was Yossui, probably from before they’d met, and she was hugging the arm of a handsome boy. You almost couldn’t see them for the amount of hearts covering the photo.

She felt her girlfriend shift uncomfortably underneath her and knew that she didn’t have to ask. “He’s my ex. We were really close; I thought that we’d be together forever. In fact, we started making plans to get married after high school. He was kind and usually understanding, but he absolutely hated my music. When I told him that I was trying out for Morning Musume, he tried to forbid me from going. I broke up with him.”

The two lay back on the bed, Rika making herself comfortable against the younger girl’s side, “I’m glad that I did, now that I have you.” Yossui finished her little explanation, kissing Rika’s head gently.

“I love you.” The older girl whispered quietly, realizing that this was the first time she had spoken about her feelings. “Hitomi-chan, I’ll try to support you in every way possible. I want us to be like this for a long time.”

“Not forever?”

“No, there is no forever.”

How right she was….



----Finally, some good Ishiyoshi on my part! So comment, dammit!
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