@lollipopgirl - Yeah, I'm sure everyone was there for her. Oh, and I think you may still need to use that whip every now and then!
@peti-chan - Can't wait to hear your version!
@tru_harmony - Thanks! Rika's gotta take the reigns sometimes!
@sweeety - I'd like to hear how you'd write it.
@kRisZ - That's the best combo of emotion, imo.
@wings4dreams - Thanks! It moved me while I wrote it. I can't help but wonder what really happened....
@Yukari - I hope it's real. That would be soooo romantic...
@JFC - 100% agreed.
@lil_hamz - Don't worry about it. As long as you read and enjoy, my job is done. I mean, comments are
and I'm taking it to heart that you'll try to comment more but I can understand if you can't do it as much as you'd like. You're welcome and thank you for reading!
Ok, well, here's part 2. I was listening to the perfect song while I wrote this, Bye Bye by Mariah Carey. Almost made me cry.
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Things Fall Apart: Part 2I couldn’t believe it.
When my mom called me up, I had no idea what to expect. She was sobbing and saying something about Kouta and an accident. I kept asking, “What, mom? What happened?” She just kept saying my name and crying. Finally, my dad took the phone from her and told me. My little brother was dead. Hit by a car on his bike. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I said goodbye to my father and threw the phone across the room. I grabbed a pillow off the couch and pressed my face into it. I screamed and cried with all of my energy.
When Tsunku found out, he called me into his office and told me to take as much time as I needed. I could take off for a month, if I wanted. I calmly told him in my best, controlled leader voice that I was fine and that I would continue to work. The only time I would take off was a few days to go back home for the funeral. He repeatedly asked me if I was sure. It started to get annoying. As I left, he called to me. “The offer is still open if you’d like to take it”, he smiled sadly.
I had to keep working. We were in the middle of a tour and I was leader. You just can’t up and abandon your team. And with work, I barely had any time to think about Kouta. Exactly how I wanted it. If I thought about it, I would have a meltdown and totally fall apart. I can’t let my girls see me like that.
After the tour ended, we had about a week of nothing. A small vacation. I tried my hardest to find things to do at the office. I even began helping the secretary out with her work. I just didn’t want to go home. There were too many things that made me think of him. I mean, we were always close and pretty similar in taste. I went home for the funeral but came back the next day. I felt bad leaving my parents and family like that but I just couldn’t stay. I almost booked a hotel room just so I wouldn’t have to stay in our childhood home.
But in the end, I broke. I was just sitting on the couch watching TV when my eyes began to water. They just kept flowing until I could barely see. I needed someone to hold me and there really was only one person I could count on.
Rika-chan.
I knocked on her door about an hour later, my hood pulled over my head. She opened it and smiled, gesturing me in. I nodded, went in and sat on the couch. Looking up at her, I felt a fresh wave of tears. She gasped at my appearance and pulled me close. “What’s wrong, Hitomi?”, she asked, her brow wrinkling cutely into a concerned expression. I tried to speak several times but it hurt too much. “Kouta….”, I finally managed to croak out before my throat became sore from the feeling of loss. She seemed to understand what I meant. I knew she would. We have been probably the closest (besides Ai-chan and Gaki) since our debut. She always knows how to fix me. This time, she just held me close to her chest. Exactly what I needed. I put my arms around her back, softly. My tears soaked into the blue T-shirt she was wearing.
“He was so young, just a baby”, I mumbled, finding my voice. She put her finger to my lips and made me stop speaking. Rika knew it would break me down more. Talking about my problems really don’t help. Of course, she would already know that. She was one of the few people who saw me like this. All broken and raw. My emotions poured out for the world to see.
“I can’t do this, Rika”, I whispered, my face against her arm. “What, baby?”, she asked, her voice quivering, ever so slightly. “I can’t break down like this”, I continued, “I have to be strong for us.” I finally said it. That I was hurting myself for the good of my friends. So they wouldn’t worry about me. So they could concentrate and give their all to our careers, our lives. Rika laughed lightly and replied, “It’s okay, your brother died. You have permission to show emotion.” I grinned slightly at her comment. But I knew she was right.
I was still crying as we lay back on the couch. I was in her arms and she held me like I was the most important thing in the world. It was a nice change. Usually, I’d be holding her. I guess we fell asleep because I felt her soft lips on my head a while later.
Thank you, Rika. It means a lot.
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edit: I've realized my fics are either sad or sexy.....or i guess romantic too.
Topic: strawb3rrykream's notebook (Aki Urara - updated 8/17) (Read 165845 times)