@rochilu: your observations are quite right, and this thing about Sae's existence is troubling her too. Nezumi will do her thing this chapter, so please look forward to it!
@Yuki88: That's what Sae thinks too...her mind will go wild with imagination of what could've happened. But this is not a very sad story, so hopefully things will turn out fine!
@fuu_kun: thanks for your messages and sorry to have made you wait! Too bad that the guy who assaulted Black is Miyazawa...the scumbag even said those hurtful words to Gakuran so it couldn't be anyone else. But what will happen to Sae? And what will she do? Please find out below!
@millca: yup! Is it the right thing to do? ---that's troubling Sae too. The mystery will be solved in the next few chapters, bit by bit... Yui takes a backseat in this chapter.
@kurogumi: Don't worry, Sae came in time! It's kind of heartbreaking, but worse could've happened? Anyway, you're right that it seems Sae's existence is threatened. Please read on to find out-- the truth may not be always the way we connect our dots...
@bunny_rabbit: yes!! congrats to HONMAYAN-CAPTAIN! There's really no one else better than Yui to do this! Of course there is sou-chan (Takamina), but it's different. Ganbatte Yokoyama-Team A, please take care of my Karen-chan and Tanochan too!
@LoyalFlutist: Thank you so much for your lovely comments!! I'm the one who should be sorry, since I'm just concentrated on finishing the fic now, and kept on dropping out on reading other stories OTL. Hopefully, I can read one of your fics soon, but there's a lot to catch up on! SaeYui is tragic in the flashbacks, but the important thing is what they will do next
@Shinoki: I found Daruma to be annoying at first, but slowly I began to respect her a lot! Though I can never understand what Gakuran saw in her too
so yeah...here's how I interpret Gakuran's crazy mind...kekeke
Thanks for your comments again, and sorry for the late update. More will come soon!
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Chapter 12 - Secrets and nightmares we will never tellI didn't say a word that night, as I brought Black home and put her to sleep, staying by her side until morning comes. She's still clutching the necklace tight in her dreams, but occasionally, she utters "Mayu, Mayuyu...", so I think she's dreaming about her.
I feel like I've just learnt the dirtiest secret on earth, and nothing pleases me more than to disappear from Black's life, forever and forever, this very second.
After she woke up, I fed her something, and she seemed quiet but fine, so I left the apartment, lying that I would go to school. Instead, I went home and locked myself in the room. At this moment, I am grabbing on to the jacket that rapist left behind, wanting to tear it into a million pieces.
I look at the dreaded label on the collar once again. The timing and situation perfectly explains everything. I was born around 9 months from now, and she named me Miyazawa instead of Kashiwagi. If I wasn't there last night, that....thing....would have carried on, as expected. I am not a child of love, or even a sad relationship. Black didn't choose to have me.
But now that I have foiled the assault, why am I still here? I shouldn't be born, right? I look at my hands, half expecting them to get translucent, like those plot lines in movies. They are as solid and fleshy as I last saw them. But why? I can't begin to think how much of history I have altered, and whether it will affect anything between Black and Nezumi.
Maybe he'll strike again, succeeding the next time?
Maybe it's just a coincidence, that he's...not my dad....but how else could it have been? Maybe he was there, he did it, and Nezumi found out later, so she tried to take revenge....and she gave her life for me? Yes, that's what Sayaka-ne said, that Watanabe Mayu gave her life for me....so that's what she meant? My imagination, conjectures, assumptions, presumptions...they all began to churn furiously in my mind. ARGGGGH............
I don't know why I felt like I need to do this, but I set up a fire in a waste backyard near home and put the jacket into the flames, burning my secret with it.
In the afternoon, I went back to school to see if there's any news about Maeda or Nezumi. Atsuko seems all right, as her usual self. I smile, seeing that at least, I have done something right. I then went downstairs, and found Nezumi sitting alone on the bench, swinging her legs absent-mindedly.
"Watanabe Mayu..." I decided to approach her.
She's a bit jaded when she looks at me.
"What have I been doing all this time?" She simply asks, looking into the distance.
"Why don't you...convey what you've seen to her?" I ventured.
"I don't think, I deserve to speak to her anymore."
"She's waiting for you. All this time, she's waiting. So screw what happened, stay by her side. She needs you."
"She needs me?" She looks at me, puzzled at this thought. "No one ever needs me. I'm a trouble maker, an evil person. I have no friends."
"Black is your friend! She never gives up on you, why are you giving up so quickly? Haven't you found the most precious key already? So why not unlock the treasure with it, now!"
Tears are rolling down her cheeks as she lowers her head in guilt.
"There's....em...Something bad happened last night. She's been calling your name again and again in her nightmares, so please, go to her now..." I steal a glance at her as I said it, as I'm also guilt-stricken with the secret I buried .
"Is she fine?" She rushed towards me and locked my shoulders in her tight grip, gazing at me with wide, concerned eyes. "It's horrible, isn't it? Traumas become nightmares, and nightmares slowly creep into the day, until all is burnt out..." Her hands slipped down my arms, and she began to slump down, so I caught her in my arms. Her eyes are now hollow, lacking the intensity she displayed just a moment ago.
"If you think that Saito's the source of my nightmare, you are wrong. After I'd been trapped in the pitch-black locker for the whole night, I broke down and threw myself into fathers' arms. But even he...he betrayed me too. Later, I discovered it's not the first time; the reason why he kept my past from me and moved away, was to use me as a 'victim' to pursue a law that will tear down facilities and parks for new business developments, in the name of protecting kids from accidents. The reason why I had to attend school was just so he could enter a political clique. The reason why he asked me to shut up after getting hurt was because I am not as useful as the politicians he's sucking up to. Don't you see? I had no one to trust, no one to turn to, I can't even trust the person closest to me! From that day on, I kept dreaming and dreaming about the same scenes and the same stupid words they utter to me, so so vapid and insignificant, but they never go away! I don't want Yuki to experience the same thing!! Why, why did I just let go of her?"
I think back on the sight of her abandoning Black in the alley as she regained her memories. Nezumi started hammering her fists on me and buried her crying face in my embrace. The cries are muffled, but they are sharp as daggers. How could I tell her the worse thing that came afterwards, when she's already so traumatized by Black's defeat last night? I let her cry in my arms for god knows how long, till those muffled sobs have died down.
"I remember, that day, before we went to the park and climb that tree, I was making a cake. A strawberry shortcake to surprise her. I put it in the oven even though I've messed up some of the ingredients..."she burst into a small laugh. "I was only eight. Anyway, that's what I promised her. A surprise. But all of that ended with a black-out. Then, it seems like I've been in a long, lonely winter. A winter that carried on for years, until yesterday..."
"A shortcake..." I gasped. It triggered a lot of memories, some of which I'd rather not think about now. The important thing is, that whatever happened afterwards, Yui did eat my cake. There's a reason why I made a strawberry shortcake on Yui's birthday, not only because she likes eating it, but also because it's the cake Mama taught me how to bake. That cake, must also mean a lot between them.
"Bake another cake and give it to her. You lost your chance eight years ago, don't break your promise to her again." I spoke this and left without divulging anything further about what happened last night.
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The next day and the day after, I didn't see Nezumi or Black at school anymore. The war that the rat has instigated is already in full force, and it will carry on without her here. As for Black, being a defeated heavenly king, all the attention has already shifted to the other top guns that are still standing. In short, no one is giving a damn about their absence.
Against my judgement, on the third day, I couldn't resist and went to Black's place, staring at the closed windows and pulled curtains of her apartment from downstairs. I wonder if she's doing okay, if Nezumi has approached her, or if she's simply dealing with the trauma on her own again. How do I tell her about that jacket?
As I'm still hesitating, Nezumi...no, Mayu is walking towards me, with two grocery bags in her hands.
"Gakuran! Come up with me!! Yukirin will be delighted to see you!" The smile she's beaming is so pure with joy, that I can't hide my shock.
"What?" She glares at me as if I'm not supposed to be surprised. When we reached the door, I'm still hesitant about whether I should go in, but before opening the door, Mayu whispers into my ear and fakes a punch with her fist right there between my thighs.
"Don't even think about going after Yukirin. She's mine now." I gulped at this statement, or threat, although I'm relieved at the same time. It seems like their relationship has gone in heaps and bounds within these few days.
"Don't worry one bit..." I faked a smile as I carefully brushed her fist away. Nezumi beams back in an 'innocent' smile and opens the door.
"Black..." I scratched my head uneasily as I go in. Sitting at the table, she smiles gently at me.
"Gakuran, thanks for coming to see me." We all sat down, and Mayu started recounting how her shortcake had melted her Yukirin's heart the moment she saw it. She proceeded to reenact the moment she confessed to her, and I've got to say this girl had guts to just barge in and say 'I love you'. Then for a few seconds, she got really mad at the unknown guy who tried to rape her; it appears that Yuki had opened up about that soon after she got there. But then, Mayu calms down quickly when she talks about how Yukirin hasn't changed much behind that gothic facade.
"She still pouts when she sees green pepper in dishes, which is why I'm going to make some more for dinner tonight." She dangles that bag in front of Black, who's flared up her nostrils disapprovingly, before she leaves us and started preparing food in the kitchen.
"Ne, Black...are you completely fine now?"
Black looks at me and nods genuinely. "Yes, nothing really happened in the end, right? Thanks for saving me. I remember that night, I had a nightmare, but it didn't have anything to do with the man. It was me, getting lost in the secret garden, running around in circles, sometimes seeing Mayuyu's back, and sometimes loosing her from my grasp. I hadn't felt so near to, yet so far from her for a long long time. I woke up thinking, 'Is she coming back to me?' Then really, she came! So, Gakuran, thanks for all you've done for Mayuyu and I." She smiles sweetly when she mentioned the mischievous girl's name. Mayuyu this....Mayuyu that....it's giving me goosebumps!
"I'm glad you're doing fine. I knew you're in love with her, ever since I see you fight her that day." I told her about the time when I hid and saw her confront Nezumi in the underpass. "When you said you knew her more than she remembered, the softness in your eyes betray the cool in your voice. But both of you were too blind to notice it."
"Really?" Black looks down and smiles embarrassingly, a slight pinkness covering her cheeks.
"Anyway..." I added. "Nezumi and I will try our best to find out who did that horrible thing..."
"No it's fine!" Black quickly interjected. "I don't want any of you to get into trouble. You two are the only family to me. All I ask is for you to stay by my side..." her voice trails off as she eyes Mayu, who doesn't seem to be listening to us.
"Mayuyu is angry, but I don't want her to do any silly things. Promise me, don't let her know any details about what happened..."she whispers in a low voice.
Hesitantly, I nodded. Suddenly, Mayu appeared behind her back and threw her arms around her, stealing a kiss on her lips.
"What are you trying to hide from me?" She teases jokingly. "Dinner is almost ready." She continues to assault Black with a series of kisses on her cheeks, lips, neck and nape. Like I totally do not exist.
"Oi...stop that..." Black pushes her away laughingly. "There's someone here."
I notice a few marks exposed on her collarbone, behind the slightly pulled down shirt. Wow....has it been second base, third base...or home run already?
"eh-hem! I am having dinner with the Kabuki Sisters tonight, so I better leave now..."
"O what a pity..." Mayu looks at me expectantly. "I was hoping you could stay for a while longer..."
"O it's okay...good to see you both...happy. Ciao ciao!" I saluted them and left the apartment quickly, exhaling a breath of relief as I closed the door. Wow, is that what they call, love? That's way, way, way too much for me to process!
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We all began to go back to school as usual, and Maeda's Army kept marching on. After Geki's inconclusive fight with Atsuko, I went to visit Yuko again. But to my alarm, she's clamoring to leave bed in her frail body as I entered the room.
"Oi, Yuko!" I scolded as I scooped her up and forced her back to the bed. "Did you think the doctors were joking when they forbid you to leave this room?"
"No, Gakuran..." Yuko-san tried to push me off, but she's panting even just to raise her arms. "I...must...stop.........Haruna..."
"Haruna?" I've never heard of this person before.
She looks up with desperate and pleading eyes. "Please, Sae, let me....stop....her. She... Sado can't...wake....her....up...."
She blacks out for a few seconds as she collapsed onto me. But I saw it, I saw it in her eyes.
"Torigoya, she's the one you love, right?"
"Haruna can't stand Torigoya, her powers will hurt her! We fought and fought, until she read my pain and got overwhelmed....that's how I locked Torigoya away, along with...."
"Along with your love, right? That's why she can't recall anything except your kindness to her as Rappapa's Bucho! You're so silly, Yuko!" I wanted to stand up and find Torigoya now, but Yuko-san pulled my arm.
"No! I don't want her to remember anything! Just, just stop Maeda...please?"
I sighed and told her the truth, "They are fighting now, it's too late... But don't worry, maybe's Atsuko's past will be a good medicine for her too...maybe then, Torigoya and Haruna can tolerate each other more, you'd never know..."
Torigoya was indeed defeated by Maeda's guilt. Atsuko must be going through so much pain everyday, so much that it purged Torigoya from Haruna's body again, turning her back to a timid girl who got owned by Astuko easily. In the end, I don't think Haruna will remember Yuko-san properly, but I respect Yuko's decision as I would've done the same thing myself. Like me, she will do anything protect the person she loves from even more pain, whether it's from other people, or from she herself....
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/*flashback begins
"Sae! Open up! I knew you're in there!" The banging at the front door was incessant.
"Bisu misses you! Please, I'm sorry, it's my fault, please let me see you!" No it's not, and I don't want to see you! I almost broke my promise that day when you cried in the rain, but there's nothing I could give you, even if I showed up now!
"Come on, I will really break this door, now!" Yui's voice is close to roaring. Sometimes, I wondered if she'd become one of those angry obasans chasing their kids around, kind of like Gian's mom.
I picked the phone up and finally called. "Is this OO police station? Could you send someone over? There's a stalker at my house and I don't want to see her."
I peeked through the curtains as I saw her being dragged away by the police. Somehow, seeing her furious face instead of a crying one was encouraging. The two officers found it hard to restrain her; I didn;t realize she's that resilent! Maybe if she became a yankee, she would be stronger than me... but anyway, even without each other, we might just be able to move on after all...
*/flashback ends
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The fight between Maeda and Sado has culminated into Atsuko's victory, and the distant rings of Yuko's death knell could be heard. We all rushed to the hospital after the fight, with Yuko-san promising to attend the graduation ceremony no matter what.
"Yuko..." I grab her hands tightly, trying to suppress my tears.
"Sae-chan...you have changed."
"..." I bit my lips as I struggle to respond.
"Do you find purpose in fighting now? It's not just to protect people you love...it's more than that. I hope you found something important in yourself after each fight, like Maeda did."
"Yes, I did. Even though I don't know the effects of what I've done," I was still thinking back at that night when I found the 'Miyazawa' jacket, "I knew they're all for my friends' sake."
"Don't worry. There must be a purpose for you to be here, everything that's happened....you must believe that you've changed history for good." Her expressive eyes told me that she meant exactly what she said.
"Yuko-san...do you already know?"
"That you don't belong here? Even though it's hard to believe, but I can guess. The way you talked about yourself the first day we met...that can't be a stupid prank, can it? Whatever it is, you've helped me. You've helped Maeda....and I saw how Black has changed. Thank you....And, your secret will be safe with me, since I'm bringing it to the grave soon."
"Sshh" I stopped her from talking and hugged her. Thank you, Yuko, for standing by me even when I'm doubting myself!
"But what about Haruna?" I asked one more time.
"Don't you see how she's balling her eyes out outside?" She chuckles as she said that. A broad smile spreads on her face as she gazes at the door. "She's so innocent...so fine, the way she is now. Knowing that is enough to make me the happiest person on earth."
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That was my last private meeting with Yuko. Graduation came, and I witnessed the moment when Yuko-san finally passed the torch to Maeda. An era of Rappapa has ended.
I'm now on my way back home after dinner with Choukoku, who said she'll be looking for a job tomorrow. With Maeda on the throne, and everyone else happy and graduated, the second year of me in Majisuka has come to a close. Yet it leaves me wondering why I am still here. What's the purpose? Unconsciously, I have walked into the field where Yuko-san have found me. I wonder how I could go back, and if I do, what's the future like? Maybe I can't anymore, because I'm not supposed to exist now....
"Gakuran!"
The voice of Mayu startled me. I didn't expect to see her here.
"I found him. I found who almost did it."
"Mayu...." How's that possible? She found the rapist?
"I was there that night." She crosses her arms and looks at me coldly. "Like you, I went back to see her, but all I saw was a shadow of a man running away, and you, hugging Yuki in your arms. Boy...it took me long and hard to find out, with no evidence or clues, not even the stupid jacket, which you've purposedly hidden from me. After I found out the guy's identity, I think I know the reason."
"No Mayu, don't seek revenge!" I begged her in frustration, not because I wanted to protect my so-called Dad, but the vision of Mayu's gravestone kept creeping up in my mind. My sixth sense tells me that her death must have something to do with this.
"Of course you don't want to, Miyazawa Sae!"
My eyes widen in realization of what she must be wrongly thinking right now.
"Miyazawa Kengo, a senior at Sabado High School. You guys are related, aren't you?" Without waiting for me to reply she punches me hard on my face.
"Mayu..." Not idling for a second, she pulled my collar and punched me yet again.
"Ouch!" I grabbed onto the arm that's about to strike again. "Mayu...listen! It's not like that, I don't know this person at all!"
"Then why, why are you hiding this?" Her menacing look could kill someone.
"It's, it's not meant to be like this..." That's all I could manage to say, not very convincing, eh?
"Ha? Don't call yourself Yuki's friend if you are not serious!" She finally lets go of me and straightened her hoodie. "Still, for what you have done for us, I will let you redeem yourself. Are you coming with me then, to seek revenge?"
I looked at her and thought...if anything bad happens, at least, I can stop her from getting hurt.
"OK, but we're not going to kill him. Don't do anything silly, promise me."
"Just like you to your Atsuko, my seriousness is all reserved for Yuki." Her face darkens with an evil grin. "Besides, Nezumi can get away with everything."
Topic: Majisuka Gakuran (Chapter 16/16) [Mayuki, Saeyui] - FINAL - [Complete] (Read 51750 times)